Another "Friend" Down The Drain. Jealousy or Resentment?

[Dan Da Man]

Why do people (you) care about the thoughts of others so much that you get angry about it and write it on a forum?

Friends are only good for business reasons or to have a good time. A good friend to tell your secrets will always be there (I have 1 good friend, maybe 2)

Why do you care so much to offer worthless advice?

If you have nothing to offer then leave. Pretty simple bro

And its called frustration. Maybe you are made off solid brick but some off us have emotions.

Friends who you have called friends for ten years and would bend over backwards for, say hurtful things that just simply don't understand. It didnt just happen once and although I could care less about what they say, it is the fact that I have pulled myself away from all those people, leaving myself pretty lonely.

Act all hard and cool I guess I am just a pussy. Make sense cool guy?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Make sense cool guy?

I think "cool guy" is a woman ... just an FYI.

 

[Dan Da Man]

I think "cool guy" is a woman ... just an FYI.

OOps.. My bad lol

 

[Lights]

Why do you care so much to offer worthless advice?

If you have nothing to offer then leave. Pretty simple bro

And its called frustration. Maybe you are made off solid brick but some off us have emotions.

Friends who you have called friends for ten years and would bend over backwards for, say hurtful things that just simply don't understand. It didnt just happen once and although I could care less about what they say, it is the fact that I have pulled myself away from all those people, leaving myself pretty lonely.

Act all hard and cool I guess I am just a pussy. Make sense cool guy?

My advice isn't useless, even if you think it is, I only discuss things that I know what I am speaking about. I wouldn't talk about politics because then I am useless, but real unconditional love friends do not exist in my opinion. You think they are, because they only like the version of you that they think they do know. People grow up with judgements of others, and social values, and they stick to them like glue. People are biased. I am open-minded about things, but most people are not. Whatever makes you happy is fine with me.

I don't think your a pussy, never said that. If you think you are, sorry.

Maybe I am harden by life? Maybe. I am better off that way that's for sure, since I don't get emotional about the hate of others. I am full of happiness with no negativity of society, and my life, and the negativity that I do have is frustration with myself for my own actions. The thoughts of others do not matter to me. If you do not accept, then I will end all contact with you. Simple as that. You want to be on my journey, then get on the bandwagon.

My mother always tell me "You're so cold... I didn't raise you to be that way." So if I am cold, then I rather be cold then crying about "oh what do my friends think of me! He rejected me boo hoo", "oh what will they say!", "Oh they think less of me, maybe I should follow their direction, and hold their hand". F, that. Life is too short, if you're not hurting anyone, then you got to do what you have too. Live your life only for yourself, don't listen to the naysayers.

I am control of my own universe. My life is like a never-ending painting, and once you are useless to me, I will paint you over with someone new. If I really need to forget you I can. If my mother doesn't support me in my dream, then I can forget about her, as hard as it will be, I must... since my dream is the only substance I can held onto. You're not lonely in a world of 6 billion people. The true friends will accept you for whatever you do, the fake friends won't. (for a better word "fake", they aren't fake, but they are prejudice against the thing you want. They are not suitable for you in this existence, so it's best to avoid them)

I don't act hard. I just enjoy a friendship while it last before it ends, since this life isn't a fairy tale. Not everything has a happy ending. People will reject you for anything, but you have to push through and be your own person.

 

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[Kak]

Find supportive friends. If friends of mine started started with that crap id tell them to mind their own damn business.

If they continued id tell them to GFTS.

 

[Dan Da Man]

My advice isn't useless, even if you think it is, I only discuss things that I know what I am speaking about. I wouldn't talk about politics because then I am useless, but real unconditional love friends do not exist in my opinion. You think they are, because they only like the version of you that they think they do know. People grow up with judgements of others, and social values, and they stick to them like glue. People are biased. I am open-minded about things, but most people are not. Whatever makes you happy is fine with me.

I don't think your a pussy, never said that. If you think you are, sorry.

Maybe I am harden by life? Maybe. I am better off that way that's for sure, since I don't get emotional about the hate of others. I am full of happiness with no negativity of society, and my life, and the negativity that I do have is frustration with myself for my own actions. The thoughts of others do not matter to me. If you do not accept, then I will end all contact with you. Simple as that. You want to be on my journey, then get on the bandwagon.

My mother always tell me "You're so cold... I didn't raise you to be that way." So if I am cold, then I rather be cold then crying about "oh what do my friends think of me! He rejected me boo hoo", "oh what will they say!", "Oh they think less of me, maybe I should follow their direction, and hold their hand". F, that. Life is too short, if you're not hurting anyone, then you got to do what you have too. Live your life only for yourself, don't listen to the naysayers.

I am control of my own universe. My life is like a never-ending painting, and once you are useless to me, I will paint you over with someone new. If I really need to forget you I can. If my mother doesn't support me in my dream, then I can forget about her, as hard as it will be, I must... since my dream is the only substance I can held onto. You're not lonely in a world of 6 billion people. The true friends will accept you for whatever you do, the fake friends won't. (for a better word "fake", they aren't fake, but they are prejudice against the thing you want. They are not suitable for you in this existence, so it's best to avoid them)

I don't act hard. I just enjoy a friendship while it last before it ends, since this life isn't a fairy tale. Not everything has a happy ending. People will reject you for anything, but you have to push through and be your own person.

Again, I understand and agree with a lot of what you say but you act like nothing frustrates you in life? I was frustrated so I posted this to see if others had been in a similar situation. You see, it is just nice to know others have dealt with retards like what I have dealt with.

I wasn't looking for sympathy or someone to cry on their shoulder, because honestly I have no friends nor do I need any. I have a dream and anyone in the way of my dream can F*ck off! But I am a pretty amazing person who would do so much for others and I only expect the best in return. When I don't get the best, I get disappointed. Just like when I know I am not giving it my all, I am disappointed with myself.

So, I guess I am crying boo hoo and looking for people to pat me on the shoulder or whatever you think. Because in the end, no one has ever done shit for me and I am where I am at because of myself.

You can act like you don't get frustrated and don't cry but I do have emotions. Emotions that make me genuine and why I don't think you have anything to offer me. Thanks for trying though.

I like your avatar btw. Very cute.

 

[Dan Da Man]

Find supportive friends. If friends of mine started started with that crap id tell them to mind their own damn business.

If they continued id tell them to GFTS.

I agree. I don't tell anyone what I do because it opens myself up for someone to start offering their worthless advice. I learned to shut up and don't show excitement or passion. People who are envious hate that lol

 

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[Lights]

Again, I understand and agree with a lot of what you say but you act like nothing frustrates you in life? I was frustrated so I posted this to see if others had been in a similar situation. You see, it is just nice to know others have dealt with retards like what I have dealt with.

I wasn't looking for sympathy or someone to cry on their shoulder, because honestly I have no friends nor do I need any. I have a dream and anyone in the way of my dream can F*ck off! But I am a pretty amazing person who would do so much for others and I only expect the best in return. When I don't get the best, I get disappointed. Just like when I know I am not giving it my all, I am disappointed with myself.

So, I guess I am crying boo hoo and looking for people to pat me on the shoulder or whatever you think. Because in the end, no one has ever done shit for me and I am where I am at because of myself.

You can act like you don't get frustrated and don't cry but I do have emotions. Emotions that make me genuine and why I don't think you have anything to offer me. Thanks for trying though.

I like your avatar btw. Very cute.

lol I use to cry like 4-5 months ago.... not about friends but about the meaning of my existence. I didn't see a purpose in living, to work/to go to college/to pay bills... it's all so lame. At least for me. I also felt fat/ugly (I felt like that for the past what, 10 yrs now)...

Then it clicked to me, it wasn't instantly, but I knew my life was going to end soon one day relatively speaking; 100 yrs is nothing. My time on here is fleeting.... there's no purpose to this life, it's just meant to be "lived". Life is playground for dreams to happen, it's meant for enjoyment, happiness, pleasure, "imagination life is your creation!" type deal. I don't think there's an after life, or a before life, maybe reincarnation but who knows. I don't know the mysteries or the "nothingness" of life.

I exist right now, in this moment, today... and right now I want to be wealthy, and happy. Happiness for me isn't what makes you happy though. So it's all based on perspective. I believe in a higher power, but I don't have a clue what it is.

So hmm... friends come and go, but 'you' are the only person you wake up each day to day.

I only had 2-3 good friends in my life, but I had no friends prior to 18. I thought I was the weirdest person on the planet, my family drilled it into my head, but I am not that weird. I could fit in with most people, at least I think so. Most people like me, I think it's because I let people be who they really are, and they feel open to me. I hold no judgements about people. You are accepted, and people see something that they lost from living. I don't want to say innocence, since I know the world, but it's like I see the beauty of a new day, of rain, of dreams. I believe in the impossible, and I live and breath this energy of hope. People lose hope, and become indentured servants to their jobs, and lives. If I ever hated my reality, I can always reinvent and change, and start all over.

The best way to explain this, I see living as a virtual reality. It's all a game to me to play. I don't take it that seriously, just enjoy it for what it is. I am the least negativity person ever, people can call me horrible names/insult me/whatever0, and I don't care. I don't hate people, it's not something I can truly do. It's because the moment is fleeting, their words mean nothing, all that matters is how I feel. And I love myself.

That's Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, my childhood obsessions in my avatar.

 

[GlobalWealth]

no job for 12 yrs and that's what I get.

I'm 38 now and haven't had an hourly or salary job since I was 19. And yet somehow I manage to put the beenie-weenies on the table every night.

 

[Kak]

I'm 38 now and haven't had an hourly or salary job since I was 19. And yet somehow I manage to put the beenie-weenies on the table every night.

Hell yeah man.

19 was my last job too. Im hoping I can ramp up my current venture so I never have to have a job again.

 

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[GlobalWealth]

Hell yeah man.

19 was my last job too. Im hoping I can ramp up my current venture so I never have to have a job again.

Thanks. I have had various businesses over the years so my viewpoint is a bit skewed. I have always been an 'eat what you kill' kinda guy. That last 'job' was waiting tables at a restaurant at about $2/h + tips. After that I was doing contract, commission only sales, then started a business, then another, and another....

I don't disparage a job for the sake of the job. For the right opportunity, I wouldn't turn it down (of course it would need to be a DAMN good opportunity at this point), but I wouldn't take it unless on my own terms - freedom of schedule, no office, lots of upside to income, etc.

Oh wait, that's starting to sound like entrepreneurship....nevermind.

 

[Dan Da Man]

Thanks. I have had various businesses over the years so my viewpoint is a bit skewed. I have always been an 'eat what you kill' kinda guy. That last 'job' was waiting tables at a restaurant at about $2/h + tips. After that I was doing contract, commission only sales, then started a business, then another, and another....

I don't disparage a job for the sake of the job. For the right opportunity, I wouldn't turn it down (of course it would need to be a DAMN good opportunity at this point), but I wouldn't take it unless on my own terms - freedom of schedule, no office, lots of upside to income, etc.

Oh wait, that's starting to sound like entrepreneurship....nevermind.

What the life right? People think it's so easy though. Yes, I would never ever change this lifestyle but how bad did I want it? I am sure I wanted it ten times more than 99% of the people who try. That is what makes entrepreneurs. Who wouldn't love this lifestyle? But just like everything we are tested to see how bad we want it. How many things will you sacrifice? How many times will you fail? How much money will you "loose"? How much other baggage will you endure to reach that dream lifestyle? Every time I would hit a hump, I would cross off another 10% of people who wouldn't have stuck around.

Believing in the struggle is the most soothing belief I have realized. Believing that the struggle is part of the process. But, I enjoy struggle and I enjoy it because of the strength and courage you get from every struggle. I am a totally different person before becoming an entrepreneur I can tell you that.

Sorry for the off subject lol. THe lifestyle is amazing but not for everyone.

 

[LamboMP]

I have gotten rid of so many friends, some of them are so jealous that is REEKS out of them. Just don't associate with them anymore, not worth the time and headaches.

 

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[theDarkness]

As harsh as it may sound, when reaching for higher ground, when trying to make a bigger contribution to the world, at a certain point it sometimes becomes necessary to drop the excess baggage from your life and to get around more likeminded people. The second part of the previous sentence is already underway since you're here.

Yeah. And even if you don't drop them completely, they need to be distanced to the point that their inertia doesn't affect you.

I noticed this my freshmen year of college. We had this really close group of like 12 friends and I loved them dearly. However they lnew my goals and my work habits; they knew from the start I wasn't in this to work a crap 9-5 and go home and watch crappy movies for six hours. They were all great people so the subtle resistance they showed once my work started to pay off was really hurtful. They KNEW when I'd be working and how important my work was to me, and yet they'd intentionally do whatever they could to throw me off track. They see YOU working hard for something they want, they see themselves wasting every night eating junk and lolling to rifftracks and just generally wallowing in their boredom, and they want to pull you back down to their level so they can stop feeling bad.

The funny part is none of that started UNTIL I won some very minor recognition for what I was doing. My work habits were the same, so pragmatically nothing was any different in terms of how my time was being spent, but man did the resistance ramp up after that point.

It just clicked in my head one day that any friend who is constantly tugging you in the wrong direction is not much of a friend, and there's no reason to put up with it. And so I no longer did. A few of them I still cherish as friends, but the rest are just the occasionally go out to eat and catch up types.



And of course there's exceptions to this. I'm generally only talking about friends who want to drag you down with their "slowlane" mentality of always wasting time. They want you to waste your time, because that's just how they think the world is. Friends who are merely self-destructive I love. They're probably pushing you in the wrong direction too, but it doesn't feel insidious, and you can kinda tell they don't really want to be that way. And watching them explore their potential once they shake it off is too awesome.


But anyway I met a novelist once who described this as the "I'm a surfer" syndrome. You see an old friend and he's like, hey man what you up to these days. And if you respond with something that implies you took responsibility for your life and how you spend it, and he's still doing that insurance thing he hates, instantly there's this new nasty dynamic. You say "I surf!" and he's like no, I mean what do you really do? And if you reply explaining how no, you really are making great money surfing, they feel like you are somehow a scammer, that you have "cheated." This novelist said he eventually just started saying things like "Oh I'm in English these days," or "I'm in publishing."

 

[reinvent]

Biz,
You are absolutely right. When you are not doing the norm people will find it easy to judge you as being a dreamer or lazy because you dont want to work 60. Hours a week for forty years. My friends and family have seen me try everything from inventing to various small businesses without great success and i know they think im crazy. When i put all the lessons from my successes and failure together i think they will understand that thats what it takes to hit the big one.

 

[Skys]

If you can't let a friend be honoust about his worries you are the bad friend, not him for telling he worries about you. Having people that worry about you is a blessing, not a burden. Some of my friends have been there for more then 10 years. They gave me honoust opinions and then they accepted my decisions. I did the same with them.

The subject in MJ's book about headwinds is true. People can be a burden in your life. A negative influence should be dumped. But I don't think MJ meant that you should never have disagreements about your friends choices and that they have to accept whatever you do with your life.

Maybe, just maybe, your friend made some very good points. Why would you be so angry if you are 100% sure you are right? Let's take an extreme example. You have gambling addiction. Your friend is worried about you and he tells you how you are destroying your life. Would u acknowledge what he is saying? Would u listen?

 

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[Kak]

What is down the drown? I have been wondering.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

What is down the drown?

Fixed. (Drown to Drain).

 

[The-J]

It's funny, cuz most people my age have 75-100% disposable income. Every dime they make, they spend. It's hard to find someone my age who will save up their money. So Ryan's efforts have been really impressive to me.

I can't hang with those people, and when I do, it's very sparingly. I dropped over $100 on one night in NYC. That was just food and drinks. I can't do that every weekend like my friends can. And I know that $100 isn't a lot, but when you're trying to save every penny during the lean times in business building, it's all you have.

In the same vein, I wouldn't be able to hang out with a retired Fastlaner. They don't care! They'll drop $10,000 in Vegas and not give a F*ck.

I'll be at B+P when 1) I'm legal in the US and 2) I have money to drop on drinks and hotels.

 

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[Skys]

It's funny, cuz most people my age have 75-100% disposable income. Every dime they make, they spend. It's hard to find someone my age who will save up their money. ......... I can't hang with those people, and when I do, it's very sparingly.

Why can't you hang with people that spend their money? I try to spend my time with a variaty of people. Some are spenders, and I enjoy my time highly with them. Hard workers, housewives.. When you get older, it gets way more important that people are just real and honoust about who they are and how your connection is with them.. then some mindset that has to be the same to be friends. You don't have to work with them, you are friends with them. Friends have a positive influence on your life, and to me it doesn't matter much if they have a 'save' or a 'spend' mentality. Who cares they like to spend money on stuff..? If they are honoust, caring people? Focus on you.

 

[FastNAwesome]

I also felt fat/ugly (I felt like that for the past what, 10 yrs now)

Well if you're a woman, that's pretty much standard software you run in your head And it's probably not true

Life is playground for dreams to happen

Like. PLAY LIFE LIKE DREAM...

 

[The-J]

Why can't you hang with people that spend their money? I try to spend my time with a variaty of people. Some are spenders, and I enjoy my time highly with them. Hard workers, housewives.. When you get older, it gets way more important that people are just real and honoust about who they are and how your connection is with them.. then some mindset that has to be the same to be friends. You don't have to work with them, you are friends with them. Friends have a positive influence on your life, and to me it doesn't matter much if they have a 'save' or a 'spend' mentality. Who cares they like to spend money on stuff..? If they are honoust, caring people? Focus on you.

I can talk to them and be friends with them, I just can't go out with them because if they spend money, I have to spend money. What am I going to do, sit in the restaurant and not eat? Walk instead of take the subway with them?

It's not that they are bad people, or irresponsible people, it's just that I can't afford to hang with them!

 

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[Kak]

Fixed. (Drown to Drain).

LMAO

 

[Skys]

I can talk to them and be friends with them, I just can't go out with them because if they spend money, I have to spend money. What am I going to do, sit in the restaurant and not eat? Walk instead of take the subway with them?

It's not that they are bad people, or irresponsible people, it's just that I can't afford to hang with them!

So, you can't hang out with the same friends cheaply? You can't persuade them into going to a cheaper restaurant? or just take a coffee in the city, going to the movies or having a drink at the bar?

 

[Dan Da Man]

If you can't let a friend be honoust about his worries you are the bad friend, not him for telling he worries about you. Having people that worry about you is a blessing, not a burden. Some of my friends have been there for more then 10 years. They gave me honoust opinions and then they accepted my decisions. I did the same with them.

The subject in MJ's book about headwinds is true. People can be a burden in your life. A negative influence should be dumped. But I don't think MJ meant that you should never have disagreements about your friends choices and that they have to accept whatever you do with your life.

Maybe, just maybe, your friend made some very good points. Why would you be so angry if you are 100% sure you are right? Let's take an extreme example. You have gambling addiction. Your friend is worried about you and he tells you how you are destroying your life. Would u acknowledge what he is saying? Would u listen?

100% disagree with you here. See, I know what you are thinking but you haven't experienced what I have experienced. The friends that I "had" were not looking out for me. They were not wishing the best for me. They were simply trying to stop me from living out my dreams. They were trying to stop me from pushing the limits and going against everything they had bought into.

Here I am with no business degree doing what I want to do. Living my dream. THe others are miserable. Sitting at home, doing the 9-5, not happy or going to school hoping to start their own business 10 years from now.

I guess you dont know the extent of their words or their reactions but to sum it up they would tell me that in order to own my own business, I needed to go to business school ( I graduated college with a recreation degree) than go to law school, than work for a business for 10-15 years, than i could open my own business. They would say things like this and "dude, when are you going to get a real job" and "just give up already". Anyone that tells me that they care for me are just plain RETARDED! No, this is not how you care for someone.

I am not doing harm to anyone. I am not doing drugs, meth, cocaine or hurting myself in any way. It is because I choose to do the business over them and I choose to start a business which they wished they could do (which they have said many times) but do not have the F*ckin guts to do it. So instead of being happy for those who choose to live out their dreams regardless of what it is or how long it takes as long as it is not affecting anyone in a negative matter, as a friend they should be supportive. All that negativity is draining and I could not put up with it anymore. I would even go far enough to not mention one dam thing about my business or anything that could even remotely bring up a conversation about my business or what I do.

These people are all the same. Maybe you have been lucky enough to have good friends who actually care about you but these are people who care about you only if you do not threaten them and their lack of doing anything tough.

If I had listen to any of these people, I would not be where I am today and I am sure many others would not be where they were too if they had listen to the negative advices of these so called "friends".

I don't think it is any person's obligation to give advice on a subject unless warranted. These people had no idea in what I was doing and had not spend one minute in my shoes and therefore their advice is not warranted what so ever especially when the advice is just telling someone to give up over and over again. I have made decent money, learned a shit load and been offered jobs that would make twice as much as these people.

Until you are in my shoes and had every single friend/person you know telling you not to do something or giving you negative feedback on something when you know it will work and it is working, than we can talk. Otherwise, I don't think your advice is warranted as well.

Learn some psychology. People displace their own insecurities to others. Someone starting their own business is an easy target. Anyone else that thinks that my friends just care about me etc.., please don't respond because you have not been there so you don't know the feeling. Those who have been there, please respond and I am sure we can relate in many ways

 

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[Dan Da Man]

LMAO

Yeah my bad lol. I think I was a little upset when i posted this. Typing and thinking when your upset doesn't work well

 

[Skys]

100% disagree with you here. See, I know what you are thinking but you haven't experienced what I have experienced.

I don't think it is any person's obligation to give advice on a subject unless warranted.

I grown up within a family that disliked me for everything I did and everything I was just because my mother dumped their family member, my father. So yeah, maybe I am not warranted. I mean, you lost all your 'friends' that you allowed in your life, you lost all your friends that you picked yourself and they seem to be very unsupportive people. I only had to deal with a family I did not choose to have, as a child until I grew up and made the decision to not deal with them any longer. I choose my friends wisely, which results in having great and supportive friends. Even when I decided to persue a music carreer, they supported me all the way. So yeah. Next time you get angry because somebody gives you advice you don't want to hear, take a good look at yourself. You are the reason you are where you are. Not your friends. You choose them. That has nothing to do with luck. That's knowledge of people, knowledge who you want in your life and who you don't want in your life.

Good luck making new friends. Choose wisely next time.

 

[The-J]

So, you can't hang out with the same friends cheaply? You can't persuade them into going to a cheaper restaurant? or just take a coffee in the city, going to the movies or having a drink at the bar?

...have you BEEN to NYC? Dropping $100 on a night IS living cheaply there!

 

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[Skys]

right. I forgot throwing Frisbee in the park is expensive

 

[Dan Da Man]

I grown up within a family that disliked me for everything I did and everything I was just because my mother dumped their family member, my father. So yeah, maybe I am not warranted. I mean, you lost all your 'friends' that you allowed in your life, you lost all your friends that you picked yourself and they seem to be very unsupportive people. I only had to deal with a family I did not choose to have, as a child until I grew up and made the decision to not deal with them any longer. I choose my friends wisely, which results in having great and supportive friends. Even when I decided to persue a music carreer, they supported me all the way. So yeah. Next time you get angry because somebody gives you advice you don't want to hear, take a good look at yourself. You are the reason you are where you are. Not your friends. You choose them. That has nothing to do with luck. That's knowledge of people, knowledge who you want in your life and who you don't want in your life.

Good luck making new friends. Choose wisely next time.

Sorry about that. Well, it seems that you might have had it a lot worse than me then. My mom is super supported so I do not know that feeling.

But yeah, your right. I need to choose people more wisely