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Breaking free from Social Conditioning

Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by AndrewNC, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    “Emptiness is the starting point. In order to taste my cup of water, you must first empty your cup. My friend, drop all of your preconceived and fixed ideas to neutral. Do you know why this cup is useful? Because it is empty.”

    -Bruce Lee


    Break Free from Social Conditioning - March 2013 | Scottsdale, Arizona

    “We should bring back Rites of Passage.” One of the millionaires said, as he took a puff of his cigar.

    The rest of the businessmen in the hotel lounge nodded their heads in agreement.

    “What are Rites of Passage?” I asked, still being the young buck of the crowd.

    Back in the tribal days when humans lived in small villages, it was customary for the tribe to send teenage boys off into the wilderness as a test to see if they could survive for 100 days on their own.

    If he came back after 100 days, he would come back to this same village not as a boy; but as a man. After learning how to survive in the harsh world on his own, he successfully navigated through the right of passage to adulthood.

    If he came running back before the 100 days were up, he would forever be called a boy, regardless of his age.

    “Nowadays, most people are soft. They have everything handed to them, and they don’t know how to survive in the world on their own.” The millionaire continued.

    Social Conditioning

    Every society trains and conditions the people who live in it to abide by a certain set of social norms.

    When you are a child, you were told to listen to your parents. If you didn’t follow their direction, you were punished. For most families, it was in the form of time out. For me, it was called getting slapped with the wooden spoon.

    In school, you were conditioned to follow the rules and listen to authority without question. Your teachers gave you specific assignments by specific deadlines. You have to be in class by the time the bell rings. If you break away from the social norms, you face detention.

    From there, you are conditioned to always do what you are told, whether it’s the government, police officers, or your boss.

    As an entrepreneur, you have nobody above you to tell you what to do, and you have to break free from this social conditioning and learn to step up, as a leader.

    Nobody else is going to give you permission to embark on this journey.

    From a broader perspective, social conditioning is a good thing. These rules turn society into a very efficient machine. There are firefighters to prevent the city from burning to the ground. There are garbage men who keep the streets clean.

    The people in charge did a great job at teaching people how to fit in and do what they are told. Society functions, and things are orderly.

    But at what cost to you?

    1. You pay a fortune to go to school,

    2. You get a job that you may or may not hate,

    3. You get married,

    4. 1.5 kids,

    5. White picket fence and 30-year mortgage,

    6. And then you die.


    I would say that 99% of society plays by the rules of social conditioning.

    But as entrepreneurs, we recognize how devastating this really is. While you may think you have freedom, you are like a slave going through the system, where you don’t get to live life on your own terms.

    “Do you know the scariest part about it?” the businessman continued to preach.

    The student loan bubble is about to burst, the obesity epidemic from the standard American diet, people think diet soda is healthier but don’t realize that it’s nothing more than chemicals, and a million other things.

    Just because everybody else is doing it and most people say it’s normal, doesn’t mean it’s right.

    “Andrew, your first lesson as an entrepreneur is that you’re going to have to break free from social conditioning. You’re going to have to loosen your beliefs on everything you thought to be true growing up.” He said.

    Once again, the rest of the businessmen in the circle nod in agreement.

    It’ll be hard to do because virtually everybody in your life has been brought up inside this same system, and they have no clue what life is like on the outside. In fact, most of them don’t even realize that there is an outside.

    When you try to break free and think for yourself, your friends and family will be the very first ones trying to hold you back.

    They don’t know any better, and you waste your time trying to convince them.

    Most of the lessons you learn on this journey will go against everything you were taught to be true growing up.

    While you were taught to blindly follow the orders of others, and stick with your safe and secure job, we’ll tell you to quit the job and walk in the direction that you want to walk in.

    Breaking free from the village you were born into.

    Think back to those rites of passage in the tribal days.

    You were born into a village where resources were limited. Everybody seemed to be barely getting by, and they weren’t fully satisfied with their lives. If you asked if they enjoyed what they do, the standard answer would be, “It could be worse.”

    As you come up on adulthood, the tribal leaders send you out into the wilderness.

    If you come back before the 100 days, you are forever a child.

    If you come back after the 100 days, you come back as a man. You are given a job and a responsibility to serve the needs of the village. You may like the job or you may not. And you’ll be paid a minimum wage to barely get by.

    “But not everybody comes back...” The man said.

    Before he could finish his sentence, I instinctively finished what I thought he was going to say, “The rest of them die.”

    “Not necessarily.” He said with confidence.

    You see, there is a small percentage of these young men who get sent off into the wilderness, on their own rites of passage and they never come back, but for a different reason.

    On this journey, they have nobody to lean on and they learn how to take control of their lives.

    They face the trials and tribulations of whatever life throws their way. No matter how hard it gets, they are forced to lead themselves, and they keep going.

    It’s these trials and tribulations that build the character traits that will stick with them forever. It also builds the confidence to keep pushing forward, despite having to face overwhelming amounts of obstacles, failures, and adversity.

    They learn through these struggles that no matter what life throws their way; nothing can hold them back.

    And those are the true prizes along the way. It’s these character traits they build while they break free on their own, which will be the very things that lead them to success.

    And eventually, far enough into the wilderness, they come across another village.

    In this new land, the world is filled with abundance. In this new world, there is more than enough to go around. The people who live here have plenty to eat, enjoy their time, and unlike the village they were born into; they don’t have to struggle.

    The people who live here are the ones who successfully broke free from the tribe they were born into, and discovered that there is another to live your life.

    A better way.

    The trials and tribulations they faced along the way built the character traits which were the only requirements to be initiated into this new tribe. These are the people who successful broke free from the social conditioning, and from the system they were born into.

    I’m not going to lie, on this journey, you’ll face things most people won’t ever experience in their lives living inside the system. These thing are inevitable, but it’s what you do when you face them which makes all the difference.

    For the ones who have successfully taken this journey before you, when they look back at tribe they grew up in, all of a sudden they see a life filled with scarcity and limitations. It wasn’t until they broke freebefore they realized that once you embark on this journey, there’s no going back.

    “This is why society should bring back Rites of Passage…” the man continued.

    I see all these people who want to call themselves entrepreneurs. They were born into a society that conditions them to behave and think in only one way.

    It’s like a box they were born into, and couldn’t see out of.

    When someone tries to venture out on their own, their friends and family, who were born into this same limited worldview, do everything in their power to hold them back.

    When society tries to keep them in the village they were born into, does this person have the confidence to keep moving forward? Or do they stick in their comfort zone and continue to follow these social normswithout question, remaining stuck forever.

    Keeping themselves slaving away inside the system...

    Many of the ones who are brave enough to take that next step forward, even in the face of adversity, eventually give up at the first struggle they face. They go running back to the way they were taught to live, because they didn’t see the results of their hard work right away.

    They never even made it past the first trials and tribulations.

    This journey is not for the weak.

    As a result of giving up too soon, they continue to slave away inside the system from the moment they were born, until the day that they die. These are the ones who have it the hardest because deep down, they know that there is another way to live their lives.

    A better way.

    “You say you want to be an entrepreneur. Are you going to continue doing things the way most people does things? Or are you going to be brave enough to lead your own way, listen to the lessons I teach you,break free, and never go back?”, the millionaire asks me.

    The rest of the millionaires, once again, nod in agreement.

    A lot of the things you’re going to learn on this journey are going to go against everything you thought to be true growing up. Resist these new lessons, and your life will stay the same.

    You’ll wake up tomorrow, get stuck in rush hour traffic, and go to the 9-5 job counting down the minutes until the weekend. You’ll forever be a part of the system, because that was the world you were born into.

    But now that you know there is a way out, staying inside will be painful, because deep down, you know there’s another way.

    The only thing worse than being a slave in this system, is being a slave in this system knowing that you have the chance to escape. And you’re free to step out into the unknown at any time.

    If you want to be an entrepreneur, you need to wake up from social conditioning, and realize that many of the things you’ve been taught growing up might be the very same things which have been holding you back all along.

    “Your family, your friends, and your teachers will all tell you one thing. But are they the ones living the life you want to live?” the man questions.

    Or should you put what they tell you aside and learn from an experienced entrepreneur?

    I’m going to teach you what it takes to break free and live the life of your dreams. Some of my lessons are things you may not agree, with while others are immediately apparent.

    Whether you listen to my words or not, the choice is yours.

    The first lesson I learned from these millionaires is that if I wanted to be successful, I had to stop listening to the advice from others who are living a socially conditioned life, and move forward on my journey surrounding myself with others who have walked this path before me.

    It’s time to leave the life I know behind, and step into the wild; embracing the lessons of those who walked this path before me.

    If you want to be successful, you must first surround yourself with success.
     
  2. Gareth
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    Gareth Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Seriously good post.

    Read it at least twice people.
     
  3. BigFrog
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    BigFrog New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    I love this post and the awesome campfire story style. Thanks for posting this.

    Ten years ago I quit a successful career in software working in a stable job with a very large defense contractor. I'll never forget
    the day I put in my notice. I had finally come to a point where I knew in my heart that I just could not do it any longer, not even for
    one more day. I started my own company that year and since then I've been barely scraping by freelancing, taking odd jobs,
    contracts, and even went back to a full time position once - until I was laid off a short 6 months later. I've doubted that decision to
    quit so many freaking times over the past ten years. For many years I wondered WHY I had actually made that decision. And it's
    only recently have I come to understand that on that fateful day I truly realized that there was a better village on the other side of the
    desert. I just KNEW, with certainty, so I set out to reach that village with much bravado, but without map nor compass. Thanks
    to people like you, MJ, and countless others who have reached that village, I now have a map. And a compass. I just need to start
    taking the right steps.
     
  4. PTP
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    PTP Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    This quote really struck home.

    So often we put so much emphasis on what those around us have to say. This is because we have been socially conditioned from a young age to listen to their opinions.

    However, I have never personally stopped to think, "really how valuable is this person's advice?" Just because they give advice, doesn't mean it should be heeded.

    You wouldn't take dating advice from someone who has never had a long term relationship. Yet, everyone and their dog is always eager to give out their opinions on how to date.

    The same is true for businesses. What do non-business owners know about running a business other than that is is "risky" and that "90% of startups fail"? So why take their advice to heart?

    Great write up, it really got me thinking!
     
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  5. dave773
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    dave773 Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    If my rep bank was not so low I'd give more but I need to keep emergency funds!

    I am trying to escape my village now. I broke free once, survived in the wilderness and learnt a lot..but after some poor decisions I returned after 99days. Still as a boy though I did not realise it. This time, I thought I could go after what I wanted back in the village, where food/shelter is provided and it is safe.. but it has gotten to a point where the only way of growing is finding that second village.
     
  6. Mineralogic
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    Mineralogic Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    who wrote this? Is it in a book?
     
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  7. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I wrote this the other week - And yes - in a book I published (as of january 10th, the paperback version isn't updated from my first version of the book - but it's in the kindle edition) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NHHPOKY

    Just kind of documented my journey through the struggles of entrepreneurship and sharing the book's content around the internet. Thought this post would apply to this forum.
     
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  8. Mineralogic
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    Mineralogic Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    nice wording my man. When will BOOK be updated in paperback? I hate EBOOKS as I surf enough, use PDFS online enough for work for example. I am one of those people who want a real book to focus on. I also use audible so no way I'm anti tech.
     
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  9. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    You get this with any decision of substance. I think it's the pull toward mediocrity. People need to tell themselves "that's just the way it is", because it silences the nagging internal question: Did I f*ck up?

    That and there's all the straight up broke mofos that can't help but give you financial advice. I just tune them out. Same as when that fat lady behind me in line at the building deli starts dishing out diet tips.
     
  10. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    As soon as Amazon gets around to closing the support ticket! Ill let you know :)
     
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  11. Mineralogic
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    Mineralogic Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    and right after BEZOS is done sending out his next WA Post hit piece! HA
     
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