How to find a strong why?

[Yasai]

I know but i want to be able to get what i want when i want and for that you need money, and to get that fast you need to be a fastlaner.

What comes after "getting what I want"?

 

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[Formless]

Since we're spamming you with book recommendations.

The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Waltz. It's a book dedicated entirely to changing your self image, beyond just the scope of business, and it's not just rah-rah philososhit either.

Oh, and if you come from a broken family, read:

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover - that's concerning a change of self-image which was born SPECIFICALLY due to a lack of a strong father figure (this is not a man beating the shit out of you under the pretense of tough love btw). Of course, disregard if it doesn't apply.

 

[Brentnal]

I just ordered 5 books i couldn't handle it anymore

The books:

· Choose yourself by james Altucher

· You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor

· Third Circle theory

• Outliers by Malcom gladwell
• The Personal MBA

 

[Brentnal]

What comes after "getting what I want"?

Warm feelings of hapiness and fullfilment i hope, and if i still aint happy atleast i can say that i am free and can give my future kids everything they want.

 

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[Yasai]

Warm feelings of hapiness and fullfilment i hope, and if i still aint happy atleast i can say that i am free and can give my future kids everything they want.

You might be in for a rude awakening.

 

[Formless]

You have not understood the book.

It is not an event. There is no destination, or at least it doesn't feel like a finish line. Re-read the book. Process vs Events.

EDIT: Not quite, there is a destination. But not in the way you think. The magic lightning bolt will not solve your problems.

 

[William Gibson]

Comiing from someone whos 19 asking that same question, i think you should not worry about finding your "why" and just go live life man.
Im going to assume youre 16, so you have so much life ahead of you. Get a job, get some cash into your pockets and use that money to go try new things. Go try be an artist, or model, or start your own business, or travel if you can afford it. Just go experience life, and experience people, take in as much of the world as you can and you will eventually find your why.

Another thing that's helpful to reinforcing my why was pinterest, i went on there, and found a bunch of shit that i wanted, cars, houses, lifestyle pics, clothes, nice hotel rooms, beaches, women. And because i firmly believe all of this is attainable if i work hard enough, the feeling of desire and want built inside of me, like i could literally feel it in my belly, and its compelled me to get up at 7 every morning and go workout, then head to the library and read for 3 hours, then work on a personal project (music production).

 

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[Brentnal]

What if your WHY was to help as many people as you could?

Does helping someone motivate you?

How do you feel when you have helped someone and can see the difference you've made?

IMO, when your WHY is helping other people, then everything else will fall into place naturally.

Still working on this myself, but this is my preferred WHY.

I am a selfish person, but if i help someone i feel good on the inside. But in the long run i am doing this for myself and i can't get any motivation thinking about the idea to help soceity.

 

[RBefort]

I am a selfish person, but if i help someone i feel good on the inside. But in the long run i am doing this for myself and i can't get any motivation thinking about the idea to help soceity.

Holy moly...I am selfish as well, and people royally piss me off. But do you not want to imprint your name into society? All of the names they talk about in books you read over and over and OVER...Edison, Franklin, Jobs, Ford, on and on....these people changed mankind. I get where you are coming from somewhat, but you are stressing too hard over something too early. Granted, it's never too young to start...but I am 28 and lost as well. You are 12 years younger. I can't even list the things I went through from 16 to 28. Books won't provide all of the answers for you (but yet I keep reading to find them also). Just have to experiment. For instance, I started doing craigslist/ebay/amazon flipping...found out I pretty much hate it. Learned a bit about selling, negotiation, etc...but this won't get me to where I want to be specifically. Time to pivot or change course.

 

[Brentnal]

Holy moly...I am selfish as well, and people royally piss me off. But do you not want to imprint your name into society? All of the names they talk about in books you read over and over and OVER...Edison, Franklin, Jobs, Ford, on and on....these people changed mankind. I get where you are coming from somewhat, but you are stressing too hard over something too early. Granted, it's never too young to start...but I am 28 and lost as well. You are 12 years younger. I can't even list the things I went through from 16 to 28. Books won't provide all of the answers for you (but yet I keep reading to find them also). Just have to experiment. For instance, I started doing craigslist/ebay/amazon flipping...found out I pretty much hate it. Learned a bit about selling, negotiation, etc...but this won't get me to where I want to be specifically. Time to pivot or change course.

Naturally i am a lazy person, no i don't really care to imprint my name in soceity, i just want to be a happy person with the freedom to do what i want and to get what i want when i want to sum it all up.
From my understanding this is not the right way of thinking to get money, and my fear is if i don't correct this i will stay poor. I fear that i miss out if i don't get rich. I need some sort of motivation, i can force myself to do things but eventually my discipline runs out, you have gotta find this internal push.

 

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[RBefort]

I have some of the same fears, and working to overcome the limiting beliefs. I, too, feel like I will miss out on a lot by not becoming wealthy. But the way to get there is by providing, building, creating something for others. They are the pathway to your happiness. If you want to get rich without helping others or solving problems, you might as well be a stock trader, go against the laws of society, do something illegal, etc. You are also implying that the only key to your happiness in life is money. You are in for a rude awakening if so. Sometimes I place too much emphasis on this as well, but I still find enjoyment in doing things that don't cost me any money at all. You sound like it's money or a life of shits. Being lazy won't get you money...there's always work involved, unless you win the lottery. You are young, however, so it will change over time...hopefully.

 

[Andy Black]

I am a selfish person, but if i help someone i feel good on the inside. But in the long run i am doing this for myself and i can't get any motivation thinking about the idea to help soceity.

Don't think about helping "society", that's too faceless.

Start by helping one *person* at a time.

Meet someone in business you know. Offer to help them.

You're going to let them down if you don't follow through now, and it's someone you know so you can't hide.



I started the "shift" when I helped a tradesman I knew get more sales leads. He paid the advertising costs, I put in the hours for free. I learned how to generate leads for one person, and can now do it for others.

Don't get me wrong. Helping other businessmen and women generate more leads for their businesses is a big passion for me, but it's not my *biggest* WHY.

My biggest why is that I have my own tribe now. I am their provider. I keep the roof over their head and stability in their lives.

The biggest fear I have is that if I don't overcome these limiting beliefs of my own, then I leave it up to my children to grow up and solve it themselves.

THAT I will not allow.

I have to become the man I want my sons to grow up to be.

That's *my* WHY.

I'm guessing you don't have children yet.

What man or woman do you want to be when you have a son or daughter of your own?

 

[Brentnal]

I have some of the same fears, and working to overcome the limiting beliefs. I, too, feel like I will miss out on a lot by not becoming wealthy. But the way to get there is by providing, building, creating something for others. They are the pathway to your happiness. If you want to get rich without helping others or solving problems, you might as well be a stock trader, go against the laws of society, do something illegal, etc. You are also implying that the only key to your happiness in life is money. You are in for a rude awakening if so. Sometimes I place too much emphasis on this as well, but I still find enjoyment in doing things that don't cost me any money at all. You sound like it's money or a life of shits. Being lazy won't get you money...there's always work involved, unless you win the lottery. You are young, however, so it will change over time...hopefully.

I know the way to get there is by providing value and then selling it (solving needs/selling solutions). But i don't have strong enough passion and internal drive and reasons to solve problems for soceity, i can just go to school work and be average, but then i might aswell end up as a sidewalker. I have to make money.
I F*cking hate money, i just want the freedom.

Because of the fastlane book i have seen the world how it really is and my daily fear is getting lost in the rat race. Before the book i had no fears of being average but now i just can't leave it alone.

 

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[Brentnal]

What man (or woman) do you want to be when you do have children?

I want to be a loving father/mentor and a person they can ask for advice. But i don't have to be a succesful enthrepeneur for that and that means no money.
The only reason i found the book was because of one thing and that is money, otherwise i was still playing on my ps3.

Life is hard without a why. Everyday i am wondering what do i want to do later in life, school is boring same routine stuff. Is this life? My thinking everyday.

If one day i won 20 million, i would just quit school and travel the world experience things, i am not an enthrepeneur, i am a person that just wants to enjoy life and money is in my way, i dont really care about money i care about experiences and enjoyment.

But because i need money for this my first focus is money, but its a bad focus according to succesful business people and the book.

 

[Yasai]

You want the event and not the process, basically.

i dont really care about money i care about experiences and enjoyment.

Building a business can be an adventure ("enjoyable experience" as you would call it).
Everything in life requires work - even travelling the world (one of your ambitions). You need to catch your flights, walk from A to B, need to deal with the locals, you might catch some tropical diseases etc.

...and yet you would enjoy it. You tolerate the hardships because you think travelling is inherently enjoyable.
Just do the same with regards to building a business and you should have no problem.

If you still can't motivate yourself, then maybe you aren't cut out to be rich. And that's cool, too.

 

[Zachariah Lange]

I want all the good things in life: Freedom,nice cars, maybe a private jet,women.

But i don't really got a why that makes me work real hard and forces me to do things i don't really want to do.
I want to make money with i guess: buying and selling things of ebay and importing from China, i don't have any hobbies (but i can think of things i would really enjoy but they don't make money) and i force myself to read books about business and enthrepeneurship.

I don't know if it is my age but everyday i wonder what the F*ck do i want to do with my life, sometimes i get mad i want to be somebody but i don't know what.

Did you guys have had this to in the past and how did it turned out?

I would like to know how you guys force yourselves to make money and work hard, how do you guys think when you are working hard. When i am in class i force myself to work very hard and it works, i just act like a robot.

But if i do this with my projects i keep on thinking entrepeneurship is supposed to be fun right?

Maybe i just need to set some goals and do it without thinking right?

Am i thinking to much?

So... these are some thoughts wondering inside my head

I found the trick is to always have short term goals. They can be as simple as "I am going to shampoo the carpets on tuesday.". You always have long term goals, and a path to reach them but they really take years to come to fruition. You don't get the gratification of your hard work until you reach your goal, so having goals that you can reach right now today fills that void.

Also, the long term goals are important. If I am grinding and working my a$$ off and need some motivation I have a clear picture of how much closer my work is bringing me to that eventuality.

I don't know how old you are, but if you came straight out of highschool went straight to college who always works and never lives, then I think you need to find time to experience life more. Life is the motivation for everything in the end. If you have experiences that show you how great life can be, you get a much clearer picture of where you want to go.

 

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[Brentnal]

Life is the motivation for everything in the end. If you have experiences that show you how great life can be, you get a much clearer picture of where you want to go.

I was thinking about this exact same thing yesterday, i have never really experienced ultimate happiness and something like an ultra luxury experience.
Maybe thats what i need. To get what i want.
MJ DeMarco had this with the lambo when he went to get icecream, i need a similair experience.
If one day that happens and i still don't got the motivation to get trough the procces, then i just need to live my life and someday i will find my motivation for something.

 

[Brentnal]

Building a business can be an adventure ("enjoyable experience" as you would call it).
Everything in life requires work - even travelling the world (one of your ambitions). You need to catch your flights, walk from A to B, need to deal with the locals, you might catch some tropical diseases etc.

...and yet you would enjoy it. You tolerate the hardships because you think travelling is inherently enjoyable.
Just do the same with regards to building a business and you should have no problem.
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If you still can't motivate yourself, then maybe you aren't cut out to be rich. And that's cool, too.

I understand what you are saying, and you are right. But its hard for a young kid to understand that hard work is part of life, because of the fastlane book i feel like i am supposed to be rich, but that is just plain stupid. I can sense that everyday when i am forced to go to school i accept more and more that hard work is part of life.
You just can't accept it immediately. If one day i have kids i am going to teach this valuable lesson to them and not pamper them thats for sure. Or they will end up being a lazy a$$ like me now.

 

[Zachariah Lange]

I was thinking about this exact same thing yesterday, i have never really experienced ultimate happiness and something like an ultra luxury experience.
Maybe thats what i need. To get what i want.
MJ DeMarco had this with the lambo when he went to get icecream, i need a similair experience.
If one day that happens and i still don't got the motivation to get trough the procces, then i just need to live my life and someday i will find my motivation for something.

There's your problem! You think ice cream and Lambos is what makes life great?! You have no idea. What makes life great cannot be measured in dollars and cents. Yes, it is easier to experience those things when you have financial freedom, but anyone from a bum on the street to MJ can experience life. Life is free, but has more value than any product or bank account. A lambo or any object or amount of money will never be able to motivate someone to greatness.

 

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[Silverhawk851]

You're 16, you don't need your Life's WHY figured out.
Takes time, alot of stumbling, falling face first in the mud, getting back up, shot down again, and then eventually start gaining wisdom.

Just go experiment with alot of stuff, eventually you'll experience shitty situations that you NEVER want,
and situations that you do want.
And that will drive you.

And if you say, I don't want to fall and experience pain by trial and error...

Realize that babies learn to walk by falling down. Falling down is not the enemy. Actually, it's necessary.
Pain is not you're enemy. Pain causes you to grow.
Embrace it, and move forward!

 

[Andy Black]

You're 16, you don't need your Life's WHY figured out.
Takes time, alot of stumbling, falling face first in the mud, getting back up, shot down again, and then eventually start gaining wisdom.

Just go experiment with alot of stuff, eventually you'll experience shitty situations that you NEVER want,
and situations that you do want.
And that will drive you.

And if you say, I don't want to fall and experience pain by trial and error...

Realize that babies learn to walk by falling down. Falling down is not the enemy. Actually, it's necessary.
Pain is not you're enemy. Pain causes you to grow.
Embrace it, and move forward!

Awesome. Totally agree. You discover your why over time.

@ThePsychologist said this much better than I can:

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." Mark Twain

But...

Finding your purpose is not something that can be rushed. It is something that you find out one day. Life is an unfolding process of becoming. Becoming the person you want to be, the person you are destined to be is not something you should worry about or think about. You already are the person you are going to be. You will know your purpose when the time comes. Dont waste your time on trying to find your purpose, use your time to become what you are.

Your thought will create an act, your act will create a habit, your habit will create a character, your character will create a purpose.