You have 600K in candies, what would you do?

[Vigilante]

If this guy doesn't have the consideration to login and answer these questions, I'm going to gouge my eyes out with a hot lead pipe.

Please post pics

 

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[Vigilante]

Might be 600k pesos of candy. Maybe 600k calories. Maybe 1 package.

I'd probably eat them.

 

[Formless]

Burn them in protest of consumerist culture and get Vice to write an inspirational article about your crusade against 'the 1% profiteering off of poisoning the youth (by using false 'healthy candy' marketing.)'

Gain hype and buzz about your bold move, write a blog (and use affiliate marketing to sell recommended products that make life easier), start a TV show and write a book on how to protect yourself from corporate marketing mind control techniques. Give speeches at schools demonizing capitalism and tell them to do what they love.

Then retire.



Oh, and remember me when you get rich?

 

[GuestUser113]

Burn them in protest of consumerist culture and get Vice to write an inspirational article about your crusade against 'the 1% profiteering off of poisoning the youth (by using false 'healthy candy' marketing.)'

Gain hype and buzz about your bold move, write a blog (and use affiliate marketing to sell recommended products that make life easier), start a TV show and write a book on how to protect yourself from corporate marketing mind control techniques. Give speeches at schools demonizing capitalism and tell them to do what they love.

Then retire.



Oh, and remember me when you get rich?

you forgot "What Color Ferrari Should I Buy? (I Have Twenty Bucks)?"

 

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[Mattie]

 

[Vigilante]

It's okay if you lose money on this deal as long as you sell in big volumes.

 

[Vigilante]

Try to trade it for 1000 chickens. Then… You will have passive reoccurring revenue as long as you can find somebody to buy the eggs. Oh and somebody to collect the eggs for free. And somebody to feed the chickens. On second thought… Forget about the chickens.

Donate the candy to one of those summer camps that takes fat kids and makes them skinny.

 

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[jon.a]

Try to trade it for 1000 chickens. Then… You will have passive reoccurring revenue as long as you can find somebody to buy the eggs. Oh and somebody to collect the eggs for free. And somebody to feed the chickens. On second thought… Forget about the chickens.

It must be a Sunday afternoon.

 

[Formless]

Donate the candy to one of those summer camps that takes fat kids and makes them skinny.

No mercy.

 

[jon.a]

The OP is going to find out what happens to unattended threads.

 

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[GuestUser113]

Donate the candy to one of those summer camps that takes fat kids and makes them skinny.

 

[Joe Cassandra]

Ok, you got me, I'm the OP.

Kids aren't buying my shitty candy, I ended up creating a slowlane job giving tours to kids named Mike TV, trying to get back on the fastlane. Sorry to MJ.

Yes , the Joker infringed on my suit, there's a patent on this swag, suing now.

 

[z6Evolved]

Are the candies in question vaguely tablet shaped? If so, unwrap them all, put them in bottles and sell them as a magical african fruit extract guaranteed* to help you lose weight. You'll make millions.





*if purchased and not used, while accompanied by diet, exercise, liposuction and/or lap band surgery.

 

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[sle3pyguii]

600K in candies?

If I bought 600K worth of candy, I'd give whatever money I have left to a financial planner because, lets be real, you probably suck with money if you spent 600K on random candy.

If I had 600K pieces/packages of candy, I'd save them for halloween. THINK OF THE ONES OF DOLLARS YOU WOULD SAVE ON CANDY!

 

[Kaizen]

"How many jellybeans in the jar?"

"Six hundred thousand!"

"You win!"

 

[Vigilante]

I have a dilemma of my own. Sorry to hijack your thread, but

I have a truckload of cool whip being delivered on Tuesday to my house, and I have no idea what I am going to do with it.

I don't want to lose money on it.

I think it is around 57,000 tubs of cool whip. Of course they will be palletized, but all I have is a standard freezer, and then one of those little dorm sized refrigerator/freezer combos.

Plus, I do not have a dock door (as I mentioned, the delivery will be at my house) and I forgot to mention to the shipping company that they needed to use a lift truck. Plus, a lift truck generally costs a few hundred bucks more than a standard semi truck, and quite frankly I think I am already going to lose my a$$ on this shipment.

I thought about putting one of those little kool-aid type stands out by the road (I know, right?) but I live in kind of a remote area. We only get about 15 cars that pass our driveway per day, and that's not really going to help me even if I offer like a 3-for-the-price-of-1 type discount.

Our county fair isn't for another month, and by then the stuff will be spoiled.

In the old days, they would cut ice blocks from the lakes in the winter, and then bury them in saw dust. The result would be a temperature in a cellar somewhere between refrigeration and freezing. However, I did not have enough advance knowledge of the incoming shipment in time to cut the ice blocks.

I looked into BUYING ice blocks, but the financials present the same dilemma as the life gate. Don't want to throw good money after bad.

Aside from the obvious (tub full of cool whip, which we will do regardless...) does anyone have any ideas?

 

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[MisterBHZ]

Damn. I thought this thread was going to be a big help.

Geez, now what am I supposed to do with the 98,987 left socks that I just ordered?

 

[GuestUser113]

I have a dilemma of my own. Sorry to hijack your thread, but

I have a truckload of cool whip being delivered on Tuesday to my house, and I have no idea what I am going to do with it.

I don't want to lose money on it.

I think it is around 57,000 tubs of cool whip. Of course they will be palletized, but all I have is a standard freezer, and then one of those little dorm sized refrigerator/freezer combos.

Plus, I do not have a dock door (as I mentioned, the delivery will be at my house) and I forgot to mention to the shipping company that they needed to use a lift truck. Plus, a lift truck generally costs a few hundred bucks more than a standard semi truck, and quite frankly I think I am already going to lose my a$$ on this shipment.

I thought about putting one of those little kool-aid type stands out by the road (I know, right?) but I live in kind of a remote area. We only get about 15 cars that pass our driveway per day, and that's not really going to help me even if I offer like a 3-for-the-price-of-1 type discount.

Our county fair isn't for another month, and by then the stuff will be spoiled.

In the old days, they would cut ice blocks from the lakes in the winter, and then bury them in saw dust. The result would be a temperature in a cellar somewhere between refrigeration and freezing. However, I did not have enough advance knowledge of the incoming shipment in time to cut the ice blocks.

I looked into BUYING ice blocks, but the financials present the same dilemma as the life gate. Don't want to throw good money after bad.

Aside from the obvious (tub full of cool whip, which we will do regardless...) does anyone have any ideas?

You are up shit creek without a paddle.

 

[DaRK9]

 

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[MisterBHZ]

I have a dilemma of my own. Sorry to hijack your thread, but

I have a truckload of cool whip being delivered on Tuesday to my house, and I have no idea what I am going to do with it.

I don't want to lose money on it.

I think it is around 57,000 tubs of cool whip. Of course they will be palletized, but all I have is a standard freezer, and then one of those little dorm sized refrigerator/freezer combos.

Plus, I do not have a dock door (as I mentioned, the delivery will be at my house) and I forgot to mention to the shipping company that they needed to use a lift truck. Plus, a lift truck generally costs a few hundred bucks more than a standard semi truck, and quite frankly I think I am already going to lose my a$$ on this shipment.

I thought about putting one of those little kool-aid type stands out by the road (I know, right?) but I live in kind of a remote area. We only get about 15 cars that pass our driveway per day, and that's not really going to help me even if I offer like a 3-for-the-price-of-1 type discount.

Our county fair isn't for another month, and by then the stuff will be spoiled.

In the old days, they would cut ice blocks from the lakes in the winter, and then bury them in saw dust. The result would be a temperature in a cellar somewhere between refrigeration and freezing. However, I did not have enough advance knowledge of the incoming shipment in time to cut the ice blocks.

I looked into BUYING ice blocks, but the financials present the same dilemma as the life gate. Don't want to throw good money after bad.

Aside from the obvious (tub full of cool whip, which we will do regardless...) does anyone have any ideas?

Here's what you do. Stuff as much cool whip as you can into the refrigerators that you have. I have a gut feeling that your cute little pint sized college fridge is going to do just fine. I'm guessing it can hold say 5,000, eh?

Ship the rest to me to Memphis via FedEx Ground. I've got some strippers and a few escorts that can do wonders with some cool whip, ya know. Problem is, that cool whip is going to be traveling in 130 degree trucks for about 4 days but I think it'll be fine, yeah?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I'm starting the fire for my lead pipe.

 

[Kaizen]

If it hurts too much Vigilante has some Cool Whip for your eyes.

 

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[Vigilante]

If it hurts too much Vigilante has some Cool Whip for your eyes.

Post pics

 

[FionaS]

You are up Cool Whip creek without a paddle.

Fixed that for you.

 

[GuestUser113]

Fixed that for you.

How bout Cool Hhwip? lol


family guy reference.

 

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[z6Evolved]

I've had a few more ideas of how we can monetize the large sum of candy the forum has come into possession of (I assume he came to us because he wants us to take the candy off his hands, and since he hasn't said otherwise, I'm sticking with that.)

1) We can grind it up and sell it as concrete filler to contractors working on a budget.
2) We can melt it down and sell it to the military as a "Green" earth-friendly napalm replacement.
3) We can sell it as naturally biodegradable artificial reef material.
4) If one of us is willing to eat nothing but italian mystery candy for a month and lose some weight, we can get Dr. Oz to shill it as the newest fad diet supplement.
5) We position it as a commodity on an up-and-coming market and attempt to leverage it to purchase actual, valuable goods.
6) We throw a party and eat the candy, assuming it's not really nasty. $5 a head, all you can eat.

Naturally I'm expecting a 5% cut of proceeds since I came up with the ideas. Feel free to submit other ideas as well, there's no limit to how rich we are all going to get off this stuff.

 

[Deleted21704]

5) We position it as a commodity on an up-and-coming market and attempt to leverage it to purchase actual, valuable goods.

YES. Collateral. We can LBO Yo, i.e., an actual, valuable good.

Or the potato salad folks...whichever one is more actual and valuable.

Or CYNK.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

This thread makes my head hurt. Kind of like the kids show "Uncle Grandpa".

 

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[Tommy92l]

 

[Silverhawk851]

Update: OP has been eating candy for lunch and cannot reply due to a stomach ache...