Coping with serious disabilities?

[jpanarra]

Hey @Scot thanks for the shout out.

I've been Deaf my whole life and its just an normal way of life for me and I really don't feel/see it as a disability because it works as a filter and launching platform if you angle yourself in all of the different ways.

He has trouble concentrating during reading books because he gets emotionally distracted by his disability, thinking "I will carry this disability wherever I go, even if I read 10000 business books" and "having these disabilities was so unlikely. Why do I have to be a victim of these?"
He just wishes he could forget about his disability, and make the best of his remaining life quality.

This is a mindset only HE can change. People get inspired by 'disabled' success and you get so much more reinforcement as a source of inspiration for other. The reality is most people don't care about you unless it makes a good story that makes them feel like they can do the same for themselves.

For me, I would suggest that he LOVES his disability as opposed to 'accepting'. I love being deaf, my wife is deaf, my children are deaf. I love it for the challenges it puts in front of me because its like a video game, Instead of playing on 'Normal' Difficulty, I'm gnna rekt this game on 'Very Hard' and own up on it.

 

[Ninjakid]

I have Tourettes, and although it's not as serious as many cases I've seen, it is something I deal with every day.

I don't whine about it, because feeling sorry for myself prevents me from living the life I'm meant to live.

I don't identify with it. It's something I deal with, but it's not the thing that makes me me.

I accept that it's there, but I make the choice to fight any problems that come with it, no matter what they are.

I focus only on what I can control and what I can improve, and those qualities shine so brightly they burn away everything else.

I'm not sure what your friend has, and my case probably isn't nearly as debilitating, but your friend is still in control of who he wants to be. It's his choice if he wants to take charge and develop himself as an outstanding individual despite of his ailments, or sink into the trap of self-pity.

Self-pity is quite easy, Even people with no disabilities do it. Worse for your friend, it will never be hard for him to find people who feel sorry for him and keep his pity party rolling all night. He can choose to be a victim and be a martyr, no one will stop him.

What can you do? Encourage him to take charge of himself and his life. If we won't, there's no helping people who don't want to be helped.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Suppose that you had absolutely perfect health and energy.
You would still only be able to work something less than 168 hours a week.
Even if you slept little, ate fast, had no commute and no social life, and could shower & shave with military precision every day, you'd be unlike to make more than 120 hours every week.
So if you were absolutely nonstop relentless in every hour, you could do three times what a normal 40 hour a week person could do.
If you were totally focused, and the average worker wastes 2/3 of their working time on daydreams, Facebook,and fantasy football, that might bump you up to about ten times what the average person could do.
That's the absolute total limit.

By that comparison, the Google guys shouldn't have been able to make more than about a million dollars a year (ten times an upper-tier Silicon Valley developer salary). MJ shouldn't have been able to take home more than the chauffeur's pay for about 8,000 miles a week (assuming 100 hours a week on the freeway with never a traffic jam). Subway's founder would be able to make about 1,500 sandwiches a week.

Obviously these guys all broke the dollars per hour limit. They got paid incredibly well for their very best hours, in a way that consistently built those best hours on top of each other. They put the Time and Scale principles on their own side.

Careers guru Dick Bolles pointed out that when you compare to the best of humanity - being able to write a symphony like Mozart, dunk a basketball like Michael Jordan, tell a story like JK Rowling - we're all handicapped.

We also all have something we do well enough that it's worth paying for. And if we can figure out how to efficiently scale it, it's worth getting paid a LOT for. Not because we personally make more lines of code, more limo trips, or more sandwiches. But because we use what we can do to create a system that can outperform our personal limitations.

Which is what I'm here to learn!

As for your friend, Galaxy (sorry, I don't see your actual name)... he knows that you care, that you believe in him, that you hope he'll be able to find some happiness, that you'd like to see him succeed. These are things you can repeat because you care. How he responds to all that, whether he'd like to look at how other people have dealt with disabilities, whether he'd find it worthwhile to explore counseling... all of that is up to him, truly outside your control.

 

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[jpanarra]

Ok, as a Deaf person, I've worked with alot of people that have a wide range of disabilites. In the community there are alot of people that have Deafness as their secondary disability as opposed to mine where its only being Deaf. I know more than most about limitiations and people that tend to be negative and hide in safe corner saying they can't do anything about it and collect Social Security. Now don't get me wrong,I get collecting social security due to the difficulties of finding a job due to the unspoken sigma of how do I handle this disabled person If I hire them, I've faced that myself.

What I do have a problem with, Is the perspective I'm seeing coming from you. I don't know who you or your friend are, but it seems like you jumped on here out of genuineness of the desire to help your friend. However, with every single suggestion people made on here you turn around and give a defene and back it up with some sort of reason why he CAN'T do this. Instead of putting that energy in the "CAN'T" try to think of it in a way of how you can make it possible. There is no manual for this shit, it sucks, but trying to think of a way you can help him 'CREATE' something. Creation is the pinnacle of humanity and will suppress any other desire if he has the ability to create. Help him find something to make, and most of the time if someone make something they can sell it. Now you have this 'creation' and a EPIC story to boot, I'm speaking from experience here people love to hear the this guy CAN'T but he DID story and will throw money at it to make them feel like they're part of it.

Before you rebutt what I just said here. I personally know someone who has CHARGE syndrome, which is one of the more f*cked up disabilities out there, He's legally Blind, profoundly Deaf, has a cleft palate, something is wrong with his hormones and will never grow beyond 4 ft, horomone problems screws up his sex drive, has heart problems with a shunt in his heart, Has facial palsy and has a hard time eating. I mean this dude probably has more to go on. He was sheltered by his parents and people around him told him he couldn't do this couldn't do that, ended up in the special needs class in school to learn how to fold clothes etc. I met this guy later in life but he already had a dry cleaning business, he was not sharp but he was able to create something that made his life meaningful and help others while doing it.

I've seen firsthand of legit mentally exhausting and crippling disabilities because of the number we have of them in deaf community. I see the difference in what makes people happy and continue. Outside of being in a vegetative state, there is an opporunity to suceed if you commit and persist.

A small suggestion I mean if his disability is so nasty and unique, It might be interesting for him to write about it, blog about it, make a youtube channel about it because odds are out there someone else has the same challenges and would love to hear some common ground.

 

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[Galaxy16]

I have a close friend, who also wants to get an Unscripted Entrepreneur, but there is a problem:
He is physically disabled in a way that he will never achieve freedom and the quality of life he would like. And he has one chronic disease which is not life-threatening at all, but very compromising and freedom-draining.
He says: "I wish I was as free as Reece Curran from the music video 'Mike Perry - The Ocean'".


He is not nearly as disabled as Nick Vujicic, but still in a way he loses life quality.
He could read the books of Nick Vujicic, but my friend is non-religious and the Vujicic books are christian. (if this line is enough to be considered as a violation against the forum rules against religion, please remove it. I thought this was worth mentioning.).
Additionally, Nick Vujicic got respect by hundreds of millions of people around the world, and Vujicic is really rich, so he profited financially from his disability, but not rewardingly in terms of life quality and freedom, unless stem cells can regrow legs and arms.

My friend is worried that he will be declined by entrepreneurially minded women he might meet in future, if ever.

(This should be treated factually and not pervert(ed)ly: ) His disability affects his sexual life negatively too. And he has already emotional stress when thinking about the fact that he will not be able to have sex without restrictions.

He has trouble concentrating during reading books because he gets emotionally distracted by his disability, thinking "I will carry this disability wherever I go, even if I read 10000 business books" and "having these disabilities was so unlikely. Why do I have to be a victim of these?"
He just wishes he could forget about his disability, and make the best of his remaining life quality.

I tried but could do nothing to comfort or emotionally help him, so I am looking for advice.
When I suggested him to just accept his disability, he told me, that acceptance never makes happy and he wants to get an Unscripted Entrepreneur to particularly escape a life of financial acceptance of mediocrity, but he can not escape a disability. And I can understand him.

• How would you emotionally handle a disability that permanently reduces your freedom and pleasure?
• What advice would you tell to him to help him?

He says: "What I say might just sound like nothing beyond sound waves, and I speak in a language that only other disabled people understand, but there is a true meaning behind it."

This is an attempt of mine to help him, and hopefully it is worthed it.

 

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[Mr.Brandtastic]

This is a great thread. I'm very proud of you for trying to be such a good friend. That's admirable.

I think what I would say to a friend or anyone who wants to take the Fastlane journey but has serious disabilities: Do it anyway. At the end of the day, the fastlane(or building a brand) is not about who you are. It's not about any of that. It's about having anyone be able to succeed anywhere as long as they create something great.

People love underdog stories. People love stories of others getting over their problems and explaining how they dealt with it. I remember vividly in school we had multiple people with disabilities come and talk to us as motivational speakers. I'd make him watch videos of this nature to understand that his limitations will not hold him back, nor should they.

As for limiting relationships. It will. Unfortunately. I would tell him that those who stay will truly care and those who leave never will.

 

[Real Deal Denver]

Suppose that you had absolutely perfect health and energy.
You would still only be able to work something less than 168 hours a week.
Even if you slept little, ate fast, had no commute and no social life, and could shower & shave with military precision every day, you'd be unlike to make more than 120 hours every week.
So if you were absolutely nonstop relentless in every hour, you could do three times what a normal 40 hour a week person could do.
If you were totally focused, and the average worker wastes 2/3 of their working time on daydreams, Facebook,and fantasy football, that might bump you up to about ten times what the average person could do.
That's the absolute total limit.

By that comparison, the Google guys shouldn't have been able to make more than about a million dollars a year (ten times an upper-tier Silicon Valley developer salary). MJ shouldn't have been able to take home more than the chauffeur's pay for about 8,000 miles a week (assuming 100 hours a week on the freeway with never a traffic jam). Subway's founder would be able to make about 1,500 sandwiches a week.

Obviously these guys all broke the dollars per hour limit. They got paid incredibly well for their very best hours, in a way that consistently built those best hours on top of each other. They put the Time and Scale principles on their own side.

Careers guru Dick Bolles pointed out that when you compare to the best of humanity - being able to write a symphony like Mozart, dunk a basketball like Michael Jordan, tell a story like JK Rowling - we're all handicapped.

We also all have something we do well enough that it's worth paying for. And if we can figure out how to efficiently scale it, it's worth getting paid a LOT for. Not because we personally make more lines of code, more limo trips, or more sandwiches. But because we use what we can do to create a system that can outperform our personal limitations.

Which is what I'm here to learn!

As for your friend, Galaxy (sorry, I don't see your actual name)... he knows that you care, that you believe in him, that you hope he'll be able to find some happiness, that you'd like to see him succeed. These are things you can repeat because you care. How he responds to all that, whether he'd like to look at how other people have dealt with disabilities, whether he'd find it worthwhile to explore counseling... all of that is up to him, truly outside your control.

What. An. Awesome. Post.

If you're not a counselor of some type Bloomer, you are missing your calling.

I had three counselors two years ago, and occasionally still spit when I think of them. I tied so very hard to explain what I needed and why. They had their own agenda, which did more harm than good for me, and eventually I told them all to pound sand.

I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. Why couldn't I connect and benefit with what they were saying? Or, maybe they were idiots, and couldn't hear what I was saying? Probably for the same reasons Michael Dell, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg threw in the towel and quit college - and going out on their own.

I have NO doubt whatsoever that you would be a better counselor than the three I had - combined.

Your words are very helpful to me, and I can't imagine what more could be said to help the disabled OP topic of this post. This is a great service you have performed.

You have wisdom, and the skill to convey it. Every word of your post energized me. Fantistico!

 

[Scot]

Wanna chime in here @jpanarra ?

 

[Hai]

Get him to read stoic philosophy. David Heinemeier Hansson is a great stoic entrepreneur. Your friend should focus on what he can control, and that is to do the best to his ability.

 

[Late Bloomer]

What. An. Awesome. Post.

If you're not a counselor of some type Bloomer, you are missing your calling.

Thank you so much for the kind words. Going through some hard times, some I've mentioned here and some I haven't, helped build an intense drive in me to find psychological truth and moral wisdom. I wouldn't recommend this path to anyone!

Obviously I still have some things to learn. But overall, I have been fortunate to learn a lot. Including some things that are helpful to others, now and then. When that happens, it feels that something true intuitively came through me, rather than from me. I don't have a specific explanation, but I can usually tell when it happens.

As I go about my weekly routine, most weeks I get a few responses like yours. I don't want to try to sell this. It happens unpredictably, and I'm not trained and licensed for a professional counseling role. But it does mean a lot to me when it does happen. I'm glad what I said was helpful. If you'd like to follow up, please feel free to send a direct inbox note.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

Galaxy, it seems you have an assumption about life that you live by. Actually several.
The first assumption is: If circumstances are bad enough, than a person has NO POWER OR ABILITY AT ALL to choose a more positive attitude.

Frankl's book Man's Search For Meaning disproves this. Totally blows it out of the water.
Dr. Frankl developed his philosophy and psychology in a World War II concentration camp. After he had lost his family, his home, his freedom, his career, the manuscript to his first book based on a lifetime of research, most of his health, and any hope of rescue or recovery or an end to wartime austerity and brutality.

I think if we're honest, we need to agree that most people reading this forum will NEVER face a circumstance quite that bleak and brutal.

And his conclusion, which he explains in great details, is that the last human freedom, to choose our own response to life, at least within the sanctity and privacy of our own minds, still exists and still belongs to each of us.

His book's sold probably well over ten million copies by now, and in every generation since he wrote it, you can find countless people who say this one book inspired how they think, feel, and believe moment by moment through life's darkest hours, more than anything else.

There may be some times that health issues prevent enough glucose and oxygen from reaching neurons in the brain, so that a new thought is physically impossible to connect across the neurotransmitters right then.
All other times, Frankl and many others across the millennia of recorded human existence and from every inhabited continent, have told us that there IS more measure of free will and choice than you believe is possible for your friend... or for you, while your friend yet suffers.

I can provide, and others can provide, plenty of the wisest, most profound words and ideas, some of the most acclaimed and influential concepts and books ever expounded in a poetic, moving, and intellectually rigorous way. And I suspect you'll keep on rejecting them, not even cracking open the first page, because they contradict the presupposed conclusions you already assume as givens, the central Scripting of your own life and beliefs.

So the very same wisdom that can be found in Frankl, in the Stoics and Epicureans, in Krishna's dialogue with Arjuna in the Gita and in St. Paul's letters from prison, in the Noble Truths of Siddhartha (his first one is that Life Really Sucks), in the modern day interviews and Youtube channels of some people who've been through hell, in the advice of the Tao and of the Tenth Guru, in the existentialists and the positive psychologists, in the Strangest Secret retold again by Earl Nightingale... none of this will be a good enough rope, to someone who's predefined the conclusion that there could not be a good enough rope to save me or anyone.

You also have the assumption that you can speak for your friend about what NEW ideas he definitely could accept or use. Without, as far as I can tell, your having ever discussed these specific concepts with him. And without your giving him the respect and freedom to make up his own mind.

So, you are splashing deeper into the swamp, with a belief that NO ROPE COULD EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH, rejecting rope and rope thrown in the attempt to help you get to shore... asking again for people outside of you to solve the contradictions are are actually a fight between conflicting ideas within your own mind.

What is that rope, offered in so many sizes and colors from all directions?
The truth that each of us, including your friend, and including you regardless of what your friend chooses to do, really can choose our own beliefs and attitudes, for our own good or our own harm. Even when life really, really sucks.

 

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[CaptainAmerica]

Wow, this is awesome stuff! Second time this week it's come up? Something like that. Here's the deal: your friend is never going to be his vision of whole and free. So - he needs to change that vision, and work towards something that he made up out of thin air.

I can't work a straight job. I laughingly tell people I'm unemployable because of my strong personality. There's an element of truth in that. The reality is, I only have about 4 hours of energy a day to work with.

He's going to be miserable regardless of his financial success if he keeps comparing himself to other people. I will never play pro basketball. If I worked myself into a morass of pity and anxiety over it, especially being surrounded by athletes, I'd go mad. That's what he's doing. But he's never going to play pro basketball either. Doesn't mean he can't enjoy the game.

There's a lot of freedom in making stuff up. Maybe ask a little kid 'what kind of work do you think I do?' and see what they say.

 

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[natbag]

This reminds me of Beethoven.
I am also telling my friend not to compare himself with Julian Pawel Claßen and Bianca Heinicke, who are considered as the happiest and most admired couple in germany. They are coupled since early 2009.
Their YouTube channels combined have 9 million subscribers, of which the latter crossed 5 million less than 2 days ago, making her the most subscribed YouTube channel owner of germany. They are both at a vibrant age of 25 now, and their estimated net worth is close to 20 million, also due to Bianca's body lotion business called "nuwena GmbH".
I tell my friend to comfort him: But Bianca Heinicke has no peace in publicity due to recognition by strangers, and also a music video with over 2 million dislikes (ever heard of "Bibi H - Wap Bap"? That's her!).

But a level of freedom (at least private freedom such as traveling and healthy sexual experiences) and prosperity that these two people have, is still an unmatched utopia, my friend thinks.

Hey, OP. Your friend's situation struck a chord with me, so I'm going to try and give some perspective based on my own experience, as well as my partner's. As someone who's been wracked with seizures for over 10 years now, I don't consider myself "disabled" so much as "occasionally disrupted," but I do know what it feels like to be a prisoner: to your body, to your brain, and ultimately to your own self-defeating mentality. It's helped me to remember a few things:

- Comparisons are a killer. Someone can have everything your friend wants and still be miserable. I do get it - this is something people would always tell me, and I thought it was an empty platitude until I saw it for myself: the same way people with massive friend circles can still be lonely, I've met people with more -fill in the blank- (money, power, girls) than they know what to do with, but they still feel like it's not enough. Your friend gets this, and he gets that a check for $10,000,000 could fall in his lap and it wouldn't solve his issues -- but it might help to remember that the real solution is in his reach, if he's willing to put the work in and change his mindset.

- Remember what you have to offer. Does your friend have something he's great at, or at least something he's passionate about? Any interests? Even if he had 0 skills right now, there are so many you can pick up for free, and I can't understate the massive confidence boost you can get for creating something with your own two hands (or code, or writing, etc.)

- Everyone is temporarily "able-bodied," and health is impermanent. I don't know the nature of your friend's condition, but I'm assuming he's sound of mind. You're at the physical prime of your life for less than a decade. A legacy is something that transcends lifetimes.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I haven't said anything that hasn't been said much better already. So I'll address your friend's relationship concerns.

I can't speak for the women your friend would like to meet, but personally, the main 3 traits I look for are 1. Ambition 2. Passion (i.e. what gets you out of bed in the morning, or a "why") and 3. Intelligence. My partner's a brilliant painter and hits all 3 points for me, and also happens to be in a wheelchair from permanent nerve damage. I would never claim that the dating world doesn't suck with a disability -- it's either a dealbreaker to most people, or you attract a lot of chasers ("devotees"). I'm just saying that if your friend lets your disability consume his entire identity, then he's dead in the water before he even starts.

 

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[Mattie]

• How would you emotionally handle a disability that permanently reduces your freedom and pleasure?

• What advice would you tell to him to help him?

Being a former nurse aide, I would say he would have to get over his self-limiting beliefs. I am aware of the disabilities of many different people, and I can't say what his limitations are psychologically and emotionally, but I've seen many people with disabilities move mountains if they want too. It's just a matter of finding the right people to assist him.

Example: Stephen Hawkins never allowed his disability to get in the way. It's a catch 22, because I've seen some people eat healthy, find the best medications, hire respite care or an assistant, and maneuver around their obstacles, while others just fall back and think they can't do anything. I don't think the intellect and emotions are the problem unless they have some kind of brain injury, but you hear stories all the time of those who just won't give up on themselves, work hard, and overcome the impossible. This is mental toughness, adversity, and self-limiting belief. I would encourage him to watch stories like this or read up on successful people who managed to move beyond the physical disabilities.

 

[Late Bloomer]

He is much stronger at responsibility than most other people, but he does certainly not know how to respond to a situation that involves a permanently inferior life experience.

First... it's kind of you to want to help your friend make the most of whatever could be good in his life. However, at a certain point, you have to recognize that his own choice of philosophy of life, thought process, attitude, perspective, focus, etc., is really up to him and not up to you.

A caring friend or family member can only do so much. Psychological counseling is a valid profession. So is the ministry. So is clinical social work.

It might be that if your friend's state of mind is troubling him a great deal, turning to someone with a professional degree, credentialed supervised training, and many years of career experience, working with people in difficult circumstances, under a code of ethical conduct, might be of value to him, but that's up to him. In my own case, doctors, social workers, counselors, and ministers were all very helpful people for me to talk things over with, as were support groups at the cancer center.

Second... when people offer the best that they know of to try to help, shooting down each and every well intentioned suggestion with "yes, but" is a way to get people to lose interest in trying to help. I don't see that you said, "thanks for sharing from your own difficult life experience," or for others, "thanks for passing along those ideas," etc., BEFORE you immediately jumped to, "that won't work for him, you have to do better than that on his behalf, via me, his agent for psychological advice and motivation."

Third... Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning is one of the most profound and life-changing books I've ever read. Perhaps it might help your friend, as it helped me.

Fourth... you're pretty close to proving that whatever sympathy or insight people are supposed to provide, that would change anything for you or your friend... this forum's probably not equipped to provide it as you seem to hope or expect or demand.

I'm going to unfollow this thread. If there is a specific way I can realistically be of service, you may contact me directly.

 

[Late Bloomer]

He says he wishes to escape his body.

So to put it extremely bluntly:
What the hell are we supposed to say or do, that will enable you to make things right for him?

 

[Late Bloomer]

If he or me knew, we would not have asked here.
You may wish to leave the discussion, but I am grateful for your participation.

I've given several specific suggestions of places to turn for a level of help that this forum simply can't provide to you.

I think that repeatedly asking the same question of people who don't have the answers you seek, won't get you better results with repeated asking, and repeated rejection of each and every attempt at an answer.

I encourage you to use the kind of resources I mentioned, and also to see if there is an online forum or Facebook group, specifically for seriously disabled people in general, or for extremely traumatic lifelong disasters in general, or for people with his particular type of disability in particular, and for their friends and loved ones.

I think further attempts to get very, very deep psychology and philosophy and mental health guidance from a business & entrepreneurship forum, isn't likely to get very far no matter how much you keep pushing it here.

If this really does matter a lot to you, I offer the strongest imploring that you find people equipped to meaningfully counsel and guide through this distressing situation you observe in your dear friend's life.

 

[Galaxy16]

As I was a nurse aide, there are people blind, deaf, but still play music,

This reminds me of Beethoven.
Beethoven also composed music while he was deaf, due to his powerful mind's sound imagination.
Unfortunately, he never got to enjoy some masterpieces he composed. At least, hundreds of millions of other people enjoyed it.

someone who has CHARGE syndrome, which is one of the more f*cked up disabilities out there, He's legally Blind, profoundly Deaf, has a cleft palate, something is wrong with his hormones and will never grow beyond 4 ft, horomone problems screws up his sex drive, has heart problems with a shunt in his heart, Has facial palsy and has a hard time eating. I mean this dude probably has more to go on. He was sheltered by his parents and people around him told him he couldn't do this couldn't do that, ended up in the special needs class in school to learn how to fold clothes etc. I met this guy later in life but he already had a dry cleaning business, he was not sharp but he was able to create something that made his life meaningful and help others while doing it.

This is very inspiring.

I am also telling my friend not to compare himself with Julian Pawel Claßen and Bianca Heinicke, who are considered as the happiest and most admired couple in germany. They are coupled since early 2009.
Their YouTube channels combined have 9 million subscribers, of which the latter crossed 5 million less than 2 days ago, making her the most subscribed YouTube channel owner of germany. They are both at a vibrant age of 25 now, and their estimated net worth is close to 20 million, also due to Bianca's body lotion business called "nuwena GmbH".
I tell my friend to comfort him: But Bianca Heinicke has no peace in publicity due to recognition by strangers, and also a music video with over 2 million dislikes (ever heard of "Bibi H - Wap Bap"? That's her!).

But a level of freedom (at least private freedom such as traveling and healthy sexual experiences) and prosperity that these two people have, is still an unmatched utopia, my friend thinks.

I will show him your excellent post, despite I do not think that he wishes to expose his disability online. He feels like he is in the body of an 100 year old person. But let's give it a try.

 

[jpanarra]

This reminds me of Beethoven.
Beethoven also composed music while he was deaf, due to his powerful mind's sound imagination.
Unfortunately, he never got to enjoy some masterpieces he composed. At least, hundreds of millions of other people enjoyed it.

This is very inspiring.

I am also telling my friend not to compare himself with Julian Pawel Claßen and Bianca Heinicke, who are considered as the happiest and most admired couple in germany. They are coupled since early 2009.
Their YouTube channels combined have 9 million subscribers, of which the latter crossed 5 million less than 2 days ago, making her the most subscribed YouTube channel owner of germany. They are both at a vibrant age of 25 now, and their estimated net worth is close to 20 million, also due to Bianca's body lotion business called "nuwena GmbH".
I tell my friend to comfort him: But Bianca Heinicke has no peace in publicity due to recognition by strangers, and also a music video with over 2 million dislikes (ever heard of "Bibi H - Wap Bap"? That's her!).

But a level of freedom (at least private freedom such as traveling and healthy sexual experiences) and prosperity that these two people have, is still an unmatched utopia, my friend thinks.

I will show him your excellent post, despite I do not think that he wishes to expose his disability online. He feels like he is in the body of an 100 year old person. But let's give it a try.

I'm not saying he has to 'expose' or put his disablity on display. But rather the opposite, come to terms with it and expose HIMSELF for who he is and what he can offer and help.

 

[B. Cole]

Stephen Hawking.

Jason Becker, former guitarist stricken with ALS, continues to write music, release albums and have other people play it for him.

Josh Blue. The comedian, took advantage of his disability and used it as a comical advantage.

I personally know a paraplegic man who has a successful masonry business. He pulls up in his van to check on his jobs, rolls his butt down the ramp and across the job site in his motorized chair. Even brings his workers supplies, I’ve seen him carry a lap full of bricks from his van to his crew.

If your friend has a capable mind, he can be successful. I say this because of your rejection of every response in this thread. It sounds like either he or you don’t want an answer.

A couple of Jim Rohn quotes come to mind...

“Don’t wish life were easier. Wish you were better.”

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”

Best of luck, it seems you’re a great friend, but the help you seek may not be on this forum.

 

[XxThelionxX]

He’ll be ok. I’m sure he has the desire to do this!

With that desire there is no stopping him. Just help him through it...

Disabilities aren’t fun, and I’m not sure if you are able to work through them. You just do your best to cope.

Is he just starting out with entrepreneurship because it sounds like he is going through what I went through at the beginning.

It’s not fun, they say it’s hard, messy, and then nice. It’s hard man, he must fight through it. He needs to dig deep. Desire alone won’t get him there

He needs determination and drive along with desire. Or you could just get him to start. On the path less traveled. The road less taken!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

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[WJK]

I have a close friend, who also wants to get an Unscripted Entrepreneur, but there is a problem:
He is physically disabled in a way that he will never achieve freedom and the quality of life he would like. And he has one chronic disease which is not life-threatening at all, but very compromising and freedom-draining.
He says: "I wish I was as free as Reece Curran from the music video 'Mike Perry - The Ocean'".


He is not nearly as disabled as Nick Vujicic, but still in a way he loses life quality.
He could read the books of Nick Vujicic, but my friend is non-religious and the Vujicic books are christian. (if this line is enough to be considered as a violation against the forum rules against religion, please remove it. I thought this was worth mentioning.).
Additionally, Nick Vujicic got respect by hundreds of millions of people around the world, and Vujicic is really rich, so he profited financially from his disability, but not rewardingly in terms of life quality and freedom, unless stem cells can regrow legs and arms.

My friend is worried that he will be declined by entrepreneurially minded women he might meet in future, if ever.

(This should be treated factually and not pervert(ed)ly: ) His disability affects his sexual life negatively too. And he has already emotional stress when thinking about the fact that he will not be able to have sex without restrictions.

He has trouble concentrating during reading books because he gets emotionally distracted by his disability, thinking "I will carry this disability wherever I go, even if I read 10000 business books" and "having these disabilities was so unlikely. Why do I have to be a victim of these?"
He just wishes he could forget about his disability, and make the best of his remaining life quality.

I tried but could do nothing to comfort or emotionally help him, so I am looking for advice.
When I suggested him to just accept his disability, he told me, that acceptance never makes happy and he wants to get an Unscripted Entrepreneur to particularly escape a life of financial acceptance of mediocrity, but he can not escape a disability. And I can understand him.

• How would you emotionally handle a disability that permanently reduces your freedom and pleasure?
• What advice would you tell to him to help him?

He says: "What I say might just sound like nothing beyond sound waves, and I speak in a language that only other disabled people understand, but there is a true meaning behind it."

This is an attempt of mine to help him, and hopefully it is worthed it.

This is a great lesson for you. You can't change what is -- just your point of view. Support your friend in his struggles. Lead with your own success. Everyone around you will benefit.

 

[Mattie]

He wishes he could just concentrate with his technically intact brain, but there are many triggers such as advertisement billboards with love couples, who are able to enjoy a life he can nothing but dream of.

Of course, he feels happy for non-disabled people who enjoy their lives, but that does not make the pleasure of his own only life better.

I think anyone can find something in their life they don't necessarily enjoy in their lives. I've been in a family that chooses divorce as a main theme. I'll never get to experience a family that stays together. As I was a nurse aide, there are people blind, deaf, but still play music, write poetry, and if you watch developmentally disabled in their own form of olympics they still do their best with what they got. There are people with no teeth, who have to wear dentures. And I can tell you that some of the Traditionalists live through WWII and Depression and not all of them had sex life, married, and families. I wish I could tell you life is fair and equal for everyone, but it is not. And while their are different disabilities, it's hard to say what this person is capable of doing if he really wanted to do it. There is technology these days that helps people.

 

[Mattie]

The question is: How?
How should he imagine that?

The same way most of us do. We set goals. We visualize. We take action. We educate ourselves. We get the necessary tools.

 

[Galaxy16]

Frankl's book Man's Search For Meaning disproves this. Totally blows it out of the water.

I will have to get this book.

 

[Galaxy16]

nd I suspect you'll keep on rejecting them, not even cracking open the first page,

I have not rejected anything. I really appreciated it.
The problem is just that he is permanently emotionally being bothered by his disabilities, and he knows that he will also be suffering from them after succeeding in life, if science finds no way of repairing it.
He wishes he could just turn off emotions and jealousy to the vast majority of people that he will ever see in his life.
He considers himself as having as less freedom as a millionaire at age 95.


Let's hope that this book will help him to stay in his head and just ignore the rest of his body.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Hey, OP. Your friend's situation struck a chord with me, so I'm going to try and give some perspective based on my own experience, as well as my partner's.

Thanks so much for your compassionate post from your own experience. I hope that you get whatever help minimizes the disruption of the seizures. One of the things that drew me to MJ's Fastlane mindset, is that it's possible to create a business where we're paid well for our good hours, even though we might also have some bad times that are unpredictable. I'm still working to put that together for myself, but I see some real possibilities through what I'm learning at the forum. Great post!

 

[ay47]

Have you encouraged him at creating his own support network? There are lots of resources like Facebook Groups, forums etc online. Community services and hospitals offline.

I don't know what disability he has. If he is determined to be on the FastLane, why not look at creating something that will help with his disability? He would know the pain of the group better than anyone. It has to be real productocracy though. I would hate to hear a value faker taking advantage of pp with disabilities.

Striking a chord as I received some bad news recently.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Best of luck, it seems you’re a great friend, but the help you seek may not be on this forum.

I think he's looking for an answer that includes two parts:
1. You're right that your friend's situation is so awful that it's hopeless for him to have any mental focus, inner happiness, and outward success.
2. At the same time, here's what you can tell him that is all he'll need to know to be sharp, joyous, and wealthy.

No answer any of us can provide will satisfy both requirements.

 

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[Deleted20833]

I got very sick and I mean very sick a year and a half ago (I was losing my vision slowly but surely) and the way I cured myself is by going on a whole food plant base diet along with taking herbs that support my glands

Detoxing is a bitch and that is an understatement of biblical proportions but it's the only way of getting rid of a chronic disease

Tell your friend to subscribe to Dr. Morse YouTube channel and watch all his video, it'll save his life I'm not kidding