Could someone kick my a$$ and make me work on my business?

[dev4th]

TLDR: a mediocre student with a comfortable life, already freelancing, want to expand into a business but is lazy and scared. Feel stressed about it. Need advices.

Thanks MJ for this forum!

Hi everyone.

I was born in a middle-class family. I’m in final year at the university. Life is comfortable. I’m living with my parents. If I'm lack of money, my parents help. My parents also cook for me. I don’t have to do chores, either. And I don't socialize much.

I’m doing freelancing in app development and have some clients. It can grow into a business more if I hire others. But I’m lazy and feel anxious.

I have read TFM and Unscripted . I know starting a business can be very rewarding. But again, I don’t have the motivation to work on my business. Even the foundation is there. Even I saw the huge opportunities for new businesses. But NO. Some parts of me want to be an entrepreneur and bring value to millions. Some don’t. The current situation is already good, why bothers (they think).

I WANT TO BREAK.

What should I do to have motivation? Should I move out? I think living with my parents is a reason, because it’s too comfortable, and comfort kills motivation.
Should I join a local entrepreneur community?
Should I do a dopamine fasting?

Thank you for reading all of this.

 

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[BizyDad]

You know the right answers.

Shut up and do it.

 

[MTF]

Nobody can kick your a$$ and make you work on your business.

Entrepreneurs are self-motivated. If you want someone else to kick your a$$, find a boss.

I'm sorry if that's harsh but your life will really suck if you're looking for excuses in your life situation (living with parents), if you need other people to inspire you (a local entrepreneur group) or if you're looking for motivation in today's flavor of a magic self-improvement pill (dopamine fasting).

If you move out, with your current mindset you'll still do the bare minimum.

If you join a local group of entrepreneurs, you'll still waste time but now you'll be able to pretend you're an entrepreneur (and that's even worse).

If you do dopamine fasting or anything else that's supposed to magically change yourself, you'll quickly realize that it has nothing to do with your self-motivation because the problem is way deeper.

I made millions living with my parents and hustling my a$$ off. I actually didn't move out - I made them move out because I could afford to buy them land in the countryside and build their dream house. I didn't need anyone to kick my a$$ to want to improve my life and (more importantly) their life.

If you don't have this inner fire regardless if you're comfortable or not, I don't know how to help you. I don't get this unnatural mentality of not wanting to improve in life.

I used to think that encouraging people to drop some comfort in their lives would help but I'm not so sure anymore. You'll probably replace one set of enablers (your parents) with another (ordering take-out, hiring someone to clean for you, etc.).

Maybe you can begin by explaining to the forum how you see your life unfolding in the next few years.

Like, do you really think that your current situation will be good forever?

Don't you have any anxiety that things can get worse and you won't know how to respond?

Don't you feel any desire to become really successful for the sake of experiencing your life to the fullest?

 

[heavy_industry]

Just ask yourself which is more terrifying: facing the unknown and eventually becoming successful, or doing nothing and wasting your life.

There is no risk-free alternative. We are all on a sinking Titanic. Everything decays and opportunities fly by if we don't do anything about it. Your perceived comfort zone is nothing more than an illusion.

And the best accountability partner that will kick your a$$ is going to be life itself. You won't live forever. You won't be young forever. You are the one deciding your destiny at this very moment.

I made millions living with my parents and hustling my a$$ off. I actually didn't move out - I made them move out

This is just next level

 

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[RedCloud]

TLDR: a mediocre student with a comfortable life, already freelancing, want to expand into a business but is lazy and scared. Feel stressed about it. Need advices.

Thanks MJ for this forum!

Hi everyone.

I was born in a middle-class family. I’m in final year at the university. Life is comfortable. I’m living with my parents. If I'm lack of money, my parents help. My parents also cook for me. I don’t have to do chores, either. And I don't socialize much.

I’m doing freelancing in app development and have some clients. It can grow into a business more if I hire others. But I’m lazy and feel anxious.

I have read TFM and Unscripted . I know starting a business can be very rewarding. But again, I don’t have the motivation to work on my business. Even the foundation is there. Even I saw the huge opportunities for new businesses. But NO. Some parts of me want to be an entrepreneur and bring value to millions. Some don’t. The current situation is already good, why bothers (they think).

I WANT TO BREAK.

What should I do to have motivation? Should I move out? I think living with my parents is a reason, because it’s too comfortable, and comfort kills motivation.
Should I join a local entrepreneur community?
Should I do a dopamine fasting?

Thank you for reading all of this.

I know exactly how you feel. I had to move away from home before my mindset started to change.
But I don't think you need to move away to develop a mindset.

You don't need motivation, you need discipline.
In order to have discipline (to do stuff), you must have clear goals that you actually want to achieve.
And to have meaningful goals, you have to develop a certain mindset.

For me, that mindset development came with the help of self development activities such as mediation and gratitude journaling. Fitness definitely helped too but if you don't care about that then that's fine. Try to find some activity that challenges you.

Once you are able to develop a certain mindset, work becomes easy. It may not be physically easy but it definitely becomes mentally easy. You will save yourself a lot of struggle if you develop that mindset. Everything else will follow.

 

[Lex DeVille]

This story has become super common over the past few years.

Can't count how many times I've read it on this forum.

I don't get it.

How do so many kids suck mom and dad's tit for so long?

We live in a world of bitches who can't make a single decision on their own.

I'd say join the military for a dose of reality, but I don't think they offer that any longer.

My cousin lives in a similar situation. Here's what he did about it.

1. Instead of moving out, move into your parent's basement
2. Never come out
3. Always order door-dash on mom's card and have them drop it on the stoop so you never encounter people
4. Gain two or three hundred pounds, don't brush your teeth, comb your hair, or shower
5. Play video games all day
6. Forget how to talk and write because you don't need those skills
7. Pray that your parents live forever (and that they never get tired of your lazy a$$)

 

[RedCloud]

This story has become super common over the past few years.

Can't count how many times I've read it on this forum.

I don't get it.

How do so many kids suck mom and dad's tit for so long?

We live in a world of bitches who can't make a single decision on their own.

I'd say join the military for a dose of reality, but I don't think they offer that any longer.

My cousin lives in a similar situation. Here's what he did about it.

1. Instead of moving out, move into your parent's basement
2. Never come out
3. Always order door-dash on mom's card and have them drop it on the stoop so you never encounter people
4. Gain two or three hundred pounds, don't brush your teeth, comb your hair, or shower
5. Play video games all day
6. Forget how to talk and write because you don't need those skills
7. Pray that your parents live forever (and that they never get tired of your lazy a$$)

It's difficult to understand unless you have actually gone through it. It's quite hard to explain.

It basically feels like an endless holiday where you don't feel obligated to do anything. You're in a headspace where the future doesn't matter because you feel assured that you will be safe forever.

I agree with you, there are a lot of people today with a weak mindset. But I'm not surprised. Social media sucking up our dopamine, social standards and expectations, we were basically all pushed into the "slowlane" without even realising.

As I explained above, my belief is that success comes from having a certain mindset. With it, your goals, and therefore discipline, will come.

 

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[TryHardTriad]

I was in a similar position years ago. A lot of action faking and intent but nothing to show for it. Very frustrating times.

One New Year’s Eve I pledged I would get one sale that year doing literally anything. It wasn’t many sales by the years end (£10k) but I had started the process.

A sale is exciting piece of positive feedback and it is an essential step to break the rut. It creates a sense of responsibility to keep serving your customers. And before you know it, business is what you actually want do 90% of the time.

If you can’t “make” yourself get sales, don’t stress just get a job. Then realise you actually don’t mind being an employee making 6 figures OR you hate it no matter how much you get paid. Your intuition will let you know if your meant for it.

Nobody or no weird trick can force you to change. Get a sale this month and get started bro!

 

[RicardoGrande]

No one will come to kick your a$$.
No one will take the beer out of your hand and turn off the tv after the long day at work.
No one will have coffee made for you when you wake up at 5am to do some fastlane work before your dayjob shift.
No one will pat you on the back for working as hard as you need to.
No one will come to spend time with you when you don't see friends because you're learning about market fit.
No one will sing praises that you've 10x'd the difficulty of your life in search of something better.

The only thing that can destroy how you live now and help you rebuild your attitudes, it to have a burning WHY. You're working this hard because you hate spending 15 hours a week in a car in bumper to bumper traffic. You're working this hard because you're a full grown adult that no one else will come to save. You're working this hard because the thought of bearing a grin as a manager spends 2 hours talking at you about his DIY projects then nickel and diming you for not having projects done in a timely manner makes your blood boil hotter than the sun.

Ultimately, you will come to understand what you want, and what values and mindset you have to adopt and then all the "distractions" will start to fall away. If you want to start today, dig deep down inside to ask yourself why you procrastinate or play videogames (comfort? it's easy? sense of doing something?) and why you can't get started on the actions that matter (it's scary? you could get rejected? it may not work?) and why they're worth doing and what your ultimate reward for sticking this through will be (how many fastlaners never have to work again and own sports cars?).

 

[Lex DeVille]

It's difficult to understand unless you have actually gone through it. It's quite hard to explain.

It basically feels like an endless holiday where you don't feel obligated to do anything. You're in a headspace where the future doesn't matter because you feel assured that you will be safe forever.

I agree with you, there are a lot of people today with a weak mindset. But I'm not surprised. Social media sucking up our dopamine, social standards and expectations, we were basically all pushed into the "slowlane" without even realising.

As I explained above, my belief is that success comes from having a certain mindset. With it, your goals, and therefore discipline, will come.

As I write this, I'm trying to keep in mind that you might be young.

The slowlane has always been pushed.

Deep down, the OP knows (and you know this too) that your outcomes result from your choices. They are not the result of your parent's choices, social media, video games, school, or any outside source.

External sources may influence your decisions, but they do not make the choices for you.

You can choose to go in a different direction at any time.

Mindset is an outcome that results from your choices. Success is an outcome that results from your choices. Failure, laziness, and comfort, are also outcomes that result from choices.

Now that you know this, there is no room for excuses.

You make choices and take action in the direction you want to go, or you don't. Whatever happens after this moment is nobody else's fault or responsibility. It is yours alone, because even if you didn't know this before, I just told you, so now you know.

 

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[Antifragile]

Should I move out?

No, don’t be a quitter.




Jokes aside, great advice above already. I’ll add - nothing wrong with getting help when you need it. Posting here is a great idea. Add self-help books. Maybe attend some seminars. Meet other people who are successful and productive. Monkey see - money do. Right? Good luck.

 

[fastlane_dad]

This is a tough one - and really always two parts to every story.

Honestly, all comes down to your 'why'. Why do you want or need to get out of your comfort zone? What do you need a business for? Why do you even WANT someone to 'kick your a$$' and make you do it?

The beauty of entrepreneurship / fastlane is that YOU get to choose your 'pain and suffering'. YOU get to choose what you work for / on. YOU get to say and dictate the way the PROCESS goes. YOU get to choose your habits, motivations and goals/benchmarks. That's what all of us entrepreneurs wake up daily hungry for, and dont need ANYBODY to loom over us to 'make us do anything'.

Obviously you are here asking some of these questions ... so you are at least even partially interested in this lifestyle / way of thinking / rewards it CAN bring (so see @Antifragile suggestions above).

I know PLENTY of people who don't have a business, and are very 'comfortable' and 'happy being so'. Some HAVE a boss and just like going in every day, checking in / checking out and living their family life. I know others who made a little bit of money, and then choose to 'take it easy' for next 1-5-10 years and then go back to work again. Point is you need to figure out where you fit in and what drives you daily, in and out of your comfort zone.

BUT again there is no free lunch or candy here for anybody. We don't KNOW you here, and what discomforts you can bear. There is ALWAYS risk involved, that you undertake as well. Sometimes it's FINANCIAL. Sometimes its TIME. Sometimes its EMOTIONAL. Only you can determine how much of that 'RISK' (loss of comfort) you can bear and what your limits are.

It's fine if you choose not to go this route as well! You can still have a GREAT life, but just know that the circumstances, outcomes and 'who' and 'what' are looming over your life will be different.

It really is all about your day to day motivations, and what you want to work towards. Good Luck !!

 

[nnogalaxy]

You don't get your a$$ kicked.

You just do it.

Like man it doesn't get any simpler than that.

F*ck how you feel, just start & do it.

 

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[ZCP]

@lytran deep down inside you know your current situation is wrong. why? what drives that feeling?
pretend David Goggins showed up at your house to see you, what would HE say about your situation?

find some of the old 'scared straight' shows and watch them.
especially the one where the convict is nose to nose with a kid that is disrespecting his mom ..... dude says, 'i don't even HAVE a Mom. and YOU are going to disrespect yours'.

 

[Clavis Ark]

TLDR: a mediocre student with a comfortable life, already freelancing, want to expand into a business but is lazy and scared. Feel stressed about it. Need advices.

Thanks MJ for this forum!

Hi everyone.

I was born in a middle-class family. I’m in final year at the university. Life is comfortable. I’m living with my parents. If I'm lack of money, my parents help. My parents also cook for me. I don’t have to do chores, either. And I don't socialize much.

I’m doing freelancing in app development and have some clients. It can grow into a business more if I hire others. But I’m lazy and feel anxious.

I have read TFM and Unscripted . I know starting a business can be very rewarding. But again, I don’t have the motivation to work on my business. Even the foundation is there. Even I saw the huge opportunities for new businesses. But NO. Some parts of me want to be an entrepreneur and bring value to millions. Some don’t. The current situation is already good, why bothers (they think).

I WANT TO BREAK.

What should I do to have motivation? Should I move out? I think living with my parents is a reason, because it’s too comfortable, and comfort kills motivation.
Should I join a local entrepreneur community?
Should I do a dopamine fasting?

Thank you for reading all of this.

I will give you some advice which is a mix of stuff which I know of that could help for when you don't have motivation.

1) Have a FTE (F*ck This Event)
This is mentioned in Unscripted , and is probably a good way to gain motivation. Be mad at something, it can be anything. "I hate the way I am living", "I hate I can't scale my business", "I hate how others are successful and I'm a bum". Be sincere with yourself with the FTE.

2) Create a Schedule
I've personally created a schedule with Taskade and my life has been sorted out. By the time I wake up and before I close my eyes, I already know what's set out for the day. You can create a schedule however you like (notebook, app), it can also be simple or detailed depending on your goals or what you want.

3) Start Exercising
I've heard this from Andrew Tate, and some other videos. Often I hear it helps sets the mood feeling like you've accomplished something, and makes you feel active.

4) Dopamine Detox
Like you've mentioned, I watched a video on how to do trick your brain into doing hard things and it revolved around dopamine detox. The brain craves for dopamine, but if you cut off high dopamine. It'll be easier for the brain to focus on tasks. You can restrict or completely restrict yourself from high dopamine activities (Social media, music, games). I followed the 80/20 rule for this and it helped me personally a lot, I felt way less distracted than I was before and was better able to focus on one task.

Video:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QiE-M1LrZk


Now I could keep going on with other methods like, meditation, the Pomodoro, Hell yeah or no, writing down your distractions or accomplishments, Parkinson's Law. But personally, out of all the top four I've mentioned are effective.