Addictions? Vices? Purpose?

[Zubairbilli]

Hey fastlaners, I am reaching out to you guys as this is something I have had issues with for a long time and am not ashamed anymore to ask for help. I have a porn addiction. It has been 10 years and I am looking to ask anyone here that has beat any addictions for any advice?

anything would help.

 

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[peterb0yd]

Hey man, it's all good. This was a tough one for me to cut out as well. The relapses are always so painful. Luckily, after a few years of practice, it's pretty easy for me to avoid it for several months at a time.

The thing that helped me the most was to take note of how I felt after PMO. This means the immediate effects and the lingering effects the next day or few days.

Do I feel less confident?
Am I less productive?
Am I feeling lazy?
Tired?
Angry?
Frustrated?

I write it all down and then I write that using porn was the reason I felt that.

As I became more conscious of the negative effects, I started to associate porn with feeling bad. Then, slowly, I started to think, "this isn't worth it" whenever I had an urge.

Also, you don't have to stop masturbating. Next time, try to masturbate without porn. It's difficult, but it is completely different from masturbating with porn. It's like eating an entire cake versus eating a big salad. Both cause us to feel full, but one of them leaves us feeling like crap after and the other leaves us feeling refreshed.

Abstaining from vices is hard, but we're stronger than our urges.

 

[Zubairbilli]

Hey man, it's all good. This was a tough one for me to cut out as well. The relapses are always so painful. Luckily, after a few years of practice, it's pretty easy for me to avoid it for several months at a time.

The thing that helped me the most was to take note of how I felt after PMO. This means the immediate effects and the lingering effects the next day or few days.

Do I feel less confident?
Am I less productive?
Am I feeling lazy?
Tired?
Angry?
Frustrated?

I write it all down and then I write that using porn was the reason I felt that.

As I became more conscious of the negative effects, I started to associate porn with feeling bad. Then, slowly, I started to think, "this isn't worth it" whenever I had an urge.

Also, you don't have to stop masturbating. Next time, try to masturbate without porn. It's difficult, but it is completely different from masturbating with porn. It's like eating an entire cake versus eating a big salad. Both cause us to feel full, but one of them leaves us feeling like crap after and the other leaves us feeling refreshed.

Abstaining from vices are hard, but you're stronger than your urges. Remember that.

Thank you brother! I will try that.

 

[alexkuzmov]

Hey fastlaners, I am reaching out to you guys as this is something I have had issues with for a long time and am not ashamed anymore to ask for help. I have a porn addiction. It has been 10 years and I am looking to ask anyone here that has beat any addictions for any advice?

anything would help.

Addiction is kind of a strong word, especially for porn.
Why do you think you are addicted to i?

 

[Zubairbilli]

Addiction is kind of a strong word, especially for porn.
Why do you think you are addicted to i?

I started watching it when I was 10. Always kept it a secret. But I never thought I had an addiction until I stopped using it recently

 

[random_9492]

Hey fastlaners, I am reaching out to you guys as this is something I have had issues with for a long time and am not ashamed anymore to ask for help. I have a porn addiction. It has been 10 years and I am looking to ask anyone here that has beat any addictions for any advice?

anything would help.

This is as common as any other addiction. In order to beat this addiction, you need to ask yourself before you lean into the habit “Why am I doing this?” . A simple technique I used was sitting with that urge for 10-15 minutes before taking any action. Think about why you’re doing this and what do you expect to gain from it? Just a thought. Try it if it works.

 

[random_9492]

I suggest reading JAMES CLEAR’s amazing book ATOMIC HABITS. It would definitely change your life.

Hey fastlaners, I am reaching out to you guys as this is something I have had issues with for a long time and am not ashamed anymore to ask for help. I have a porn addiction. It has been 10 years and I am looking to ask anyone here that has beat any addictions for any advice?

anything would help.

 

[DONTRAY]

Cue. Routine. Reward.

 

[gryfny]

I've heard alot about the Easy Way books by Allen Carr. His books are about quiting smoking and drinking. I've read the one about drinking, and I've spend almost all of last year without a drink (I broke my sobriety only on christmas and new years eve). His methods aim to have you quit completely though, so it didn't really work as intended for me.

It's not by the man himself, but there is a 'hackbook' based on his methods online. You can find it here: EasyPeasy

I haven't read this book myself, but if it's anything like the Allen Carr method it should be perfect for you.

 

[Johnny boy]

Is porn actually having a negative affect on your life?

I watch porn even though I have a girlfriend. I waste a lot of time. I procrastinate. I have days where I hardly get anything done. I play videogames. I am DEFINTELY not 100% productive. Not even close.

I still run a business and it's growing every year. I still love my life.

Is it actually hurting you or did you watch some video on youtube talking about how porn will "ruin" you?

 

[Matt Sun]

I like MJ DeMarco story on how his mother stopped smoking. She saw an ad on how bad it was for the lungs, cancer etc. She stopped inmediately, without effort, abstinence etc. Why ? Because it was no longer in her identity to be a smoker.

So there is two things you can learn from this. First, go look for info on how bad is porn for you. Really dive in the subject (it actually is really bad, since it messes with dopamine and stuff and makes you less ambitious and more suceptible to instant gratification).

Second, take steps to change your identity . Towards one of a person who doesn't consume porn.

I hope this is of some help. Good Luck.

 

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[Zubairbilli]

I like MJ DeMarco story on how his mother stopped smoking. She saw an ad on how bad it was for the lungs, cancer etc. She stopped inmediately, without effort, abstinence etc. Why ? Because it was no longer in her identity to be a smoker.

So there is two things you can learn from this. First, go look for info on how bad is porn for you. Really dive in the subject (it actually is really bad, since it messes with dopamine and stuff and makes you less ambitious and more suceptible to instant gratification).

Second, take steps to change your identity . Towards one of a person who doesn't consume porn.

I hope this is of some help. Good Luck.

I needed this, thanks brother!

 

[Zubairbilli]

Is porn actually having a negative affect on your life?

I watch porn even though I have a girlfriend. I waste a lot of time. I procrastinate. I have days where I hardly get anything done. I play videogames. I am DEFINTELY not 100% productive. Not even close.

I still run a business and it's growing every year. I still love my life.

Is it actually hurting you or did you watch some video on youtube talking about how porn will "ruin" you?

Although I do not agree. I appreciate your response and taking the time.

 

[Johnny boy]

Although I do not agree. I appreciate your response and taking the time.

What do you not agree with?

1. Question
2. Statement about my personal life
3. Another statement about my personal life
4. Another question

Kind of hard to disagree with questions or personal statements. Nowhere did I make an argument lol

 

[Zubairbilli]

What do you not agree with?

1. Question
2. Statement about my personal life
3. Another statement about my personal life
4. Another question

Kind of hard to disagree with questions or personal statements. Nowhere did I make an argument lol

I reread what you wrote, that’s true no argument lol. Just I know it’s harmful is all. Personal experience.