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What do you lovely people do, When you're down and out?

Brewmacker

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Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:
  • Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
  • Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)
 

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Creed

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Sounds like you're nearing a F*ck This Event. You're getting to the point where you're going to have to choose between your own business and your job. What is the prospect of your own company generating revenue within a foreseeable period of time? Do you have savings that you can rely on for the coming X months? How bad do you want your business to work out, and how bad do you need your job?

What I see from your post is that your job is not going to get any less busy and that your own company will probably only take up more time. You're going to have to make a decision (not to add on any more pressure than you already feel on yourself...)
 

broswoodwork

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Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:
  • Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
  • Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)
It's f*cked up, isn't it? The powers that be will build multi-trillion dollar safety nets for people who don't get out of bed before noon, but people like you, the Motor of the World, are left clinging for life.

My problems are proportionately smaller than yours, but I think I feel you.

I've started taking a 1 hour vacation once per day to lock out all of the stuff piled on me. I don't know if it'll be particularly helpful for you, as you're definitely juggling more and bigger chainsaws, but maybe something along the same vein?
 
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Brewmacker

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Sounds like you're nearing a F*ck This Event. You're getting to the point where you're going to have to choose between your own business and your job. What is the prospect of your own company generating revenue within a foreseeable period of time? Do you have savings that you can rely on for the coming X months? How bad do you want your business to work out, and how bad do you need your job?

What I see from your post is that your job is not going to get any less busy and that your own company will probably only take up more time. You're going to have to make a decision (not to add on any more pressure than you already feel on yourself...)
Thanks for your input Creed. The "F*ck This Events" have happened too many times already this year.

This is not one of them. Savings are zero as most of my income funds my existing investments, so quitting my day job is not an option, just yet. My current investments are side walker investments that will eventually pay back in 30 years (property). I would LOVE to quit my job and go work at burger king with zero stress, but without selling up, my hands are tied.

I want my business to succeed, as I said this is my priority. I am just very difficult at this moment in time. Web development is tough, especially now that my focus is on privacy and data protection. This is a whole different level of programming than setting up a shop for example.

In retrospect, my question is how to deal with overload in the most efficient way? Do you push through or take the time to rest.
I am generally quite happy putting in a 80 hour working week but just not at the moment.
 
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It's f*cked up, isn't it? The powers that be will build multi-trillion dollar safety nets for people who don't get out of bed before noon, but people like you, the Motor of the World, are left clinging for life.

My problems are proportionately smaller than yours, but I think I feel you.

I've started taking a 1 hour vacation once per day to lock out all of the stuff piled on me. I don't know if it'll be particularly helpful for you, as you're definitely juggling more and bigger chainsaws, but maybe something along the same vein?
I have also started doing that too! Haha. Okay only 45 mins. After reading "why we sleep" i am taking 45 mins before bed without electronics. It is a really nice time of the day just to ponder and do some house chores. But it definitely helps.
 

Dan_Cardone

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I immerse myself in nature for a few hours. Walking, hiking, bike riding, kayaking. Anything!

I find it really helps clear my head and soothe my soul.
 

Yzn

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Hey I hope you figure out the stuff that are bothering you.

I just had a random question,
Why are you doing: " I am creating a online social network. #learningprogramming" side business
instead of: " I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery #prolevelskill" side business?

Learning a new skill can take tons of time and tons of patience to see anything fruitful, whilst on the other hand you have a skill that you already nurtured for years that most people don't have.

What I'm trying to say is the story of MJ from TFM, he was driving a limo but needed to learn programming to make a limo-booking website, but in your case, you already have the skill and you know what companies need, why not make a side business on that?

Sorry to hijack the point of the thread, but I just figured that could maybe relieve you some stress from starting on something from scratch when you have a much valuable skill at hand.
 
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Hey I hope you figure out the stuff that are bothering you.

I just had a random question,
Why are you doing: " I am creating a online social network. #learningprogramming" side business
instead of: " I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery #prolevelskill" side business?

Learning a new skill can take tons of time and tons of patience to see anything fruitful, whilst on the other hand you have a skill that you already nurtured for years that most people don't have.

What I'm trying to say is the story of MJ from TFM, he was driving a limo but needed to learn programming to make a limo-booking website, but in your case, you already have the skill and you know what companies need, why not make a side business on that?

Sorry to hijack the point of the thread, but I just figured that could maybe relieve you some stress from starting on something from scratch when you have a much valuable skill at hand.
Haha thanks for the input Yzn. You are absolutely right and this is my eventual long term goal.

I know industrial Product design and it takes time, resources and a lot of investment €€€ which I do not have.

My skills are honed towards leadership and not in the real detailed technical engineering aspects. I also work in a specialist field of engineering where the skills gained are not exactly transferable to the rest of the world. Unless developing market driven consumer products that can be sold world wide, I will be generating industry specific customized units. I hire and work with companies like this every day and I am yet to see a lambo parked outside any of the offices.
Customization does not interest me because it will never lead to an unscripted life. To much customer interfacing is required that cannot be done whilst hiking in Austria or surfing on a beach in Portugal. Understanding and interpreting the needs of customers is a job that I will never trust upon my employees, this is a skill in its own.

The reason for diversifying now is purely financial and an opening where I can give value has been identified. It costs only time to invest in e-learning and the eventual release of the product can generate income with close to zero investment. With the income from this project hopefully I will have enough money to set up a lean smart and cross functional engineering team and start making valuable products to sell on the market.

Learning to program is already impacting my engineering job in a positive way as it opens up a whole aspect engineering that has not been in my repertoire. I always signed of instrumentation and control packages a little bit blind, and now I can at least challenge contracts based on the complexity of the level of logic required.

To conclude, my skills are in specialized product design management. This is a transferable skill across many fields of engineering. In the end I will hire people to do the work I am doing now, but sometimes even a manager needs to get his hands dirty. Without gaining this knowledge I cannot lead effectively.
 

Creed

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Thanks for your input Creed. The "F*ck This Events" have happened too many times already this year.

This is not one of them. Savings are zero as most of my income funds my existing investments, so quitting my day job is not an option, just yet. My current investments are side walker investments that will eventually pay back in 30 years (property). I would LOVE to quit my job and go work at burger king with zero stress, but without selling up, my hands are tied.

I want my business to succeed, as I said this is my priority. I am just very difficult at this moment in time. Web development is tough, especially now that my focus is on privacy and data protection. This is a whole different level of programming than setting up a shop for example.

In retrospect, my question is how to deal with overload in the most efficient way? Do you push through or take the time to rest.
I am generally quite happy putting in a 80 hour working week but just not at the moment.
As you're describing it, pushing through will is not likely to end well. I'd suggest blocking out time to clear your mind. If you're not going to the gym already, I highly recommend it. It's been an anchor for me over the past year. Do something physical to get yourself out of your head. The gym does that for me, for you it might be something else (sports, hanging out with friends etc). Those activities usually give you the energy to continue what you're doing in your job and with your business.
 

BellaPippin

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A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life
I'll be the first sign up.

Being the topic of your business what it is, could it be you are just here to look for some validation to take a break? Feeling guilty?

IT'S OK TO TAKE A BREAK!

Is taking one or two weeks off your project to catch up on sleep gonna ruin everything? If you are knowledgeable in topics like mental health and burn out then you know well your body and brain are gonna say "that's enough" sooner or later.

You don't want to be so tired you're failing cognitively and then coding with a lot of errors only to have to fix them later. Get a few days even, how long do you think you need? Take a breather, it's not worth your health. You don't wanna be like "I made this app that helps support mental health issues and it only costed me my own mental health" lol
 
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As you're describing it, pushing through will is not likely to end well. I'd suggest blocking out time to clear your mind. If you're not going to the gym already, I highly recommend it. It's been an anchor for me over the past year. Do something physical to get yourself out of your head. The gym does that for me, for you it might be something else (sports, hanging out with friends etc). Those activities usually give you the energy to continue what you're doing in your job and with your business.
Thanks again. I sport 5 times a week, hang out with friends and have suitably hacked my life to free as much time to work as possible to invest in my project. On the whole I am a very happy chappie.

After a bit of self reflection I guess I'm just hitting a mental wall where there are two options, take a step back and jump over it. Or keep going and punch through it. Walls are made for punching on through, this applies also for sport or even just getting down to the gym. Sometimes we just don't want to do it, but we push through and never regret it.

I'm gonna punch through. If I regret it later I will let you know ;)
 

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I'll be the first sign up.

Being the topic of your business what it is, could it be you are just here to look for some validation to take a break? Feeling guilty?

IT'S OK TO TAKE A BREAK!

Is taking one or two weeks off your project to catch up on sleep gonna ruin everything? If you are knowledgeable in topics like mental health and burn out then you know well your body and brain are gonna say "that's enough" sooner or later.

You don't want to be so tired you're failing cognitively and then coding with a lot of errors only to have to fix them later. Get a few days even, how long do you think you need? Take a breather, it's not worth your health. You don't wanna be like "I made this app that helps support mental health issues and it only costed me my own mental health" lol
Hi Bella!
I will be sure to send you a link when the site is up and running. Would love some feedback from across the pond :)

I normally get so much positive energy from my project and I rush home every day to get stuck in. I really do not want to take a break and yes at the same time maybe I am looking for validation maybe that a taking a break is okay haha.

I stupidly added all the empty pages to my website and a google maps API so now it is really clear how much work that still needs to be done haha. Maybe by doing this it initiated the realization that after so long that I have only come 10% of the way.

I totally agree though, it would be nobelly ironic if I destroy my own mental health to save everyone elses haha. Thanks for your wise advice.
 

Creed

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Thanks again. I sport 5 times a week, hang out with friends and have suitably hacked my life to free as much time to work as possible to invest in my project. On the whole I am a very happy chappie.

After a bit of self reflection I guess I'm just hitting a mental wall where there are two options, take a step back and jump over it. Or keep going and punch through it. Walls are made for punching on through, this applies also for sport or even just getting down to the gym. Sometimes we just don't want to do it, but we push through and never regret it.

I'm gonna punch through. If I regret it later I will let you know ;)
Right on :bicep: Good to see you're chasing after something you believe in, sometimes seems rare in our country.
 

Primeperiwinkle

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I’ve missed your posts. I’m sorry you’re nearing burn out. It sounds like you’re putting out a LOT of energy.

I think you might just need some rest. You’re taking care of a great deal of people and I’m sure that responsibility weighs heavily on you. It’s quite possible that you DO need sleep and comfy clothes and just...quiet music for a day or two, to get your bearings back.

There are a couple things I do when my heart is weary or losing hope or I’m just kinda bottoming out.

First, I get out my journal and actually write out all my frustrations and complaints, my heartache. When I was first learning this technique I LOATHED it because I felt like journaling was stupid and pointless. Then I got challenged to write JUST my stream of consciousness for three whole pages. Literally, write ANYTHING that pops into your head but you have to keep writing for three pages.

When I started I would complain for a whole page about the writing challenge! I distinctly remember writing about how much I hated the sound the air conditioner was making once.

That sounds silly but it’s true.
Lol.. but then.. other stuff started just .. showing up in my writing. Little arguments, disappointments.. real hurts, real anger. Then I slowly but surely turned the exercise into an act of worship. I would thank God for the obstacles and the blessings.

I get really honest about why I’m feeling empty or broken or tired but then, because I’ve actually KEPT GOING and written it ALL down I know how to pray.

I need the comfort of space and time to pour out my heart. The blank page is nonjudgmental. You don’t have to weigh your words or judgments or feel embarrassed for petty grievances there. You can just explain and drop your burden on the page with ink.

After that, I make a decision to go find Beauty and spend time soaking it in. By that I mean beauty that touches my heart. The kind of beauty.. a beauty in the world which makes me wonder and stop talking- that speaks to me and makes me awestruck. I once spent an hour sketching a famous painting and I can’t draw at all but something in the painting of a stormy night and a boat trying to sail spoke to me. When we recognize beauty we reconnect with who we are.

This can be Nature or Art or Music or Literature.. but you want something that speaks to you of love and goodness.

Steven Pressfield explains Resistance in his book The War of Art.. and I think that’s what you’re up against every day. You’re in the process of creating something that will genuinely help other people. That’s brave and hard and so good. Don’t work yourself to death before you get a chance to finish. You just need to realize you’re human and need a little rest sometimes.

If you ever need more encouragement we’re here for you. Hugs. You’re doin good man. Proud of you.
 

Andy Black

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Go for a 45 minute stroll every evening. Relax and watch the world ease past.

Cut down those hours in work. You’re no good to them either if you burn out.

You likely already know that companies will keep filling up your in-tray until you push back. Your reward for working hard and delivering is to get an even bigger workload. So if you don’t have a conversation with them then they won’t know there’s a problem to solve.

Then consider how you can help someone this week, instead of learning and building stuff. Can you add value and get paid sooner rather than later? Can you leverage your current skillset and build side income streams (it’s the skillset that’s currently paying your bills right?).

With your skillset I wouldn’t be learning coding. I’d use my PM experience to get projects delivered. Maybe I’d offer that as a consulting service initially, then reinvest into getting a developer to build something simple to test your idea.
 

PapaGang

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Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:
  • Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
  • Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)

So when I owned an agency, I faced some of these problems myself. I was once rescuing a big project, and it didn't go well. But instead of losing my job, I lost the respect and future business relationship of my client. It's one thing to fail at your job, but it's extremely personal when you fail for a client and you have no one else to blame. It hurts.

I found that my clients were my boss, and a number of them sucked, and I wanted to work on my side hustles instead. But when things got busy I:

• Was kind to myself, first and foremost. I listed the things I was doing, and my time spent, so that I could show myself how hard I was working
• Would make a promise to myself to get back to the side project as soon as I was ready. And I
• Trusted myself
• But I put the side hustle on hold, knowing that I wasn't the kind of person to give up.

If I were you I would do the same. Put the side hustle on hold.

I'm in the same boat right now. I have a family member with cancer. I work a full-time job while taking care of my parents on the weekend (200 miles away) and I have a son in high school that I need to support as well as spend quality of time with him because he's going to be 18 in a couple of years and when that happens he is gone. Forever. I'm not getting this time back. Where does this leave my side project? Sitting on the shelf most of the time, I might only spend 10 hours on it a week. But it's my vision, it's my mission, it's too important to let it die. I will get back to it, but I found you need to prioritize relentlessly, so trust yourself to do the right thing and give yourself credit for taking this so far. You won't give up.

You are doing yourself no good by burning out. The worst possible thing for you to do in my opinion. You need to be okay with taking care of yourself and giving yourself some space and taking a break, knowing that you will come back stronger and more committed. Do yourself a huge favor. Take care of the shit you need to take care of, and rest. But this work situation might not let up until you burn out, and that's definitely not a good choice.

-OR-

Ditch the job, sell everything that is unnecessary in your life, work out a bare bones budget, take an easy 30 to 40 hour a week job, and put your side hustle in overdrive. Most people are too scared to get rid of fancy sh*t in order to make their dreams come true (not saying you are living fancy, I don't know you.)

How committed and "crazy" are you to see this thing through?
 
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I’ve missed your posts. I’m sorry you’re nearing burn out. It sounds like you’re putting out a LOT of energy.

I think you might just need some rest. You’re taking care of a great deal of people and I’m sure that responsibility weighs heavily on you. It’s quite possible that you DO need sleep and comfy clothes and just...quiet music for a day or two, to get your bearings back.

There are a couple things I do when my heart is weary or losing hope or I’m just kinda bottoming out.

First, I get out my journal and actually write out all my frustrations and complaints, my heartache. When I was first learning this technique I LOATHED it because I felt like journaling was stupid and pointless. Then I got challenged to write JUST my stream of consciousness for three whole pages. Literally, write ANYTHING that pops into your head but you have to keep writing for three pages.

When I started I would complain for a whole page about the writing challenge! I distinctly remember writing about how much I hated the sound the air conditioner was making once.

That sounds silly but it’s true.
Lol.. but then.. other stuff started just .. showing up in my writing. Little arguments, disappointments.. real hurts, real anger. Then I slowly but surely turned the exercise into an act of worship. I would thank God for the obstacles and the blessings.

I get really honest about why I’m feeling empty or broken or tired but then, because I’ve actually KEPT GOING and written it ALL down I know how to pray.

I need the comfort of space and time to pour out my heart. The blank page is nonjudgmental. You don’t have to weigh your words or judgments or feel embarrassed for petty grievances there. You can just explain and drop your burden on the page with ink.

After that, I make a decision to go find Beauty and spend time soaking it in. By that I mean beauty that touches my heart. The kind of beauty.. a beauty in the world which makes me wonder and stop talking- that speaks to me and makes me awestruck. I once spent an hour sketching a famous painting and I can’t draw at all but something in the painting of a stormy night and a boat trying to sail spoke to me. When we recognize beauty we reconnect with who we are.

This can be Nature or Art or Music or Literature.. but you want something that speaks to you of love and goodness.

Steven Pressfield explains Resistance in his book The War of Art.. and I think that’s what you’re up against every day. You’re in the process of creating something that will genuinely help other people. That’s brave and hard and so good. Don’t work yourself to death before you get a chance to finish. You just need to realize you’re human and need a little rest sometimes.

If you ever need more encouragement we’re here for you. Hugs. You’re doin good man. Proud of you.
Hi Primeperiwinkle, thank as always for your support and especially for the Hugs :) . I needed that.

Apologies, but I had no energy to respond to you last night. I did take your advice though and went to bed at 7pm :) Just put on a fictional novel on audible and chilled out in the dark until I fell asleep probably around 9 am.

Woke up for my morning workout at 5.30, got ready, got stretched and...no. Body just says "no B-boy, not today" :(

Conclusion, I think I am getting sick which never happens. I think the last time I caught a cold was 5/6 years ago.

For the next two or three days I will follow your advice. It is possible that I am holding too many ideas and information in my head and it is time to get it all down on paper in a structured manner. I am hitting a wall without a systematic plan to take it apart one brick at a time.

I am not unhappy or depressed, just feel physically and mentally weak and maybe a bit guilty that i cannot perform optimally.

This too shall pass ;)
 

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Hi Primeperiwinkle, thank as always for your support and especially for the Hugs :) . I needed that.

Apologies, but I had no energy to respond to you last night. I did take your advice though and went to bed at 7pm :) Just put on a fictional novel on audible and chilled out in the dark until I fell asleep probably around 9 am.

Woke up for my morning workout at 5.30, got ready, got stretched and...no. Body just says "no B-boy, not today" :(

Conclusion, I think I am getting sick which never happens. I think the last time I caught a cold was 5/6 years ago.

For the next two or three days I will follow your advice. It is possible that I am holding too many ideas and information in my head and it is time to get it all down on paper in a structured manner. I am hitting a wall without a systematic plan to take it apart one brick at a time.

I am not unhappy or depressed, just feel physically and mentally weak and maybe a bit guilty that i cannot perform optimally.

This too shall pass ;)
When I was a teen I’d take my pulse every morning before getting out of bed. My pulse rate would be high a day or so before I noticed any cold symptoms. Your body is telling you something.
 

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Go for a 45 minute stroll every evening. Relax and watch the world ease past.

Cut down those hours in work. You’re no good to them either if you burn out.

You likely already know that companies will keep filling up your in-tray until you push back. Your reward for working hard and delivering is to get an even bigger workload. So if you don’t have a conversation with them then they won’t know there’s a problem to solve.

Then consider how you can help someone this week, instead of learning and building stuff. Can you add value and get paid sooner rather than later? Can you leverage your current skillset and build side income streams (its the skillset that’s currently paying to your bills right?).

With your skillset I wouldn’t be learning coding. I’d use my PM experience to get projects delivered. Maybe I’d offer that as a consulting service initially, then reinvest into getting a developer to build something simple to test your idea.

Hey Andy,

Thanks for the feedback.

You are feeding me back a little of my own medicine there haha. You will see what I mean when I launch the website. I will post on the Insiders today and see if I can give some value based on my current skill set to help steer others entrepreneurs to further boost their productivity by minimize production costs and boosting profits by minimizing mistakes and controlling contractors during design initiation phases.

I had the plan to reduce my working hours during my appraisal at the end of the year, and being brought into this new sinking ship project it is maybe not going to help that goal in the long term.

I have to admit, this is my own fault, I offered my skills to help bring the project on track. The people I work with have been constantly complaining for years now about the crap quality coming from this project. One of my close colleagues has even had his second heart attack whilst working on this project, although we are of course not sure there is a direct relationship, but he does get physically tense when we bring this project up.

The fact is I do care about the success of my employer, as what we do does make a difference to the world. I saw that i could offer value to make this project a success and they snapped my offer up. Fact is the project is an absolute embarrassing mess, how they got this far astounds me.

Maybe I need to address this issue of working hours now. First I need to quickly read through "Never split the difference"and formulate a structured plan for this negotiation.

Weird thing is I know with half the hours my performance will double. The fact is, I am locked and clocked into 42.5 hours per week and more than half that time I am not effective because I simply do not have the brain capacity to give 100% 8 hours per day. Who does?

My original plan was Step 1: negotiate a 24 hour working week with my boss at the same salary (i would be happy with 28). Should that negotiation fail I will consider setting up my own engineering firm and rent myself back to my own company (Step 2). Step 1 will burn no bridges, Step 2 risks burning bridges but will more than double my income.

With regards to learning programming Andy, I really really love it so far. This is a skill that I have avoided building upon my whole life. Sometimes it seems like my head is going to explode with all the information and even after working here 40 hours, I can still go home with pure excitement for my project. I have to force myself to wind down and go to bed at a healthy time so I get my 8 hours of blissful sleep.

With the 45 mins before bed, normally I do electronics out. I think i will integrate your walking idea into this time and see how that helps.
 

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Also... something else I do when I’m overwhelmed from helping people is to ... go help more people.

It sounds counter intuitive, but I recently listened to “Give and Take” and it explained why.

A giver can get burnt out if they don’t see the impact their giving has on others. Do some extra giving so they can see the effect it has, and a giver can get recharged.
 

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Hey Andy,

Thanks for the feedback.

You are feeding me back a little of my own medicine there haha. You will see what I mean when I launch the website. I will post on the Insiders today and see if I can give some value based on my current skill set to help steer others entrepreneurs to further boost their productivity by minimize production costs and boosting profits by minimizing mistakes and controlling contractors during design initiation phases.

I had the plan to reduce my working hours during my appraisal at the end of the year, and being brought into this new sinking ship project it is maybe not going to help that goal in the long term.

I have to admit, this is my own fault, I offered my skills to help bring the project on track. The people I work with have been constantly complaining for years now about the crap quality coming from this project. One of my close colleagues has even had his second heart attack whilst working on this project, although we are of course not sure there is a direct relationship, but he does get physically tense when we bring this project up.

The fact is I do care about the success of my employer, as what we do does make a difference to the world. I saw that i could offer value to make this project a success and they snapped my offer up. Fact is the project is an absolute embarrassing mess, how they got this far astounds me.

Maybe I need to address this issue of working hours now. First I need to quickly read through "Never split the difference"and formulate a structured plan for this negotiation.

Weird thing is I know with half the hours my performance will double. The fact is, I am locked and clocked into 42.5 hours per week and more than half that time I am not effective because I simply do not have the brain capacity to give 100% 8 hours per day. Who does?

My original plan was Step 1: negotiate a 24 hour working week with my boss at the same salary (i would be happy with 28). Should that negotiation fail I will consider setting up my own engineering firm and rent myself back to my own company (Step 2). Step 1 will burn no bridges, Step 2 risks burning bridges but will more than double my income.

With regards to learning programming Andy, I really really love it so far. This is a skill that I have avoided building upon my whole life. Sometimes it seems like my head is going to explode with all the information and even after working here 40 hours, I can still go home with pure excitement for my project. I have to force myself to wind down and go to bed at a healthy time so I get my 8 hours of blissful sleep.

With the 45 mins before bed, normally I do electronics out. I think i will integrate your walking idea into this time and see how that helps.
Ok, that’s different. It sounds like programming is more akin to a hobby that recharges you - much like me trying to figure out YouTube videos.

I like that you’re looking at this objectively. It sounds like you’re a natural “giver” as described in that book.

According to the book, givers often finish last because they neglect themselves. But smart givers are the ones who will excel. So it sounds like you have to harness your natural tendencies and put some stakes in the ground?
 
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So when I owned an agency, I faced some of these problems myself. I was once rescuing a big project, and it didn't go well. But instead of losing my job, I lost the respect and future business relationship of my client. It's one thing to fail at your job, but it's extremely personal when you fail for a client and you have no one else to blame. It hurts.

I found that my clients were my boss, and a number of them sucked, and I wanted to work on my side hustles instead. But when things got busy I:

• Was kind to myself, first and foremost. I listed the things I was doing, and my time spent, so that I could show myself how hard I was working
• Would make a promise to myself to get back to the side project as soon as I was ready. And I
• Trusted myself
• But I put the side hustle on hold, knowing that I wasn't the kind of person to give up.

If I were you I would do the same. Put the side hustle on hold.

I'm in the same boat right now. I have a family member with cancer. I work a full-time job while taking care of my parents on the weekend (200 miles away) and I have a son in high school that I need to support as well as spend quality of time with him because he's going to be 18 in a couple of years and when that happens he is gone. Forever. I'm not getting this time back. Where does this leave my side project? Sitting on the shelf most of the time, I might only spend 10 hours on it a week. But it's my vision, it's my mission, it's too important to let it die. I will get back to it, but I found you need to prioritize relentlessly, so trust yourself to do the right thing and give yourself credit for taking this so far. You won't give up.

You are doing yourself no good by burning out. The worst possible thing for you to do in my opinion. You need to be okay with taking care of yourself and giving yourself some space and taking a break, knowing that you will come back stronger and more committed. Do yourself a huge favor. Take care of the shit you need to take care of, and rest. But this work situation might not let up until you burn out, and that's definitely not a good choice.

-OR-

Ditch the job, sell everything that is unnecessary in your life, work out a bare bones budget, take an easy 30 to 40 hour a week job, and put your side hustle in overdrive. Most people are too scared to get rid of fancy sh*t in order to make their dreams come true (not saying you are living fancy, I don't know you.)

How committed and "crazy" are you to see this thing through?
Papagang,

This is pure gold! Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and sharing your experiences. It is exactly the advice I needed to hear.

Your life seems infinitely busier than mine, but I see similarities in how life is going right now and I should definitely pay attention to my body and treat myself with kindness.

You have given me a lot to ponder upon especially with regards to prioritization. Truth be told, I have no idea if my social experiment will work and therefore it is a pretty big risk to walk away from my job even though I know where I would rather be.

As far as crazy goes, completely and utterly bonkers my friend! Best way to be!
 

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With regards to learning programming Andy, I really really love it so far. This is a skill that I have avoided building upon my whole life. Sometimes it seems like my head is going to explode with all the information and even after working here 40 hours, I can still go home with pure excitement for my project. I have to force myself to wind down and go to bed at a healthy time so I get my 8 hours of blissful sleep.
Just be careful of this:
 
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When I was a teen I’d take my pulse every morning before getting out of bed. My pulse rate would be high a day or so before I noticed any cold symptoms. Your body is telling you something.
Really??? I went to bed at 7pm yesterday and my heart was pounding out of my chest, so loudly it took 2 hours to fall asleep. Also it was still going this morning when I woke up, hence cancelling my fitness.
Okay body I am listening and I hear you. Time to take a few days off and meditate on the past, present and future.
 

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Really??? I went to bed at 7pm yesterday and my heart was pounding out of my chest, so loudly it took 2 hours to fall asleep. Also it was still going this morning when I woke up, hence cancelling my fitness.
Okay body I am listening and I hear you. Time to take a few days off and meditate on the past, present and future.
I'm worried for you. Definitely take some time out and breathe.

I recorded a private message to a friend in response to his hair-raising story here. He's ok me sharing it. Maybe it will help?

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs
 
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