Keeping in touch with your network?

[William Gibson]

So lately i've been reading through icecreamkids secrets thread and he talks a lot about loving people, and a few posts in there talked about being curious.

I have begun to take on that attitude the last few weeks and MAN its incredible how much easier it is talk to people and genuinely meet great people when you take on that mentality. So lately i have met a lot of great people, a met a few potential mentors. Or more just people i can learn from

My question is, and i have struggled with this pretty much all my life, is how do you stay in contact with your netwrok. I hate to say network, it sounds superficial.

How do you stay in touch with your friends?

I'm not a big texter, and when I do I'm pretty bad at it. Which is weird I'm 19 I should be great. But I just prefer to talk on the phone if i want to talk to someone. But everybody basically stays in touch through text around me. And I will go months without talking to my friends cause I simply don't feel the need to talk to them. Not that I don't care about them. Cause I will call and say whats up but they don't like talking on the phone. And once you start building a powerful network you can't possibly call everyone. People tend to take my absence of texts as we aren't as close as we used to be, which isn't the case to me. But i see how it makes them feel that way.

So how do i prevent that? Not only with my friends, but with people I have just met once or twice, that I'd like to build a stronger relationship with?

 

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[Daniel A]

I'm 21 now, but I had a period of introspection and retreat around your age. I definitely benefited from it.

Anyways, do you play sports?

I've been skating (skateboarding) with some of my old friends (elementary and high school) lately. I was supposed to go today, but it didn't work out. Plus, if you've ever been into skate culture (adding on top of that -- in California) you'll know that it's very easy to meet new people at skate parks. Usually very chill with jokes all around.

Soccer is the other sport I played the most. Pick up games are really easy to set up too. One guy knows another, then those know another, etc. Then it becomes a regular thing. Sandlot style.

I don't text much either. Use it to meet up, but definitely don't spend a lot of time having conversations through it. The next day if you look back at those texts you'll see the text amount and time amount ... it's not worth it, hahaha.

One of my best friends (also from way back) joined the military so every once in a while we call each other to stay in touch. As guys, I think we know we don't need to be in contact all the time and probably don't use social media much. So calling and meeting is best. This upcoming summer my friend in the military and I might go camping Bear Grylls style since we didn't last summer. I've actually noticed a lot of people our age wanting to go or going camping a lot.

By the way this is something I'm still working on too man. I want to keep visiting the university that I'm going to transfer to to meet new people there. I talked to some people the last time I was there, it's not that hard. You're 19 man -- a great age to meet lots of new people.

Be cool, be real, stay in school. Lol. :joyful: Not really serious about the last one. I only wanted to flow with the rhymes.

P.S. You asked about staying in touch with your network. But expanding it is also a good idea.

 

[William Gibson]

I'm actually going through the period of introspection now. I keep to myself for the most part, work on my own projects

I don't really have an issue meeting people, I play basketball , lift, go to concerts, model, so I have interests all over board, meeting people has become a lot easier now that i'm actually pursing hobbies

My issue is I will go months without talking to people, I don't feel alone or anything, I just prefer to keep to myself these days. But if I run across an issue that I know someone else can handle I always feel bad about hitting them up cause I pretty much showed I don't care unless I need something

 

[William Gibson]

So after typing this out
I think the real problem is I am simply not taking the time to show the people I care about that I care about them.

I read a post that relationships require your time and effort. Which is something we all "know" but don't regularly apply.

So i just need to take the time out of my days to do it really
Although I would like a more efficient way to do it regularly

 

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[JasonR]

Be someone that connects people ALL the time.

Oh you know someone launching a fitness product? Hook him up with your other fitness owner buddy. Rinse and repeat. This goes a LONG way.

Friends don't like to pick up the phone? Call them anyways, leave a message. It's on them if they won't call you back.

Do you drive? I love calling people when I'm driving (although I rarely have to drive any more). Pick someone you haven't talked to in a while and just shoot the shit.

Keeping up your network takes time, but it's well worth it.

Don't forget about meeting new people.

Pick up the F*ckin' phone!

 

[William Gibson]

@JasonR Thank You, that helps a lot man

 

[Goobii]

Pick up the F*ckin' phone!

Works a charm in this social media age.. I often get 'Oh! message me on FB!' I usually reply by I rather just talk to you on the phone or better face to face.
The people that don't often get a call often are so grateful that you called & actually spoke to them from the heart!
I tried to maintain most of my relationships with friends from high school/uni. Only the ones that matter, and only the ones that are chasing their dreams & pushing me forward to achieve mine.

With busy people - like entreprenuers, If I have their mobile numbers I usually send a text. If no mobile - then usually reach out to them via email. Most will often answer with a yes to catch up. You have to remember they want a change from their normal scenario as well.

 

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[Daniel A]

@William Gibson That sounds about right. Like I said, I pretty much did the same thing around your age. It might be beneficial for you to just go through that process too.

If I could go back though, I would be as productive as possible during that time. Do your best to not get distracted by petty things (especially on the ever-distracting internet).

One of the fist books I bought and read that was recommended on the forum was called: The Money Code: Become a Millionaire With the Ancient Jewish Code by H. W. Charles. In it, one of the pieces of advice was to practice the Sabbath or have one day as rest every week. I grew up Roman Catholic so that wasn't anything new to me, but it's something I want to work on. During that one day you could go out and do something with your current network or meet new people. Make it one of your conscious goals. It might be counter-intuitive, but taking some time off (one day a week) is probably much more beneficial than trying to go on without any rest.

Anyways, the advice Jason gave was the straight to the point / concise answer needed...

Not staying in touch with your network / friends? Call them!

 

[FionaS]

My big secret is a website called Contactually. It keeps track of when you last talked to someone (social media, phone, email, or you can manually input in person) and will prompt you to contact them again at a time interval that you decide.The free version doesn't sync social media or more than one email address (only the paid ones do that) but there is a great 30 day trial and even the free version is very useful.

It's just a good way to remember to stay in touch with others.

 

[Andy Black]

Years ago I used to be the one initiating catching up with friends all the time. One thing I loved doing was just turning up on someone's door a few hours drive away, or wandering up to them when they were working on the door of a nightclub when I hadn't seen them for years and surprising them. Those moments stick in my memory. Great fun and times. Do that camping trip. It sounds awesome.

20 years on and I've a family of my own and much less time to keep up with all the friends I've made over the years. I try and keep in more contact with family than ever before, and catch up with friends every now and then. But then, they also have families and are in the same boat. Not a month goes by though when someone who I haven't spoken to in years just pops up on the radar. You'll pick up where you left off, even if there's been 5 years since the last catch up (and then you'll have so much more to talk about too).

I don't mind at all if someone I haven't spoken to in a decade suddenly pings me asking about website stuff. We end up having a good old catch up at the same time. Don't worry about that - give them the opportunity to help you.

Enjoy meeting people. finding out about them, surprise them with little things, have a blast, and don't stress it man. Take pleasure in meeting people, helping them, and going with the flow. It's such an awesomely big world out there!

Oh, and don't put yourself under pressure to "have to" do anything. Do it because you enjoy it.

 

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[Semmy]

My big secret is a website called Contactually. It keeps track of when you last talked to someone (social media, phone, email, or you can manually input in person) and will prompt you to contact them again at a time interval that you decide.The free version doesn't sync social media or more than one email address (only the paid ones do that) but there is a great 30 day trial and even the free version is very useful.

It's just a good way to remember to stay in touch with others.

Just looked at this - I am using currently www.onepagecrm.com that has an interesting cycle for following up with people.
I was about to sign up for Contactually to give their trial a try - but then they asked me to enter my email server details
so my emails can be routed throught their service in order to "monitor" contacts. I have to pass about that - that is way too
much giving up privacy. Thanks for sharing the resource though, I never heard of them before!

 

[snowbank]

I'm 19

I'm 21 now, but I had a period of introspection and retreat around your age

this is epic

You asked about staying in touch with your network. But expanding it is also a good idea.

Agreed.

At 19 or 21, your network will be completely different in 5, 10, or 20 years. The only people who's networks don't change are the people that don't grow. As you get into different hobbies, or different businesses, or different relationships, and if you keep working on improving yourself your network will change accordingly.

 

[snowbank]

Be someone that connects people ALL the time.

Oh you know someone launching a fitness product? Hook him up with your other fitness owner buddy. Rinse and repeat. This goes a LONG way.

Friends don't like to pick up the phone? Call them anyways, leave a message. It's on them if they won't call you back.

Do you drive? I love calling people when I'm driving (although I rarely have to drive any more). Pick someone you haven't talked to in a while and just shoot the shit.

Keeping up your network takes time, but it's well worth it.

Don't forget about meeting new people.

Pick up the F*ckin' phone!

This!

Give value. Then give more value. Then keep giving value.

You're going to find many people take value from you, then take more value from you, then keep taking.

You'll be able to eliminate the takers over time, and have a network where it's other people who genuinely care about giving value.

As you grow your network will grow, and the takers will be left with the very short term wins of taking, and not giving.

Read the book Essentialism. Apply it to your network.

 

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[MaximusAurelius]

Great suggestions in here already. I'll list out my favorite ways of staying in touch with people.

For close friends who aren't in my physical location - scheduling a phone-call every few months when they pop back up into my mind.

For close friends & acquaintances who are in my physical location - weekly dinner party (has HUGE benefits for your social capital. Doing this has worked wonders for my business & personal(dating) life)

For acquaintances who aren't in my physical location - Facebook (commenting on their statuses, making intros), facebook groups, facebook messaging saying good luck with new project/whats up, occasionally e-mailing if it's biz related (JV partners, etc)

Everything else I let people stay up to date with me through my e-mail list