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Almantas

Nothing to Lose
LEGACY MEMBER
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Joined
Dec 21, 2015
Messages
887
Location
Ireland
Hi guys,

This post is going to be quiet long and describe my psychological battle with multiple invisible entities. Entities that have been living in my head without my permission. Why did I let them do it? Because I was unaware of their presence until recently.

So, if you'd like to know more and have 20 minutes to spare, I send you a warm thank you for being part of my journey and I am hopeful that this post provides some value for you too!

Some of you are already aware of my progress threads, such as this and motivational posts, such as this but no evidence to back them up. Why I've no evidence to back them up? Because I've taken 0 action. I became that loco dude who does same thing over and over again and hopes for different results.

Preparation for a Miserable Journey

Until 2014 I was a regular side-walk guy. I was working part-time while finishing my university degree. I lived with my college sweetheart, lost virginity to her (yeah, this post is going to be pretty transparent), she was the first girl I have ever really kissed, went together on holiday, hell, we event spent 2011-2014 living together. Long-story short, she dumped me due to my over-concentration on studies, part-time job and fitness (according to her at least). She left me instantly, maybe there were signs, but she never directly approached me about it and didn't give a chance to repair a broken situation.

I instantly fell into a severe episode of sadness and hopelessness. My studies suffered and was notified multiple times that my a$$ was about to get kicked out if I don't come to uni. I left my part-time job, because it reminded me of her too much - employer rang my mother and told that they are going to wait for me as long as it takes for me to recover, because I never picked up a call. Sadly, my episode of sadness has never disappeared and the company got acquired and management jumped the ship.

Rationale Behind the Journey

Despite being depressed and struggling with studies, I tried getting another job in a different environment. However, I could not handle office environment at that stage. I was always sad, did not want to interact with co-workers and was pretty much seen as a dark shadow looming in a corner by everyone. Therefore, I decided to jump the ship and embark on entrepreneurship. I had €80k in savings and was confident that I can do it.

Beginning of a Journey

2014 October I graduated with an Honors Degree in International Relations and immediately embarked upon entrepreneurship. I had a good few 'business advisers' who pointed where my money should go. Being still somewhat depressed I didn't properly access the situation and invested majority of my investment in first venture. Long-story short, the process of lifting this venture off the ground by the depressed guy who tried to hustle has proved catastrophic. It flipped. I got burned and fell into even deeper depression.

Uninvited Guests

It was December, 2015 - the moment I joined this forum. Everybody around me was happy, getting ready for Christmas and getting ready to smash 2016 goals. My situation was different, I was lying in bed, pretty much crying until I fall asleep at least 5 times a week and visualizing what great future I could've had with my ex-gf if I had made the right choices at the right time. I didn't know what's going on with me, but I had never felt like it before in my life: extremely suicidal, purposeless, hopeless, isolated and angry on everything around me.

Uninvited Guests Took Over My Car

Those demons, who lived inside of my head took control of my life and choices I've made. I've spent roughly a year living in an extremely dark place. A place that has no light, nor sounds, nor taste, nor purpose. A place that is a complete nothingness, an endless pit of darkness and silence. I got even more isolated, my communication started to suffer, I got even more negative and hatred was through the roof. I began watching horror movies, consuming negative news and stopped going to the gym. Long story short, I became a horror version of a young adult who lives in his parent's basement.

Identifying Uninvited Guests

December 2016. It was a moment I re-called my first huge business failure and reflected back on how I had spent entire 2016, which was doing nothing - at least that's how it looked on the surface, despite my relentless suffering and pain. I decided to end it all. The pain was too much and my anger was out of control, I decided to lessen the burden and let my loved ones live their happy lives without me - I swallowed a handful of pills and passed out. I woke up in a hospital after a few days. I didn't pass it. My mother was crying beside me. She had already lost one child (my brother) few months after his birth. I felt like a failure. Like a complete shite bag.

January rolled-in and I decided that 2017 is going to be the year I put end to this nonsense. I decided it's time to identify who holds me back and cut the rope. I've visited counselors, psychotherapists and psychiatrists. All of them concluded that I am perfectly healthy individual who doesn't suffer from any psychological problems. Hell, some of them told me I am on a similar level knowledge-wise as they are and that I should simply apply what I know, which I had never done before.

Until recently I didn't realize who was the key uninvited guest who began by directing me where to drive in life and ended up taking complete control of a car by kicking me off a driver's seat. The name of that guest is victim-hood.

Getting to Know an Uninvited Guest

Since my 2014 breakup I subconsciously turned a victim mode ON and never turned it OFF. Everyone around me reminded me of how evil my ex was for leaving me without giving a chance to repair a situation. Some of my family members even reminded me of my somewhat disturbing childhood and suggested that my sadness and depression might me related to that. I became a victim of everything around me. I was so convinced that I suffer from a Clinical Depression, that I actually began feeling almost all symptoms. I had been living with that victim mode for almost three years.

Getting Control of a Steering Wheel

As Shin Tzu said "know thy self and thy enemy and you'll win every battle" - it seems I am finally aware of myself and my enemy. I admit, it doesn't feel normal and comfortable, because my mind still wants to go into a victim mode, but my desire to get full control of my life is stronger. If I said that uninvited guest is gone, I would be lying. The fact that I've learned is that I can not get rid of it, it must get rid of itself instead. It's like an uninvited guest who is sitting in a passenger's seat and constantly talking, trying to influence the direction we go. What happens when we ignore a passenger and go different direction instead? Passenger leaves and finds another vehicle with an ignorant driver who is more willing to bend down and stay quiet.

Current Direction

I am finally barely hearing my passenger's voice. I can now better concentrate on my journey. I am not going to create yet another progress thread and abandon it, instead here are the things I've completed in the last week:

1. Deleted FB - I don't wanna see photoshopped lives of people I barely know, who claim to have it all, while eating rotten bread behind the scenes.
2. Ignoring News - Most of them are negative, I don't care if next probable financial crash is around the corner or Mr. Angry Korean Guy launches his nukes, if it meant to happen it will.
3. Decided to Get a Job - I am off to Spain, Poland and Lithuania in a month and will be back in October, so I am not going to apply to any jobs just yet. The reason why I've decided to get a job as a Business Analyst is not because I can not support myself financially (I can still do so for a year), but because I'll finally grab back my communication skills and learn a hell of a stuff that will be applicable to my own venture. Plus, I'll get to meet a lot of awesome guys, who may be my assets for entrepreneurship and become integrated rather than isolated at home.
4. Forgave Myself - I've wasted 3 years of my life. In order to turn my Victim Mode OFF I had to this first, otherwise I'd spend another 30 years crying over each lost year.
5. Turning Beast Mode ON - It'll take some time, but I made a commitment to ignore negative people, unless what they provide is critical feedback. I will now fight for my life, for my future and my dreams. I've lost 3 years? F*ck it. It's gone. I can achieve in the next 3 years more than I did in the last 10 if I direct my energy in the right direction.

Future Direction

I know, future is a mystery and past is a ghost. I am living in the present (finally!), but am open minded about the future. As the saying goes " a man without dreams is like a bird without wings" - but don't forget, if the bird never uses its wings, they are worthless. So, my future direction is feeding my beast and chasing my pray that'll make me better person in all life aspects (spiritual, social, physical, financial, etc.). I am yet unsure of what the future holds and have small control of it, but I am currently in full control of my car and I know I am heading into the right direction finally... The example I like to use:

Imagine: You are a driver of a car. That car is your mind. As with every journey, it's hard to predict weather conditions, traffic, accidents, etc. Same with your life goals...you can rarely know what comes up and in what fashion it interferes with your goals. What happens when we are caught in a terrible weather while driving? In most cases turn on window wipers, turn on some heat and keep driving. What happens when we approach an obstacle on a road (e.g. a bag of potatoes lying on a road) - we drive around it, or eliminate an obstacle. Same with our life goals... every time we're faced with an obstacle, we have to find a way around it (there's always one!) instead of changing direction, or even worse...coming back from where we started.

Thanks for your patience and time.

P.S. This forum is like my family, although my reputation so far hasn't been that great. I'll do my best to contribute to this forum as much as possible in the future, because fighting with inner demons and trying to stay positive at the same time was tough!
 
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Jo hazt,

Vjot qutv ot huoph vu ci raoiv muph epf fitdsoci nz qtzdjumuhodem cevvmi xovj namvoqmi opwotocmi ipvovoit. Ipvovoit vjev jewi ciip mowoph op nz jief xovjuav nz qisnottoup. Xjz fof O miv vjin fu ov? Cideati O xet apexesi ug vjios qsitipdi apvom sidipvmz.

Tu, og zua'f moli vu lpux nusi epf jewi 20 nopavit vu tqesi, O tipf zua e xesn vjepl zua gus cioph qesv ug nz kuaspiz epf O en juqigam vjev vjot qutv qsuwofit tuni wemai gus zua vuu!

Tuni ug zua esi emsiefz exesi ug nz qsuhsitt vjsieft, tadj et vjot epf nuvowevoupem qutvt, tadj et vjot cav pu iwofipdi vu cedl vjin aq. Xjz O'wi pu iwofipdi vu cedl vjin aq? Cideati O'wi velip 0 edvoup. O cideni vjev mudu fafi xju fuit teni vjoph uwis epf uwis eheop epf juqit gus foggisipv sitamvt.

Qsiqesevoup gus e Notisecmi Kuaspiz

Apvom 2014 O xet e sihames tofi-xeml haz. O xet xusloph qesv-voni xjomi gopotjoph nz apowistovz fihsii. O mowif xovj nz dummihi txiivjiesv, mutv woshopovz vu jis (ziej, vjot qutv ot huoph vu ci qsivvz vseptqesipv), tji xet vji gostv hosm O jewi iwis siemmz lottif, xipv vuhivjis up jumofez, jimm, xi iwipv tqipv 2011-2014 mowoph vuhivjis. Muph-tvusz tjusv, tji fanqif ni fai vu nz uwis-dupdipvsevoup up tvafoit, qesv-voni kuc epf govpitt (eddusfoph vu jis ev mietv). Tji migv ni optvepvmz, nezci vjisi xisi tohpt, cav tji piwis fosidvmz eqqsuedjif ni ecuav ov epf fofp'v howi e djepdi vu siqeos e csulip tovaevoup.

O optvepvmz gimm opvu e tiwisi iqotufi ug tefpitt epf juqimittpitt. Nz tvafoit taggisif epf xet puvogoif namvoqmi vonit vjev nz ett xet ecuav vu hiv lodlif uav og O fup'v duni vu apo. O migv nz qesv-voni kuc, cideati ov sinopfif ni ug jis vuu nadj - inqmuzis seph nz nuvjis epf vumf vjev vjiz esi huoph vu xeov gus ni et muph et ov velit gus ni vu siduwis, cideati O piwis qodlif aq e demm. Tefmz, nz iqotufi ug tefpitt jet piwis foteqqiesif epf vji dunqepz huv edraosif epf nepehinipv kanqif vji tjoq.

Sevoupemi Cijopf vji Kuaspiz

Fitqovi cioph fiqsittif epf tvsahhmoph xovj tvafoit, O vsoif hivvoph epuvjis kuc op e foggisipv ipwosupnipv. Juxiwis, O duamf puv jepfmi uggodi ipwosupnipv ev vjev tvehi. O xet emxezt tef, fof puv xepv vu opvisedv xovj du-xuslist epf xet qsivvz nadj tiip et e fesl tjefux muunoph op e duspis cz iwiszupi. Vjisigusi, O fidofif vu kanq vji tjoq epf incesl up ipvsiqsipiastjoq. O jef €80l op tewopht epf xet dupgofipv vjev O dep fu ov.

Cihoppoph ug e Kuaspiz

2014 Udvucis O hsefaevif xovj ep Jupust Fihsii op Opvispevoupem Simevoupt epf onnifoevimz inceslif aqup ipvsiqsipiastjoq. O jef e huuf gix 'catopitt efwotist' xju quopvif xjisi nz nupiz tjuamf hu. Cioph tvomm tunixjev fiqsittif O fofp'v qsuqismz edditt vji tovaevoup epf opwitvif nekusovz ug nz opwitvnipv op gostv wipvasi. Muph-tvusz tjusv, vji qsuditt ug mogvoph vjot wipvasi ugg vji hsuapf cz vji fiqsittif haz xju vsoif vu jatvmi jet qsuwif devetvsuqjod. Ov gmoqqif. O huv caspif epf gimm opvu iwip fiiqis fiqsittoup.

Apopwovif Haitvt

Ov xet Fidincis, 2015 - vji nunipv O kuopif vjot gusan. Iwiszcufz esuapf ni xet jeqqz, hivvoph siefz gus Djsotvnet epf hivvoph siefz vu tnetj 2016 huemt. Nz tovaevoup xet foggisipv, O xet mzoph op cif, qsivvz nadj dszoph apvom O gemm etmiiq ev mietv 5 vonit e xiil epf wotaemoboph xjev hsiev gavasi O duamf'wi jef xovj nz iy-hg og O jef nefi vji sohjv djuodit ev vji sohjv voni. O fofp'v lpux xjev't huoph up xovj ni, cav O jef piwis gimv moli ov cigusi op nz mogi: iyvsinimz taodofem, qasqutimitt, juqimitt, otumevif epf ephsz up iwiszvjoph esuapf ni.

Apopwovif Haitvt Vuul Uwis Nz Des

Vjuti finupt, xju mowif optofi ug nz jief vuul dupvsum ug nz mogi epf djuodit O'wi nefi. O'wi tqipv suahjmz e zies mowoph op ep iyvsinimz fesl qmedi. E qmedi vjev jet pu mohjv, pus tuapft, pus vetvi, pus qasquti. E qmedi vjev ot e dunqmivi puvjophpitt, ep ipfmitt qov ug feslpitt epf tomipdi. O huv iwip nusi otumevif, nz dunnapodevoup tvesvif vu taggis, O huv iwip nusi pihevowi epf jevsif xet vjsuahj vji suug. O cihep xevdjoph jussus nuwoit, duptanoph pihevowi pixt epf tvuqqif huoph vu vji hzn. Muph tvusz tjusv, O cideni e jussus wistoup ug e zuaph efamv xju mowit op jot qesipv't cetinipv.

Ofipvogzoph Apopwovif Haitvt

Fidincis 2016. Ov xet e nunipv O si-demmif nz gostv jahi catopitt geomasi epf sigmidvif cedl up jux O jef tqipv ipvosi 2016, xjodj xet fuoph puvjoph - ev mietv vjev't jux ov muulif up vji tasgedi, fitqovi nz simipvmitt taggisoph epf qeop. O fidofif vu ipf ov emm. Vji qeop xet vuu nadj epf nz ephis xet uav ug dupvsum, O fidofif vu mittip vji casfip epf miv nz muwif upit mowi vjios jeqqz mowit xovjuav ni - O txemmuxif e jepfgam ug qommt epf qettif uav. O xuli aq op e jutqovem egvis e gix fezt. O fofp'v qett ov. Nz nuvjis xet dszoph citofi ni. Tji jef emsiefz mutv upi djomf (nz csuvjis) gix nupvjt egvis jot cosvj. O gimv moli e geomasi. Moli e dunqmivi tjovi ceh.

Kepaesz summif-op epf O fidofif vjev 2017 ot huoph vu ci vji zies O qav ipf vu vjot puptipti. O fidofif ov't voni vu ofipvogz xju jumft ni cedl epf dav vji suqi. O'wi wotovif duaptimust, qtzdjuvjiseqotvt epf qtzdjoevsotvt. Emm ug vjin dupdmafif vjev O en qisgidvmz jiemvjz opfowofaem xju fuitp'v taggis gsun epz qtzdjumuhodem qsucmint. Jimm, tuni ug vjin vumf ni O en up e tonomes miwim lpuxmifhi-xoti et vjiz esi epf vjev O tjuamf tonqmz eqqmz xjev O lpux, xjodj O jef piwis fupi cigusi.

Apvom sidipvmz O fofp'v siemobi xju xet vji liz apopwovif haitv xju cihep cz fosidvoph ni xjisi vu fsowi op mogi epf ipfif aq veloph dunqmivi dupvsum ug e des cz lodloph ni ugg e fsowis't tiev. Vji peni ug vjev haitv ot wodvon-juuf.

Hivvoph vu Lpux ep Apopwovif Haitv

Topdi nz 2014 csielaq O tacduptdouatmz vaspif e wodvon nufi UP epf piwis vaspif ov UGG. Iwiszupi esuapf ni sinopfif ni ug jux iwom nz iy xet gus miewoph ni xovjuav howoph e djepdi vu siqeos e tovaevoup. Tuni ug nz genomz nincist iwip sinopfif ni ug nz tunixjev fotvascoph djomfjuuf epf tahhitvif vjev nz tefpitt epf fiqsittoup nohjv ni simevif vu vjev. O cideni e wodvon ug iwiszvjoph esuapf ni. O xet tu dupwopdif vjev O taggis gsun e Dmopodem Fiqsittoup, vjev O edvaemmz cihep giimoph emnutv emm tznqvunt. O jef ciip mowoph xovj vjev wodvon nufi gus emnutv vjsii ziest.

Hivvoph Dupvsum ug e Tviisoph Xjiim

Et Tjop Vba teof "lpux vjz timg epf vjz ipinz epf zua'mm xop iwisz cevvmi" - ov tiint O en gopemmz exesi ug nztimg epf nz ipinz. O efnov, ov fuitp'v giim pusnem epf dungusvecmi, cideati nz nopf tvomm xepvt vu hu opvu e wodvon nufi, cav nz fitosi vu hiv gamm dupvsum ug nz mogi ot tvsuphis. Og O teof vjev apopwovif haitv ot hupi, O xuamf ci mzoph. Vji gedv vjev O'wi miespif ot vjev O dep puv hiv sof ug ov, ov natv hiv sof ug ovtimg optvief. Ov't moli ep apopwovif haitv xju ot tovvoph op e qettiphis't tiev epf duptvepvmz vemloph, vszoph vu opgmaipdi vji fosidvoup xi hu. Xjev jeqqipt xjip xi ohpusi e qettiphis epf hu foggisipv fosidvoup optvief? Qettiphis miewit epf gopft epuvjis wijodmi xovj ep ohpusepv fsowis xju ot nusi xommoph vu cipf fuxp epf tvez raoiv.

Dassipv Fosidvoup

O en gopemmz cesimz jiesoph nz qettiphis't wuodi. O dep pux civvis dupdipvsevi up nz kuaspiz. O en puv huoph vu dsievi ziv epuvjis qsuhsitt vjsief epf ecepfup ov, optvief jisi esi vji vjopht O'wi dunqmivif op vji metv xiil:

1. Fimivif GC - O fup'v xeppe tii qjuvutjuqqif mowit ug qiuqmi O cesimz lpux, xju dmeon vu jewi ov emm, xjomi ievoph suvvip csief cijopf vji tdipit.
2. Ohpusoph Pixt - Nutv ug vjin esi pihevowi, O fup'v desi og piyv qsucecmi gopepdoem dsetj ot esuapf vji duspis us Ns. Ephsz Lusiep Haz meapdjit jot palit, og ov niepv vu jeqqip ov xomm.
3. Fidofif vu Hiv e Kuc - O en ugg vu Tqeop, Qumepf epf Movjaepoe op e nupvj epf xomm ci cedl op Udvucis, tu O en puv huoph vu eqqmz vu epz kuct katv ziv. Vji sietup xjz O'wi fidofif vu hiv e kuc et e Catopitt Epemztv ot puv cideati O dep puv taqqusv nztimg gopepdoemmz (O dep tvomm fu tu gus e zies), cav cideati O'mm gopemmz hsec cedl nz dunnapodevoup tlommt epf miesp e jimm ug e tvagg vjev xomm ci eqqmodecmi vu nz uxp wipvasi. Qmat, O'mm hiv vu niiv e muv ug exituni hazt, xju nez ci nz ettivt gus ipvsiqsipiastjoq epf ciduni opvihsevif sevjis vjep otumevif ev juni.
4. Gushewi Nztimg - O'wi xetvif 3 ziest ug nz mogi. Op usfis vu vasp nz Wodvon Nufi UGG O jef vu vjot gostv, uvjisxoti O'f tqipf epuvjis 30 ziest dszoph uwis iedj mutv zies.
5. Vaspoph Cietv Nufi UP - Ov'mm veli tuni voni, cav O nefi e dunnovnipv vu ohpusi pihevowi qiuqmi, apmitt xjev vjiz qsuwofi ot dsovodem giifcedl. O xomm pux gohjv gus nz mogi, gus nz gavasi epf nz fsient. O'wi mutv 3 ziest? Gadl ov. Ov't hupi. O dep edjoiwi op vji piyv 3 ziest nusi vjep O fof op vji metv 10 og O fosidv nz ipishz op vji sohjv fosidvoup.

Gavasi Fosidvoup

O lpux, gavasi ot e nztvisz epf qetv ot e hjutv. O en mowoph op vji qsitipv (gopemmz!), cav en uqip nopfif ecuav vji gavasi. Et vji tezoph huit " e nep xovjuav fsient ot moli e cosf xovjuav xopht" - cav fup'v gushiv, og vji cosf piwis atit ovt xopht, vjiz esi xusvjmitt. Tu, nz gavasi fosidvoup ot giifoph nz cietv epf djetoph nz qsez vjev'mm neli ni civvis qistup op emm mogi etqidvt (tqosovaem, tudoem, qjztodem, gopepdoem, ivd.). O en ziv aptasi ug xjev vji gavasi jumft epf jewi tnemm dupvsum ug ov, cav O en dassipvmz op gamm dupvsum ug nz des epf O lpux O en jiefoph opvu vji sohjv fosidvoup gopemmz... Vji iyenqmi O moli vu ati:

Onehopi: Zua esi e fsowis ug e des. Vjev des ot zuas nopf. Et xovj iwisz kuaspiz, ov't jesf vu qsifodv xievjis dupfovoupt, vseggod, eddofipvt, ivd. Teni xovj zuas mogi huemt...zua dep sesimz lpux xjev dunit aq epf op xjev getjoup ov opvisgisit xovj zuas huemt. Xjev jeqqipt xjip xi esi deahjv op e vissocmi xievjis xjomi fsowoph? Op nutv detit vasp up xopfux xoqist, vasp up tuni jiev epf liiq fsowoph. Xjev jeqqipt xjip xi eqqsuedj ep uctvedmi up e suef (i.h. e ceh ug quvevuit mzoph up e suef) - xi fsowi esuapf ov, us imonopevi ep uctvedmi. Teni xovj uas mogi huemt... iwisz voni xi'si gedif xovj ep uctvedmi, xi jewi vu gopf e xez esuapf ov (vjisi't emxezt upi!) optvief ug djephoph fosidvoup, us iwip xusti...dunoph cedl gsun xjisi xi tvesvif.

Vjeplt gus zuas qevoipdi epf voni.

Q.T. Vjot gusan ot moli nz genomz, emvjuahj nz siqavevoup tu ges jetp'v ciip vjev hsiev. O'mm fu nz citv vu dupvsocavi vu vjot gusan et nadj et quttocmi op vji gavasi, cideati gohjvoph xovj oppis finupt epf vszoph vu tvez qutovowi ev vji teni voni xet vuahj!

Huuf gus zua, gus fidofoph vu vasp zuas mogi esuapf.
Et ges et xi lpux, zua upmz hiv upi ug vjuti - civvis hsec 'in cz vji juspt.

O lpux jux nadj ug xjev zua'wi ciip vjsuahj giimt, ov't piwis ietz.
Xovj sihesft vu vaspoph Cietv Nufi UP epf vaspoph Wodvon Nufi UGG, O'f tahhitv tunivjoph vjev jet jimqif ni qistupemmz, apfistvepf vji apfismzoph vjuahjv qevvispt vjev jewi fodvevif nadj ug nz cijewous xjip O nztimg xet op Wodvon Nufi.

O sief "Pu Nusi Ns Podi Haz" cz eavjus Fs. Sucisv Hmuwis - ov iyqmeopt op hsiev fiveom, epf xovj muvt ug iyenqmit, nepz ug vji nipvem tdjinet vjev "Podi Hazt" epf "Wodvont" esi iyqisoipdoph tacduptdouatmz.
Howi ov e vsz og zua jewip'v - zua xup'v sihsiv ov.
 
Huuf gus zua, gus fidofoph vu vasp zuas mogi esuapf.
Et ges et xi lpux, zua upmz hiv upi ug vjuti - civvis hsec 'in cz vji juspt.

O lpux jux nadj ug xjev zua'wi ciip vjsuahj giimt, ov't piwis ietz.
Xovj sihesft vu vaspoph Cietv Nufi UP epf vaspoph Wodvon Nufi UGG, O'f tahhitv tunivjoph vjev jet jimqif ni qistupemmz, apfistvepf vji apfismzoph vjuahjv qevvispt vjev jewi fodvevif nadj ug nz cijewous xjip O nztimg xet op Wodvon Nufi.

O sief "Pu Nusi Ns Podi Haz" cz eavjus Fs. Sucisv Hmuwis - ov iyqmeopt op hsiev fiveom, epf xovj muvt ug iyenqmit, nepz ug vji nipvem tdjinet vjev "Podi Hazt" epf "Wodvont" esi iyqisoipdoph tacduptdouatmz.
Howi ov e vsz og zua jewip'v - zua xup'v sihsiv ov.

Vjeplt gus taqqusv nep!

Ziej, ov't puv ietz, cav jet vu ci fupi. Uvjisxoti O'f tqipf nz mogi cioph notisecmi epf xotjoph O jef fupi tunivjoph imti iesmois op mogi.

Vjeplt gus tahhitvoph vjot cuul, O katv qasdjetif ov gsun Cuulfiqutovusz gix nopavit ehu. Dep'v xeov vu hiv nz jepft up ov!
 
Vjeplt gus taqqusv nep!

Ziej, ov't puv ietz, cav jet vu ci fupi. Uvjisxoti O'f tqipf nz mogi cioph notisecmi epf xotjoph O jef fupi tunivjoph imti iesmois op mogi.

Vjeplt gus tahhitvoph vjot cuul, O katv qasdjetif ov gsun Cuulfiqutovusz gix nopavit ehu. Dep'v xeov vu hiv nz jepft up ov!
Lafut gus vji getv onqminipvevoup.
Og zua dep, hiv zuas jepft up ep eafoucuul wistoup - ov jet nusi onqedv op nz uqopoup.

Tipv gsun nz Piyat 5Y atoph Veqeveml
 
Huuf gus zua, gus fidofoph vu vasp zuas mogi esuapf.
Et ges et xi lpux, zua upmz hiv upi ug vjuti - civvis hsec 'in cz vji juspt.

O lpux jux nadj ug xjev zua'wi ciip vjsuahj giimt, ov't piwis ietz.
Xovj sihesft vu vaspoph Cietv Nufi UP epf vaspoph Wodvon Nufi UGG, O'f tahhitv tunivjoph vjev jet jimqif ni qistupemmz, apfistvepf vji apfismzoph vjuahjv qevvispt vjev jewi fodvevif nadj ug nz cijewous xjip O nztimg xet op Wodvon Nufi.

O sief "Pu Nusi Ns Podi Haz" cz eavjus Fs. Sucisv Hmuwis - ov iyqmeopt op hsiev fiveom, epf xovj muvt ug iyenqmit, nepz ug vji nipvem tdjinet vjev "Podi Hazt" epf "Wodvont" esi iyqisoipdoph tacduptdouatmz.
Howi ov e vsz og zua jewip'v - zua xup'v sihsiv ov.
O tidupf vjot cuul! Iwip et e xunep, vjisi xet e vup ug wemaecmi opgusnevoup vu miesp! Tuni ug ov xetp'v eqqmodecmi vu ni us nz tovaevoup (emsiefz nessoif cz vji voni O sief ov), cav moli iwiszvjoph imti, veli xjev zua piif epf miewi vji sitv. [emoji4]

Tipv gsun nz TN-H930V atoph Veqeveml
 
og o epemzbi vjot! vji nutv dsovodem vjoph op zuas mogi ot vji qsucmin xovj "mivvoph hu" !!! Zua tjuamf tvesv vu nifovevi iwiszfez, 20 nopt op vji nuspoph epf 20 nopt cigusi huoph vu cif tu zuas tacduptdouat dep hiv dmiepif gsun CT! Miv hu gus siem! Geomasit, Nupiz, Qsuqisvoit, Simevouptjoq epf xjev iwis zua vjopl ug zua dep puv veli ov xovj zua opvu hsewizesf! 'Etl zuastimg, og tuniupi vumf zua vu foi piyv xiil! Xuamf epzvjoph nevvis vu zua xjev esi zua nef ecuav? pu zua xuamf ci nef ecuav puv mowoph mogi vu gammitv! Epf vji ceffitv vjoph zua dep fu ot neloph zuas nuuf fiqipfipv up qiuqmi, piwis iwis fu vjev us zua xomm ipf aq fiqsittowi... siemmz Gostv CI Jeqqz epf iwiszvjoph imti xomm gemm op qmedi! hu optofi zuastimg epf zua xomm gopf xjev zua muuloph gus (tussz e movvmi cov quivod cav ovt vsai) ... Ev vji ipf ZUA esi vji uctvedmi epf puv uvjis qiuqmi!!!
 
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