Friends

[jerryB]

I've worked hard to become entrepreneur. Not only to get money, but also to gain independence, freedom, to be able to decide what and when I want to do stuff, to be able help my family, travel, etc.

The problem is, I feel kind of alone in this Most of my friends are 9-5ers. Ain't nothing wrong with that. If somebody wants to do it - that's totally fine. But the thing is, they don't have time for anything, they're stuck with their jobs, mortgages, wives/husbands and also they have a different mentality than me, which I find kind of toxic. I want to explore the world, travel, do fun stuff, develop myself, maybe open new business, and they just prefer to stay at home for the entire day and complain about things.

So I've managed to create a business that pays my bills, but at the same all of my friends went their own way. So I feel kind of alone :/
Do you think it's time to find new, like-minded friends?

 

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[JKm]

I've worked hard to become entrepreneur. Not only to get money, but also to gain independence, freedom, to be able to decide what and when I want to do stuff, to be able help my family, travel, etc.

The problem is, I feel kind of alone in this Most of my friends are 9-5ers. Ain't nothing wrong with that. If somebody wants to do it - that's totally fine. But the thing is, they don't have time for anything, they're stuck with their jobs, mortgages, wives/husbands and also they have a different mentality than me, which I find kind of toxic. I want to explore the world, travel, do fun stuff, develop myself, maybe open new business, and they just prefer to stay at home for the entire day and complain about things.

So I've managed to create a business that pays my bills, but at the same all of my friends went their own way. So I feel kind of alone :/
Do you think it's time to find new, like-minded friends?

Sure. It`s totally natural to get that feeling. Either I didn`t understood it clearly before. But after reading more than 1500 books & 200 researches in last 10 month / 4000 hours, it becomes very ovious, reasonable, even no need to discuss.

9-5 traped new-world slaves are `harmful`. They always trying hard to attack/drag the right mindset, because those oppsite mindset can`t coexist in one`s mind.

Now, I`m wearing a thick mask in real life, all the time(with lies that I have a 9-5 job), and throw verification questions at people who comes to me before make that relationship any further. (metaphors, criticism related to big issues, etc) If they can`t pass it, I don`t give a 1sec for them after that meeting. most common improper answers are related to fatalistic nonsense, no logic, irrationality.

Relationship from past

Cutted off almost every single one.
*Only my parents are left in contact, which is hard one to just cut off. But don`t make a contact with them often, I mean less then 1 time a year, so it`s not a big issue. I have a second phone number, and i gave that one to my parents. I just put that phone in drawer, and never take it out more than 1 time a year.

*26 years of friendship? I cutted off cause he`s lazy & 9-5 slave who only loves candy & videogame.
Friends from highschool/college? Cutted off cause all they care about is stupid party/car/game, and also in 9-5 slave terms.


New relationship
Soon I cutted off the past from me, I realized that I need some people to contact with. And that needs made me to find interesting people as much/soon as possible.

Now I have
5 training friends, Which have no hesitation about train 4hours a day & keep the strong discipline, with or with out any goals. They are like predatory animals. (meet at park workout area / martial arts gym)
3 wealthy guys with no fear, concern, and have more than 0.3 million dollar on their own / their parents holds 4~5 million dollar profit / year. (meet at martial arts gym / Univ library)
+10 penpal / message relationship with aspiring/current entrepreneurs. (meet at forums, introduction from others)

If you have a great mindset by your own, right people will recognize it for sure, if you share it in right ways. Please don`t waste your precious times in negative, harmful, meaningless relationships.

 

[jerryB]

@jun thanks for your response.

Being an entrepreneur is great. It's very rewarding, gives a lot of independence, but on the other hand it can get kind of lonely when you can't find like-minded people around.

 

[UK_Mike]

I'm not sure I'd want to pick or reject friends just because of what they choose to do with their life. Sure, it's annoying that they can't just drop everything when you want to go off for a few days because they've got to go to work. If they're good enough friends, surely that side of things doesn't matter, you just see them when it's convenient for both of you. Maybe they want to go out for a day sometime and you can't make it because you're polishing your yacht or something - would you expect them to drop you because of it?

I don't have that many actual friends (can you tell) and a few of them have quite different views to me on some subjects. I either steer clear of those subjects, or they're a thing to talk about while we're in the pub and it's often more interesting to talk about stuff with someone who has a different view. Of course, if you have people that are continually arguing (as opposed to discussing) or putting your beliefs down, that's a different matter and maybe they're not actually friends.

 

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[Ing]

You can do nearly everything alone.
In my experience its the best to do that.
I can do my hobby/sport/passion …. Alone.
Sometimes some friends will ad, but in the long run I do it alone.

 

[jerryB]

I'm not sure I'd want to pick or reject friends just because of what they choose to do with their life. Sure, it's annoying that they can't just drop everything when you want to go off for a few days because they've got to go to work.

It's not about it. I don't care what they do, but with their attitude I feel like I'm being dragged down. My enthusiasm always goes down while I'm with them.

Of course, if you have people that are continually arguing (as opposed to discussing) or putting your beliefs down, that's a different matter and maybe they're not actually friends.

I'm beginning to feel that might be true. Maybe I should just let them go and find like-minded people or at least people who are more enthusiastic.

You can do nearly everything alone.
In my experience its the best to do that.
I can do my hobby/sport/passion …. Alone.
Sometimes some friends will ad, but in the long run I do it alone.

I do that, but I'm wondering also if doing almost everything alone all the time is good for us in the long run. We need other people, we need social interaction. On the other hand, hanging out with losers that drag you down, are unenthusiastic and suck your energy might be even worse. I don't know.

Btw, I have a hobby - hiking. But I'm afraid to go alone because of bears / wolves - lol. In the area where I like to hike there's a population of brown bears. It's a small population, but still they're possible to encounter. That's the only thing that stops me from going alone. Sometimes I go with friends, but it's like once or twice year at best. And I'd rather do it every weekend ^^

 

[JKm]

I'm not sure I'd want to pick or reject friends just because of what they choose to do with their life. Sure, it's annoying that they can't just drop everything when you want to go off for a few days because they've got to go to work. If they're good enough friends, surely that side of things doesn't matter, you just see them when it's convenient for both of you. Maybe they want to go out for a day sometime and you can't make it because you're polishing your yacht or something - would you expect them to drop you because of it?

I don't have that many actual friends (can you tell) and a few of them have quite different views to me on some subjects. I either steer clear of those subjects, or they're a thing to talk about while we're in the pub and it's often more interesting to talk about stuff with someone who has a different view. Of course, if you have people that are continually arguing (as opposed to discussing) or putting your beliefs down, that's a different matter and maybe they're not actually friends.

It`s not about `drop everything when you want`. They curses you, want to drag/shake you, just because you`re ambitious, and wanna get out of there tribe. It`s called crab mentality, and it`s usual thing, I could even say it`s basic attitude or something. It doesn`t matter if they are busy or not.

`Good enough` judged by what? Nice to you, and be friendly when you don`t deny there life / future?

`Quiet diffrent views on some subject` Nah man, there`s wrong opinions out there, and most of them are very harmful. If you live as a normal, not as an aspirant, it doesn`t matter, it`s totally fine to recieve those wrong informations. But that`s not what we`re talking about here. Why would you come here, if you want to live that form of life & work 50~60 years with no hope?

It's not about it. I don't care what they do, but with their attitude I feel like I'm being dragged down. My enthusiasm always goes down while I'm with them.




I'm beginning to feel that might be true. Maybe I should just let them go and find like-minded people or at least people who are more enthusiastic.


I do that, but I'm wondering also if doing almost everything alone all the time is good for us in the long run. We need other people, we need social interaction. On the other hand, hanging out with losers that drag you down, are unenthusiastic and suck your energy might be even worse. I don't know.

Btw, I have a hobby - hiking. But I'm afraid to go alone because of bears / wolves - lol. In the area where I like to hike there's a population of brown bears. It's a small population, but still they're possible to encounter. That's the only thing that stops me from going alone. Sometimes I go with friends, but it's like once or twice year at best. And I'd rather do it every weekend ^^

I could recommand you a book, which contains exact / right direction about this subject.

Habitus -by Doris Martin

 

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[Hong_Kong]

Now, I`m wearing a thick mask in real life, all the time(with lies that I have a 9-5 job), and throw verification questions at people who comes to me before make that relationship any further. (metaphors, criticism related to big issues, etc) If they can`t pass it, I don`t give a 1sec for them after that meeting. most common improper answers are related to fatalistic nonsense, no logic, irrationality.

Relationship from past

Cutted off almost every single one.
*Only my parents are left in contact, which is hard one to just cut off. But don`t make a contact with them often, I mean less then 1 time a year, so it`s not a big issue. I have a second phone number, and i gave that one to my parents. I just put that phone in drawer, and never take it out more than 1 time a year.

This is the best approach. Why be friends with people that have a losing mentality in life? All they can do for you is give you a false sense of security, or comfort.

I like the idea of using screening tests. In the book with through intimidation by Ringer he shares his experiences doing deals with people who put him through similar tests or trials before doing business.

 

[JKm]

This is the best approach. Why be friends with people that have a losing mentality in life? All they can do for you is give you a false sense of security, or comfort.

I like the idea of using screening tests. In the book with through intimidation by Ringer he shares his experiences doing deals with people who put him through similar tests or trials before doing business.

Thanks, it`s pleasure to hear that.

I got one of Ringers book about intimidation right after receiving your recommandation. (It`s easy to get, because I was already at the Univ library.)
It`s good book, and remind me that zero-sum minded cheaters are out there, which imitate fine human being. I`ve been while thinking/developing at value / coexistance approach, but now I`ll adjust this side. It`s too dangerous not to prepare.

Return for your kindness - [Crowds and Power, by Elias Canetti] .

 

[UK_Mike]

It`s not about `drop everything when you want`. They curses you, want to drag/shake you, just because you`re ambitious, and wanna get out of there tribe.

I was really replying to this bit:

But the thing is, they don't have time for anything, they're stuck with their jobs, mortgages, wives/husbands

Like I said, if they're continually sniping at you because you're trying to do better than they do, because they don't have the same ambition, then that's a different thing. If they're spouting stuff that just isn't true by any standard, again that's probably not someone you want to spend a lot of time around. I was about to give another example but thought better of it, I'm just saying that friends aren't necessarily those people with exactly the same views and ambitions to you. If you're having a debate about something, it's not always an interesting debate if everyone agrees. In any case, when someone tries to evangelise just getting a normal 9-5 job against your mega-successful entrepreneur path, that's just someone else you can go back to in a few years once you've proved them wrong, and some like to have that kind of impetus to push them along a bit..

All from me now on the subject of friends, it's not a subject I'm that knowledgeable on, and there is no right answer. I do most things alone, just sometimes it gets a bit boring.

 

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[SteveO]

What are your interests?

Obviously business is one of them. I found most of my friends related to entrepreneurial arena through the forum.

But I have many interests. I like to run so I find others near me with the same interests.

I used to play a lot of softball and had friends that did the same.

I enjoy 4 wheeling and have friends that meet-up locally to go on runs. Actually have a couple sets here. One group enjoys hard-core rock crawling and the other prefers hiking and points of interest. We sometimes take our motorhomes out on excursions to other states in groups. Have also gone to large jeeping events around the country and meet new people.

My wife is an incredible athlete. She traveled with a team to play softball and volleyball tournaments. Had lots of friends there. She does the same with golf. She has local friends that she plays with. Since her level is pretty high, she also has women that she travels with to play in the more competitive events. These friends are not local.

It does not make sense to try and convert people to liking what you do. It makes more sense to find people with similar interests.

I also have a local group of friends that meet weekly at homes or restaurants.

I don't care how people make their money. I care that we are compatible in the moment.