After sitting in the car with my (step)dad; I always used to look up to him.
He was super fastlaner.
He was the most innovative and "let's do this" person I've known in my life. (Past)
His light and energy would light up the whole room and he would add glitter to anything he spoke to or visited.
That light has been dimmed several years ago.
He is nothing more now than the shallow vessel of a person that has abandoned himself.
Full of regrets and "what's ifs".
This is the most painful thing to see. His ideas still pop up, but he just keeps saying "maybe you can take this idea Bara you can do this, no one will ever listen to me anymore".
I want to shake him awake: STOP DYING!!!!!! YOU SURVIVED CANCER AND ARE STRONG PHYSICALY GO GET IT YOURSELF!!
But it's nothing more than a wall I am talking to: negativity, despair, depression and external manipulation have gotten to him. I am trying to talk him into coming with me to the us in the spring, and drop him off at corporations and just talk to people. Experience a new environment and just get out of there.
Hollow. Dead.
He "died" at an age of 55 and God knows when he'll be buried. Horrible to see how he has changed.
What I did learn from him (more by seeing him living like this)
The more I talk to people here, or read, I realize many of us have people like this in our lives. Old friends, family, partners. And I wonder how to deal with it. The most I do have to say goodbye, or limit contact to VERY very little, because nothing is as draining as this.
This is indeed a rant, something I needed to write of me, for I know this group of people is one of the very few that will understand.
Hope you have an amazing day, and keep your eyes sparkling and open!
He was super fastlaner.
He was the most innovative and "let's do this" person I've known in my life. (Past)
His light and energy would light up the whole room and he would add glitter to anything he spoke to or visited.
That light has been dimmed several years ago.
He is nothing more now than the shallow vessel of a person that has abandoned himself.
Full of regrets and "what's ifs".
This is the most painful thing to see. His ideas still pop up, but he just keeps saying "maybe you can take this idea Bara you can do this, no one will ever listen to me anymore".
I want to shake him awake: STOP DYING!!!!!! YOU SURVIVED CANCER AND ARE STRONG PHYSICALY GO GET IT YOURSELF!!
But it's nothing more than a wall I am talking to: negativity, despair, depression and external manipulation have gotten to him. I am trying to talk him into coming with me to the us in the spring, and drop him off at corporations and just talk to people. Experience a new environment and just get out of there.
Hollow. Dead.
He "died" at an age of 55 and God knows when he'll be buried. Horrible to see how he has changed.
What I did learn from him (more by seeing him living like this)
- he stopped after dozen of "no's". Note to self: KEEP GOING
- you'll never get everyones approval or have everyone on your side
- trying to being loved and appreciated by everyone is commiting spiritual suicide
- dont settle. GO GO GO
- And in the words of Jim Carrey "You can fail at something you hate, so you might as well go for the thing you believe in"
The more I talk to people here, or read, I realize many of us have people like this in our lives. Old friends, family, partners. And I wonder how to deal with it. The most I do have to say goodbye, or limit contact to VERY very little, because nothing is as draining as this.
This is indeed a rant, something I needed to write of me, for I know this group of people is one of the very few that will understand.
Hope you have an amazing day, and keep your eyes sparkling and open!
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