Does anyone REALLY wake up excited in the morning?

[fastlane_dad]

No. To maintain daily focus and high levels of execution, a framework needs to be established beforehand and treated as as an unbreakable rule.

Establish your rules, plan your week beforehand, review the following day before going to sleep and execute the plan the following day. Leave no room for sentiment.

Many threads on planning within the forum and all over the place; the difficult part is choosing a planning/action system that works for you and sticking with it. Best way I found to choose one (after MANY years of trials, errors and adjustments) was taking the Kolbe A test and selecting one that works with my execution style.

In my case, I did @MJ DeMarco's 10/5/1 plan, break down the year into ~four 12week cycles with 3 big intentions (OKRs) and plan my weeks and days in advanced via reverse engineering. I use Airtable and Google calendar to keep myself on track. Don't even think of how I feel when I wake up, I just know that there's things needed to get done.

Do you have a typical script of what your day looks like? What are your non negotiables in your plan? How much room do you leave for error and procrastination? How and when do you measure progress? What IS that progress bar that you are measuring currently?

What line of work are you in? These answers might look VASTLY different for an artist VS. a real estate developer.

 

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[SJuan9]

Do you have a typical script of what your day looks like? What are your non negotiables in your plan? How much room do you leave for error and procrastination? How and when do you measure progress? What IS that progress bar that you are measuring currently?

What line of work are you in? These answers might look VASTLY different for an artist VS. a real estate developer.

Hey, @fastlane_dad, working in the agriculture industry, (10hr/day WFH pesticide consulting/analysis and a second ag-intelligence and farm business). Usual day structure is the same Mon-Thurs (see attached) with a gradual decrease of focused work by year's end (can't keep up this pace forever); Fridays are dedicated to farm work. Sat-Sun are usually free time/family.

Non-negotiables (for me) are sticking to my calendar and a personal DO NOT DO list, which I treat as unbreakable rules. For error and procrastination, I leave unscheduled calendar buffers, sometimes work on weekends, schedule only up to 3 key actions per day, and don't set up too many objectives at once (work on a max of 3 per 12week block). Also do a lot of breathworks and timed work sessions. (Framework)

Measure progress weekly (~30min weekly review/plan session), with a more in-depth quarterly review (~12week block) and yearly review where I look at my 10/5/1. Metrics for progress are based on OKR's (objectives and key results). Objectives are set in the 10/5/1, Key Results for those objectives in the 12week blocks, and the tasks to complete those Key Results are planned each week and executed each day. Progress is measured by hitting/missing Key Results. Adjust along the way as necessary. I use this framework for all my current roles and projects.

One current progress bar (Key Result) that I'm currently measuring is farm business income > WFH analyst work by year's end.

Overall theme is that you wake up each day and don't waste energy thinking about anything or gauging your feelings; instead you get up and start executing a plan you laid out in advance (while in a peak state) with the least amount of friction possible. It may seem tedious when putting together your framework and going through the scheduled planning sessions, but the way you'll end up performing is nothing short of lethal

 

[JJ24]

Does anyone honestly wake up excited in the morning?

If so, what do you do?

I've always felt that this whole "create the life you can't wait to wake up to" is bullshit propagated by self-help gurus and maybe only lived by abnormally happy people who have some kind of a genetic make-up to feel like that most of the time.

I generally wake up happy and excited in the morning.

1. I removed a lot of the stressors from my life. No morning commute. No boss to report to at a certain hour. No need for an alarm clock.
2. Comfortable relationship. Stable and secure living conditions. 12 minutes from a beautiful beach. 2 minutes from a nature reserve. 30 minute drive from a city-center. Warm climate. I make friends at charity events and build a connection around working towards a common mission.
3. I am working on a business that provides me with a lot of positive, encouraging and supportive feedback of my future customers.
4. I eat fairly healthy and found a form of exercise that I enjoy doing.

Sometimes an argument with my partner, a lack of progress on my project, or prolonged periods of bad weather drag me down.

I had some periods of stress when my entire life revolved around having success in my business. But I found a new source of satisfaction when I increased the emphasis on building a deeper relationship with my partner and enjoying experiences with friends.

 

[Two Dog]

Don't even think of how I feel when I wake up, I just know that there's things needed to get done.

That's always been my definition of pro athletes vs. amateur athletes. No one shows up for every game of a career thrilled to spend every single minute playing that night, much less every practice session. You do the same job whether you feel like it or not.

 

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[maximusharrison]

I don't think it's possible to wake up excited every morning, perhaps not even most mornings. However, it happens, and when it does - it's one of the best feelings ever!

 

[mcgarrykt22]

Does anyone honestly wake up excited in the morning?

If so, what do you do?

I've always felt that this whole "create the life you can't wait to wake up to" is bullshit propagated by self-help gurus and maybe only lived by abnormally happy people who have some kind of a genetic make-up to feel like that most of the time.

I do for the most part. If I don't, that usually means that something is off. Not enough sleep, not present and in gratitude, thinking about myself too much...etc. I'm in recovery, so getting a second chance in life has kinda catapulted me into being excited to be alive. Since changing my narrative from the victim to creator of my life, I feel super excited about most days. There's so much to do!!! Time is precious. I would not call myself abnormally happy, though others have described me that way. I would say I'm very present, and very thankful, but I also takes steps everyday to keep the ball rolling.. Any time that I have felt that I am starting to get into Auto pilot.....It's time to shake that up. Learn something new, help someone out with no expectation of a return. Actually the act of getting into service for another human pulls me into reality super quick. Getting up with the sunrise. Inertia had me trapped. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

 

[DuncDad]

Do you take magnesium?

The quality of my sleep if I take it vs don't take it is pretty crazy. I discovered this by accident as I take magnesium for leg cramps.

I have a weekly Epsom Salts bath, high in magnesium, feeling much better for it too

 

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[DuncDad]

The better question would be do you wake up when you want to OR when you have to?

 

[Paul David]

hey @MTF how's things going has much changed?

I guess now's also about the time we also post in your weather thread about how miserable winter is.

I can feel SAD kicking in and clocks going back on Saturday hasn't helped!

NOTABLE! - MINDSET - Has Moving to a Warm and Sunny Climate Made You Happier?

When I’m 85 years old I’m not going to look back on my life and think “Man, I should’ve lived somewhere I would’ve paid less taxes rather than the place I enjoyed most.” This Alex Hormozi quote has really hit home with me lately although I can still enjoy the Irish tax rate if I start an online...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Runum]

Does anyone honestly wake up excited in the morning?

If so, what do you do?

I've always felt that this whole "create the life you can't wait to wake up to" is bullshit propagated by self-help gurus and maybe only lived by abnormally happy people who have some kind of a genetic make-up to feel like that most of the time.

I am not historically a morning person. I would rather stay up all night to see a sunrise then wake up to see a sunrise.

Spending many nights listening and staring at your heart monitor will give you a new perspective on mornings.

Now, each day is a bonus. It's another day filled with opportunities, I can help people see/experience the better side of life, I can share time with friends and make new ones, I can spend some time working on myself. I can try to correct my mistakes from yesterday. I can try again to climb that mountain that is currently challenging me.

When I taught school I was usually excited to see my students everyday. Seeing their excitement about life was contagious.

I am still naturally more of night owl but I am excited to see that sunshine each morning and see what each day brings.

I hope you are doing well @MTF

 

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[MTF]

hey @MTF how's things going has much changed?

I guess now's also about the time we also post in your weather thread about how miserable winter is.

I can feel SAD kicking in and clocks going back on Saturday hasn't helped!

NOTABLE! - MINDSET - Has Moving to a Warm and Sunny Climate Made You Happier?

When I’m 85 years old I’m not going to look back on my life and think “Man, I should’ve lived somewhere I would’ve paid less taxes rather than the place I enjoyed most.” This Alex Hormozi quote has really hit home with me lately although I can still enjoy the Irish tax rate if I start an online...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Thank you for your concern, @Paul David.

For the most part, I've been doing great this year. I had by far the most phenomenal year of travel ever. I skipped all the shitty weather.

I traveled through Australia, New Zealand, Cook Islands and (briefly) Malaysia between January and May so I completely skipped the winter and early spring in Poland. I woke up excited in most places since I could surf, freedive, hike or otherwise explore cool places.

Particularly in Perth (the first destination in January) I felt like I was on some crazy drugs because we flew from the middle of the winter to the middle of the summer (and I also absolutely love Australia).

Since I was in the Southern Hemisphere, I enjoyed summer while it was winter back home. I got back in May and within a week it was summer.

Then I spent the summer in Poland. There were a couple of weeks of bad weather but other than that it was glorious and very enjoyable. I made some great memories.

Then I spent six weeks between September and October in Greece (got back a week and a half ago). There, I focused on training freediving so I looked forward to every morning, too, and woke up excited.

I'm leaving for the Caribbean in a week and will be staying there until mid December (to train freediving again) and going back to Poland for the holidays. After the holidays, sometime in January I'll probably leave again and keep traveling until April/May again.

This is the only way I can feel great year round. I can't imagine being stuck in Poland for a full year again. I didn't feel good after coming back to Poland from Greece since there's very little sunlight here now. But since I'm only here for less than 3 weeks, it's manageable.

Sleep-wise, my sleep quality has also improved but I also made some lifestyle changes to address that.

I am still naturally more of night owl but I am excited to see that sunshine each morning and see what each day brings.

I hope you are doing well @MTF

Thank you for your post. I feel gratitude every day these days but I worked hard to pave new neural pathways and make my brain so comfortable with this feeling that it's its default state

I'm an early riser but find it much easier to get up early in a place with great weather and bright sunshine in the early morning.

 

[emavery176]

Excited - not really. If anything I'm groggy.

Thankful - definitely! It signals that my life journey isn't complete and I have more adventures to uncover.

 

[JordanK]

Thank you for your concern, @Paul David.

For the most part, I've been doing great this year. I had by far the most phenomenal year of travel ever. I skipped all the shitty weather.

I traveled through Australia, New Zealand, Cook Islands and (briefly) Malaysia between January and May so I completely skipped the winter and early spring in Poland. I woke up excited in most places since I could surf, freedive, hike or otherwise explore cool places.

Particularly in Perth (the first destination in January) I felt like I was on some crazy drugs because we flew from the middle of the winter to the middle of the summer (and I also absolutely love Australia).

Since I was in the Southern Hemisphere, I enjoyed summer while it was winter back home. I got back in May and within a week it was summer.

Then I spent the summer in Poland. There were a couple of weeks of bad weather but other than that it was glorious and very enjoyable. I made some great memories.

Then I spent six weeks between September and October in Greece (got back a week and a half ago). There, I focused on training freediving so I looked forward to every morning, too, and woke up excited.

I'm leaving for the Caribbean in a week and will be staying there until mid December (to train freediving again) and going back to Poland for the holidays. After the holidays, sometime in January I'll probably leave again and keep traveling until April/May again.

This is the only way I can feel great year round. I can't imagine being stuck in Poland for a full year again. I didn't feel good after coming back to Poland from Greece since there's very little sunlight here now. But since I'm only here for less than 3 weeks, it's manageable.

Sleep-wise, my sleep quality has also improved but I also made some lifestyle changes to address that.



Thank you for your post. I feel gratitude every day these days but I worked hard to pave new neural pathways and make my brain so comfortable with this feeling that it's its default state

I'm an early riser but find it much easier to get up early in a place with great weather and bright sunshine in the early morning.

The entire post is the definition of FASTLANE living!

 

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[Paul David]

@MTF

When I first started working for Tony (and I think you've heard me tell this story before) I thought I'd stand up in front of a group of people and get EVERYBODY signed up for the seminar with my passion, my story, and my conviction.

Nobody signed up.

I was so upset. There were literally times I would cry because these people would tell me their stories and how rough their life had been and what they had been through -- and I *KNEW* I had the solution but I just couldn't get them to sign up. In fact, I would often offer to PAY for these people to go -- and they still wouldn't go!

I was depressed daily. I started to develop beliefs that said things like "Even if I beg people, they won't change their lives" and "I was never going to make an impact on the world" and "I should just give up."

I learned a simple phrase that saved me: HILA.

"High Intention, Low Attachment"

Give it your all, do your best, but do NOT be attached to the outcome.

To quote an old book "do not cast your pearls before swine"

I'd say cast your pearls to everyone. Let them decide whether it's valuable.

@Kung Fu Steve do you have any books or youtube videos you can recommend on this subject? It's definitely the reason why I don't look forward to getting up in the morning when I'm doing outreach for new clients. Hearing no's mean I just stop what I'm doing and procrastinate.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

@Kung Fu Steve do you have any books or youtube videos you can recommend on this subject? It's definitely the reason why I don't look forward to getting up in the morning when I'm doing outreach for new clients. Hearing no's mean I just stop what I'm doing and procrastinate.

I have a lot of thoughts on the subject... and if I shared them all here, we'd be here for hours.

Here's the answer to your question:

Levels of Energy has been an incredible read. I've listened to the audio 10 times or so now.

From an emotional and strategic standpoint, outbound sucks.

Years ago at the summit with MJ and the crew, someone asked a question about outbound and cold-calling and we were all supposed to answer as a panel and MJ is like "it sucks, that's dumb" ...everyone else said the same thing... but for me cold calling for Tony led me to anywhere from 10-150k in sales every single week... so it was hard to give it up.

And I can't tell you -- as a full grown man -- how many days I just cried after making 200 cold calls every day wondering what was wrong with me, what I was doing with my life, why I sucked so much -- on and on and on...

Which seems a little out-of-place working for *THE* motivational guy.

But that's the thing about business, right? Someone can say "I've found the answer! Just do THIS and you'll be successful" and then someone else comes along saying the exact opposite and they're twice as successful... easy to get distracted.

Would I recommend outbound today? Absolutely not.

There are better ways to do it.

Would I do it if I absolutely had to? Sure. I'm probably one of the best in the world at cold calling... but I would probably shoot myself within a week or two.

 

[Paul David]

I have a lot of thoughts on the subject... and if I shared them all here, we'd be here for hours.

Here's the answer to your question:

Levels of Energy has been an incredible read. I've listened to the audio 10 times or so now.

From an emotional and strategic standpoint, outbound sucks.

Years ago at the summit with MJ and the crew, someone asked a question about outbound and cold-calling and we were all supposed to answer as a panel and MJ is like "it sucks, that's dumb" ...everyone else said the same thing... but for me cold calling for Tony led me to anywhere from 10-150k in sales every single week... so it was hard to give it up.

And I can't tell you -- as a full grown man -- how many days I just cried after making 200 cold calls every day wondering what was wrong with me, what I was doing with my life, why I sucked so much -- on and on and on...

Which seems a little out-of-place working for *THE* motivational guy.

But that's the thing about business, right? Someone can say "I've found the answer! Just do THIS and you'll be successful" and then someone else comes along saying the exact opposite and they're twice as successful... easy to get distracted.

Would I recommend outbound today? Absolutely not.

There are better ways to do it.

Would I do it if I absolutely had to? Sure. I'm probably one of the best in the world at cold calling... but I would probably shoot myself within a week or two.

Yes I'm never doing cold calling, there's no point in pretending otherwise. Especially with my strong local accent.

I still get the same feelings though doing any outreach, cold email, etc. Where I tend to procrastinate instead of doing the actual thing of getting more clients.

Would be nice to get into the high intent low attachment zone like a robot instead of placing so much of the outcome into my thoughts.

 

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[IceCreamKid]

I still get the same feelings though doing any outreach, cold email, etc. Where I tend to procrastinate instead of doing the actual thing of getting more clients.

Would be nice to get into the high intent low attachment zone like a robot instead of placing so much of the outcome into my thoughts.

I manage a small team of outbound sales reps and honestly I wouldn't recommend it because the competition is insane today compared to just 5 years ago. With A.I. and all the automation tools it's ridiculously hard to stand out in a noisy arena unless your offer is very compelling.

As a result, I'm seeing more companies going with a hybrid inbound/outbound go-to-market strategy. I can go really deep on this one, but don't wait to derail the spirit of this thread.

Outbound takes a lot of time to get a good grasp of. Your journey will usually look like this:

1. I suck at this
2. I'm getting decent at this
3. I'm the king of this
4. No wait, I still suck
5. Alright I don't suck as much anymore
6. I'm doing okay now

 

[Paul David]

I manage a small team of outbound sales reps and honestly I wouldn't recommend it because the competition is insane today compared to just 5 years ago. With A.I. and all the automation tools it's ridiculously hard to stand out in a noisy arena unless your offer is very compelling.

As a result, I'm seeing more companies going with a hybrid inbound/outbound go-to-market strategy. I can go really deep on this one, but don't wait to derail the spirit of this thread.

Outbound takes a lot of time to get a good grasp of. Your journey will usually look like this:

1. I suck at this
2. I'm getting decent at this
3. I'm the king of this
4. No wait, I still suck
5. Alright I don't suck as much anymore
6. I'm doing okay now

Yes I hear you.

Keeping in touch with the thread theme I don't look forward to waking up and doing outreach. I enjoy providing the results I give to clients but not the actual outreach part.

I'm a massive fan of AI and automation to be honest and my core offer actually uses those systems.

Guess I need to double down on creating automated systems for the outreach part.

Due to lack of cash I can't outsource this at the moment so its just me, me and me at the moment ha.

 

[DonyaSze]

Does anyone honestly wake up excited in the morning?

If so, what do you do?

I've always felt that this whole "create the life you can't wait to wake up to" is bullshit propagated by self-help gurus and maybe only lived by abnormally happy people who have some kind of a genetic make-up to feel like that most of the time.

I wake up excited on most days I get to work on my goals.

For instance, this morning I was so excited to work on my dream that I got out of bed at like 12:00 am. That’s not recommended, but the drive I get from being excited about life is unreal.

I’m not successful yet, and I’ve failed a lot, but I beleive in my dream so I’m excited aww yissss!

 

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[ALL$NTMC]

I start the day with a nice routine meditation, visualizing, and then exercising. The mind body and soul are one and if you work on these things it naturally leads to ease in ALL areas of life!

Does anyone honestly wake up excited in the morning?

If so, what do you do?

I've always felt that this whole "create the life you can't wait to wake up to" is bullshit propagated by self-help gurus and maybe only lived by abnormally happy people who have some kind of a genetic make-up to feel like that most of the time.

 

[DoTheWork]

I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I wake up excited pretty much every day, despite feeling like I am hungover and hit by a train from my health condition in the mornings. I'm always just so excited to work on my business projects and spend more time awake.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Yes I'm never doing cold calling, there's no point in pretending otherwise.

Nothing wrong with that.

Especially with my strong local accent.

But this is complete B.S. (belief systems)

Would be nice to get into the high intent low attachment zone like a robot instead of placing so much of the outcome into my thoughts.

Woah, woah, woah.

Hang on hurricane, slow down tsunami, take it easy tornado.

If you think "High Intention, Low Attachment" means act like a robot -- you're very, very far off.

Your emotions are what allow you to connect. All sales is simply a transference of emotion. Particularly the emotion of certainty. If you LACK emotion, if you LACK empathy -- you'll NEVER influence anyone to do anything.

If sales aren't going well for you, the root cause is because of the emotion you're transferring. We can smell neediness and desperation from miles away.

The idea of low attachment is not to become a sociopath but to let go of the desperate need for acceptance because sales for 99.9% of people is not really about the money... they believe it's a reflection of their self-worth.

You have the tendency to think (and feel) that if someone is rejecting my OFFER, they are rejecting ME.

The two greatest fears: I'm not enough and if I'm not enough, I won't be loved.

Put any of these hardcore sales guys who claim to be so macho and masculine in a tough sales environment and they all crumble. They all cry (whether they admit to it or not). Because no matter how hard we try, we can kill the positive emotions we feel but we CAN'T kill the negative ones.

That's what acting like a robot means. You kill your positivity in the hopes you CAN kill your negativity (you can't).

What I'm suggesting is learn how to have HIGH INTENTION -- give it your ALL. All your emotion, all your communication skills, all your effort... and LOW ATTACHMENT -- that you don't NEED the sale, you don't NEED the acceptance.

You've heard "you can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves."

If you want it for them MORE than they want it for themself, you are the neurotic, overly attached girlfriend and so you bend over backwards to try to get them to love you without realizing that pushes them further and further away.

 

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[Nikkko]

I pretty much feel like dog-poop everytime I wake up due to that stingy iPhone alarm. After a bath I do feel energetic, and what I would say is, I feel like I-want-to-make-my-day-productive-esque-vibe, which luckily, I execute, and it became a good habit of mine!

 

[Paul David]

Nothing wrong with that.



But this is complete B.S. (belief systems)



Woah, woah, woah.

Hang on hurricane, slow down tsunami, take it easy tornado.

If you think "High Intention, Low Attachment" means act like a robot -- you're very, very far off.

Your emotions are what allow you to connect. All sales is simply a transference of emotion. Particularly the emotion of certainty. If you LACK emotion, if you LACK empathy -- you'll NEVER influence anyone to do anything.

If sales aren't going well for you, the root cause is because of the emotion you're transferring. We can smell neediness and desperation from miles away.

The idea of low attachment is not to become a sociopath but to let go of the desperate need for acceptance because sales for 99.9% of people is not really about the money... they believe it's a reflection of their self-worth.

You have the tendency to think (and feel) that if someone is rejecting my OFFER, they are rejecting ME.

The two greatest fears: I'm not enough and if I'm not enough, I won't be loved.

Put any of these hardcore sales guys who claim to be so macho and masculine in a tough sales environment and they all crumble. They all cry (whether they admit to it or not). Because no matter how hard we try, we can kill the positive emotions we feel but we CAN'T kill the negative ones.

That's what acting like a robot means. You kill your positivity in the hopes you CAN kill your negativity (you can't).

What I'm suggesting is learn how to have HIGH INTENTION -- give it your ALL. All your emotion, all your communication skills, all your effort... and LOW ATTACHMENT -- that you don't NEED the sale, you don't NEED the acceptance.

You've heard "you can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves."

If you want it for them MORE than they want it for themself, you are the neurotic, overly attached girlfriend and so you bend over backwards to try to get them to love you without realizing that pushes them further and further away.

Thanks Steve, makes a lot more sense now.

 

[Devilery]

I haven't woken up feeling excited for a looong time, and it used to be a problem that I was frustrated with but I've "evolved" since then. Happiness should be a byproduct, not a purpose or a goal.

You take meaningful actions to create the impact you believe is necessary, and you may receive happy chemicals in return but even if you don't, it's still worth doing because the impact is bigger than you. E.g. if I can create plant-based products that are viable alternatives to animal-based products, I don't care if I'm happy because I'd rather not be and save animals from industrial farming.

From a different perspective, happiness is not that complex. Unhappiness is caused by wanting something whether that's a feeling, object, ability to do certain things, etc. So, you could instead of trying to want and get all these "things", devote your life to spiritual development and want nothing but the necessities. That's a path to happiness, the less you want, the easier it is to be happy. 90% of the things 90% of the people want are BS* anyway (based on subjective opinion). As cheesy as it sounds, just trust the Universe and don't put things in "good/bad", you're just energy passing through temporarily, it's all ego BS*. Once you realize that you're not a human, but you "have" a human, you can be free (although it still requires discipline and consistent actions- the hard part).

Rent is expensive? Move. Weather sucks? Move. Want a new designer fashion piece? Realize they mean as much as you say they do. Work for 5 years in 2 jobs (sure, building a business would be a far better strategy), buy a tiny house in South America or SEA, figure out how to make $2000 a month and you'll be far happier than people grinding 9-5 their entire lives making 5 or even 10X of that.

The happiest I ever was when I was meditating 2 hours a day, running, swimming, cycling, working part-time in a warehouse, and studying full-time, and I wanted nothing but to do sports for hours daily, go to thrift store weekly, advance spiritually, and go out with new people every week. I was genuinely happy because I had to do so little (work 3 days a week 6 am to 2 pm) to be free, and my freedom was cheap - a bike, running shoes, healthy food, and going out once a week.

Now, I want a mansion, preferably multiple, I want sports cars (many), I want to live in the most expensive cities in the world, and I want to have more money than I know what to do with. I am fine with working every day from morning till evening. I can't spend 2 hours tanning at the beach because I feel like I'm wasting time.

I want to make an impact that will be remembered after I die. I don't ever intend to shift my priorities but I also know that this path will never grant me as much happiness as being that hippie guy in his early 20s treating every moment as a gift from the Universe. F*ck, I make about 5X as much as the average salary in my home country, I could automate a few things and do whatever I want, but no, I have decided to want 50X more, but once I reach 50X, I'll probably spend the rest of my life going for 500X.

Contentness > happiness.

 

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[Paul David]

Nothing wrong with that.



But this is complete B.S. (belief systems)



Woah, woah, woah.

Hang on hurricane, slow down tsunami, take it easy tornado.

If you think "High Intention, Low Attachment" means act like a robot -- you're very, very far off.

Your emotions are what allow you to connect. All sales is simply a transference of emotion. Particularly the emotion of certainty. If you LACK emotion, if you LACK empathy -- you'll NEVER influence anyone to do anything.

If sales aren't going well for you, the root cause is because of the emotion you're transferring. We can smell neediness and desperation from miles away.

The idea of low attachment is not to become a sociopath but to let go of the desperate need for acceptance because sales for 99.9% of people is not really about the money... they believe it's a reflection of their self-worth.

You have the tendency to think (and feel) that if someone is rejecting my OFFER, they are rejecting ME.

The two greatest fears: I'm not enough and if I'm not enough, I won't be loved.

Put any of these hardcore sales guys who claim to be so macho and masculine in a tough sales environment and they all crumble. They all cry (whether they admit to it or not). Because no matter how hard we try, we can kill the positive emotions we feel but we CAN'T kill the negative ones.

That's what acting like a robot means. You kill your positivity in the hopes you CAN kill your negativity (you can't).

What I'm suggesting is learn how to have HIGH INTENTION -- give it your ALL. All your emotion, all your communication skills, all your effort... and LOW ATTACHMENT -- that you don't NEED the sale, you don't NEED the acceptance.

You've heard "you can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves."

If you want it for them MORE than they want it for themself, you are the neurotic, overly attached girlfriend and so you bend over backwards to try to get them to love you without realizing that pushes them further and further away.

I've been thinking about this Steve.

If I had a business partner and we shared an office and both we're doing outreach to find new clients I think I'd get a lot more done and it wouldn't bother me getting rejected or doing the outreach. I don't want a business partner but why do you think I feel like that?

Is it because I feel victimised sitting at home in my office when someone says no to my offer? That's the only thing I can think off as to why I wouldn't be as bothered if someone said no if I was sitting in a shared office.

Same for contacting larger companies in my niche, as I'm sitting here looking at how big they are I suppose I'm thinking there's no way they would be interested in what I'm selling, or there's no way my email is going to be routed to the correct person.

The only thing I can liken it to is sports. I follow football in the UK (soccer to you) and in the past I've been on holiday in a bar watching the game and my team has lost and there's lots of other fans of other teams in the bar (not mine), when we lose I feel victimised whereas if there was a good few fans of my team in the same bar I wouldn't feel that. I guess because we're all in the same boat.

Of course it's all in my head I know that.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

I've been thinking about this Steve.

If I had a business partner and we shared an office and both we're doing outreach to find new clients I think I'd get a lot more done and it wouldn't bother me getting rejected or doing the outreach. I don't want a business partner but why do you think I feel like that?

Expectations.

You would probably feel guilty if someone was sitting next to you working and you weren't. You probably wouldn't have the same stigmas if you got hung up on -- you could laugh it off with someone in the trenches with you.

Is it because I feel victimised sitting at home in my office when someone says no to my offer? That's the only thing I can think off as to why I wouldn't be as bothered if someone said no if I was sitting in a shared office.

Victimized is a strong word with a lot of presuppositions to it. Maybe there's a better word to describe it?

Same for contacting larger companies in my niche, as I'm sitting here looking at how big they are I suppose I'm thinking there's no way they would be interested in what I'm selling, or there's no way my email is going to be routed to the correct person.

Larger companies still have humans working in them, thus, people who still want your stuff.

I'm finding my sweet spot of companies between $3-50 million/year for consulting. Bigger than that I have to deal with 20 decision-makers, an obnoxious board, and interdepartmental fighting. Gross.

To say they wouldn't want it is just a limiting belief.

To not WANT to deal with those people... well -- that's where I'm at in my career.

And that is based on experience, not judgment or made-up beliefs.

I simply asked, "if I could only get paid if I got them the result I promised, who would be the easiest person to get the result for?" and started doing that.

But there are two talk tracks here: one about psychology and beliefs and another about strategy.

The only thing I can liken it to is sports. I follow football in the UK (soccer to you) and in the past I've been on holiday in a bar watching the game and my team has lost and there's lots of other fans of other teams in the bar (not mine), when we lose I feel victimised whereas if there was a good few fans of my team in the same bar I wouldn't feel that. I guess because we're all in the same boat.

Of course it's all in my head I know that.

Football? Like the Kansas City Chiefs!? I done never heard about that soccer thing.

I will NEVER understand sports.

"WE WON, WE WON!"

You didn't do shit. You sat and watched.

I know a few Germans that were depressed for weeks after they lost. Over a stupid game... that literally had nothing to do with them... it's absolute insanity.

But it all ties back to your beliefs and values... you think for some reason your self-worth is tied to a bunch of pansies kicking around a ball for millions of dollars.

Or here in the States, a bunch of fat dudes in tights touching each other for millions of dollars...

I've learned to let go of my judgment of what other people like/are entertained by -- but it does get absolutely insane when any of us step back and actually look at our hobbies. But we're human. So -- enjoy what you will... just don't be silly about it.

 

[amp0193]

I learned a simple phrase that saved me: HILA.

"High Intention, Low Attachment"


Give it your all, do your best, but do NOT be attached to the outcome.

Love the phrase. I didn't have words for it, but this describes the mindset shift I had a few months ago.

There was a period of a year or two where I felt beat down. Was busting my a$$, but the results weren't materializing like I wanted. For the first time in a long time I was failing and there was a big disconnect between expectation and reality. Things were spiraling out of my grasp.

Chalk it up to inexperience, poor decision making, and a little bad luck too.


But then I spent some time thinking over the worst case scenarios. And none of them were really all that bad, and all even had a silver lining to them. Being able to accept and live with those outcomes was freeing.

I then reflected back at this wild entrepreneurial journey with appreciation and gratitude that my life has taken me where it has. What an opportunity it is to be in the position I'm in.

And then I realized that the biggest source of my anxiety was the lack of a strategic plan. Somewhere along the way I stopped thinking big. Stopped dreaming. Stopped creating. The world had beat me down, and I just came to subconsciously accept that I was stuck in a downward spiral and success was beyond my reach.

So I made a plan. SWOT analysis. After 6 years, surely this company has Strengths and resources we can tap and build off of (it does). And look at that, still plenty of Opportunities. Threats? Let's mitigate the F*ck out of them and stop helplessly waiting for the doomsday to come when they wipe us out.

Are there days where I feel overwhelmed with indecision, and it feels difficult to take action, sure.

But more often than not, I can't wait to get in there each morning and make things happen. Building, creating. Making things better. Designing scalable systems. A solid few hours each morning before the emails/employees/meetings/appointments take over. I love getting lost in the work each morning now.

But I'm no longer very attached to the outcome and it doesn't define my self worth.

 

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