The Desert of Perceived Need

[Esquire]

I'll be honest ... I'm feeling kind of beat up right now.

I launched a niche dating site back in January. Back then, I was feeling high as a kite. I had spent 13 months in development ... assembled a platform that was second to none in the niche ... and thought I had rolled out something truly unique.

A metaphorical Lamborghini in a sea of competing minivans.

The response ...?

Apathy.

The challenge isn't getting people to stay. The people who join ... really love the site.

The challenge is getting people to walk in the door and create a profile in the first place.

Creating a better product ... just isn't enough.

One of the main problems is that so many "me too" sites have been pushed on my target audience ... simple out-of-the-box crap sites ... they are mentally exhausted with "newcomers" as a whole.

They expect my site ... to be just like those "cookie cutter" sites that have come before me.

They expect to see a minivan.

They expect Goliath ... and the other established sites ... to kick David's a$$.

Just like he did to everyone else.

So they stay put where they are.

Google Plus has this problem. Bing has this problem. And now I have this problem.

Convincing people ... that this site ... is going to be something different. Something better.

The analogy that comes to mind is a supermarket ... where they are handing out free samples of new products ... but in THIS supermarket ... everything they hand you tastes like shit.

And then they get to you ... your sample tastes incredible ... but because of their lousy experience with the free samples before you ... they pass you by ... and walk out with a "safe" product instead ... the one they already know.

It is so unbelievably frustrating.

Every single thing ... my target audience ever asked for ... I've given it to them. Every single thing ... I've ever heard them bitch moan and complain about on the other sites ... I've cured. I have solved legitimate problems ... and bring new value to the table.

Apathy.

The focus of the first seven months have (admittedly) been perfecting the site itself. I have only promoted the site in a very small test market. I wanted everything to be perfect before I did a large scale launch. Iron out the bugs. Get some feedback. Adjust. That was critical.

But as I look ahead ... and start shifting my focus to marketing ... and launching the site on a large scale ... I am genuinely concerned. History tends to repeat itself.

And I have not (yet) figured out how to overcome the apathy problem.

Do I think I'll figure it out ...? Yes ... I do.

I'll keep throwing shit at the wall until I figure out what sticks. I imagine it is going to take time.

Anyway ...

I am not entirely sure why I am sharing this ... maybe I just need somewhere to vent ...

I survived 13 months in the Desert of Desertion.

But the Deserts of "Perceived" Need and User Apathy ... never saw it coming.

 

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[Mattie]

Obstacles and road blocks! They will always come. Don't feel defeated! It's only a temporary moment. Perhaps you're doing just fine right where you're at for the moment. Rome wasn't built in day.

 

[dochustle]

How have you validated the want/need for what you built?

 

[tekcraze]

A big challenge with your industry is trying to hit a critical mass of enough users to make people want to join. Really, the core purpose of a dating site is having people (inventory if you will) that someone would want to date. All the other "features" are nice but without the main thing they don't really mean anything.

I would look at how other sites increase the user base and try to emulate some of their tactics.

Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk

 

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[Esquire]

How have you validated the want/need for what you built?

Couple ways ... first ... I've been a member of the competing sites for a very long time. I've watched the forums ... listened to the endless complaints ... and suggestions for improvements ... fall on habitually deaf ears. The owners have become fat and complacent ... and in their apathy I saw opportunity.

Second ... as a target user ... I know my own frustrations using the service. I see -- from my own experience -- where the conventional approach fails time and again. How it could be done better. More efficiently.

Third ... I listen. To my members ... to industry VIPs ... and respond. And I am very solicitous of their feedback. Just about anything they asked for ... I found a way to get it done. Over time ... requests slowed ... and members glowed.

I even followed up with people who did NOT join the site ... and solicited their opinions as well.

I can say -- with a straight face -- that the platform itself is on par with the very best in the market ... and my approach to online dating is fundamentally different. Now I have to convey and convince.

 

[Esquire]

A big challenge with your industry is trying to hit a critical mass of enough users to make people want to join. Really, the core purpose of a dating site is having people (inventory if you will) that someone would want to date. All the other "features" are nice but without the main thing they don't really mean anything.

I would look at how other sites increase the user base and try to emulate some of their tactics.

Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk

Critical mass is important (yes) ... but realistically ... the main "technique" of the big heavyweights ... is timing ... having gotten into the market 12 or so years ago.

They have the numbers, resources and reputation for sure.

Replicating anything approaching that will take time. The snowball is going to have to roll down the hill for a while before an avalanche develops.

Every site started out small once. Mine is no different.

And yes ... I am watching how they market ... and am integrating similar marketing tactics -- albeit with more limited resources.

With that said ... I am far less concerned with "how many" members we have ... than I am what "type" of members we have and "how quickly" we can match the right people up.

Kind of like e-Harmony.

My focus in on quality and compatibility ... not volume or selection for selection's sake.

More needles. Less haystack.

 

[JoeB]

Might all the minivan owners want to upgrade to your Lamborghini?

 

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[Esquire]

Might all the minivan owners want to upgrade to your Lamborghini?

Interesting idea. But no. I cannot imagine it. My site model is so radically different from theirs ... it would not make sense to emulate it. Emulating my model would be against their financial interest.

Absent such an approach, they could just swipe and deploy what I've done.

If they're selling burgers and fries to the masses ... I'm selling sushi to a select few.

I'm running with quality over quantity.

 

[MakeItCount]

Maybe you should seek more opinion on the marketing side of things.

If your site is fundamentally different then you need 100% to emphasize those differentiating factors.

You said that those who join love the site and are staying. Then the problem must be in your marketing appeal.

I'd imagine this might ultimately determine your success/failure.

 

[Esquire]

Maybe you should seek more opinion on the marketing side of things.

If your site is fundamentally different then you need 100% to emphasize those differentiating factors.

You said that those who join love the site and are staying. Then the problem must be in your marketing appeal.

I'd imagine in this case marketing might ultimately determine your success/failure.

Well ... I agree. Marketing will clearly be key. And yes ... I certainly stress the differences.

It's not going to be easy ... I know that for sure.

And in some odd ways ... I find that comforting ... at least where the commandment of entry is concerned ... but damn if it ain't frustrating.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

In general, is your site considered a web service? Or a mobile service? It seems all of the HOT dating oriented sites are optimized for a mobile experience, not desktop.

 

[Andy Black]

Bearing in mind that I don't know the dating space at all, could you tackle the "getting people in the door" problem by focus on a specific segment and try and "ignite" that segment?

Maybe it's a geographic thing, and you just focus on one city, or maybe it's a demographic thing within a certain radius.

I'm a paid search guy, and I'd guess that there would be a lot of long-tail geo-modified search terms such as "single women chicago" and "single men chicago". Similarly, you could target a demographic in FB, etc.

 

[Esquire]

In general, is your site considered a web service? Or a mobile service? It seems all of the HOT dating oriented sites are optimized for a mobile experience, not desktop.

Is the site Mobile friendly? Yes.

Does it have a mobile version? Yes.

Is the site principally aimed at mobile ...? No ... not yet.

But on the flip side ... neither are the other big sites in my genre ... but I hear what you are saying.

I think that is a good idea.

I guess mobile is something I am going to have to tackle a little further on down the road. I just don't have the resources to pour into a turbo-charged mobile version yet.

I've put most of my effort and energy into perfecting the desktop version for now.

 

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[Esquire]

Bearing in mind that I don't know the dating space at all, could you tackle the "getting people in the door" problem by focus on a specific segment and try and "ignite" that segment?

Maybe it's a geographic thing, and you just focus on one city, or maybe it's a demographic thing within a certain radius.

I'm a paid search guy, and I'd guess that there would be a lot of long-tail geo-modified search terms such as "single women chicago" and "single men chicago". Similarly, you could target a demographic in FB, etc.

Well ... that is exactly what I am doing. Focusing on a very narrow sub-section of the target community at large. I do not think there is much value trying to create another version of the metaphorical phone book.

So ... rather than trying to be all things to all people ... I am trying to be the most incredible thing to a much smaller group of people ... my target niche.

This approach is very challenging ... I have literally turned away or tossed 8 in 10 users over the last 7 months.

I hate to see my membership levels drop ... but the 20 percent of members that remain ... the ones that got past the velvet rope and stayed ... are pretty damn amazing.

Give me a handful of pretty girls ... over a room full of truckers ... all day long.

Or so goes my thinking ...

So on hand ... I am trying to grow the site ... on the other hand ... I am trying to keep my standards high ... and I am turning a lot of people away.

My site has been accused of being elitist ... and in some respects ... they're right. My inbox has no shortage of hate mail and fan mail. If I showed up in Ontario (where I did my beta testing) ... I'd be showered with flowers ... and tomatoes.

Mostly tomatoes.

The site is very polarizing. Perfect for some. Inaccessible to most.

You either love it or hate it. No in between.

In the short term ... it is a real kick in the nuts ... but I believe ... big picture ... I'll be glad I did.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

The site is very polarizing.

Polarizing is newsworthy. Have you tried PR?

 

[randomnumber314]

Along with MJ's recommendation: find out who will hate it, and send them a tip about the site so that they have a reason to commit time/energy to publicizing it for you.

My site has been accused of being elitist

Sounds like perfect tumblr/reddit targeting to me.

 

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[Esquire]

Polarizing is newsworthy. Have you tried PR?

Not yet ... I still need to put together my media package ... and I would like to conduct some more experiments with social media before I start reaching out to traditional news outlets ... I am thinking maybe sometime in September or October I'll go the PR route.

But yeah ... I agree the polarizing aspect could make for some nice media attention ... and could be a great way to connect with my target audience.

Just getting all my ducks in a row first.

 

[chrischapman]

Think about it like this: every obstacle you face is an obstacle which eliminates a certain part of your competition, each time you make it past them, you kick a whole lot of butt and gain a whole lot of market share and $$.

Every obstacle you face is an obstacle that your competition faces. Rise above the competition and help people date real good.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr14.htm

This is chapter 9 from think and grow rich, called persistence. I found it really good reading. Maybe you will mate.

 

[Esquire]

Along with MJ's recommendation: find out who will hate it, and send them a tip about the site so that they have a reason to commit time/energy to publicizing it for you.

Sounds like perfect tumblr/reddit targeting to me.

Funny you should mention that. Something like that did in fact happen. I made a great industry contact the other week, when he saw an absolute shit storm blowing up in the forums of another site. All these people bitching and moaning and groaning ... about the same things people bitch moan and groan about him. I got a kick out of that.

But I have another ugly issue to deal with up there ... the biggest fish in a small pond knees got a knocking when I came to town ... and they issued ultimatums to the Ontario clubs to "sever all ties" with my business or get cut off from theirs. Which really pissed me off ... because the newest and hottest club up there absolutely loved my site ... disliked the big fish ... and was ready to get solidly behind me.

So I threatened the other site with legal action (under Canada's Competition Act) ... and their hot headed admin (in turn) published my legal correspondence on the site forums (trying to drum up sympathy and make me look like Mr. Big Mean Lawyer). It's a total shit storm up there. I don't want to pursue legal remedies if it can be avoided ... but I'll be damned if I am going to sit back and let the neighborhood bully compel a forced boycott of my site in violation of (Canadian) federal law.

Guess I'm doing more beta testing up there than I thought. How to handle blackmail ... nuts.

 

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[chrischapman]

Maybe make that elitist thing a selling point for the sort of people you want on the site. Maybe brag about it and post emails about rejection on the front of the website (thats too far maybe).

just ideas haha im sure youve thought of it though

 

[randomnumber314]

Sounds like an opportunity ripe for an honest new guy to show his good intentions. There are many examples of publicly displaying others' attempts to squelch a new guy, while showing how you're better and they're fighting good change. Good luck.

 

[Kyle Tully]

Check out beautifulpeople.com and some of the PR strategies they've used.

e.g. http://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...-beautifulpeoplecom-goes-global-69641767.html

No one gives a shit how that site works or whether it's "cookie cutter" or not.

They sign up purely on the USP.

 

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[Esquire]

Check out beautifulpeople.com and some of the PR strategies they've used.

e.g. http://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...-beautifulpeoplecom-goes-global-69641767.html

No one gives a shit how that site works or whether it's "cookie cutter" or not.

They sign up purely on the USP.

1.8 Million turned away ...? Nice hook. I will have to take a look at them. Thanks!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

If it's a "beautiful people" site you might want to seek permission from new users to Instagram their photos. The medium is popular with your market and it can explode a business if you have pictures worth sharing.

 

[Esquire]

If it's a "beautiful people" site you might want to seek permission from new users to Instagram their photos. The medium is popular with your market and it can explode a business if you have pictures worth sharing.

It is (in fact) a beautiful people site.

That's a real good idea. I'll do that. You're right. Those type of pics get a lot of love on social media. Note to self. Thanks!

 

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[RogueInnovation]

I was just thinking about you.
Was going to search up some old threads of yours on this. I'm glad you posted this cuz I can relate.
My past few years have struggled with this apathy stuff (in a different niche).

I think it isn't PR, but simplicity that might be your issue.

Also build a compelling story, make a better tool and then ignite their imaginations with it.


People complain, but to get them to change, you need to get over their inertia.
Have you tried "get active" type marketting? Inspiring them to change habits and mix that in with changing sites.

 

[XOthermic]

That's alot of education that you recieved over that time. So don't quite now when your still a sophmore in college with more learning to go. School is not the best analogy but you get what I'm trying to say.

 

[Esquire]

I was just thinking about you.
Was going to search up some old threads of yours on this. I'm glad you posted this cuz I can relate.
My past few years have struggled with this apathy stuff (in a different niche).

I think it isn't PR, but simplicity that might be your issue.

Also build a compelling story, make a better tool and then ignite their imaginations with it.


People complain, but to get them to change, you need to get over their inertia.
Have you tried "get active" type marketting? Inspiring them to change habits and mix that in with changing sites.

Storytelling ...? No ... haven't tried that (per se). But it is a good idea.

I have (however) recently integrated a WP blog for circulating original content on social media. Rather than circulate someone else's articles on social media ... I figured ... why not create the content and let others circulate mine. Or do like Cosmo and similar magazines on the news rack ... recycle and recirculate "new" articles on topics that have been done time and again.

Legitimate articles ... surrounded with plugs for my site in the margins.

I used to be a news reporter. Not too hard.

And I know that cranking out original content is one of the tactics used by one of the biggest sites. No one seems to mind when you post relevant articles in their Group pages ... if you are giving them legitimate value. That will play a role in my marketing strategy, for sure.

But coming back to the storytelling angle ... I think the WP blog could be good for that sort of thing. Telling stories like the weight loss tabloid ads do ... how things were going real bad ... how they tried this and that to no avail ... then they discovered me ... what we do different ... and how my site changed their life (so to speak). Yeah ... I can see that.

Thanks.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

That's a real good idea.

Please report back on how it goes.

I could see this strategy: Say Lisa from Montreal joins and you accept her, you can Instagram her photo "yourwebsite.com just accepted Lisa from [HASHTAG]#Montreal[/HASHTAG]. Want to meet her? [HASHTAG]#hot[/HASHTAG] [HASHTAG]#yourwebsite[/HASHTAG] [HASHTAG]#dating[/HASHTAG]" or whatever relevant hashtags you can find. I'd use better copy than what I just wrote but you get the gist. Create scarcity. Create the imagery of exclusiveness.

I would caveat this however, make sure your permission arrangement is CLEAR! BIG AND BOLD. People on dating sites like their privacy. Don't bury your "permission disclaimer" in a terms of service, or some fine print. If people don't know what they are disclaiming, it could get ugly. (Why on earth did you Instagram my photo!!?! ARGH!")

 

[RogueInnovation]

That's alot of education that you recieved over that time. So don't quite now when your still a sophmore in college with more learning to go. School is not the best analogy but you get what I'm trying to say.

He is for sure a lot closer than before he had a tier one site up and going that his customers love.
I look at it a bit like football, you have the best team, you gotta coach it through highs and lows until you hit a stride.
Being the best helps, beating the best ain't ever a garuntee, so you gotta grind.

What I love about this post is, he is talking about a second hard grind, and something in me just thinks "yes thats what it should be" cuz resistance + persistance brings out good things, makes us take the edge we need, and if it was immediate success it would suck hard too.

You gotta get to a place where you know you are right, and then get through the fog until everyone else does, it'll drive you nuts but it'll get you there.