CHAPTER VII: MY BLOOD
“Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space.” ― Chuck Palahniuk
“Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space.” ― Chuck Palahniuk
"The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see. Because all this time, the monster has been me."
Part I: Progress Stats
1. September's Financial StatementNet Income: $3,750
Assets: $6,863
Cash: $3,795
Expenses: $1,433
Debt: $1,070
Passive Income: $77
Net Worth: $9,855
2. Writing
Articles Published: 0
Value Vouchers: $77.85
Views: 2,450
3. August Vs. September (Inputs & Outputs)
August's Input & Output
5h of Fastlane = $100
156h at Work = $2,943
September's Input & Output
0h of Fastlane = $77
147h at Work = $3,671
Part II: Fastlane Progress
Lately, I've taken a break from writing articles for the month of September. Therefore, I'm thinking about returning back anytime soon.In addition, I've been learning the foundations of carrying out a project I'm currently interested in.
In terms of work, fall is the busiest season for the restaurant I work for. Hence the number of tips received during Q4 is a lot higher than in other quarters.
Part III: Highlights
Q3 (Round 2) made me realize and uncover the truth of how heartless of a person I've become towards the people who still love me. My siblings, my parents, and some friends. Just two weeks ago, I made my mother cry unintentionally. How? It started on the evening of September 13th, 2022. I was buying some food at McDonald's; once I ordered at the self-service ordering kiosk, the machine slowly printed my receipt with the number 999; because it releases & prints the receipt upside down, the first number I saw was 666. Quite spooky if you ask me.A few hours later, I was on a call with my mother since it was my day off. I reminded her that the reason why I'm not able to provide the attention to talk to her on a daily basis (only weekly) is that I get tired from my night shifts at work, and therefore, this makes me sleep during most of the daylight hours (which I'm already used being a night owl). Or maybe because I might have mommy issues; highly probable, but I can't say for certain yet.
Furthermore, I soon discovered the irony, or as some will call it: karma. The words that soon followed my lips were: "Now you're feeling the way I used to feel back when I was in my early-mid teenage years and needed the emotional support from a mother." Without realizing at the moment the pain I caused, what soon followed was a disastrous emotional shutdown on her end.
Although my purpose for me saying those words to her was because I wanted her to feel compassion toward me and give me a break, which I think didn't work at all. Instead, I made her feel depressed and guilty and made matters worse.
However, I still reminded her of all the countless times I've said to her how proud I am of her for being a strong woman in life. Words of encouragement I needed & wished anybody would've told me during the darkest days of my life as an early adolescent growing up in my parent's hometown.
I kid you not; in September, I was considering destroying any emotional attachment/connection with everybody because I thought it was slowing me down in my journey. But when I noticed how I made my mother cry and visualized a future without her, I reflected on the situation carefully.
Considering her recent knee surgery, my little sister moving to NYC, her beloved mother-in-law dying just a week ago, and several struggles with their small business. I now know for certain that my mother needs my help. Therefore, I've now made my mother a priority in my life and must save her from all this chaos going on in her life.
Furthermore, now that my little sister has arrived in NYC, I must now completely sacrifice all bad habits like drinking, smoking, partying, and procrastinating. My freedom will also be somewhat sacrificed, at least temporarily, and it's the price I'm willing to pay to give my sister a better life.
As a result, I can't afford to act at times like a boy anymore, especially now that my 20th birthday is around the corner; I won't be a teenager in my life ever again, which doesn't depress me. On the contrary, It makes me feel excited as the man that I proudly am.
Although without realizing it, I was becoming an arrogant heartless, utterly selfish person. Blinded by my hatred in life for experiencing such a drastic change in environment at the age of 8 and losing the perfect life I had as an innocent child in NYC, I was turning into that which I hate the most, the beast which I'm fighting against in life.
But most importantly, I now have the opportunity to become the person I needed during the worse painful days of my life in middle school, the role model or masculine father figure I hoped for when I was younger. Now I'm able to become that desired person for my parents and siblings.
Part IV: Setbacks/ Mistakes
- Disorganization & confusion of priorities.
Part V: Counterpunches/Accomplishments
BELIEF- 42% Completion of Atomic Habits by James Clear on Kindle
- 150m of Elevate
- 45m
- 3h of soft execution
- 535 Push-ups for August
Part VI: The Future
Fall is my favorite season. Therefore, I'm very optimistic about great things happening in Q4.*Disclaimer:
This content is for entertainment/ informational/ personal purposes only. It was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance. Consider consulting with a professional or a specialist. Take what you think works for you, and discard what doesn't.
In addition, I only do or say what I think will work or currently works for me or where I personally lack; the monthly updates are primarily based on how I choose to respond to whatever this game called life decides to throw at me personally (actual real-life events). What I do obviously doesn't apply to everybody.
I might've or may give advice by accident or request only, or until I become a Legendary Contributor, this is the reason why I'm currently only active a couple of days here every month. Thanks in advance!
CONTENTS
PART 1 (THE PAWN) | THE DESERT OF DESERTION (TUNEF)
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION (March 2022)
ROUND 1
CHAPTER II: IT’S ALIVE!!! (April 2022)
CHAPTER III: HOPE (May 2022)
CHAPTER IV: 4 LIBERTY (June 2022)
ROUND 2
CHAPTER V: INDEPENDENCE MONTH/ CONFESSION (July 2022)
CHAPTER VI: GLORIOUS RAIN (August 2022)
CHAPTER VII: MY BLOOD (September 2022)
ROUND 3
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