Dating.....Fastlane style!!

[Guest3722A]

Okay guys I'm gonna make this really quick...

Slowlane dating = meet someone at work, in a bar or other place of business, or, through a friend

Fastlane dating = going to a worldwide free dating site like plentyoffish.com and putting a profile up, w/ photo, and then setting you parameters of what type of person you're interested in, along with how far away these people live from you, and as soon as you get a list, start shooting off 20-30 private messages a night for a week or two strait. As in sales, it's all a numbers game because out of the couple hundred messages you send out, I guarantee you'll get quite a few responses, and from those responses, I guarantee you'll get a few phone convo's, and from those few phone convo's, you'll get a few dates. After doing this for a while you most likely will have times with a different date a night and sometimes two or three, and eventually you may find someone you're really interested in, as I have, but if anything, I guarantee your confidence and self-esteem will be catapulted! :smxG::smxG: :smxG::smxF:

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Agree, definitely a numbers game, or at the very least, a very fun diversion. The founder of POF is a great entrepreneur story as well.

 

[theBiz]

Everyone here will agree im sure, the reason we are all here in the first place is we have one thing in common. We all want more options. Money brings more options.

 

[mtnman]

Actually there is an autobahn lane here, a super fastlane if you will.

I believe kenric, grenade chaser, and I were discussing this at B&P... develop dating site, markov your profile, dynamically match to each new member that fits your criteria, and send over as a "Top Match" immediately upon sign up.

Wam bam thank you mam that'll be 4mm please...



ps- when you get bored of rakin in the dough, and women, you can sell these "slots" lol... bye bye millionaire match maker!!!

 

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[Guest3722A]

Actually there is an autobahn lane here, a super fastlane if you will.

I believe kenric, grenade chaser, and I were discussing this at B&P... develop dating site, markov your profile, dynamically match to each new member that fits your criteria, and send over as a "Top Match" immediately upon sign up.

Wam bam thank you mam that'll be 4mm please...



ps- when you get bored of rakin in the dough, and women, you can sell these "slots" lol... bye bye millionaire match maker!!!

How about a site for the special needs? Call it "Specialneedswithspecialneeds.com? Sorry that was bad...

 

[lexingtonjames]

Instead of emailing 200 different random types of women hoping for a response, why not just figure out the type you are interested in.

Chill around those areas and just put yourself in situations where you end up interacting.

It is okay to be a man and approach random women, they'll probably appreciate the masculine energy if you emit it. What's the worst that could happen, she says "No."?

Exchange under 5 mins of communication, get the email or number, and get out of there.

So, if you like the intellectual type of woman, go to the Library. If you like women that play tennis, go to the Sports Authority. If you like the kind that want to be rich, go to the Fastlane Forums.

Just go out and meet women. I bet if you go out and create sessions out of this in like 3-4 hour blocks, do it 7 days straight, and you'll have more women than you can think of to call.

Make it a hobby or maybe a lifestyle. How about make a goal to befriend 3 women on a long-term basis. I bet you find they will just bring more women into your environment. It's like the Master-Mind formula from Napoleon Hill.

 

[Russ H]

Instead of emailing 200 different random types of women hoping for a response, why not just figure out the type you are interested in.

Chill around those areas and just put yourself in situations where you end up interacting.

It is okay to be a man and approach random women, they'll probably appreciate the masculine energy if you emit it. What's the worst that could happen, she says "No."?

Exchange under 5 mins of communication, get the email or number, and get out of there.

So, if you like the intellectual type of woman, go to the Library. If you like women that play tennis, go to the Sports Authority. If you like the kind that want to be rich, go to the Fastlane Forums.

Just go out and meet women. I bet if you go out and create sessions out of this in like 3-4 hour blocks, do it 7 days straight, and you'll have more women than you can think of to call.

Make it a hobby or maybe a lifestyle. How about make a goal to befriend 3 women on a long-term basis. I bet you find they will just bring more women into your environment. It's like the Master-Mind formula from Napoleon Hill.

Some real problems w/this approach (but hey, it's what worked for the past few thousand years, so it's not all bad):

Aside from your fastlane forums comment, every other recommendation is limited to people who are in your vicinity.

And to people whom you see w/your eyes (assuming you are not blind)-- so you make judgements based on appearance.

These judgements will be great for selecting someone who has similar taste in clothes (or wears things you like). And they'll also be great for finding someone to procreate with-- ie, it is assumed you only approach people whom you find physically attractive.

As I mentioned earlier, this is a GREAT approach for making babies, since it's based on physical attraction.

But for me, it was a very, very frustrating way to choose a life partner.

Thing is, I always went out w/women I thought were hot (very physically attractive). Model types, or very athletic.

And while some of them were really nice people (some were not), I never found anyone who could hold my interest for long.

So after 25 years of having fun, I realized:

Looks ≠ Long term interest

(at least for me).

Like some anal retentive OCDs, I had made mental lists of what my "perfect soulmate" would be:

-sexy
-into the outdoors
-head for numbers ('cause I do, and love that in a friend)
-workaholic (again, b/c *I* love this, and wanted someone around me who enjoyed it, too)

. . . and other things (likes the same music, literature, movies, food, yada yada).

*********

Never even got close.

Went out w/lots of sexy ladies, b/c that was my first criterion: I never got to know anyone first. I always *saw* their bodies before I learned about how their minds worked.

And yes, Lex, I met my share of sexy ladies that I crossed off my list within minutes of meeting them-- but it didn't change the fact that I felt more and more frustrated.

Frustrated at not being able to find a life partner by looks first.

So I thought about that.

How in the heck could I meet someone -- and learn about them-- by NOT looking at them? By NOT having the physical/chemistry thing going on?

Answer: Online. Or in (blech!) the personals ads.

Back then (mid to late 1990s), my impression was that personals-- both in papers and online--were pretty much for losers. People who had some fatal flaw that made them un-dateable.

That's actually true for a significant percentage of folks that do this (found this out the hard way): Lots of gals I dated this way were damaged goods. Had major baggage from all the guys that had f*cked them up earlier (beating them, verbally abusing them, or just being total sh*ts).

Kinda blew my mind, actually. Had no idea there were so many guys that did this kind of crap.

On the other side of the coin, tho', I was just hearing one side of the story. So chances were good at least of few of these ladies just had major unresolved issues-- things they needed to work out, but weren't. So they were angry, or afraid, or just messed up.

**********

My solution was (at the time) pretty radical: Get to know people online, write to them A LOT before meeting them, ask them LOTS of very personal questions (in a nice way), and, if things progressed, meet them and see what happened.

(yes, very much like the OP, topherea, suggests!)

Since everything was written (and there are few/no taboos for writing to more than one person at once), I often was corresponding with up to half a dozen ladies at the same time. Within a few weeks (and 40,000 words-- no lie-- back and forth between us), I had learned more about each person than I would have in 2 years of dating.

For some reason, once someone feels secure w/you online, they're willing to share things-- pretty private things--- that they'd NEVER do if they met you in person.

This was GOLD for me.

Allowed me to really dig deep and find out LOTS about the people I was interested in.

And while it took a LOT of time writing back and forth, it allowed me to evaluate potential mates MUCH FASTER-- and with more purpose-- than I'd ever done before.

Those of you who know me know the rest.

I've been married for 7+ years to a great lady who found me online (yeah, how ironic is that-- I was the one going out and doing this, and she'd come up w/the same idea!).

We are soul mates. Business partners. Buddies. Bedmates.

And we love doing things together. All kinds of things.

In our time together, we've had one little one (who is now 3 going on 4), and have built up about $4 million in wealth (she has an accounting degree).

All this in less than 10 years.

We both share the same mindset.

But she doesn't like the same books, music, or movies I do.

Turns out I was making the wrong list.

-Russ H.

 

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[Rem]

If it's female and walks then I'm game. haha

In all seriousness I dated this girl in college who was completely dependent on me for everything. I thought I would like that. I paid for everything, ordered her food at restaurants, held doors for her and even had to pump her gas.

Then one day I just got sick of it. I was tired of waiting on her and doing everything. I realized she was completely useless besides the good sex.

After we broke up I met some women but a lot seemed to be the same. Then I met my wife. When I first met her she had a power tool in her hand. I was instantly in love. She and I started dating and then she changed the alternator in my jeep as a surprise gift. I knew right then and there I was marrying her.

She and I will race to a door. I race so I can get there to open it for her and she races so I don't have to open it for her. The more independent women are the better. She buys her own crap and I buy my own. She gets her own car fixed when it needs something and I get my own car fixed.

I think it's quality of quantity. The more you date the better odds you will find someone of quality but be careful not to swim in the same swimming pool of all gold fish or all one type of fish. You need to swim in different swimming pools. If you are swimming in a pool of 200 guppies there is no variety.

 

[Guest3722A]

Instead of emailing 200 different random types of women hoping for a response, why not just figure out the type you are interested in.

Lex, first off, what's been up man -I hope things have been going good!:cheers: Hey check this out... if you have the time and energy and aren't seeing someone at the moment, I invite you and anyone else to conduct a simple and truly fun experiment and follow exactly what I typed above. The only catch is, instead of putting the game on, be completely honest with the people who respond. Tell it like it is. Be yourself and show who you really are. Nothing to lose. I say this because in my experience with meeting women around town that appeared to be interesting and had a mutual attraction to me, it got old fast because it was all about game, and not truth. I eventually grew past that way of dating and opened my mind and tried something different. I adapted. Not saying that I didn't start with alot of game with the internet dating, but after a while of craziness and endless variety I realized that when I finally put on my profile that I was sick of booty calls and that I was looking for something honest and long-term, I started meeting "real" people with goals, responsibility, and ambitions, other than gaming. And a little fyi, fwiw, I was the guy who could go into even a strip club and get free!! dances and many times after their shift I... uh well... tmi? My point being I'm ugly enough that strippers want to dance for me for free!

 

[Luke12321]

I have just used some of these free sites.

My experience, it is very effective. Shoot a few messages, exchange phone, meet up. You can be picky...I did this at first. Only go after "10's" which is cool...it was fun. Most of them was younger than I, so we only had so much in common. (sex drive and well, that was it)

I also have dated women older than me and that was an experience in itself too (to say the very least) lol. Easier to talk to but honestly...I could never bring some chick 10 years old than I home to my parents! I am 24...it would just be too big of shock. I agree with Russ, it is really amazing how much crap women who are on dating services have usually went through. Maybe all have been....but if you are online then you feel more comfortable being open?

I just got out of a relationship with a girl my age (who I didn't meet online) and it was what Rem was speaking off. Did everything for her but her outlook on life didn't match mine, which is something I am finding a hard time with right now. Maybe it is a sign of the times or something but all chicks I meet seem pretty content with being in debt up to the eye balls and grinding it out 40 hours a week. :shruggie:

 

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[lexingtonjames]

Russ... Top. Glad to hear that these cyber tools are working for you guys. I didn't know you could be so successful with Online Dating. I'm going to have to check that out.

I have no Girl Friends or Wife I met Online through Craig's List or Plenty Of Fish. So, here is a little pf my offline game:

 

[Icy]

Kind of off topic but still ties in a bit with what Russ was talking about.

It's amazing that when you remove appearance and what not out of the equation for a first impression you truly learn about people.

Honestly, my 2 closest friends I first talked to online for a while before meeting them in person (went to same school but some how never saw each other...). Online you talk to the person because you enjoy it, and not because of the feeling you "have to" that happens that you've acted more like friends than acquaintances to in person.

One of them moved away at the beginning of high school and meeting 4 years later there almost wasn't a pause in the conversation. On the contrary I've had friends where even not seeing each other for a few months can leave an awkward silence.

Talking online allows a much more care-free openness that I don't even come close to in person. Because of this you can get a true understand of the person you're talking to and not the "normal" personality we try to put on out in person.

The openness is in the posts also. I would probably not talk about this sort of thing in person just because it's still kind of a thing looked down on. I remember talking to a real life friend about some experience or something from a friend from the Netherlands. Once I brought up I've never met him in person the conversation took an awkward turn (can't really express what I mean in words..). Even though I met the guy in an online game I'd frankly trust him more than many people I know in person.

So the ability to just tune out without consequence other people without a personality the "clicks" allows you to be open and get a true understanding of people online.

 

[Anon3587x]

It seems some of my truest friends were met playing online video games.
Maybe this has something to do with the fact we can type faster then we can talk, and the privacy of the internet gives you a "security blanket"

Jim Morrison of The Doors once said he would be to shy to say his lyrics the way he does if he did not have his band behind him making noise.
Giving him a "Security Blanket"

 

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[Russ H]

Russ... Top. Glad to hear that these cyber tools are working for you guys. I didn't know you could be so successful with Online Dating. I'm going to have to check that out.

I have no Girl Friends or Wife I met Online through Craig's List or Plenty Of Fish. So, here is a little pf my offline game:

Lex-

Yer provin' my point, man.

I got rid of the photos and vids when I started looking for a life partner, but I went out w/some very nice eye candy in my day.

Smart, too.

All you posted was what these ladies look like.

What did you tell us about them?

Nothing.

Posting it this way makes it look like your FIRST CRITERION is APPEARANCE.

In fact, since you didn't say anything about these ladies at all, I wonder if looks are more than just a first measure for you? If so, why didn't you tell us anything about these women?

Imagine if you posted the same pic and said something like:

Russ... Top. Glad to hear that these cyber tools are working for you guys. I didn't know you could be so successful with Online Dating. I'm going to have to check that out.

I have no Girl Friends or Wife I met Online through Craig's List or Plenty Of Fish. But here's a bit about a few people who I hang out with these days:

These are the ladies in my mastermind group:

First on the left is Gloria. She's a software engineer at Microsoft (actually has a few patents). Works from home. She moonlights on the side building directory sites and generating lists she sells to other email marketers. The $$$ she gets at her MS job (low six figures) she puts into VC stuff-- financing start-ups and getting stock options. One of her ventures is set to go IPO later this year. If it does as expected, she'll be able to cash out next year, if she wants, even w/the higher capital gains penalties.

Next lady in is Jennifer (to my right). She owns a small accounting firm (5 CPAs & 4 others). She has an MBA but her BS is in accounting. She's working on a franchise model for working with small business owners who want to grow their businesses 10-20% per year for 10 years, training their staffs to eventually buy them out. It's an interesting model, and she's got some very clever twists to this approach.

Then there's me.

To my left (far right in the photo) is Mary. She's pretty much retired. Started her first online business when she was 14. Sold a different online biz for $500K before she left for college. So why did she go to Yale? She did it for the networking. Can you believe it? Funded the whole thing from her paper assets, and built a few more online businesses while in college. She now sits on the BOD for a few non-profits and one Fortune 500 company. And yes, all of these positions came through fellow Yalies!

Mentoring is her passion, though. She's currently doing a lot of third world micro loans-- she's one of the feeders for Kiva. Her big thing is she doesn't loan the money unless she can get feedback and give input. She has a whole 501c3 dedicated to this.

So these are the people I hang with in our mastermind. Each one of us brings something different to the party. And we all benefit from the synergy.

See my point?

These ladies in your photo may-- or may not be-- what I've described. But by not saying anything about them, you leave us to conclude that they are beautiful ladies, and that you hang w/them for their looks (since that's pretty much all you have shown us about them).

-Russ H.

 

[lexingtonjames]

Russ... why do you assume it is only for appearance brother? This is just some of the game I've achieved from the Offline World.

I don't think about it to much, and I'm not trying to make a science experiment out of it. Let alone complicate it.

Women are already sophisticated enough, I am sure we can all agree! If I complicate it she will just complicate it even more. Just be a man and talk to them like they're women.

Women are smarter than us anyway and will know if we're only hanging around them for a piece of a$$. Trust me, they pick up on that stuff right away!

I am 100% happy for you guys who were successful with the online world. Sounds like we all have a similar state of mind. Just go with the flow and see where it leads you. I got a few PM's about this already asking if I'm into some kind of philosophy or if I'm a guru.

So, what I'm going to do is give you the story of how I met Cami!

Cami is my current girlfriend, I guess. Well, we had similar interests in business and we hit it off right away. I haven't made it official and neither has she but we have been seeing each other for about 3-4 months.

I met her on the train, we instantly hit it off. My train ride was only 2 hours but it was enough to realize she was a talented Entrepreneuress. All that happened on the train ride was we talked about business and life.

At my stop, I was in a hurry to get to my appointment so I kissed her good bye and slipped her my cell # on the back of a Fortune Cookie Horoscope

We didn't talk for a few weeks and I forgot I slipped her my number, she called me after 2 weeks wondering why I had forgotten about her. I said, I didn't... I just wasn't looking for a girl friend or anything right now. Plus, I'm seriously booked for time as it is.

She quickly told me she wasn't looking for a boy friend and wanted to talk business with me. That's what we did and where I left it. We went out a few times and talked about this product and that product, her life and mine, where we were going. Some ideas she had really blew my mind.

After we saw each other a few times and got to know each other for hours and hours is when I guess she finally gave in and said she wanted to stay the night. Pretty sure we hung out about 5 times before anything happened.

Now, we end up just talking and staring into each others eyes for hours. I let her make the moves and decide where she wants to take this. I guess 2 step forward and 1 step back is a good way of looking at it.

Also guys, I have noticed that if you can just chill with a woman one on one like that. They'll more than likely just love your company anyway.

Point is, she made her way to me. I didn't force her into a relationship and she said she respected that. Sure, she is gorgeous but underneath the hood is a brilliant mind.

 

[Guest3722A]

Lex, in noticing the Ampeg and the pa speaker in the background, would it be safe to assume that you're a musician? I ask because all along you kinda reminded me of the vocalist type! I say this and it's funny because many times musician personalities can be identified through the instruments they play. I myself am a drummer and most drummers I know are either out there in left field, like me, or very meticulous and precise. Vocalists many times have a certain primadonna/carefree demeanor, and don't believe that it is their responsibility to move the pa system to the shows, because they don't own it in the first place, or they drink too much! lol Bassists for the most part are the cool ones of the band who can get along with anyone and guitarists are the engineer type who like to tinker.

To get back on topic, you guys look very happy, and your story sincerely is nice man. I don't know you but I'm happy for you. My question though is what if someone works all day trying to build their life and business and have limited time to get out there, and would benefit from a proven system that gets tons of variety to choose from, in the likes of a different 'meeting' every night in person or in "the computer world" which will enable them to filter through hundreds of people, and narrow down their results.

The phone number on the back of a fortune is very romantic, but has a tinge of game to it because you know as well as I know that women love romantic gestures like a number on a fortune, and the shock value will make them remember you. And I still don't see how meeting someone 'by chance' on a train is a fast and effective way for a busy entrepreneur to filter through hundreds of women in a two week period with meaningful and truthful conversations, to narrow down selection.

On top of this, there are people out there who have no game whatsoever but are great people and deserve to be happy, and deserve to have a quality woman in their lives to prove their great achievements to. (also Napoleon Hill:smxB. Some of these great people are lonely and depressed and really could use someone to love them in their lives, but don't know how or where.

To me this conversation is getting old because you haven't proven to me that your style is fastlane, but we can at least both agree to disagree :cheers:.

But to conclude here, check out this inspiring statistic that for millions is a reality:

QUOTE (from plentyoffish.com)

At least 14 million plentyoffish users know at least 1 couple that got married as a result of plentyoffish.

-cheers

 

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[Russ H]

Russ... why do you assume it is only for appearance brother? This is just some of the game I've achieved from the Offline World.

I don't think about it to much, and I'm not trying to make a science experiment out of it. Let alone complicate it.

Women are already sophisticated enough, I am sure we can all agree! If I complicate it she will just complicate it even more. Just be a man and talk to them like they're women.

Women are smarter than us anyway and will know if we're only hanging around them for a piece of a$$. Trust me, they pick up on that stuff right away!

I am 100% happy for you guys who were successful with the online world. Sounds like we all have a similar state of mind. Just go with the flow and see where it leads you. I got a few PM's about this already asking if I'm into some kind of philosophy or if I'm a guru.

Also guys, I have noticed that if you can just chill with a woman one on one like that. They'll more than likely just love your company anyway.

Point is, she made her way to me. I didn't force her into a relationship and she said she respected that. Sure, she is gorgeous but underneath the hood is a brilliant mind.

Lex-

I failed miserably in getting my point across. Sorry if it sounded like I was dogging you. Totally not my intent.

My point was just that you posted a bunch of pix, but didn't tell us *anything* about these ladies. Which lead me to conclude (based on lack of any other info) that you were hangin' w/these gals b/c of their looks (because you didn't mention anything else-- just showed us pix).

Does that make sense?

I think, too, that you "pushed one of my hot buttons"-- I saw something in these pix that reminded me of myself back in the day-- someone who took great pleasure in being around lovely ladies. I'm not talking about doing the nasty (tho' that was fun, too). I just loved being around and talking w/great looking women. Made me feel good.

Thing was, hanging around beautiful women never got me any closer to finding a life partner.

This was very frustrating to me, as I reasoned that, if I went out/hung out w/enough beautiful ladies, sooner or later I'd meet someone who "fit"-- who was a soul mate.

And while I did meet and hook up w/some really amazing women, I just never felt like I had found "the one".

Know what I mean?

I should also mention that for years (decades?)-- from the time I was in my teens until I was in my mid to late 30s-- I really wasn't interested in marriage or raising kids. Just wasn't my thing (and I couldn't see myself as a dad/husband at all-- not ever).

That may be where you are in your life. Or not. I won't make any assumptions-- everyone is wired differently.

The OP for this thread was looking for a "fastlane soul mate" (I think). Someone who could grow with them, in business and in life. That may -- or may not-- include kids, or even marriage. It was more about finding someone w/a similar mindset.

And in that regard, I can say going online (esp to the "not free" sites) was a good use of my time. It was a game-changer for me. Stopped me from looking for eye candy (hey, I still love looking at a beautiful woman)-- and it made me focus on other things: Character, integrity, long term stability-- waaaaay different stuff than I'd ever really looked at before. And not the kind of stuff you usually talk about on a first date!

No question I "met" my share of gals that did not fit-- either me to them, or vice versa. But we "met" online, via emails, and I could live my life (self employed), working my crazy hours/traveling all over the place, and *still* "meet" dozens of potentially good partners (all via email).

This approach took WAY less time (days instead of weeks or months) for each person. And the "break ups" were amicable-- since we'd never met, there was very little heartache involved for either of us.

When things went well, and the emailing got really serious (covering all kinds of sensitive issues, and thoughts/plans for the future), then we'd decide to meet.

In many ways, it was like doing the dating process backwards: Instead of seeing someone and feeling the chemistry (or not), THEN getting to know what they were really like (deep down) over a period of months/years, instead, it went more like: Make polite email introductions, ask them if they were OK w/my approach, then spend a week or two doing some intense emails (lots of writing, but pretty exciting, actually). THEN, if we were still "clicking", we'd set up a meet. And see how it went from there.

I did that process for several years-- emailing dozens of ladies, asking (and sharing) lots of "hard questions", and seeing if we had synergy. I had 2 really serious relationships from it before I met my wife. And it really was all good-- even when things didn't work out, we knew so much about each other that we parted ways on good terms.

Maybe I should post a thread on what I did. I've also gotten my share of PMs re this. It took me a while to refine the process, but I have to say, the results were great: I found a life partner.

But everyone is different-- I'm not here to tell folks what to do. Just share what works for me.

So to conclude, Lex, I wasn't trying to say you were shallow, or a player (well, maybe a bit, since you refer to it as "the game". ). I was trying to call your attention to the fact that your first examples of who you hung out with included nothing about who they were as people-- and that's what made me think that, for you, it was all about looks/appearances.

BTW, you cleared that up when you posted about Cami. Thank you for that.

-Russ H.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

<hijack>

I gotta start hanging out with Lex, not only beautiful women, but women that are my type!! And success stories!! :heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat: Sorry Russ for the temporary hijack!! [And I get your point Russ but I'm a sucker for the brunettes =) ]

</hijack>

 

[Russ H]

<hijack>

I gotta start hanging out with Lex, not only beautiful women, but women that are my type!! :heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat: Sorry Russ for the temporary hijack!!

</hijack>

MJ-

Are you referring to the first ladies Lex posted pix about, or Cami?

-Russ H.

 

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[Russ H]

MJ-

Whups-- got my quesiton answered-- when I first read your post, the photo didn't load.

So you're talking about women who you know nothing about, but find physically attractive.

Fascinating.

-Russ H.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

MJ-

Are you referring to the first ladies Lex posted pix about, or Cami?

-Russ H.

All of them!:smxG:

 

[Russ H]

<hijack>

[And I get your point Russ but I'm a sucker for the brunettes =) ]

</hijack>

FYI, you can "prune" your searches on some of the dating sites for things like entrepreneur, brunette, etc.

(yeah, listen to me, telling this to the guy who runs this entire freaking website. What am I thinking?!)

Still, meeting someone online has its merits. Back when I did it (in the 1990s), the overall sentiment was that online dating was only for losers.

But it's become much more than that. Just another example of how the internet is changing our world.

-Russ H.

PS I don't consider your post a hijack MJ-- quite the contrary-- it's quite on topic!

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

So you're talking about women who you know nothing about, but find physically attractive.

I find them attractive but the information that follows made them MORE ATTRACTIVE:

First on the left is Gloria. She's a software engineer at Microsoft (actually has a few patents). Works from home. She moonlights on the side building directory sites and generating lists she sells to other email marketers. The $$$ she gets at her MS job (low six figures) she puts into VC stuff-- financing start-ups and getting stock options. One of her ventures is set to go IPO later this year. If it does as expected, she'll be able to cash out next year, if she wants, even w/the higher capital gains penalties.

Next lady in is Jennifer (to my right). She owns a small accounting firm (5 CPAs & 4 others). She has an MBA but her BS is in accounting. She's working on a franchise model for working with small business owners who want to grow their businesses 10-20% per year for 10 years, training their staffs to eventually buy them out. It's an interesting model, and she's got some very clever twists to this approach.

To my left (far right in the photo) is Mary. She's pretty much retired. Started her first online business when she was 14. Sold a different online biz for $500K before she left for college. So why did she go to Yale? She did it for the networking. Can you believe it? Funded the whole thing from her paper assets, and built a few more online businesses while in college. She now sits on the BOD for a few non-profits and one Fortune 500 company. And yes, all of these positions came through fellow Yalies!

I wouldn't marry (or even seriously date) a women just on attraction alone. HOTTNESS might get a date, but it doesn't get a 2nd, or a 3rd ... I've dated many HOT women and as soon as they talk, no amount of beauty in the world can change the lack of a connection. If you can't sit at the kitchen table and have a great conversation, there's gonna be trouble ... beauty fades, the connection is the bond that will need to take you through the decades.

 

[lexingtonjames]

I saw your points Russ, I don't like to type out long messages to be honest. Ultimately, I'd say go after what ever makes you happy. I am very happy for you!

 

[Russ H]

I find them attractive but the information that follows made them MORE ATTRACTIVE:

First on the left is Gloria. She's a software engineer at Microsoft (actually has a few patents). Works from home. She moonlights on the side building directory sites and generating lists she sells to other email marketers. The $$$ she gets at her MS job (low six figures) she puts into VC stuff-- financing start-ups and getting stock options. One of her ventures is set to go IPO later this year. If it does as expected, she'll be able to cash out next year, if she wants, even w/the higher capital gains penalties.

Next lady in is Jennifer (to my right). She owns a small accounting firm (5 CPAs & 4 others). She has an MBA but her BS is in accounting. She's working on a franchise model for working with small business owners who want to grow their businesses 10-20% per year for 10 years, training their staffs to eventually buy them out. It's an interesting model, and she's got some very clever twists to this approach.

To my left (far right in the photo) is Mary. She's pretty much retired. Started her first online business when she was 14. Sold a different online biz for $500K before she left for college. So why did she go to Yale? She did it for the networking. Can you believe it? Funded the whole thing from her paper assets, and built a few more online businesses while in college. She now sits on the BOD for a few non-profits and one Fortune 500 company. And yes, all of these positions came through fellow Yalies!

I wouldn't marry (or even seriously date) a women just on attraction alone. HOTTNESS might get a date, but it doesn't get a 2nd, or a 3rd ... I've dated many HOT women and as soon as they talk, no amount of beauty in the world can change the lack of a connection. If you can't sit at the kitchen table and have a great conversation, there's gonna be trouble ... beauty fades, the connection is the bond that will need to take you through the decades.

I totally agree--- the descriptions above are what would make me MUCH more interested in a woman (both for business/masterminding, and on a personal level).

But you musta been skimmin' bud-- these descriptions were completely FAKE-- I made them up to prove a point (that Lex hadn't told us anything about them-- he had only posted photos).

If he HAD posted info about them-- esp like the stuff I wrote (the made-up stuff above), I think many of the single guys on the fastlane would have found them VERY interesting.

Didn't plan to hook you in, MJ, but that kinda proves my point!

-Russ H.

 

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[Zed]

Lex...those are gorgeous ladies. Care to share more tips?

 

[lexingtonjames]

Yeah, I don't know what to say man. I guess I am a natural, after reading all these posts about Online Dating. Always just came second nature to me. Maybe you boys should go out more??

 

[IceCreamKid]

Lex are you Brian McKnight in disguise? I swear you look exactly like him.

 

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[yveskleinsky]

I think a dating site that is somehow tied into a forum is a great idea...in theory. In application...I dunno. Has the potential to make everything really awkward really fast.

...Russ, great post btw. The best relationships I've ever been in were ones that bloomed out of common interests--it's just a matter of finding those people. Easier said than done, even online. I suppose I find "realness" endearing and very sexy--and it's kinda hard to find "realness" when people/men are trying to impress.

...I have one relationship that to this day still sticks in my mind as possibly the best relationship I ever had, and that was with a guy I met while in high school. He asked me if I wanted to go "UFO watching" with him sometime. On the surface, he wasn't my type physically, but I was curious as to what UFO watching was so I went along. He'd packed his car with 2 lawn chairs, a cooler with some drinks and snacks, a flashlight and a baseball bat. (The baseball bat was in case we really encountered some aliens I guess.) He drove us up to a mesa and we set up the lawn chairs, cracked a couple of sodas...and waited...and then got to talking. Next thing I knew, it was after 2am! We had so much fun just hangin' out under starry skies and just talking--we ended up going "UFO watching" almost every weekend for a year--and every weekend we'd go to different places. We dated seriously for a couple of years, and if I hadn't gotten to know him I would have never thought about dating him. I actually came across him on Facebook recently, and we got to talking about what made him think of going UFO watching. He said he was totally broke back then but wanted to take me out--so he had to think of something free...and something that he thought would be fun.

Kinda a rambling story there, but I suppose I just wanted to reiterate Russ' point about getting to know someone past the physical--the same works for women. I know so many guys that feel inferior--that they don't make enough money, or aren't handsome enough, or are somehow lacking--and the realty is that they are awesome guys and have of A+ qualities to offer. So many guys seem to think they need to go to great lengths to impress a girl--often times it's not the case. Most of us women look for guys that are sincere, can make us laugh, can carry on a conversation--and is a hopeless romantic (I hate to admit it, but most of us are.) A good income, a great hairline and a fast car are nice but that's about all they are. Just FYI guys.

 

[lexingtonjames]

yves confirms my point in better words. ha