Thanks for your reply. Yes, I'm a senior and a grandma. I still work every day.
The other day I found a writing contest that has the same theme as this thread. I had to choose a point and time to give myself advice coming from my senior
perspective. So I wrote my younger self a love letter. I really struggled when I was younger and life was very hard. I have quoted that love letter here for you.
I hope you share my success in time.
A Love Letter to My Younger Self,
I want to tell you that you are making good life-supporting decisions. You have already acted with more courage, audacity, and diligence than many people will ever display. Everything feels bleak right now. The divorce will be final soon. 1978 is awkward for a twenty-four-year-old woman who wants more from her life. The expected path is certain and well-worn by the women who came before you. Breaking that mold is a daunting task.
You moved from a rural community to attend a college in Downtown Los Angeles. In those days, women married straight out of high school and immediately started a family. Even though you married on schedule, you waited to have babies. Instead, you moved to the big city to attend college and graduate. You then followed up with a series of non-traditional career moves rather than taking an expected pink-collar job. Your husband’s relatives hated you and those decisions. The parade of “firsts” landed you outside your traditional role of a woman and wife. And now you’re facing the big D (divorce).
I can assure you. This is the beginning rather than the end of the world. You are off to a great start on a long and productive life.
Right now, you are your worst critic. Simple decisions morph into a painful dissection exercise performed on the table of possibilities. I can tell you one of the truths I have learned in my sixty-nine years. It is okay to make a one-time honest mistake or fail completely… provided you understand the intrinsic lessons. The first trick is to analyze the event or decision. You must verify that it is a stand-alone issue rather than part of a flawed thinking pattern. Then take a deep breath and calm yourself. Very few mistakes are fatal. Most are a binary choice -- simply a fork in the road leading to different results. At times there are no correct answers. There are just other possibilities and outcomes.
You are firmly rooted in the commonsense reality of cause and effect. Conversely, you display a carefully crafted public illusion of one who is bold and carefree. No one needs to know how thoughtfully you considered your options. Keep it your secret.
Failure is an opportunity as well as a danger. They can be a necessary step to a new beginning. Some say if you never fail, you’re not trying enough. You’re leaving good stuff on the table. Accepting that truism takes the sting out of failing. It’s an everyday reality rather than an earthshaking anomaly. Frequent and small failures are less disruptive to the whole. I have learned that you must accept the worst-case result. Minimalize most risks with an “if-then” plan. ( If X happens, then I will do Y.) This prevents a disastrous knee-jerk reaction concocted in the middle of a crisis. Planning can tamp down the danger, so it never rises to a crisis level. You will have the option to pivot.
I assure you that you are among the luckiest people on earth. Your rough childhood gave you courage and grit, which is rare and precious. I know that you are often afraid. True courage is not being foolish nor fearless. Courage is being able to forge ahead while quaking with fear.
It takes a hot fire to forge iron into steel. Similarly, your childhood has infused your character with extraordinary resolve and strength. It gives you the relentless grit to achieve, regardless of adversities. Lady Luck loves those qualities. They are magnetic to her, and they release her gifts.
I know you don’t trust that life will protect you and hold you up when your world falls apart. So, trust yourself. Listen to your gut and heart. You hear life’s subtle heartbeat differently from the people around you. And others can’t walk your carefully crafted path. Don’t expect to drag them along. The people around you see your results but don’t necessarily understand your process. The operative word in that thought is that this is YOUR process. Your life belongs to you to craft as you see fit. I could tell you about all the huge successes and dismal failures in your future. At this point, you can’t even see your potential. You will do things and go places not even in your dreams. With the right mindset, the future is yours to create.
