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Getting my life together

A detailed account of a Fastlane process...
User Power
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184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Hello I am a 23 years old Muslim living in Germany.

I've had enough. I didn't achieved anything for years because of my laziness and half assing my goals.
In addition to that my father had a heart attack 1 month ago. I can't help him much with my small loan from my ware house job.

Besides that I am a college student but didn't do anything there. The last time I went to the campus was over a year ago. I also stopped going to the gym and stopped meeting my friends.

I never wanted to go to college. Instead I directly wanted to start a business but always felt weak and couldn't choose for my self.
I know it's a excuse but I just was too weak. I still feel so pathetic, immature and useless.

But know that I can change some things in my life through repeated action.
So I just bought a legal pad and wrote these goals for new years eve down.

#1 Lose weight 10 kg to reach 80 kg.

#2 start a business that earns 1000 € monthly to support my family and to get my first experiences.

#3 finally drop out of college so that I can finally close this dark chapter.

I will post every Sunday to keep myself commited.
 
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Last edited:
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Week 1

#1goal 80 kg
Daily target:
  • Meal prep in the morning for the full day (2300 kalories)
  • Training 4 days a week
Both daily targets are running good right now. I lost 2 kg and already feel a lot better.

#2 start a Bsn that earns 1k monthly
Daily target:
  • Read every side hustle post
  • Search for other ideas in the forum
So regarding this I brainstormed many ideas. I read that flipping is a good beginner idea to learn and make experiences. This is the reason I decided to make it my daily target for now.

To be honest with you, I action faked a lot with YouTube, social media and day dreaming.

With mjs 8 steps I found a way to attack this threats. So I blocked these sites and put my TV cable away. This already helped me a lot because I now have less distractions and more time for my daily targets.


I am honest with you my friends. I might have no experiences and skills to offer you value with this process thread.

Right now I am at rock bottom. My father had a heart attack and my uncle just got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Seeing my mother being so sad is killing me.
Overall I am mentally and physically down. I am afraid to talk to people and avoid every situation that could be uncomfortable. Right now I would even struggle to order pizza and make normal normal conversation with anybody.

But when I will overcome this, you can do it too.
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
I just don't make progress.
I don't know why I always feel like something is missing. I always action fake an search for this one advice, technique or book that will change my life. Then I change my whole system over and over again. In the beginning I feel motivated and stick to it. After a couple days or weeks when I encounter hard or uncomfortable things I start doing it again. I think that I am the definition of action faker and procrastinator.

Today for example I googled the whole day to find advice on how to beat fear instead of working, because I struggled with my tasks.
 

Evan G

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User Power
Value/Post Ratio
172%
May 24, 2020
18
31
Arkansas
I just don't make progress.
I don't know why I always feel like something is missing. I always action fake an search for this one advice, technique or book that will change my life. Then I change my whole system over and over again. In the beginning I feel motivated and stick to it. After a couple days or weeks when I encounter hard or uncomfortable things I start doing it again. I think that I am the definition of action faker and procrastinator.

Today for example I googled the whole day to find advice on how to beat fear instead of working, because I struggled with my tasks.

It sounds like you are in the middle of a mind shift. You know what you want, but the rest of your brain isn't there yet.

Start thinking about how you can help others regardless of what it is. That's where I am at in my journey and I've noticed my mind slowly starting to shift. I stop looking for that "one bit of advice that will change everything" and start helping others.

As an example I'm going to be help my gf's father with some home renovations. Does it match with my main skill set? Nope. But what it does do is helps me provide value to someone. It helps move me to a mindset where I am looking for problems people are having and trying to solve them. I can take that kind of problem solving to my technical skill set.

Another bit of advice that I liked from Unscripted , is that if you have no idea what to do, learn to sell. Pick up a book and learn how to start selling. You might not have something to sell right now, but you will one day (whether its a service or product). I recommend "Gap Selling" by Keenan. I'm about 40% of the way through it and its full of awesome info.
 
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User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
It sounds like you are in the middle of a mind shift. You know what you want, but the rest of your brain isn't there yet.

Start thinking about how you can help others regardless of what it is. That's where I am at in my journey and I've noticed my mind slowly starting to shift. I stop looking for that "one bit of advice that will change everything" and start helping others.

As an example I'm going to be help my gf's father with some home renovations. Does it match with my main skill set? Nope. But what it does do is helps me provide value to someone. It helps move me to a mindset where I am looking for problems people are having and trying to solve them. I can take that kind of problem solving to my technical skill set.

Another bit of advice that I liked from Unscripted , is that if you have no idea what to do, learn to sell. Pick up a book and learn how to start selling. You might not have something to sell right now, but you will one day (whether its a service or product). I recommend "Gap Selling" by Keenan. I'm about 40% of the way through it and its full of awesome info.

Thank you for your answer.

I think you are right. Maybe I am too focused on myself. Focusing on helping others could help me making progress and getting away from action faking.

Also thanks for the book recommendation, but I think right now I shouldn't read new books and just listen to your first advice my friend.
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Week 2

#1goal 80 kg
Daily target:
  • Meal prep in the morning for the full day (2300 kalories)
  • Training 4 days a week
My weight now is 87,5. Training runs really good, my Diet not so much. On Thursday and Friday I was a little bit down and ate way too much.

#2 earn 1K with flipping
Daily target:
  • Search for post on FB marketplace and eBay Kleinanzeigen
So regarding this I wrote down the prices for the current best electronics and consoles and found some okay posts. Some didn't answer, some answered but I was too chicken to go further. Next week I will make my first call and sale, because otherwise it would be embarrassing for me
 

JordanK

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Feb 17, 2014
558
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26
Ireland
Have a listen to the MFCEO podcast by Andy Frisella and take on the 75HARD Challenge. It’ll help you get in the right frame of mind and physical condition to pursue those other goals. You need to master yourself before you can master business & life.
 
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Gentlegiant

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May 25, 2020
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Canada
Really agree with JordanK, your mind and body are the tools you use to build your life. They have to be sharp in order to get through this journey safe and sound. I haven't done 75hard but I know what it is, it sounds perfect for someone who's getting started. Having a structured plan that tells you exactly what to do everyday makes the process a so much easier (for example, I never could stick to the gym before getting an actual workout plan)

I recommend the book "miracle morning" which is really helping me at the moment. It puts you in the right mindset every morning and has a tremendous effect on my days. I'm much more productive now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think @MJ DeMarco is also doing it every morning, and he sounds like he's doing okay. (understatement lol)

Don't worry man, this action faking phase and feeling of being lost is normal and simply the first problem in the long list of problems you'll have to fix during your entrepreneurial journey. It's square one. Work at it daily, and you'll get somewhere for sure. I believe in you! :)
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Have a listen to the MFCEO podcast by Andy Frisella and take on the 75HARD Challenge. It’ll help you get in the right frame of mind and physical condition to pursue those other goals. You need to master yourself before you can master business & life.

Thank you for your advice, but I am not sure if this is the right decision. Can you tell me how it helped you ?

Really agree with JordanK, your mind and body are the tools you use to build your life. They have to be sharp in order to get through this journey safe and sound. I haven't done 75hard but I know what it is, it sounds perfect for someone who's getting started. Having a structured plan that tells you exactly what to do everyday makes the process a so much easier (for example, I never could stick to the gym before getting an actual workout plan)

I recommend the book "miracle morning" which is really helping me at the moment. It puts you in the right mindset every morning and has a tremendous effect on my days. I'm much more productive now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think @MJ DeMarco is also doing it every morning, and he sounds like he's doing okay. (understatement lol)

Don't worry man, this action faking phase and feeling of being lost is normal and simply the first problem in the long list of problems you'll have to fix during your entrepreneurial journey. It's square one. Work at it daily, and you'll get somewhere for sure. I believe in you! :)

Thank you for your kind words. I will think about the 75 day challenge.
But I am a little bit afraid that I will waste time.
 

Gentlegiant

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But I am a little bit afraid that I will waste time.
Never be afraid of wasting time when trying something new, it'll prevent you to do it seriously (which increases your odds of failing, and ironically, of wasting your time haha).

Nevertheless, if the thought of a 75 days challenge seems too daunting to you, the miracle morning is only a 30 days challenge, and is probably just as helpful. The book is a pretty short and easy read too.
 
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JordanK

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Feb 17, 2014
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If a 75 day challenge is too daunting. I don’t want to know how you’ll feel during a 60+ year challenge called building and running a fastlane business.
 

SDE

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Jul 9, 2018
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It seems you are little hard on yourself @Theorangeogre

You are doing fine. You took some action(lost 2 kg and gathered data on flipping). Congrats!

Here are some additional reads that might be useful to you:

HOT TOPIC - Learnings from 700+ PMs with fellow forum members

GOLD! - If you ever feel "stuck" - read this...

37 minutes until I board my plane, and then THIS happened

Book Summary: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

Love yourself unconditionally. Believe in yourself.

It might sound woo-woo to you but sit with them for few minutes to understand the power of it.
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
It seems you are little hard on yourself @Theorangeogre

You are doing fine. You took some action(lost 2 kg and gathered data on flipping). Congrats!

Here are some additional reads that might be useful to you:

HOT TOPIC - Learnings from 700+ PMs with fellow forum members

GOLD! - If you ever feel "stuck" - read this...

37 minutes until I board my plane, and then THIS happened

Book Summary: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

Love yourself unconditionally. Believe in yourself.

It might sound woo-woo to you but sit with them for few minutes to understand the power of it.

Thank so much for your kind words. You are definitely right. I gain nothing by being mean to myself.

I read the links and liked your advice, but I am not sure how to use it to beat my current problem.
 
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xy2_

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Mar 26, 2020
48
161
France
Last year, I did the same things you are planning on doing now: hitting the gym (going from skinny to not-skinny) and flipping to get income, while going to university.

I agree with the above posters, you are being too hard on yourself.

With what I wanted to do, I found that the more I judged myself, the less I did things and took action. Things are going to happen. In reality, the only one that judges these events and tells us they are "good" or "bad" is ourselves. And apparently, if there's enough "bad" events in the way of your goal, you need to abandon course and tell yourself that you can't do it, that you're "bad" or "pathetic" or "useless".

These "labels" we put on ourselves stop us in our mind. But without judgement, they are all things that happen. So what would happen if you don't judge and act instead?

Here's the real "waste of time": not taking action. Failing is not a waste of time, it's the most valuable lesson. If you do all these things and fail, you will be way farther ahead than the version of yourself who didn't try because he thought of himself as "weak".
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Yes, thanks for asking my friend.
I failed once in the first week but now I am back at day 10. My self belief and confidence definitely improved a bit.
Also my inner voice became weaker. I mean the voice in your head that tells you excuses and stupid limiting Beliefs.

I have to admit that right now I am struggling with my productivity system. I like to have a simple system because I tend to procrastinate with the more complex systems.

I tried Trello and many other apps and didn't really like it.
I tried using pen and paper( fastlane planner) and liked it. Unfortunately I didn't now where to write my tasks for later and deadlines down. I first tried writing it down at the back of the pad but it did get messy fast. I hope I find something simple fast
 

LFDY

Contributor
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82%
Jun 16, 2020
33
27
Germany
I tried Trello and many other apps and didn't really like it.
I tried using pen and paper( fastlane planner) and liked it. Unfortunately I didn't now where to write my tasks for later and deadlines down. I first tried writing it down at the back of the pad but it did get messy fast. I hope I find something simple fast
maybe try google calender, google task is already integrated and you can then drag & drop your tasks to your calender, which makes clear when a task has to be completed
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Hello my friends,

I apologize for not updating my process for so many weeks. I am at day 39 of 75 hard and really feel better.

Thanks to 75 I got more disciplined and more courageous. I finally didn't make up excuses to decline my friends offer to go out.

Also my overall relationship with my family definitely improved. I think the last time I was in a really bad mood was the week I started this thread.

I think 75 hard helped me so much overall is because I had less time to think. I really didn't wanted to fail the challenge so I sticked to it.

So I realized that my thinking patterns are costing me a lot of energy and time.

Fortunately I read @TheKing post about the power of full engagement. After reading the book I understood that there are 4 categories to draw energy from.
My major deficits are emotionally and mentally.

If you look couple post above you can see that I started action faking and getting stressed about my productivity set up. I know that I already now enough but thanks to my thinking patterns I felt overwhelmed and thought that I am missing something.
(this thinking pattern happened a lot)

Because I had enough of this drama I read the book untethered soul and Incoperated 10 minutes of meditation to my regime last week. At first I was sceptical but I really noticed some benefits.

The voice in my head that wastes so much energy and time became a little bit quieter. Instead of analyzing the voice or fighting it, I just let go.
Of course I know that I have to keep learning to become better at this but I am just really happy.

Regarding emotionally energy I made the decision to read the book crucial conversations because good communication is important for emotional power. After finishing it I decided to not overwhelm myself too much and stick to 75 hard and meditation first.


sorry for my bad English and writing
 
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Gentlegiant

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May 25, 2020
22
31
Canada
Your english is great man, don't sell yourself short ;)

I'm really happy you are seeing good progress! Keep at it, you're on the right track :D
 
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
184%
Jun 12, 2018
19
35
Germany
Whats up my friends,

I finished the 75 hard program couple days ago and it definitely helped me get out of my rut. Overall I failed only once and this was on day 13.
Because I liked it so much I decided to start a new program that is designed to reach my goals.

Heres my Program

#Goal 1: 77kg
  • Workout
  • Omad +2300 Kal
#Goal 2: Getting more confident ( here I am not sure how to make it more precise)
  • Stop seeking approval from others, focus on pleasing yourself ( idea from the book no more mr nice guy)
#Goal 3: Getting more disciplined ( after that maybe tailored towards Business?)
  • 5 tasks ( to get used to getting things done veryday)
  • eveningroutine ( blocks every distraction and plans the next day)
  • Meditation 10 min before 10 am

So basically these are just multiple habits thrown together in a roster.
I like it this way because I feel in control in multiple areas of my life.
I feel like winning every time I don't break the streak and on the same time the fear of loosing is enough to keep pushing me forward.

I have to mention that my goals have changed little bit, because I now know what I want. Of course I still want to start my business but I want to reach this goals first and some of them are good foundations for the future.
 

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