My kid just doesn't get it

[biggeemac]

I post this under "slowlane" with a tear under my eye....lol.

I offered my 16 yo son a bunch of crap that I picked up here and there that would EASILY make him 300-400 bucks on ebay with just a few hours work. He tells me he doesnt want it and he doesnt want to work at home listing stuff on Ebay. He wants to work "out there" and make minimum wages. I tried every single angle I could think of to show him the err in his thinking, even telling him that I will hire him for 10 bucks an hour, walk him through everything from beginning to end.....pay him his little $60 and I will keep the profits for myself after he does all the "work". He said "I dont want to work at home, I want to be able to socialize". I told him that It would take him roughly 35 hours of working "out there" to earn the same amount of money. He can work a few hours at home, make $300 bucks, and have all that extra time to socialize. He just kinda has a "stupid" blank look.....the same "stupid" blank look that I have on my face because of how stupid my kid seems to me right now.....ugh !

Sorry, this is half slowlane, half rant. Not sure what else I can say to my kid to get think with at least some kind of logic here. BTW, I never belittle him, even though it sounds that way in my rant. I dont call him stupid, but I sure as hell think it some times. I am literally fearful of what will happen when this kid gets "out there", because it sure seems as though he has zero logic, even though he is very smart and talented.

 

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[Luffy]

Try to lead by example instead of telling him what to do, 16 years of brainwashing won't get undone so easily, in his mind a fastlane doesn't exist.

 

[biggeemac]

I am a non-stop hustler.....I've bankrolled almost 50k since June of last year on one of my hustles. I've started and failed a few businesses ever since he was a kid and tried to plant the fastlane mentality into my kids for years. I didn't just read the book yesterday and decide that I should try and teach my kids. He is just recently of age to go to work.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

His thinking may change after dealing with multiple bosses through life. When he has to do what he's told because the boss says so, and doesn't like it, then minds shift.

 

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[PureA]

His thinking may change after dealing with multiple bosses through life. When he has to do what he's told because the boss says so, and doesn't like it, then minds shift.

That's exactly what got me.

Why would you wanna be the chess piece, when you can be the chess player?

 

[biggeemac]

The fact that my kid thinks that being someone elses bitch is the more desirable route is really getting to me and my wife. The fact that there were two options presented to him and he WILLFULLY wants choice #2 is stunning. We both just sat there and looked at him.

@MJ
Yeah, that's kind of what i am seeing.....he will have to go "out there" and see that it REALLY sucks. Judgmental, arrogant, power hungry, douche bag bosses are a reality.

 

[SEBASTlAN]

I think it's a good idea for him to see how bad it is to work for somebody else, otherwise it's pretty difficult to appreciate what you're offering him i.e. you won't know what's sweet until you taste the bitter

 

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[The-J]

To be fair, all his friends probably have McJobs and have cars and stuff, and he's thinking that the eBay stuff might not work but the McJob is a guaranteed payout. He probably thinks the eBay stuff is too much work and takes too much thinking. A McJob in his mind is easier, or more fulfilling, or both.

Let him get a McJob. Encourage it. Make him do it for six months and see what happens. He'll learn how much it sucks and he'll get to thinking 'So about that ebay stuff..."

 

[MitchC]

It sounds like he just wants to meet people more than make money which isn't a bad thing, all his friends probably have made friends and met girls at their jobs, I liked working when I was at school for that reason. The good thing about having a job when you're at school is that you become friends with all the people at school who have jobs, they can afford to do things and have grown up a bit more and have something in common.

As others have pointed out, it won't take him long to realize once you're older it's going to suck.

 

[socaldude]

First off, kudos to you for being a fastlane dad promoter.

The vast majority of parents are hardcore slowlaners.

It looks like he is just gonna have to see things for himself.

I think he is at an age where "reality" has quite set in. He probably only thinks about hanging out and messing around.

He is gonna have to be independent eventually and what better way to be independent than entrepreneurship.

Its interesting how a slowlane parent would react the same way to their kid's fastlane ideas; "He just doesn't get it!"

 

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[biggeemac]

Its interesting how a slowlane parent would react the same way to their kid's fastlane ideas; "He just doesn't get it!"

Lol....right ! If the exact opposite were happening....slowlane parents vs fastlane kid, the argument would be apples to apples.

 

[Vigilante]

The best thing that ever happened to my son was working in the shit job for somebody else. But… While he's working for something else teach him what he should learn from that business then. What makes a good boss? A good employee? Good processes? Bad processes? How can he be the best at what he does even at his position? There's a lot of stuff you can influence him with while he's working a shit job for somebody else. Eventually it will all crystallize for him.

 

[GSF]

i think what you're trying to do is cool, would have loved to have had an opportunity like that when I was 16, but then again maybe I'd av done the same as your son, when I was 16 my motivation was having fun and opposing authority (as is the same for most that age). I think you have to have the desire to actively seek and learn this entrepreneur business stuff, right now your son prob has no to v low bills and just needs enough cash to go out with mates and party, maybe when he's had a few shity jobs/moved out with bills/ failed first business he'll want to learn

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Use long-term persuasion. Plant seeds now, and let them grow. He's young, and doesn't process things the same way you do. There may be other reasons he wants a job if you read between the lines.

One time I gave up a great opportunity for a minimum wage fast food job.

The hottest girl in the world worked there... the best choice was obvious!

 

[Charnell]

hottest girl in the world

minimum wage fast food job

What planet you on? I'm kiddin!

Let him do the jobby job thing for a bit, maybe he'll pick up a thing or two. I remember when I was working at Wal-mart in high school I found a few great deals I could take advantage of. Namely poptarts that were $1 for a pack of 4 pairs, which I could sell for $1 a pack at school.

 

[Mattie]

My guess : He just wants to be a normal teenager like his buddies. He's just a kid, and you have to remember his priorities at 16 aren't about becoming a millionaire, having a family, or successful life. Usually it's cars, women, sports, video games, gadgets, parties, and having fun. I'd feel sorry for you if he was 25 and up and didn't get it, but he's still in his teens. lol

 

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[ThaRooster]

I post this under "slowlane" with a tear under my eye....lol.

I offered my 16 yo son a bunch of crap that I picked up here and there that would EASILY make him 300-400 bucks on ebay with just a few hours work. He tells me he doesnt want it and he doesnt want to work at home listing stuff on Ebay. He wants to work "out there" and make minimum wages. I tried every single angle I could think of to show him the err in his thinking, even telling him that I will hire him for 10 bucks an hour, walk him through everything from beginning to end.....pay him his little $60 and I will keep the profits for myself after he does all the "work". He said "I dont want to work at home, I want to be able to socialize". I told him that It would take him roughly 35 hours of working "out there" to earn the same amount of money. He can work a few hours at home, make $300 bucks, and have all that extra time to socialize. He just kinda has a "stupid" blank look.....the same "stupid" blank look that I have on my face because of how stupid my kid seems to me right now.....ugh !

Sorry, this is half slowlane, half rant. Not sure what else I can say to my kid to get think with at least some kind of logic here. BTW, I never belittle him, even though it sounds that way in my rant. I dont call him stupid, but I sure as hell think it some times. I am literally fearful of what will happen when this kid gets "out there", because it sure seems as though he has zero logic, even though he is very smart and talented.

I don't think there is a 16 year old in the world that listens to their dad LOL. He will mature one day give him a little time. I read a quote somewhere that said "20's is for learning not for earning" although nothing wrong with earning there's still plenty of time for him.

 

[Unknown]

He doesn't want to listen to his parents. He's 16 so that shouldn't be shocking . Also, he wants to meet girls...because he's 16 .

I met my wife at my first job. I was a bit older when we met though.

Did I mention that he's 16?

 

[dfw1]

Get you kid a job in a call center somewhere in the Dallas area, where the pay is about $9 or $10 dollars an hour and will get to be MICRO MANAGED to death! Logging out and the end of the shift will seem like a celebration of freedom! After a while they'll come around and be more open to 'other opportunities'. That was my turning point, a long time ago.

 

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[Ninjakid]

I felt the same way when I was 18. The previous year I had finished school, but because I was suffering from severe clinical depression, I decided to put my university plans on hold. Someone told me I should try and start my own business, but I was like, nah I want to be out in the world and get experience (whatever the F*ck that meant, now that I think about it).

So I did. Got a job, made okay money, was covered by the union, and I even enjoyed the people I worked with. Even now, I wish I could hire some of them and have them work for me just for fun.

But working there for over a year opened my eyes. I noticed that a lot of people who had been working there for many years barely made ends meet, even though their wages were thought by many to be "good wages". Also, I felt like I could do more with my life. I felt like I shouldn't be there and should be doing something else, so I kinda became disillusioned with my job.

Long story short, once I learned about business and discovered (actually it was a rediscovery) my passion for entrepreneurship, it was no question which one I wanted to do more.

So my point being, once he actually tries working shitty minimum wage jobs, he'll change his mind. Right now, he probably feels influenced by his friends who are working minimum wage jobs and wants to relate to them. But I bet he'll get tired of it and want better.

 

[Guest3722A]

Look at him like a market, understand his demographic and sell him. Find what he would consider valuable. Money obviously isn't the primary motivation.

Does he game or skate or ??

Maybe you can make a deal with him where you'll buy him a couple games (or ??) if he lists some items "on the side" Slowly develop an addiction loop by throwing some variable rewards in there too

 

[ChickenHawk]

Going against the grain, I think it's awesome that your kid wants to go out and get a job. To me, this shows 100 times the ambition of way too many kids AND adults who absolutely refuse to get a job, because "they're entrepreneurs, damn it," even though their actions say otherwise.

He's 16. I think you should be proud of him and yourself. You've raised a kid who doesn't think he's "too good" to get a job. Congrats! Seriously.

Chances are, he'll come around, but he won't come around by you nagging him (sorry!). He'll come around when he's standing over the french-fryer while some drunk-a$$ customer treats him like crap just because he's on the other side of the counter. He'll come around when he sees how little he makes after taxes. He'll come around when he realizes that the only way he can make more money is to work more hours. IMO, he needs this -- if nothing else, so he can appreciate the freedom offered by the other side.

Good luck!

 

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[Andy Black]

Me and my Dad were in a gift shop getting something for mothers day. Saw a sign we both laughed at.

"When my son was 16 he thought I was an idiot. Now he's 22 he thinks I'm a genius. It's amazing how much I learned in 6 years."

 

[Member]

Slowlane versus fastlane
Now that you know socializing is more important to him, show him how flipping on eBay will help his socializing.

He has a house to live in, parents that provide for him, teachers that look out for him. I assume he has no expenses. He doesn't need much money to spend on going to the movies or out to dinner.

Show him how he'll be able to buy stuff you won't buy him. more expensive clothes... new phone... save up for a car... (or whatever purchase he think would help his social life).

If you already pay for all these things (which is normal for parents when their kid is 16) the actual pay of a job may be far down on the list of considerations. And in reality no matter what he does his life won't change much (he might be making a rational decision based on his life experience and life situation).

A lot of retired people get jobs for socializing. They don't need the money so they select their job based on other things. Kids are a lot like retired people in a lot of ways.

Just help him figure out why fastlane is more beneficial to his social life than McDs is. If you're serious then you can stop paying for a lot of his stuff. Once he gets a job, he may realize that socializing on the job is limited and that with his crap job he can't afford the stuff he wants. He may naturally come around at that point.

Sidewalk

Is he already applying for these other jobs he wants to have? If he is then he does not have a sidewalker mentality and as a parent I don't think you have much to worry about... He is going after what he wants and he isn't afraid of working.

Has he mentioned these kinds of jobs before? He may have just picked the first defense that came to mind... He may have no intention of actually getting these jobs he mentioned. He is a normal teenager that doesn't have financial pressures. Of course he's not going to want to do extra work! He doesn't need personal money because he's 16 and his parents money is his personal money.

Do you know if his friends have jobs? Maybe someone he knows met a girl at their job or people at school are impressed they're working or maybe the friend has just bragged about something related to the job. Who knows. He's a kid with little life experience.

I would worry if he has financial pressure, can't afford things he wants, and he is still pursuing poor pay just for socializing. This is sidewalker mentality.

Slowlane versus fastlane has a lot to do with independent mindset and risk tolerance. Success at both strategies requires intelligence and drive. Both are acceptable choices, though they may not be to the people on this forum. You aren't being someone's "bitch" by having a job. You can be very well rewarded going slowlane. Some people just don't want to go it alone and take risks, so they choose slowlane.

Just make sure he doesn't have a sidewalker mentality.

 

[TaylorT]

When I was 15 I took a summer job putting in hardwood floors. It was a lot of hard work, long hours every day, and I got paid minimum wage to do it. From that experience I learned a few things. 1) An even better work ethic than I already had, 2) I did not like working for someone else, and 3) I wanted to do everything in my power to not end up working in some manual labor job my whole life (or even a little portion of it)

To be honest, if I didn't take that job I'm not sure I would have my current drive to start a business and gain financial freedom.

Jobs aren't all bad. How is someone supposed to appreciate the freedom of owning their own business and generating income on their own if they never work under someone else? I'm not saying that's required, but for me getting a job pushed me over the edge and made me realize that I didn't want to work for someone else my whole life. But it didn't take my dad convincing me not to get a job. It all started with a seed planted when I was 14, and then took a few years of me discovering it for myself. There's the common saying, "A smart man learns from their mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others." Although that's great and all, many times it takes us making mistakes or making less than ideal decisions for us to even realize that it was a mistake or a not-so-awesome choice.

Why don't you let him take the job? Let him try it out. Let him complain about it to you, complain about it to his friends, tell you when he had a great day (or a shitty one), let him talk about the drunk guy who came through the drive through, how much he hates it when he has to close on weekends... let him experience it for him self. Then, in the mean time, start slowly introducing him to business and financial freedom. If you are watching TV together, watch shark tank. Around the dinner table talk about how Bill Gates started Microsoft (the actual story, not "he was in the right place, at the right time, in the right area, and got lucky that he struck a gold mine!"), have a light-hearted conversation about Mark Zuckerberg, or Mark Cuban, Thomas Edison etc... Occasionally talk about businesses from a producer's point of view instead of a consumer's. Buy him his own copy of the millionaire fast lane, get him to read it. Have conversations about money. Don't shove the stuff down his throat, just plant seeds.

It's all about planting seeds and being patient while doing things to help them grow. You can't make your son do anything, especially change his mind set and perspective. But you can help him discover the fast lane road for himself.

Oh, and I'm 18. All of my friends have jobs and are chasing higher pay-rates. I try to hint that there's something more occasionally and lay a principle down now and then. Right now they think I'm crazy for not having a job and "settling" for 500 dollars a month, but I'm confident that eventually one or two of them will come around.

There's my two cents. Good Luck!!

 

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[gnp916]

I post this under "slowlane" with a tear under my eye....lol.

I offered my 16 yo son a bunch of crap that I picked up here and there that would EASILY make him 300-400 bucks on ebay with just a few hours work. He tells me he doesnt want it and he doesnt want to work at home listing stuff on Ebay. He wants to work "out there" and make minimum wages. I tried every single angle I could think of to show him the err in his thinking, even telling him that I will hire him for 10 bucks an hour, walk him through everything from beginning to end.....pay him his little $60 and I will keep the profits for myself after he does all the "work". He said "I dont want to work at home, I want to be able to socialize". I told him that It would take him roughly 35 hours of working "out there" to earn the same amount of money. He can work a few hours at home, make $300 bucks, and have all that extra time to socialize. He just kinda has a "stupid" blank look.....the same "stupid" blank look that I have on my face because of how stupid my kid seems to me right now.....ugh !

Sorry, this is half slowlane, half rant. Not sure what else I can say to my kid to get think with at least some kind of logic here. BTW, I never belittle him, even though it sounds that way in my rant. I dont call him stupid, but I sure as hell think it some times. I am literally fearful of what will happen when this kid gets "out there", because it sure seems as though he has zero logic, even though he is very smart and talented.

Hey biggee I saw a post about your kid and you said something about making money through eBay, I been looking for posts that will guide me through it. Do you recommend me any threads or posts?

I'm currently getting a little better of minimum wage ($12/hr). I'm in a $5000 debt from school I was going to collage but decided I didn't like it specially because they make you get classes you dont need which I have to pay for. Read the get rich books and this is the lifestyle I been looking for. At 16 man, I thought I knew everything. Your son is blind but he is very lucky to have a dad that knows the path to the fast lane. I wish I had a dad like that, my family is actually blind and thinks I'm dumb and they tell me to stop being foolish and just go to school.
The for listening

 

[jon.a]

Hey biggee I saw a post about your kid and you said something about making money through eBay, I been looking for posts that will guide me through it. Do you recommend me any threads or posts?

I'm currently getting a little better of minimum wage ($12/hr). I'm in a $5000 debt from school I was going to collage but decided I didn't like it specially because they make you get classes you dont need which I have to pay for. Read the get rich books and this is the lifestyle I been looking for. At 16 man, I thought I knew everything. Your son is blind but he is very lucky to have a dad that knows the path to the fast lane. I wish I had a dad like that, my family is actually blind and thinks I'm dumb and they tell me to stop being foolish and just go to school.
The for listening

Read this...
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/search/1155606/?q=ebay&o=date

 

[biggeemac]

There's a ton of good threads on this forum about it. Dont have any money.....start with your parents house and find crap that they arent using anymore and flip it onto ebay and craigslist. Then build from there and expand to other peoples households. That pretty much sums it up. I've handed my kid $300 bucks worth of stuff that I picked up here and there for free or cheap to get him started. If it doesn't spark some interest for him than nothing will. Guitar Hero guitars can be picked up from thrift shops for $5 bucks or less, but they sell on ebay for 20-80 bucks. Start figuring it out !

 

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