Your biggest mental struggle?

[Kung Fu Steve]

Hey guys, I am looking for some feedback. I hope, if you wouldn't mind, you could give me some quick answers to these questions. Thanks!

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)


I know these are pretty intense and complex questions but if you could answer them I would really appreciate it. I am working on my personal development material and this is a perfect place to find people who have struggled, are currently struggling, and don't struggle! :smxB:

Thanks all!

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

re: Your bigest mental struggle?

Bueller?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

re: Your bigest mental struggle?

I missed it ... Ill answer tomorrow.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

re: Your bigest mental struggle?

I changed the thread title in hopes to garner a better response.

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

Focus, and focus in light of no results. Staying the course is easy when you have repetitive reassurance from the market, staying the course with nothing to show for it other than your own passion and intuition is more challenging.

2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

Aiming to be a better Christian.

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

At the moment, I am an unsuccessful book author. What is missing is a stronger passion. Everyone talks about vision boards ... but no one talks about "what happens after everything on the vision board has come true?" Sure, I could make another but those "visions" would be secondary and lack strength of passion. Having labeled myself as "retired" has not helped my motivation to act in a manner that I would have acted 5 years ago.

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

I came from a broken family with a messy divorce. I believe that experience has corrupted my perception on marriage. While I'm not adverse to getting married, a good start would not to be so cynical about it.

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

1. Thinking Big. I thought I did because I had big dreams and big goals, but it's a bit different then that...

2. I am successful because I am improving myself. I'm on this journey. I tend to forget this sometime but still, I'm happier than ever now...

3. More action, more hustle, thicker skin for criticism and more creative and open mind.

4. Not being focused and not knowing myself well. From now on learning more stuff about myself, expressing and expanding it is very important to me.

Cheers

 

[Knightsman]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

At the moment, I am an unsuccessful book author. What is missing is a stronger passion.

I have an idea on this, not sure if you would like it or not. But i've read some books that the author didnt actually write. Meaning that the they either hired someone or knew someone that would sit down with the author and listen, ask questions, evaluate, and so on.

That experienced writer would then put it into book form for under the authors own words.

I saw where you said you had plenty to write but had trouble getting it to make it easier for the readers.

Just an idea.

 

[PaulRobert]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

Past- Caring what others said or thought about me.
Current- A little confidence issue and not tripping on my own words.

2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

Thinking out of the box.

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

Achieving financial freedom, trading 0 for 7 and the time to do whatever I choose.

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

Past- Fear of rejection, people putting me down, and fear of losing.
Present- Having to go to school, instead of using the full day to work on my project. ( I'm still a good student. )

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

MJ, how do you know you are unsuccessful book author if your book isn't even on sale yet and there is no way to know what impact does it make on people's lives??? I think it's BS...too early to make assumption like that. Unless your content sucks... which I doubt..

Now stop doubting yourself, this is not how you achieved what you have already achieved...

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

MJ, how do you know you are unsuccessful book author if your book isn't even on sale yet and there is no way to know what impact does it make on people's lives??? I think it's BS...too early to make assumption like that. Unless your content sucks... which I doubt..

Now stop doubting yourself, this is not how you achieved what you have already achieved...

No no, I don't mean in terms of having people like it.

The moment I finish and have something tangible that I can physically hand to a person, then i will move from "unsuccessful" to "successful". My determination of "a successful book author" doesn't lie in how many buy it (and love it or hate it) but in actual completion of the project itself. The sale figures will not be relevant to me as far as an author goes ... the sales figures will be reflective of how successful I am as a marketer.

Right now I need to be a successful author, not a successful marketer. At some point, that role will need to reverse.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

At the moment, I am an unsuccessful book author. What is missing is a stronger passion. Everyone talks about vision boards ... but no one talks about "what happens after everything on the vision board has come true?" Sure, I could make another but those "visions" would be secondary and lack strength of passion. Having labeled myself as "retired" has not helped my motivation to act in a manner that I would have acted 5 years ago.

Isn't that the truth? Reaching a goal and asking "Is this all there is?" .. very empty scary feeling at least for me I know. I set a goal long ago to be one of the best martial artists, ended up taking two national titles, but I asked that question "now what." Then, I set the goal of becoming a ladies man... well I achieved that too. Sure there are funny stories but it didn't make me happy. After that I decided I wanted to open my martial arts school. Piece of cake. Still the question lingers "Is this all there is?"

I guess I have two thoughts on this (and remember I am working on my personal development stuff currently, not that anyone here needs "help" but please correct me where I'm wrong so I can get it down better :smx19

It goes to show that we don't really care about achieving the goal, we care about the journey. We like the drama, the intrigue, the challenges, all these things that make us grow as a person.

I tell my students all the time; "It's not necessarily getting the black belt that is important, it's who you become in the process."

The other thing I would mention is that creating a new goal after you have achieved one gets more and more difficult. You start to link pain to achieving goals because of that empty feeling you get when you achieve them. I think that the best thing to do is to set up a time line, instead of goals being the "finish line" they are just the next stop. What I'm trying to say is to plan goals far in advance so the next step in the journey is already planned. Instead of sitting at the gas station in the town you arrived at wondering "where the hell do I go next?"

I came from a broken family with a messy divorce. I believe that experience has corrupted my perception on marriage. While I'm not adverse to getting married, a good start would not to be so cynical about it.

We all link pain to certain things, and we are all scared that things might not work out. It's simple to say "well you'll never know if you don't try." But that certainly isn't enough. Changing the thought process to "what will I miss out on if I DON'T do this?" will definitely produce a better quality thought process at least :smxB:.

3. More action, more hustle, thicker skin for criticism and more creative and open mind.

Cheers

If you don't mind, what is the action you are trying to produce? What is the goal of hustling?

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

Achieving financial freedom, trading 0 for 7 and the time to do whatever I choose.

Just like starting a business with no exit strategy (like me :smx4, what would you do AFTER you achieve this? Will you lie on the beach for the rest of your life sipping margaritas?


EVERYONE:

Thank you sooooo much for your replies, you have no idea how much it means to me. Really, Thank you.

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

No no, I don't mean in terms of having people like it.

The moment I finish and have something tangible that I can physically hand to a person, then i will move from "unsuccessful" to "successful". My determination of "a successful book author" doesn't lie in how many buy it (and love it or hate it) but in actual completion of the project itself. The sale figures will not be relevant to me as far as an author goes ... the sales figures will be reflective of how successful I am as a marketer.

Right now I need to be a successful author, not a successful marketer. At some point, that role will need to reverse.

I see! :smxF: Still, writing a book is huge deal and a success itself!:smx9: Not everyone gets a chance to write something that can make a difference in people's life!

@ Kung Fu Steve, I need to take action in improving my content, improving marketing of the blog and making it more popular! I have been really slouching on that recently! Time to fix it!

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

@ Kung Fu Steve, I need to take action in improving my content, improving marketing of the blog and making it more popular! I have been really slouching on that recently! Time to fix it!

But what is stopping you?

 

[Gymjunkie]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

But what is stopping you?

If you give it some thought... nothing really, just excuses... I was in that stage of project when you are into it for some time, you expect results too soon and they don't show up yet. Some quit then, some don't. I don't! I lost focus.. I could give some reason but whatever... I'm refocusing myself and gonna be hustling way more!

 

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[James Fake]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

Big mental challenge: Taking a break. Specifically mentally. I think of business alot, and it's hard for me to chill out and think about other things.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

If you give it some thought... nothing really, just excuses... I was in that stage of project when you are into it for some time, you expect results too soon and they don't show up yet. Some quit then, some don't. I don't! I lost focus.. I could give some reason but whatever... I'm refocusing myself and gonna be hustling way more!

But there's something more there under the surface. We all make excuses (I sure as hell know I do) for not doing something BECAUSE... (insert fear here) ...

Results are definitely the reinforcement that we all need. MJ is tough in that aspect that even without results he pushed through. Maybe we can ask him what was the primary motivator for pushing through even though it wasn't working at the time??

We've all read his story, enough ramen noodles and easy mac will make any man go insane but I think it comes down to MUST instead of SHOULD.

 

[Gymjunkie]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

But there's something more there under the surface. We all make excuses (I sure as hell know I do) for not doing something BECAUSE... (insert fear here) ...

Results are definitely the reinforcement that we all need. MJ is tough in that aspect that even without results he pushed through. Maybe we can ask him what was the primary motivator for pushing through even though it wasn't working at the time??

We've all read his story, enough ramen noodles and easy mac will make any man go insane but I think it comes down to MUST instead of SHOULD.

I'm not thinking big and creative enough too. To take my blog to next level. I don't think there was fear... maybe...but I was just lazy going between changing jobs in real life and learning more info about business in general instead of taking action. What fear could be behind it I don't know. But I was not satisfied with the results from what I've done, had too high expectations (as a lot of people starting out do probably).

 

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[kwerner]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

"what happens after everything on the vision board has come true?"

MJ - You're already doing the "after", you just may not be completely aware of the impact it's making; but you're investing in PEOPLE. And that kind of goes along with your answer to question #2 as well...

I listened to a great audio interview last week regarding investing in people, the interviewee was someone that had become rich in commercial real estate, and probably had completed his vision board as well. But after a financial calamity in his life, he came to the conclusion that building a real estate empire that will eventually turn to dust is not nearly as important as building up and investing in PEOPLE.

In the interview, he asks "If you were given the opportunity to have 1 hour on your final day to look back on your life... what would you have to see, in order to call your life a successful life?... Would you like to be able to look into the face of God and say, "I have finished the work you have given me to do."?"

Reference: John 17:4 "I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do."

You may have to do some soul searching to discover what that work is MJ, but I believe that you're pretty close to being on track. Look at all that you have already given and shared with us - and how many lives you've been able to impact with just this little internet forum! I'm very grateful that you've invested your time and energy into making this community what it is - you're making investments in US.

So, :cheers: to your continued work!


P.S. To listen to the "Lifeonaire" interview, you can Click Here. (Warning, it's a long interview - probably an hour+ long)

 

[PaulRobert]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

Just like starting a business with no exit strategy (like me :smx4, what would you do AFTER you achieve this? Will you lie on the beach for the rest of your life sipping margaritas?

Well when I hit the financially free mile stone, I will take a few months off and then begin another business and also begin investing in real estate.

 

[365]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

Ill stick with MJ on this one.

Focus, and focus in light of no results. Staying the course is easy when you have repetitive reassurance from the market, staying the course with nothing to show for it other than your own passion and intuition is more challenging.

I find it hard to make it through the "dip". Some ventures fail and you have little show. People around you see how hard you work and how little comes out of it..

Also: the balance between long term gains and short term cashflow. Some things are needed urgently and will collide with what you have to do (or think you have to do) for long term success.

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

To find out where exactly I can apply my strengths and my passion, to find and connect with the right people and then to execute, stay focused and keep going until it happens.

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

Good question. Too little self-confidence, too occupied with my "inner circle" (comparing yourself to an inner set of judges, like old college friends, your parents, ...).

Well when I hit the financially free mile stone, I will take a few months off and then begin another business and also begin investing in real estate.

Thats the way:fastlane:

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

Wow, see what a little title change can do for a thread?

 

[Kinsey6287]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

1. I think my biggest mental struggle has been caring too much about what other people think. I come up with some really great ideas, and then never consult in the right people. I talk to my wife usually about the ideas, but she does not have the same mindset as me. So all she sees are dollars being spent without realizing the potential income. I also work a full time job during the day and don't ask anyone's opinions there because sometimes I am afraid they may laugh at me or my ideas. Man,.... kinda hurts when I put it out there like that. lol

2. I consider myself to be very successful in my current job. But not as a business owner. I have been awarded a lot of promotions much faster than my peers due to hard work and professionalism. Professionalism has always been a very large pet peeve of mine and I believe anyone can always strive to make themselves more professional. My seniors recognized this and always gave me great evaluations and I recieved promotion after promotion in almost record time.

3. I think that as far as a business man would go, I need to get out of the military in order to really become a successful busness man. Being in the military creates so much more obstacles and stress it makes running a business while deployed virtually impossible. Also, I need to break out of my shell and start making phone calls to get clients.

4. The biggest pain factor in my life thus far has been dealing with my brother and watching his failures. Growing up I watched him get hooked to various drugs and vouched to never end up like that. When I first started my Marine Corps career I was sending him 50% of my paycheck every month. I eventually cut him off and haven't talked to him since. I do know through my parents that he is now married, with two children, with no job and still hokked on various drugs. They live with his wife's mother in West Virginia and have no health care for the children. Kinda sad. I still fear the day he is going to call me asking for more help. I probably won't be able to say no, but I refuse to put my family in a bad spot again trying to take care of his also.

Well,...lol Thats about it I guess.

 

[mtnman]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

Focus. Direction. Finding myself.

2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

I'm rich bitch! haha

Financially or at life? Financially, not yet, but my goals always move up.

Otherwise, absolutely. I became successful from struggle, an openness to learning, and experience. Plus the right kind of guidance, like this place.

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

Hustle. More hunger.

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

Childhood parent situation maybe. Health problems.

 

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[365]

Re: Your bigest mental struggle?

Wow, see what a little title change can do for a thread?

What has it been before?

 

[EastWind]

To wrap my mind around it

 

[Reefbreak]

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

Currently, getting focused on what to do next after losing a "slow lane" job. My educational, business, and military background has afforded me some decent skill sets, but in these "left-brained" pursuits, there has been ample structure and plenty of organization. I like this site, along with many of the books I've been reading, that seem to focus on being more inventive, big-picture thinking, following passions, etc.... which is all, to me, a bit more right brained oriented. At the end of the day, it is just a brand new way of looking at things, and it is a real challenge.

2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

Well, somewhat successful in that I live in a great location that really caters to my interest in health and wellness. Despite having a "job" for many years, it allowed me to save and invest so that I am not currently forced immediately back into a horrible job market, and can consider other options. Hard work, the willingness to take a few chances, and good family/friends support have gotten me to this point.

But also, not successful, since I have not found the next "thing" for me...

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

More networking, more volunteer work, and generally, just coming into contact with more people. I think I have the organizational, analytical, and business skills to make "something" really work. Perhaps I am too analytical and shoot things down too easily, but that is how I am wired. Probably finding the right "idea" person who needs help getting focused and organized... and who has an idea that fits well with one of my passions... would likely be a good situation for me.

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

I've been pretty lucky here...nothing significant. I count my blessings in this category nearly everyday.

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

Everyone, thank you so much for your responses, I would definitely appreciate more!

It seems to me that the majority of the responses are based around focus, time, health, and relationships...

Could it be that none of us are really hear for the money? Could it be that we are now focused all on wealth? Is that the true meaning of success?

So many people focus on money, money, money. I know I have and part of the reason I am probing here is to figure out my own thoughts.

Obviously money is just a symbol of value. Do you think we've finally evolved into chasing the value of time, health, and relationships? Most of us are putting in the best years of our lives chasing dollars and cents, but in 50 years, we could have achieved everything but would give it all up to be healthy and young again... or to be in a certain relationship with someone again...

Could it be that the fastlane is about increasing value and not just making money quickly?

P.S.

For those who are concerned about FOCUS, what would that focus do for you? What exactly do you mean? ADD? Zoning out? Procrastinating?

 

[djs13]

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

I think my biggest mental struggle is overcoming hurdles. I have many viable business ideas, but I need to be more confident in myself. When no one else is doing what I want to do, I tell myself it must not be worthwhile. And then when everyone else is doing it, I believe the market is so saturated I could never succeed.

It's so easy to doubt yourself or your business model because in business there are so many set-backs. But I'm trying to remember that guys like Richard Branson didn't even intend to be fastlane (he originally wanted to be a writer), he just found the fastlane journey. So maybe if you take a leap and it doesn't go the right way, an entrepreneur can still be on their fastlane journey.


2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

I believe in some ways I am successful because I ran for political office in 2009 and I also just bought a house. I achieved these things because I didn't listen to the people who said an eighteen year old can't run for Councilman or own a piece of property - because now I've done both.

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

As far as business goes, I think I'm missing some key things like start-up capital and my age doesn't help the industry I'm interested in joining. But as far as I'm concerned a good entrepreneur can overcome these things.

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

Still being a student (and getting good grades) while trying to pursue big things in business and politics.
​

 

[AroundTheWorld]

1. What has been your biggest mental struggle? (current or past)

Pushing through fear.

2. If you see yourself as "successful" right now, in a sentence, what made you successful?

Being persistent.

3. If you don't see yourself as "successful" right now, what do you think it is that will make you successful? What are you missing?

More Hours in the day.

Okay, I know. Not realistic.

Organization. Time Management. Delegate, delegate, delegate

4. What has been the biggest pain factor in your life? (current or past)

Inability to live in the moment.


Side note: I find it really interesting that everyone answered both number 2 and number 3. Our views of ourselves are on a continuum? Successful in one area and not in another....

or.... Our lives are not in absolutes.... we can view ourselves as both successful and unsuccessful

or.... we view ourselves as successful but pushing for more

or... or we view ourselves as successful but there is always room for improvement...

interesting :coffee:

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Side note: I find it really interesting that everyone answered both number 2 and number 3. Our views of ourselves are on a continuum? Successful in one area and not in another....

or.... Our lives are not in absolutes.... we can view ourselves as both successful and unsuccessful

or.... we view ourselves as successful but pushing for more

or... or we view ourselves as successful but there is always room for improvement...

interesting :coffee:

I think it's the 1st of the 3 for me, but I strive to achieve 3rd one because I want to be successful in all life areas, not just business..

Speed+

 

[Gymjunkie]

Everyone, thank you so much for your responses, I would definitely appreciate more!

It seems to me that the majority of the responses are based around focus, time, health, and relationships...

Could it be that none of us are really hear for the money? Could it be that we are now focused all on wealth? Is that the true meaning of success?

So many people focus on money, money, money. I know I have and part of the reason I am probing here is to figure out my own thoughts.

Obviously money is just a symbol of value. Do you think we've finally evolved into chasing the value of time, health, and relationships? Most of us are putting in the best years of our lives chasing dollars and cents, but in 50 years, we could have achieved everything but would give it all up to be healthy and young again... or to be in a certain relationship with someone again...

Could it be that the fastlane is about increasing value and not just making money quickly?

P.S.

For those who are concerned about FOCUS, what would that focus do for you? What exactly do you mean? ADD? Zoning out? Procrastinating?

I think most of us here are for more than just money.. self-improvement (business is ultimate challenge and helps to improve oneself), self-realization, helping people, earning money is on the list of course, but not at the top.

Focus is being concentrated on most important things and ignoring small stuff. It's reducing procrastinations and distractions as much as possible, it's chasing the vision you have and doing things that will eventually get you there! :smxF: