Trying to motivate a friend that is unwilling to see the light.

[Argue]

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[Tanisha]

No need to start hurling insults.

its not really a insult if he's acting like he knows it all

 

[TheRegalMachine]

I hate cliches but sometimes they are far too profound not to acknowledged them as truth.
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."
Even if you give some one all the tools and information to better themselves, most won't use it.
All the nagging and explaining won't do a thing.
For a person to change they need to have a personal experience, either internal or external, to be motivated to act.
If he doesn't have the thirst to pursue success nothing you do will make him thirsty.
Another cliche that applies here which I'm not sure is a cliche is:
"You can't take everyone with you."
In your journey to success, some of the people around you now can't follow you to the top.
Not only can they not handle it, some won't understand it, and they could be detrimental to you and your success.
Let him be.
And hope that maybe one day he'll figure things out himself.

 

[Shortypants]

Hey Fastlane!

So here's the deal. I have this friend. We've been best friends the majority of our lives. I see the light, and I have tried numerous times to get him to see the light too, but nothing I say or do seems to get through to him. I think you all know where this is going. You've heard it before. Additionally, I am aware of the types of responses this will likely receive. Responses such as "you can bring him to the water, but you can't force him to drink it." or "If he's truly unwilling to put in the effort, maybe you should stop wasting your time and pursue a business venture with someone who is more willing." I am well aware of all of this. However, my purpose for this thread is a little different. My intentions are to take the responses of this thread, and show it to him, to make him read it, and for him to see that it's not just me saying these things, but successful people from all avenues agreeing on these principals as they truly are "the way".

Chances are, this thread and the value it provides at the end will be useful to way more people than just myself, as we all know people like this.

Now before we get started, I would like to give you guys a little background.

My friend, along with myself are both 21. I recently finished school for computer science. I am currently unemployed but am in the process of applying for jobs, which once landed will give me the spare cash needed to pursue an entrepreneurial venture. He was attending college but decided to drop out. He currently works two slow lane jobs. Job #1: he works 40 hrs/week @ $14 per hour, M-F. Then once he leaves, he clocks in at his second job as a server at a local restaurant. All in all, he works over 60 hours per week, usually every day, and by the time he gets home, he is usually too tired to do much else for the day. His favorite activity for when he is not at work, or at some form of social gathering, is to sit back, watch TV, maybe play some video games, and just take it easy. Although I am not perfect myself, usually, when I have free time, you will find me buried in a book, or scouring the internet teaching myself new skills that I will have ready to implement once I have a good job and some spare cash to play around with, which will be within a few weeks. While technically his income at the moment is more than mine, I would ask you guys, based off of this information, who do you think is more motivated? Who do you think wants it more?

Trying to escape:
The lifestyle he's been living lately is a textbook example of the slow lane. I have tried pointing out to him the fact that he is slaving away his days, and that this is hardly the lifestyle he should be aspiring to live. On the plus side, he does agree that working 60 hours a week is not the way to go. He agrees that the quality of his life would greatly improve if somehow he could make the same, or more money, while working less, being his own boss, and not having to wake up at 5-am each morning. I have on countless occasions tried to lay out a game plan. Neither of us exactly has a lot of spare money to play around with right now. As far as achieving an ultimate goal of financial independence, I believe it is best-accomplished step by step. Although I may not have an abundance of money to play around with right now, I do have enough. We both have enough actually, to where we could pursue something small, make a little bit of extra money and reinvest that money in a slightly bigger project the next time around, and let it snowball. We can use something small as a stepping stone essentially. I've tried getting him to collude with me on bringing a small idea to life to be used as a stepping stone. The problem is, his mentality of what that stepping stone should be is completely off, in my opinion. Although there is no way to guarantee what will work and won't when it comes to business, I have presented countless different ideas. Here is a simple summarized idea for a stepping stone that I have shared with him. An e-commerce website. We can find a product with a decent demand that isn't too saturated. We can contact the manufacturers of such a product, try to work out a wholesale or drop shipping arrangement. Create a website. Run some advertising campaigns. Optimize our strategy from there once enough data is gathered to try to get an optimal return on investment and scale up from there by increasing our advertising budget, working out better deals with our suppliers, etc. This is basically just the run down version of only one of my ideas, but you get the gist of it. He does not like this idea at all. I am an open minded individual. If what you're saying actually holds some ground, I will listen. I am open to anything. That being said, with him bashing such an idea, I have asked him to come up with a better alternative. The alternative that he is stuck on might you ask? A landscaping business. As if there wasn't enough slow lane ideology for you in this thread already.

Some of the drawbacks I have pointed out to him regarding a landscaping business:

- Up front capital required: Trucks, Trailers, Lawnmowers, Weed Whackers, Safety Equipment, etc.

- Scalability: How many lawns can you possibly mow in one day?

- Customer Acquisition: Is knocking on doors asking if they would like their lawn mowed the best we can come up with?

- Time consumption: We're trying to escape working 8 hour days, not double down on it.

Some pros I have pointed out to him regarding e-commerce (although I am aware e-commerce has cons too):

- Up front capital: The monthly hosting cost for a website is usually extremely cheap. With my computer science background, I can build a website from scratch in a single day (or a rough draft at least). Also, there are very well designed templates that can be acquired for roughly $100. Also, an e-commerce website would likely get you your money back faster as the initial investment required is lower.

- Adaptability: We build a website. That product doesn't sell. We scrap the website. Redesign it for another product, try again with round two.

- Time commitment: (Although until it is fully optimized, an e-commerce website can eat away hours each day too) It generally speaking will require much less time than running a landscaping business.

Now here is probably the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal for me. Here is an actual conversation that took place last night:

Me: Why would I start a landscaping business when I can start an internet business?
Him: Why would I start an internet business when I can start a landscaping business?
Me: *Laid out the pros and cons above*
Him: *In one ear and out the other*
Me: "You know what you should do? Read 'The Millionaire Fastlane' as it's a great book and it will change your whole mentality. If you would just read the book you would understand why a landscaping or slow lane business model is not ideal. I read the whole book in a day. You can be done with it before you know it and you will see things with much more clarity. Once you read that book, please come back to me, and tell me with a straight face that you think a landscaping business is going to solve all of your problems."
Him: "F*ck that... I'm not reading that stupid a** book."

Over the last year or so I have mentioned reading the book to him countless times. He refuses. He doesn't read books because apparently, he has it all figured out.

I have no problem pursuing a venture on my own, but wouldn't mind taking my friends a long for the ride. However, there is only so much I can try to snap him out of it. Before I take that step I would like this to be a last ditch effort to snap him, and also a few other friends, out of this mentality. As I am not a multi millionaire entrepreneur (yet ) apparently what I say holds no weight. Therefore, I would like to take it to the people of The Fastlane Forum. If you could say something to this friend to try and bring him to the light, what would you tell him? (I plan on showing him these responses afterward.)

Thanks for your input! and I apologize for the length.

Focus on your own problems, I love your enthousiasm but
it won't work.

Verstuurd vanaf mijn ALE-L21 met Tapatalk

 

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[Mattie]

I have no problem pursuing a venture on my own, but wouldn't mind taking my friends a long for the ride. However, there is only so much I can try to snap him out of it. Before I take that step I would like this to be a last ditch effort to snap him, and also a few other friends, out of this mentality. As I am not a multi millionaire entrepreneur (yet ) apparently what I say holds no weight. Therefore, I would like to take it to the people of The Fastlane Forum. If you could say something to this friend to try and bring him to the light, what would you tell him? (I plan on showing him these responses afterward.)

Thanks for your input! and I apologize for the length.

I wouldn't say anything. I think the lesson for you to learn is your path is not other people's paths. Convincing someone of anything is really useless when it comes to something like this, because they have to be ready to learn it. Example, everyone around me for the most part is still in the same mindset they were in 2008. Sure they've grown a little in various ways, while I've grown in leaps and bounds. I speak a different language, talk about it all the time, and it goes in one ear and out the other. People get there in their own time. Not your time. You may get in certain places in time other people never reach. We like other people to learn and grow with us, but unless they're like minded, they don't always see eye to eye.
Just like people have told me I should be an x-ray tech, bank teller, work at supermarket, it doesn't fit my personality when I'm built to be a natural psychologist, writer, photographer, artist, teacher, leader, entrepreneur. While I am more concerned about Health, it's not so much biological health as mental and emotional.
I wouldn't be good at manufacturing car parts in a factory, being a fashion designer, coal minor. I'd get bored out of my mind because I'm intellectual and people person.
Entrepreneurs are competitive. If he's not competitive he'll slack.

 

[tiagosoares17.22]

Most people change because of two reasons: INSPIRATION or DESPERATION.

He doesn't seem to be inspired by you, neither desperate with the results he is getting out of life. Since you are not an inspiration for him, why would he listen to you? The only thing you can do for him is to INSPIRE him to take action only based on your own actions and results. This means: he MIGHT listen to you when you start to have tangible results. Until then, don't waste a lot of your time and energy in convincing other people. For now, focus and invest on you, that will pay the most dividends.