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Facing a headwind

InspireHD

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I’ve read The Millionaire Fastlane 2.5 times and recently bought it on Audible so that I could listen to it while I was driving. I really like audiobooks since I can listen to them during times when I normally wouldn’t be able to stop and read. Every now and then something will jump out at me.

One of those things was his section on Escaping Environmental Headwinds (pg 176). He writes:

Another headwind could be your work environment. If your hated job drains the life out of you, it’s a headwind. After a long workday and you have nothing left for your dreams and your Fastlane plan, you’re done. The headwind keeps you trapped.
This is so much me. I work 12-hour shifts, two on, two off, every other three day weekend. I wake up at 5:15am and don’t get home until 7pm. The nature of the job wears me down and leaves my mental energy at an all-time low. My off days usually end up being mindless so I can recharge. And because I work every other weekend, when I do have a weekend off, they usually end up getting filled up fast with family plans. I have a 5mo old baby who goes to sleep early so on days I’m working, I’m lucky to see her for about 5-10 minutes before I have to go to work. She’s already sleeping by the time I get home.

The 12-hour shifts generally result in waking up early, working all day, getting home and making dinner for my wife and me, getting ready for the next day, and maybe a half hour to myself before going to bed so I can get enough sleep for the next day. Essentially, the days you work, the work becomes your day – even worse on the three day weekend.

The interesting thing is that a couple years ago I went to two training courses that were two weeks long each scheduled from 8am to 4pm. Being able to sleep in a couple hours extra and then get home at a reasonable time feeling like I still had the opportunity to take advantage of the day was so amazing. I had so much more energy and was in a better mood.

Now, I just feel so wiped out constantly. Some days it’s hard to get up and get started.

The things keeping me where I am is the fact that I get paid really well for what I do, I have benefits for my family, a pension after retirement (still 20 years away if I make it that long) while I’m still ‘younger’ (55), and the unfortunate fact that I built up my lifestyle around my income, plus, the time commitment of “Years of Service.” I’m not in a position where I can jump from job to job. It’s pretty much a one stop shop until retirement.

It feels like the “golden handcuffs” are on a little too tight right now, but I’m so tired all the time and the more frustrated I get, the more I realize how much it’s affecting my mood and attitude at home.

My reason for posting this isn’t to have the forum make life decisions for me (I know the rule), it’s just to seek advice on how to get my head sorted out. My heart says I need to get out of my current job, my brain is telling me getting another “job” is not the answer. I am under the assumption that trying to find another job will require a big pay cut, but it may be temporary if it gives me the ability to start a Fastlane business without being tired all the time.

I appreciate your time and any advice or follow-up questions.
 

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Fotis

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How about focusing on your diet? I have clients in a similar position, and when we fix their diet habits (along with some supplements) they are much better off. They are not entrepreneurs, but have more energy and their mood improves a lot.
 

Real Deal Denver

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Did I read it correctly that you're 55 and have 20 years to go for a pension?

If that is correct, what would you estimate your pension to be. I've known people that have $50 a month, $500 a month, and $3,000 a month pensions, so they are definitely not all the same. By the way, the low $50 one was for a "secure" state government job that was a nurse - not something like a lowly mail clerk.
 
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InspireHD

InspireHD

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How about focusing on your diet? I have clients in a similar position, and when we fix their diet habits (along with some supplements) they are much better off. They are not entrepreneurs, but have more energy and their mood improves a lot.
Diet is one thing I need to focus on a lot. I tend to eat when I'm bored or tired and at work I'm bored sometimes and tired a lot. I also snack in the middle of the night. I'll wake up at midnight and look for something sweet and sugary.

I've been experimenting with more salads at work, which has helped my satiety. One of the issues is that I think I have an addiction to sugar. When I get in those bored or tired phases, I look for a quick shot of energy, which ends up being sugar or processed carbs.

Did I read it correctly that you're 55 and have 20 years to go for a pension?

If that is correct, what would you estimate your pension to be. I've known people that have $50 a month, $500 a month, and $3,000 a month pensions, so they are definitely not all the same. By the way, the low $50 one was for a "secure" state government job that was a nurse - not something like a lowly mail clerk.
Sorry. I will be able to retire in 20 years with a full pension at the age of 55. They estimate that my pension would be in the area of $6,000 per month. I can vest in 7 years and then if I leave after that and after I turn the age of 50, the pension will be around $3,000 per month. But....that's 7 more years to tolerate. I'm struggling with the thought of that. There is so much going on that I can't even post it here. I would need a therapy session to get through it all. haha
 

Real Deal Denver

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Diet is one thing I need to focus on a lot. I tend to eat when I'm bored or tired and at work I'm bored sometimes and tired a lot. I also snack in the middle of the night. I'll wake up at midnight and look for something sweet and sugary.

I've been experimenting with more salads at work, which has helped my satiety. One of the issues is that I think I have an addiction to sugar. When I get in those bored or tired phases, I look for a quick shot of energy, which ends up being sugar or processed carbs.

Sorry. I will be able to retire in 20 years with a full pension at the age of 55. They estimate that my pension would be in the area of $6,000 per month. I can vest in 7 years and then if I leave after that and after I turn the age of 50, the pension will be around $3,000 per month. But....that's 7 more years to tolerate. I'm struggling with the thought of that. There is so much going on that I can't even post it here. I would need a therapy session to get through it all. haha
Well Inspire, I've given this a lot of thought. I am going to take you on a ride you won't forget, so fasten your seat belt. Here we go.

You are at a VERY important crossroads in your life. I know that because I was there, and I made a leap of faith. And it worked out great - not. I wish everything had a happy ending, but it doesn't always work that way. I hope I can help you with some things to think about.

First of all, have you heard the term golden handcuffs? It's a deal so good that you have to take it, even if you don't want to. I think your situation falls into that category. There are reasons for a deal being that good. Bads ones - and that's why they have to sweeten the pot with something too good to ignore.

You have a great asset which you have to decide how to use. Time. You have a LOT of it. Enough for at least two more careers, in fact. Let's pause and think about what you have to trade here. Time, or, put in more stark terms - your life. And even starker than that: your happiness. It is clear your job is robbing you of, let's say for dramatic effect, your soul. Now let's look at possibilities of what could go right, and what could go wrong. First, my wife put in 30 years in a very good company. She, and a lot of other people, got a raw deal. The company declared bankruptcy - laid her off - and now, the one thing she has to show for a huge part of her life, which is her pension, has been turned over to a government agency because the company can no longer maintain it. Hmmmm. She did her part - but what happened to her "deal" that she bargained and worked for? Robbed.

Let's take another situation. My wife just found out that her former supervisor, who did not get laid off, and was making more money than she ever did - died. Ow. The deal he had never came to be either.

So let's pause here for a thought...

if you don't build your dream.JPG

Pretty sobering thought isn't it? That certainly happened to my wife and her supervisor. After everything was all said and done, they didn't get their part of the bargain. That happens a lot.

Let me touch on my life briefly. I have been an expert in THREE careers. All of them have gone down the tubes in one way or another. It wasn't my fault, nor was I stabbed in the back. It was simply due to things changing. Things can change a lot. Especially over the 20 year period you are contemplating.

I am now focusing strictly on building my own dreams - and they are going to be on a SHORT timeline to success. I have seen too many things evaporate over time. My plans are going to be successful in three years or less. I have them stacked in a certain order. One will fund another larger one, and so on. With the power and knowledge we have at our disposal through the internet, there has NEVER been a better time to be in some sort of business. But it's a two edged sword. What we can learn and achieve in a short time can also turn against us and produce fearful competition almost overnight.

Here's another take on this subject. I am a careful person, and more conservative than most people. I don't take stupid chances - I don't rely on luck any more than I have to - and I study and plan as much as possible. I cannot afford to make stupid mistakes. Very few people can.

So my advice to you would be to wade into a "plan of success" slowly. Never bet the rent, as the saying goes. Never put in more than you can afford to lose. It will take longer, but you will survive and be stronger. But the rule of scale is that you have to get big fast to be successful and profitable. There are ways to do that without being rash. The first business I built I was making more in one day than I was in my regular job working all week. I didn't quit my regular job, by the way. I kept it and doubled my income. That's not adventuresome, but it is smart. I tried to expand by hiring other people, but it didn't work out. Fine - it was profitable for what it was. You can do something along those lines. Don't bet the rent - at least not at first...

This could be a book, of course, but I'm trying to just "hit the high spots." If you need an idea of what to do I have three basic suggestions. First, find out what YOU don't like that you could change, and there is your project. If you don't like it, a lot of other people probably don't either. Secondly, you can buy lots of books on Amazon.com on how to start a business, or how to make money. They are loaded with ideas. Ideas are not hard to come by. They're everywhere. Thirdly, you could find something around you that could be greatly improved on. You don't have to be the first in anything. It is far more important to be the best. I have a friend that has a small hole in the wall restaurant that ONLY serves breakfast. He doesn't want it to get bigger until what he has so far is paid for - and that's working great for him. It will get bigger some day soon. He serves a damn good breakfast, and his customers love him. It's a side gig. He is planning on doing the exact same thing in a nearby town. Now he will have two side gigs. Side gigs, by the way, that he can't be screwed out of, like my wife and her supervisor were.

I have a few of my own side gigs. Too many, in fact. I have a very fertile mind, and a long list of things I want to do. I need to tame things down and concentrate on what I can do really good right now - which I am working on doing exactly that.

Here's another thought for you to ponder: It's not what we do in life that we regret: it's what we didn't do.

You might not be able to jump into something full speed, and that's par for the course for a LOT of people. But don't use that as an excuse. I do want you to highly VALUE what you are bargaining for over the next 20 years. That's your life, and your happiness. If worse comes to worse, and your dream just CAN'T work out the way you want it to, then reinvent it. How about a partnership? Find a way!

Coming here was an important step. You need some input to think things over. Think things over for a while. Don't hurry. Let your thoughts develop. A rose takes a long time to bloom and you can't force it.

You will find an answer, my friend. It might not be what you think it will be today - it may change. Or you may change your attitude and decide your job really isn't so bad. Whatever happens will be the result of your careful analysis, and that will make it the RIGHT choice for you. That's all that matters in the end - what is RIGHT for you. Keep an open mind because your dream might not work out - or your job may not look so bad right now after you think about it - but allow yourself to change your mind. The ONE and only thing I know for certain, and I have the scars to prove it - is that nothing stays the same. Don't bank on something happening if it's out of your control (MJ hammered that concept in his book, The Millionaire Fastlane - which you NEED to reread every so often). Expect the best, but prepare for the worst.

And, always dream big!

what could go right.JPG
 
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InspireHD

InspireHD

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Thanks, @Real Deal Denver
I had to read that a couple times. I was limited on time the last few days and wanted to be able to take the time to focus in and read it.

There has been a lot going on inside my work that I can't specifically pubically talk about, but I often find myself questioning why I do what I do. You're right, things change. The job I am doing now was my "dream job." It was literally the only career/job I ever thought about doing. Now I'm doing it and that dream has faded. Things changed. People changed. I changed. My outlook on life has changed. Every day I keep thinking about how short life can be. I'm not guaranteed anything, especially the guarantee to live long enough for "someday" to happen.

I often think about having a future business that does so well that having a pension won't matter. Others I talk to keep saying that it does, though. I'm conflicted because my inner circle, or close-inner circle, does not have the same mindset as me. I'm surrounded by people who make the same income as I do and don't look anywhere beyond that.

There are a few things I would really like to do, but I haven't decided on committing to any of them.

I have an idea for a book to write.

I have an idea for a website that I want to develop, except I don't exactly know how to code it yet. I am learning Python, but then I wonder if it would be more worth it to just have someone design it for me?

I think it would be really cool to start an investment fund, similar to Warren Buffett.

I'm currently working on web design, but have put nearly zero time into it.

I had a government contracting business going, but after only winning two contracts and barely making more than $10, I put it off to the side and haven't worked on it at all this year.

If I knew I couldn't fail, I would write that book, develop that website, and start that investment fund; however, there are no guarantees that any of them will work out or that I'll do them or that I won't lose money, etc.

It seems the problem is that I'm impatient. I'm in a hurry to try to figure out a way out of my current job, which causes me to push anything aside that will probably take longer than I want to tolerate. So many people say it'll take three years, etc. etc. That's frustrating to me because I don't know if I can tolerate three more years being unhappy, unfulfilled, stressed, anxious, and tired all the time.

It's a classic case of chasing money instead of providing value. Being able to replace my work income (or earn enough to pay expenses) is a huge stressor that it's the one thing stuck in the front of my mind all the time.

You're also right about regretting the things I didn't do. So many times I imagine my life at 80 years old regretting never putting myself out there or trying harder. I think about how I want my life to be, but then I let another day pass without doing anything toward trying to gain my time and freedom back. This is one thing I'm working on to try to gain some traction and build better habits. My time is valuable to me, but at the same time, I don't use my time wisely.

I'm so tired of tolerating being unhappy and unfulfilled. So much of my life has been tolerating things I don't particularly enjoy. I wish it were easier to see the way forward, but one thing is for certain, that I have to start taking control of my life.

You hit on so many points so well. I wish I could just lay out everything going on so somebody could tell me that I'm not wrong to feel the way I do. I've seriously thought about taking advantage of meeting with a psychologist to try and open up a little bit and get a better perspective on things.

I really can't thank you enough for taking the time to reply to me in the thoughtful way that you did. It gives me more confidence knowing that I'm not alone or at least that how I've been thinking is generally on the right path.
 

Real Deal Denver

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We're in the same boat brother. We have so much in common, it's scary. But in a good way...

I too come here so I can find people of the same mindset. It's a rare thing. I don't have one single friend or family member that thinks big like I do. They're all content to work, pay bills, spend a few years pining away, and then die. Sorry - wrong script - I am here for an action movie.

I can certainly help you on your website. Scrap the python, the HTML, the PHP and MySQL. You are looking for results. So am I. I have the answer for you. Divi. Or, they actually call themselves Elegant Themes. I bought the lifetime membership for $240 or so. It's powerful - easy to use - and beautiful. You want RESULTS - remember that! For any custom code you might need, hire it out - but I highly doubt you will ever need any. Youtube has some very extensive videos on how to use it. I'm going through one right now - it's 3 hours. I am going to watch it 3 times, and then I'm going to produce 6 websites - did I say 6 websites? That's production man - that's results! And they're not going to be slacker sites. I also found amazing FREE photos on the web. Check out Pixabay. There you GO. You now can be in the web business within DAYS - not weeks or months. By the way, thanks for the super generous Rep+ - those two pointers will pay you back for that! I tell you, using Divi is like giving a soldier a machine gun. All of a sudden he is kicking a$$ big time. Screw the knife or hand gun approach.

Next.

What you are going through is perfectly normal. Don't sweat it. You're kind of looking at life and thinking there has to be MORE than just this! The smart ones among us all go through that. You are not a follower - you want more. That's very very good, cause you are not going to get it if you don't feel that way! Don't settle! You know why they called the travelers across the old west that stopped in Kansas and Wyoming settlers? Because they stopped and they settled! The ones that didn't found California and lived on a beach - and had vineyards - and convertible sports cars.. and... and... Don't settle!

I just "morphed" a very successful idea that someone else is doing so it can fit my skillset. They are doing a great job of it - and I can't do it as well as they can - so I'm adopting it, but changing it. I say that so if you want ***practical*** advice on any idea, shoot me a PM if you don't want to disclose it to the world. Or post it here - there are many pure genius minds here that can help out. Google it. Try to find something similar that someone else is doing and take it up a notch or two. It's easy really. We have the world at our fingertips with the internet. Use that puppy!

But most importantly of all - do this. You have to feed your brain. Right now you are in a major rut. You are working WAY too much - your dream has tarnished - and you don't see the horizon so clearly anymore. Been there done that. Read books on how to be successful. Every. Day. People feed their bodies every day, but not only do they NOT feed and care for their mental health, but the LET the garbage that we see and hear from ALL directions into our consciousness. Throw OUT what you don't want to think about and replace it with what you do want to think about. Get off your own back - stop feeling weak - stop feeling powerless - stop feeling depressed. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Really!

You. Can. Do. It. Paste some inspirational messages where you see them a lot. I have one in front of me now that says "Change your thoughts and change your World." by Norman Vincent Peale. I have another photo of the Vegas strip at night. These photos/sayings give me a spark of energy. Make me feel good. For a moment or two I feel happy and energized. What am I working for? Well, a Vegas vacation for one. A tropical island for two. My beautiful wife for three. A juicy hamburger in an hour for four... stop me when I get to 100! Seriously - list your assets. You might be surprised at how qualified you really are, and want to hire yourself! It all adds up, and there is no substitute for experience in life. You had so much more spunk when you were in your twenties, right? Me too. But I am so much smarter now - wouldn't want to go back. See? Are you old? Hell no - you have a lot of experience!

Your life. Your move. You have the experience - the intelligence - your health - and the internet. What did your Father have at your age? Exactly. AND you have power and time. And lots of both.

Leo toasting.gif
 

MidwestLandlord

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I've seriously thought about taking advantage of meeting with a psychologist to try and open up a little bit and get a better perspective on things.
Do it.

Seriously.

I did, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life (along with choosing the fastlane and starting testosterone replacement therapy)

I'm a "down to earth" live life based in reality type of guy. A "suck it up" "do what I gotta do" "emotions are for weak people" type of guy.

It was really f*cking hard to admit I needed some help.

I just had to find the right shrink. I ended up with a guy that had no problem standing up to me and pushing back on my bullshit.

"Why the f*ck would you do something like that?" he would often say to me when I talked about a poor decision I made lol (probably sounds horrible, but it's exactly what I needed)

Yet, he was very supportive too. He's 70, I was 33 at the time, so almost like a strong father figure I suppose.

Good stuff. Just know yourself well enough first to find someone that fits your personality.

An example of someone that I didn't see twice, discussing relationships he said to me:

"Sometimes when my wife is cussing at me, or calling me names, I have to stop and think..."what is she really saying here?" "What can I do better?""

NEXT!
 

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