Advice: Has Anyone Groomed Themselves to Enter The American Elite?

[chuckypita]

To "socially groom oneself into the elite" isn't necessary for an unscripted person to do philanthropic work. Working class folk such as my parents were had more class than any one I ever met from a so called higher class. Manners maketh the man. Money is handy to have to say no to social pressure and live how you wish.

Where one gives respect - one gets respect. If you've ever read THICK FACE - BLACK HEART.... you'll know that "elite" is already within you.

 

[XxThelionxX]

It seems unique but I’d do it
They say the way you do one thing is how you do everything. And of course being around public you want to be at your best. It seems viable, not easy but well worth it.

Maybe a little class wouldn’t hurt!

I picked up some bad habits like being a mess...maybe not so much in public.

There is this success mechanism that works for you, your brain pretty much on over drive in those situations. I would personally like some guidelines to have though so I wouldn’t be a stick in the mud per say


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[jon.a]

All it takes is being sincere and polite.
There is a reason they call trappings, trappings.

This answer was too superficial. We're just barely rich. I leave the super rich alone.

 

[TinyOldLady]

Also, the people are FAR more interesting.

Can you give some examples?

 

[I AM THE SENATE]

That article is outright nonsense.

Would you care to expound? I'm not defending it, I'm here to learn.

 

[loop101]

Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.

If you are going to "come in to wealth soon", there is a guy on this forum that sometimes talks about the danger of "wealth events". You might want to listen to him. He lives out in the desert, goes by the name something-something Kenobi. Has a Landspeeder.

 

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[Vigilante]

To get more back on track, when Mrs.jon and I got thrown to the wolves, I did buy us a business etiquette book.

Any specific book recommendation?

 

[Guest3722A]

I got this one...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0071811265/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

Done. Thank you.

 

[Vigilante]

I really like "Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands". Yes it's primarily a sales book, but mostly it teaches you to be mindful no matter where you are on the planet.

That one I have read

 

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[Raoul Duke]

Most of the wealthy people I hang out with wear flip flops...

Wasted away again in Margaritaville?

 

[Mattie]

Wow, that's a horrifically stereotypical and insulting assertion...

As someone who grew up poor, I like to think that I -- and many of those I knew who were in similar financial circumstances -- had (and valued) my self-worth.

I think it may be the definition of what you believe is poor, your neighborhood, and geographical location. And I understand some families are on welfare for three or four generations.

I've been in the non-profits. It may sound stereo typical, but I've tried to help people myself. When I moved I gave someone an almost new bedroom set, and watched them use it in a bon-fire.

I gave other people things and watched them. Frankly, when you're conditioned generation after generation, your mindset can be where you don't value materialism and money.

If they valued themselves, they wouldn't be in the streets, stealing, fighting over a few dollars, and in in 2014 and 2016, I lost two of my friends to gun shot wounds over thugs stealing from them.

So, I'm glad your experience was a good one in poverty. For many they are in constant survival mode, they don't have the coping skills, life skills, and all you have to do is look at any neighborhood where their is a lot of violence.

This is a mindset and mentality. And blaming other people for their circumstances. I have one friend right now in the homeless shelter who wants to start a vlog of the experience.

I don't think people really have a clue unless they're associated with non-profits. When I graduated, I had the opportunity to be a parent mentor and go in and train them. That lasted one day, because the grant got cut, and I didn't mind because I understood it was a dangerous job.

In your version of poverty, it may be something completely different. Stereotypical is a word people keep throwing around. When you're speaking of social groups, there's always a label, statistics, and and your reports. I don't make the labels to describe groups, and just because I use a label, doesn't mean all fit in a one size fits all box. The world uses labels, categories, niches, genres to label things in Entrepreneurship.

If you're "Too Sensitive" and "Too Emotional" about labels, emotionally detach yourself from them and don't make them personal about yourself. Those are two more trigger words for you get over, since because they're just words, and if you're polarized by words, and being triggered, that means you still have some inner work to do.

I'm an INFJ and not all about that, but fortunately, it doesn't matter how sensitive, empathetic, understanding, compassionate I am, someone still get triggered by words.

And I can't make everyone in the world happy and watch every word I say to fit every person just right. You can't make everyone happy, write all the most perfect sentences, and people just need to get a "Tough Skin."

If you think INFJ is stereo typical and said it in a nice way, how do you think you'll respond to a dominate Extrovert who gives Zero f's about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I think this is the point. I talk too people all the time, and "I don't ever understand." I have to laugh because I can only imagine how the dominate Extroverts think and feel when they deal with my personality type, and I am one of them just matured.

I can tell you there is a mindset difference in all three groups and I also was a in-home nurse aide. I can tell you they all differently, and they all think differently, and so best case scenario, go volunteer in a non-profit for a year, and get a different perspective, because if you're just going by your family and your neighborhood, than it's a limited point of view.

You can even see in different forums like I do just in relationships. I have different groups I'm in and you can see a complete difference in my feeds how the different groups think and cope with relationships from low end to the high end. And the way I address those groups are quite different, because I have to adapt and adjust to their mentality, and re-word things so they don't get polarized by me too much. This is a higher consciousness forum, so I shouldn't have to adjust as much in here.

I've been in enough social groups the last 8 years to know the difference in mindset, and of course it's why I come in here, because if I hung out in some of the other one's full time, my mind would get lazy, I would become unmotivated, and just sit back and do nothing but play video games, complain about it all, gossip, and waste my time waiting for life to happen.

I'm not a mean person at all, but I get irritated with people, because everyone loves having fun and a good time, but when life hits hard, they find themselves either sinking or swimming, and have to make a deliberate choice to do something different or get the same outcome.

Sorry, If I trigger you, but that's usually the way it works and I won't be the first or the last. Life is about opposition. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, their perception, their point of view, and experience. It's important to be neutral about these things and understand the world has various belief systems, concepts, and theories. What you believe you conceive ~ Napoleon Hill.

 

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[Mattie]

The simple gesture of pouring wine into the ladies glass is just absurd nowadays for a lot of people

Ah...yes I was reading they like it out of cans now instead of bottles. I'm a hopeless romantic of Generation X. As I stated the other day on another site, "Do we have to change every detail of life even down to the pin drop?" I keep referring back to the aftermath of the 60's when Baby Boomers did the same thing, and hour generation was breaking out on our terms. I think we all go through this phase. Breaking out of the mold, becomes the Wild Wild West in some ways. The day romance is dead, I'll stop being a poet, artist, and literary writer. Until than I'll pour wine out of a bottle, light my candles while I write, and spread the romantic ideals. lol

 

[ApparentHorizon]

Interesting proper etiquette things that I have observed, was surprised by, and began doing with my wife.

Man holds door for woman, but walks ahead of her into an establishment. Kind of a protective thing like the road side of the sidewalk.

Man orders food for the woman. Kind of a pain in the a$$, but proper. "The lady will have X" she usually will answer any questions the waiter or waitress will have.

Man stands up (or a "half rise") at the table when a woman gets up to walk away or is about to sit down.

Man holds the chairs for a woman until she is seated, not just pull it out for her.

What age group did you observe this in?

This is largely unheard of among millennials, especially the silicon valley types.

 

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[rollerskates]

Not everyone is either rich or poor, and rich doesn't mean manners and poor doesn't mean ghetto. There's a huge range of people in between. I mostly know people with money, high income slowlaners, like doctors and lawyers, and some old money people. I know some modest income people too, and I am myself am...not wealthy. However, everyone I know is well educated and has manners, regardless of their level of income. Ironically, my knowledge of "rich people" stuff is what will make my current project lucrative if it pans out.

I definitely recommend some type of finishing school if you can afford it. Also google things about "old money" manners and style. And while all of this may sound pretentious to some people, it's never wrong to be able to seamlessly blend with your surroundings.

And millennials....

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLpE1Pa8vvI

 

[Late Bloomer]

In general, my handwritten notes might have these pointers in order:

This is a really interesting and thoughtful thing to do! Thank you! I'm thinking that I should learn from your example, and get in the handwritten notes habit myself.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

I completed a cotillion class when I was young and still use a lot of the formal manners today.

I didn't even know the word cotillion. About a third of the formal dining rules they mention relate to a more expensive, elaborate, traditionalist social circle than I've ever been involved with. How interesting that there is a training program to put people at ease with knowing the rules.

Totally agree with the rest of your post, especially about respect for the social context, and the fact that this can be thought of in marketing terms.

 

[Rich Wood]

First off - very happy for you.
Where comes much power or wealth comes much responsibility.
Stay passionate with what interests you, give back, use your time wisely, and get out and do good in the world.
Be careful not to trust those who seek your money or power for their benefit only, especially ones who haven't made it themselves.
Participate in activities that you like, even supporting your local college or community efforts can be very rewarding.

 

[LittleWolfie]

Nope.

If something like accidentally misspelling the decision maker's name in an email or using "like" too many times in a conversation, breaks the deal, my product is prob crap anyway. Or average at best.

Though I'm curious what constitutes as poor vs rich etiquette, that can't be attributed to just being a decent person.

Which hand you hold the fork in, if your shoes match your belt, when you wear a cravat rather than a bow tie. How you introduce yourself to others. When you say marm as in jam and when as in marmalade. When you say Esquire, how you finish a meal that involves sauce. If your 'mother' do you serve form the left or the right?

Do you add tea to milk or milk to tea.(the answer is never coffee perculator instead)

Which side you holster your sword (or for Americans guns)

 

[The Abundant Man]

American Elite?

 

[XxThelionxX]

Another observation from these circles...

You don't get judged for your wealth in the upper class. You can be judged, however, for being a slob.

Your wealth WILL be talked about and judged by the working and middle classes. Upper-middle-class circles are some of the worst about judging each other's wealth and the keeping up with the jones crap. (Like the hypothetical doctor I mentioned above.)

It sounds like you’ve been in many situations like this. Sounds like an interesting life.

Far from being a slob

I haven’t been in near enough situations like this to know how I would act. That would be a lot of pressure, and I think I would explode...

How would you go about getting into more situations like this?




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[XxThelionxX]

You have to provide so much perceived value that they want to talk to you more than you want to talk to them.

Haha yeah!

I’ve been trying to become that person... Mostly going after smaller challenges. Getting comfortable with people in general.

Getting social skills is no small matter. And navigating this jungle isn’t easy.

I found out that I’m still a novice, soo I’m going to try and find out if I can be goal driven. Putting a certain dollar amount on my wall.

So far I’ve been trying to learn sales, and marketing. It seems kind of hopeless since I can’t take enough action on what I’ve learned, and my family just is non-responsive to most of the stuff I’m trying to learn. I’m still progressing so I’m humbly greatful for that. Anything but being in this stagnant state

I’ve been doing this ten calls a day and it’s been really been beneficial-I learned it from a book.

Oh! And I hear as long as your taking enough action! Giving it your all. Most bad behaviors auto-correct

I’m guessing this success mechanism we have in our brain-ei. A squirrel doesn’t need to LEARN to go up a tree to get a nut. We just need to be put in these high pressure situations


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[I AM THE SENATE]

Interesting thread. I just read this article in the Atlantic that might be of interest to you. I personally am a lower class guy born and raised and I'm barely middle class, but I'm always interested in how other people think.


The 9.9 Percent Is the New American Aristocracy

 

[Process]

Indeed, my eldest son will bill named Process Jr. and his eldest will be Process III. Our line will be the most prestigiously powerful to be witnessed by the heavens.

 

[KLaw]

Golf, charity, doing business, I don't know you just sort of end up there.

It's really not that intimidating and like I said, the upper class is usually less judgy than the the upper middle class. Just wear nice conservative clothing, be professional, courteous, and use proper table manners.

Lmao. Wear dockers and a polo. The uber rich folks I know wear what they want when they want. Know why? Cuz they can. My millionaire a$$ uncle wears raggedy a$$ jeans and a t-shirt on a daily basis. Why? Cuz he can. Lol.
Nothing about being around rich people is intimadating. Change your mind set.

 

[Mattie]

You realize that you just spent LITERALLY ten paragraphs interleaving bragging about how superior you are with insults... I'm not a psychologist, but that leads me to believe that you're the one who has some unresolved self-esteem issues.

Thank you for your input. For the writing, sorry. I'm a prolific writer and communicate every day online. I'll remember to keep it one liners for you.

 

[Guest3722A]

Lol

 

[LynetteP]

Me too.
These people are usually new money (first generation) and not very judgmental.

 

[theresgot2bemore]

Since so many of you are trying to become rich, are any of you taking steps to socially groom into the elite class? How many of you are planning to be influential in your communities, politics, and in philanthropic work? And do you join country clubs and learn to play golf? What are you doing to learn the proper etiquettes?

I will come into wealth soon - I have tried hard to ditch all the etiquette of the poor class I grew up around, and there’s so much more to learn to fit in than just the money part! Thanks for any insight you guys have.

I, too, have plans to join the elite. The long term goals are to connect with top hat territory in the U.S. and European aristocracy. There are some old families out there who would have some cool stories to hear from.

 

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[Ayanle Farah]

I, too, have plans to join the elite. The long term goals are to connect with top hat territory in the U.S. and European aristocracy. There are some old families out there who would have some cool stories to hear from.

For what purpose?

 

[Musashi]

For what purpose?

He already told you! For the cool stories of course, bro. Oh, and don't forget the sick cars they drive.

Me too I am planning to only have friends who earn at least 12,5 million per year. Any advice on how I can ditch my old highschool friends?