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Where to draw the line?

Anything related to matters of the mind

Kung Fu Steve

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I am a firm believer that you can do anything you want to.

Some of success literature says "be realistic" ... at what point do you draw the line? What is realistic and what isn't?

If I say I want to be an astronaut, why the hell can't I?

At what point do you say "that is too ridiculous, pick a different goal!" ??

Where do you think it is appropriate to draw the line? If there is a line?

My opinion? There is no line... but I'm an unreasonable person! :smx4:
 
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w4rl0rdx

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I think the line is wherever you draw it. Where you decide somthing is too hard and give up thats the line. Sadly alot of people give up too early.

I found a really awesome video on this very subject on youtube and im trying to post a thread in this mindset and motivation section but the imbed videos not working!! Maybe I don't have enough posts yet? what is the problem?? anyways stay tuned it mentions you in it possibly. ;)
 

Kung Fu Steve

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Ok, let me give some examples then since I'm not quite getting the response I was hoping:


What about goals like...

50 year old guy wants to be an astronaut (without a physics degree)

70 year old woman wants to dance on broadway (with no previous dance experience)

90 year old wants to be able to do olympic level gymnastics (with no experience)

Obviously there are some limitations that come with age (... see there I go again saying that there are limitations), but what the hell is really stopping them?

So then how about a 19 year old who wants to be a multi-millionaire by age 20 without any experience in business or investing? We are all very supportive so we tell people "you can do what you want" because others have done it, but at what point do you shift from saying "let's do it!" to "Holy crap dude, that's your goal huh?"
 

Runum

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I guess I would have to say, "Who am I to tell anyone that they can't do something?" It's not likely but it has been done. Probably the same odds as winning the lottery.

Now, to me, here is where adults have to distinguish between what sounds cool and what they REALLY want.

I like the idea of building a Shelby Cobra replica. However, I have built a lot of cars and I know what kind of toll it takes physically. I don't like the idea of beating myself up or spending long nights in the shop. So, while the idea sounds good, it's not REALLY what I want.
 
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AroundTheWorld

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Are you talking about what you say to other people or what you say to yourself?
 

andviv

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The limiting factor is time. Would that person have the time to dedicate to reach the level they need?

I'd love to be streamely fit and healthy. But I don't dedicate the amount of time it takes daily to reach the level I'd like. I prefer to spend the time with the family.

So I guess one of the factors about that line is: Is there enough will to make it happen?

For example, 50 yr old wants to be astronaut. Well, maybe he won't make it with NASA, but he could pursue it with a private company, as these days it is kinda available. No?
 
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Forza

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I don't think you need to draw the line. Just don't care whether you achieve it, pretend/feel that you've already achieved your goal, then move in the direction of your goal. If there are natural limitations such as old age, it will stop you, but you'll probably get somewhere.
 

FDJustin

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May 11th, 2009 I posted this on facebook in response to a level of growing frustration from pressure, internal and external to go with that exact advice.

"Screw realistic goals. Realism is just to keep you pinned in a small bubble."

I meant it then. I still believe it. For me it's slow going to live my words, there's a lot of bad habits, baggage, and unproductive personality traits I'm slowly working through. Most of which I don't even recognize right away, I only come to realize them somehow.
It's a lot like a meditation instructor telling you to focus on your breathing. Since breathing is such such a natural part of what we do, we don't recognize it until something happens to point it out. Then it's controllable, but difficult to change for more than a few minutes.

Hmm... That's kind of off topic. I'll leave it there in case someone finds it useful though.

That being said, I don't think it's unreasonable for your example people to strive for those things. It may not be realistic with their given situations, they may never succeed, and they may even die depending on their health. But what makes it unrealistic? If they can identify each aspect that's holding them back, and strive to remove, bipass, or substitute each problem their goal becomes much more reasonable. They may succeed. If not, they may be able to get to a point down the path they never would have reached if they stayed within reason.

My lines are similar to w4rl0rdx and andviv... The line is where I'm not willing to headbutt the boulder anymore.
 

Fermovian

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I think you should set goals that make you happy by engaging in the process to achieve them, and that do not make your life's happiness dependent on the result. Relying on a particular moment to make you happy is very dangerous.
I know this from experience.
 
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A

Anon3587x

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The answer to this question is different depending on each person with each new idea.
There is no universal formula for this.
All in my opinion at least.

My quote of the week (ironically).

Do more, Talk less


There is no such thing as impossible, there are broken dreams from people giving up when adversity gets in there way.
 

mkzhang

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Well I think, and this is from watching too many martial arts movies, is you should know yourself the best.

Being ignorant and say no one can limit you is bull.

No one can limit you, except yourself, that you should know perfectly well.

Trying to become world champ in martial arts at 90 is near impossible, unless you have the physical abilities of a 20 year old. You should know your body, you should be very open minded and recognize that though you might have the skills and knowledge, but your body can no longer handle it.

A part of success (to me I think) is accepting defeat, this does not mean giving up hope or become a bum. Look at Napoleon and Hitler, they would of been still around if they drew the line a little bit before complete world domination :p But they refuse to stop until they achieved it all and they lost everything.

You don't need to be an astronaut to be happy (if you wanted to be one at 90), maybe devoting so much to learning about it, speaking with real astronaut, and getting a chance to sit in the space shuttle would make you just as happy.

Maybe educating your grand kids or and watch them become astronauts would make you happy (not sure how that would work if you were 90).

You must accept defeat some times and find peace within yourself. If youre 90 and thinks you will become an astronaut or die trying, you need to re-evaluate yourself mentally :p That should not be your mentality at 90 lol
 

faq88

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I was watching the movie Rudy last night and there was a part that might fit here. Rudy made the comment to the Notre Dame coach that he wasn't meant to be a starting football player for the team. That wasn't what god made him for. That didn't mean he couldn't be on the team and still make a huge difference. Is there a line??? Yes this is based on physical ability. Can anybody run a marathon, yes with hard work. Can anybody run a marthon under 3 hours no that takes god give skill. The point is, if you work hard you can do most anything. SOmetime though god gives you a special ability to be better than anybody else. You have to find what that ability is. For Rudy it was the ability to never give up and be self-motivating. For marathon runners its not being happy with sub 3 hours and trying to do even better. If your looking to be a millionaire you can do it, but what is your special ability to help you get there. Best of luck.
 
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NoMoneyDown

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Outside of any meta-physical barriers, NOTHING should prohibit you from doing anything.
 

andviv

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You don't need to be an astronaut to be happy (if you wanted to be one at 90), maybe devoting so much to learning about it, speaking with real astronaut, and getting a chance to sit in the space shuttle would make you just as happy.

First, you can be happy regardless, but....

Why short-change yourself? Selling yourself short? why? If your dream is to travel outside this world, why not do it? Yeah, maybe you won't be the captain/commander of the space shuttle, but you still could be a passenger and make it outside this world, and fulfill your dream.

[FONT=microstile, arial]http://my.execpc.com/~culp/space/history.html
[/FONT]
[FONT=microstile, arial]
At age 77, Glenn became the oldest person ever to go into space. [/FONT]
Well, given what we are seeing today, a few 90 year old could do the same...

Also, in a somewhat related type of feat...

CBBC Newsround | UK | 'Oldest' man sets skydive record

And another one...
from this site: Amazingpara
Who was the Oldest Jumper ?
CLEVELAND (AP) -- A 92-year-old man with artificial knees made it into the record books by becoming the oldest person ever to jump out of an airplane without holding on to anyone else. "What a thrill!" Herb Tanner said seconds after he touched down Friday. "That was beautiful. Just gorgeous. I'd love to do that again, but not today." Tanner, of the Cleveland suburb of Mayfield Heights, looked to the Guinness Book of World Records to see what kind of mark he could make in parachuting. Jumping while attached to another parachutist was out. A 99-year-old woman already had done it, and the record for males was held by a 95-year-old Englishman. But Tanner could still break a record if he jumped solo. The record had been held by the late Edwin C. Townsend, who was 89 when he jumped in Louisiana in 1986. After receiving basic jump instruction and making 10 computer jumps using a virtual reality simulator, Tanner was ready. The 105-pound Tanner -- fake knees, hearing aid and all -- climbed into a jump suit and leaped from a plane at 3,500 feet. A lifelong pilot, Tanner has flown for 63 years but never parachuted. "I always wanted to parachute, but my wife wouldn't let me," he said. "She said she would leave me if I jumped. She died two years ago." Note: the oldest Tandem Jumper was 100 years old, October 1999(Skydiving magazine)
Woman, 90, skydives to prove age is just a number (Feb., 2, 2002)
WILSON -- Marni Evans literally "dropped in" for her 90th birthday party Saturday afternoon, jumping from an airplane cruising over her farm at 12,000 feet. She said she wanted to show her friends that age is just a state of mind, even when you're nearing the century mark. http://www.dropzone.com/news/woman90skydivestoproveag.shtml
Four-Year-Old Skydives!
In a leap into the record books, four-year-old Toni Stadler became the youngest person to skydive! The tandem parachute jump took place at the Cape Parachute Club, 25 miles north of Cape Town, South Africa, on Oct. 27, just five days before Toni's fifth birthday. The youngster was strapped to jumpmaster Paul Lutge's chest as they leaped out of their single-engine plane 10,000 feet above the earth, freefalling for half a minute before opening the parachute.
Toni's mom said, "We have been skydiving for four years and recently Toni started asking if he could jump too,". "We did not make him do it. He made us let him."

and that only took me 2 minutes to google and find this stuff... imagine what we haven't heard of yet?

Maybe educating your grand kids or and watch them become astronauts would make you happy (not sure how that would work if you were 90).
Well, again, simply watching your grand kids playing outside should make you happy... happiness has nothing to do with it, I believe...

You must accept defeat some times and find peace within yourself. If youre 90 and thinks you will become an astronaut or die trying, you need to re-evaluate yourself mentally :p That should not be your mentality at 90 lol
Why do I need to re-evaluate myself if I decide that it is worth trying hard, even if I could get killed while trying? We are all gonna die, what's so bad about dying while pursuing a dream? Isn't that better than simply dying in a hospital because of a cold?

I guess I am a just another adrenaline junkie... ;)
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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That is exactly what I was looking for, Thank you Andres. Rep+ For that one!



Sunday, May 25, 2008
service_ap_36.gif

KATMANDU, Nepal — A 76-year-old Nepalese man reached the summit of Mount Everest on Sunday to become the oldest person to climb the world's highest mountain, mountaineering officials said.

So in reality... are there any limitations? (This is actually a question for everyone by the way!) Very interested to hear everyone's perspective on this one.

While I am telling people "you can have what you want to have, and you can be what you want to be" I want to cover all angles :smx9: Thanks all!
 

MJ DeMarco

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Like everything in life, I think it all boils down to probabilities and mathematics. If I want to be an astronaut, my ability to achieve that dream depends on my plan to get there. If I go the NASA route, my dreams will rely on luck (long probabilities: go to school, get hired, hope NASA continues to receive funding, etc.) or I can go the business tycoon route (Richard Branson) and say that I'm going to be so rich that I can A) Either fund my own space company or B) Afford to go into space with a private company. Both are "plans" to get into space and each have their implicit probabilities.

It's safe to say that in 10 years I will be able to go into space with a private company, as long as I can afford the ticket (Should be six-figures). So I'd say, any limitation is predicated on the plan itself and the probabilities that come with it.
 

LagunaLauren

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I am a firm believer that you can do anything you want to.
My opinion? There is no line... but I'm an unreasonable person! :smx4:

I'm an unreasonable person, too! Unreasonable people are capable of achieving unbelievable things.
 
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PaulRobert

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I am a firm believer that you can do anything you want to.

Some of success literature says "be realistic" ... at what point do you draw the line? What is realistic and what isn't?

If I say I want to be an astronaut, why the hell can't I?

At what point do you say "that is too ridiculous, pick a different goal!" ??

Where do you think it is appropriate to draw the line? If there is a line?

Your goals and dreams are a choice and you are the sole person that decides where the line ends. It could be $1 million, it could be $10 million it could be a $100 million! Maybe your goal is to own a Bugatti or maybe a 200ft yacht? Who can tell you how to live your life other than yourself? No one. As I am finishing up high school, I am beginning to realize this new freedom that I am entering. I can go any direction that I want to. I was talking with my friend about our future goals, and it came to point about how much money we can make. He is planning on becoming a doctor and I wish him the best. He said that he will be able to earn around 6 figures as a doctor, and then I realized something. My ventures can have an unlimited amount of income, it all depends on what I choose to do to add value to others. I draw the line whether I want to stay small or grow big.

But, what about the choices and consequences (good and bad) that are following you from the decisions you made? Can and do they affect your future pursuits? Of course. That is why making choices are simple and complicated in life and can have a lasting effect on your present and future situation.

Hope that answers some more of your question. ;)
 

Bobo

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I think it is important when setting goals to be ambitious with a dose of objectivity.

You see silver medalists in tears because they did not win gold and they deem themselves to have failed because they broke the previous record of accomplishment in an event for all of human history by 5/100ths of a second on the same day that someone else broke it by 6/100ths of a second.

What I mean is that shooting for the sun is fine but if you only reach the moon you have to allow yourself to be happy. I see too many people who are doing well and are miserable because their bar for good enough is so unrealistic that it is not attainable. What should be cause for celebration becomes a source of insecurity and doubt.

..So I say go for it, go nuts, give it all you have but if the outcome doesn't meet the expectation then be sure to understand that the journey itself has merit.

...and some of those silver medalists come back and win gold rather than giving up.
 

MJ DeMarco

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PaulRobert

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What lesson can we take from that movie?

NEVER attach 100,000 balloons to your roof. :tiphat:

Ok, ok, in all seriousness, the lesson learned is something that my mother has told me from my childhood---
The Sky Is The Limit.


444sky(1).jpg
 

FDJustin

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I think it is important when setting goals to be ambitious with a dose of objectivity.

You see silver medalists in tears because they did not win gold and they deem themselves to have failed because they broke the previous record of accomplishment in an event for all of human history by 5/100ths of a second on the same day that someone else broke it by 6/100ths of a second.

What I mean is that shooting for the sun is fine but if you only reach the moon you have to allow yourself to be happy. I see too many people who are doing well and are miserable because their bar for good enough is so unrealistic that it is not attainable. What should be cause for celebration becomes a source of insecurity and doubt.

..So I say go for it, go nuts, give it all you have but if the outcome doesn't meet the expectation then be sure to understand that the journey itself has merit.

...and some of those silver medalists come back and win gold rather than giving up.

I wonder how many of those athletes are just caught up in the moment of their disappointment, and realize later that they are happy with it after all? Anyone can get caught up in a moment without it necessarily reflecting their entire outlook.

I think there's a difference between being unsatisfied with what you achieve, and being unhappy with what you achieve. Being unsatisfied with silver means always looking to break your limits and keep reaching for gold.
Being unhappy with silver means you've wasted your time. Chances are you didn't appreciate the ride, and there was literally no point, since without your goal there was no payoff at all.

I know that silver is note worthy. Most people know it. But if you don't feel it, then your achievements will be "just something I did" to you. Like a party on the week-end ten years ago, when you were partying every week.
 

Icy

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NEVER attach 100,000 balloons to your roof. :tiphat:

Ok, ok, in all seriousness, the lesson learned is something that my mother has told me from my childhood---
The Sky Is The Limit.

You know what's funny about that "lesson"? We've been to the moon. So much for "limit". :smug2:
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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Every personal development coach says it in one form or another. There are only two things you need to lead a successful life.

1. The science of achievement

Since achieving something is literally a step by step process, you just must figure out how to break down the process and do the same steps, you'll get the same results! This seems to me to be the act of "becoming a millionaire" "getting in great shape" and "learning as much as you can"

2. The ART OF FULFILLMENT

Being happy with what you do have. Learn to enjoy life, who you are, what you stand for, what you do, and how you do it. This part of life is before, during, and after that is happening. Instead of just dying after you have achieved a lot of things, why not enjoy it? Heck, why not enjoy it right now??

I really appreciate the feedback from everyone. If you have any more I would love to hear it!
 

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