21 Year Old Musician

[flinchjackal]

Hello I go by Flinch online but my real name is Tuna.

I'm from Turkey and ever since I was born my whole life was a battle.
I could not have a normal childhood.
I was fat obese ugly and smelly my whole life, I did not have any social skills and people genuienly avoided me and ran away from me so all I did was play video games as a kid. I always had troubles with authority and stuff and I got kicked out of 5 schools. I had no friends. Ever. My parents really didn't teach me any skills.
The last year of high school, instead of kicking me out they put me in a class alone.
This coincided with me seeing Kurt Cobain play live on Youtube and discovering rock music at 17.
I was in this classroom alone and everyday I'd have 2 lessons and 6 empty lessons.
During those empty lessons I'd study music or watch videos about songwriting and such, or play my nintendo that I snuck in, read books or watch dumb youtube videos whatever.
I started to write songs and learn the guitar.
I always told people that I would study abroad and I would study art but around 17, the idea was clear.
I would study music in the uk.
I hit 18 and I get accepted to the uni but because of monetary problems I could not go.
After 18 years of loneliness I got accepted to the uni I wanted but I couldn't go. So I stay in my room alone for 1 more year. I keep studying music and practicing guitar.
I finally get to uni but it sucks and people treat me like a leper and weirdo. I still have no friends.
I know I make great music I try to get a band but nothings works I'm depressed as hell. I try to get a gf and such but I'm not really attractive and my personality is kinda repulsive aswell because I've been suicidal and depressed my whole life.

Now this year, I take bodybuilding seriously, being fed up with being a loser I decide to change my life and myself. I work on my social skills I decide to chase life. I start kickboxing and put on some size. I also get a job to support my dad because WE ARE VERY POOR. After washing dishes with my hands for 8 hours for very busy kitchens, I get a job in a thrift store in Camden (which is my fav part in London) I start to look good so I get a new dream to be an actor I take some acting classes. I finally get some people to play for my band and because I really want to play gigs I go to venues and ask to play some shows. Some say no but I get a yes. We play one it went ok then I play another, someone even asked us to play a festival. Our band logo is on the poster. I am also actually becoming charismatic and my body is starting to look better and people say im confident and charismatic and outgoing now. I am officially cool and look like a rockstar. Finally after never having any opportunities i feel like I might get somewhere. Even channel 4 from uk contacts me says my story is interesting they want to shoot a documentary with me (I sat down with them they r legit)

Now comes the kicker, I get fired from my job. Our drummer quits. My dad fails to send me any money therefore I can't pay rent because it's very hard to live on £150 a week while my rent is £100. (I legit had to walk through dogshit everyday and I had to piss outside we didn't have water etc etc it was avery bad place) Because rent is late 4 days my landlady kicks me out this coincides with the shooting that Channel 4 was gonna do with me. So my so called "shot" also goes to waste. And I have to now take a plane back to Turkey as I cannot afford to stay anywhere in the UK and I'm jobless. I come back and we don't even have money to buy some cajun spice here.

I realized because I live in a third world country and because we are so poor that I cannot pursue my dreams. I cannot be an artist because I am poor. I come back from UK with opportunities to third world Turkey, you think I gave up? NO. Of course not. I made a website to sell some tshirts and some merch, I decide to grow my Youtube so I start uploading daily (stuck at 315 subs lol) but one of my songs kinda blew up to 1k views so I'm happy for that. I start working on an online course to teach how to record and write music.
Just because I cannot pursue my dreams in the entertainment industry doesn't mean I can't try to make online income or grow my online fanbase.
I'm still not really getting much traction but I know that I just gotta be persistent and keep punching.

I know that I am one of those artists that come once in a lifetime, I have this great gift inside me that I cannot give to the world because I am so poor. I want to really inspire others and build this community for people that never belonged anwyhere. I can't because I am poor. I started millionaire fastlane and I think this is what I need. I just need to have money so I can pursue art and stop worrying if I'm going to be homeless the next day or be able to eat.

I'll attach pics of me so u guys can see how my looks have tranisitoned.

sorry my writing is a trainwreck.

I see the kids in uni enjoying life, eating food, going outside buying clothes. I wish that could be me. I wish I could just spend £20 on food and buy clothes that aren't from thrift stores for once. I wish I could afford things.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Feliponius]

Duphsevt up heopoph tuni vsedvoup! O lpux vji tivcedl ot jesf, cav zua'wi huv vji sohjv eqqsuedj vu vsz epf vasp tuni vjopht esuapf.