Trying to motivate a friend that is unwilling to see the light.

[jfny]

Hey Fastlane!

So here's the deal. I have this friend. We've been best friends the majority of our lives. I see the light, and I have tried numerous times to get him to see the light too, but nothing I say or do seems to get through to him. I think you all know where this is going. You've heard it before. Additionally, I am aware of the types of responses this will likely receive. Responses such as "you can bring him to the water, but you can't force him to drink it." or "If he's truly unwilling to put in the effort, maybe you should stop wasting your time and pursue a business venture with someone who is more willing." I am well aware of all of this. However, my purpose for this thread is a little different. My intentions are to take the responses of this thread, and show it to him, to make him read it, and for him to see that it's not just me saying these things, but successful people from all avenues agreeing on these principals as they truly are "the way".

Chances are, this thread and the value it provides at the end will be useful to way more people than just myself, as we all know people like this.

Now before we get started, I would like to give you guys a little background.

My friend, along with myself are both 21. I recently finished school for computer science. I am currently unemployed but am in the process of applying for jobs, which once landed will give me the spare cash needed to pursue an entrepreneurial venture. He was attending college but decided to drop out. He currently works two slow lane jobs. Job #1: he works 40 hrs/week @ $14 per hour, M-F. Then once he leaves, he clocks in at his second job as a server at a local restaurant. All in all, he works over 60 hours per week, usually every day, and by the time he gets home, he is usually too tired to do much else for the day. His favorite activity for when he is not at work, or at some form of social gathering, is to sit back, watch TV, maybe play some video games, and just take it easy. Although I am not perfect myself, usually, when I have free time, you will find me buried in a book, or scouring the internet teaching myself new skills that I will have ready to implement once I have a good job and some spare cash to play around with, which will be within a few weeks. While technically his income at the moment is more than mine, I would ask you guys, based off of this information, who do you think is more motivated? Who do you think wants it more?

Trying to escape:
The lifestyle he's been living lately is a textbook example of the slow lane. I have tried pointing out to him the fact that he is slaving away his days, and that this is hardly the lifestyle he should be aspiring to live. On the plus side, he does agree that working 60 hours a week is not the way to go. He agrees that the quality of his life would greatly improve if somehow he could make the same, or more money, while working less, being his own boss, and not having to wake up at 5-am each morning. I have on countless occasions tried to lay out a game plan. Neither of us exactly has a lot of spare money to play around with right now. As far as achieving an ultimate goal of financial independence, I believe it is best-accomplished step by step. Although I may not have an abundance of money to play around with right now, I do have enough. We both have enough actually, to where we could pursue something small, make a little bit of extra money and reinvest that money in a slightly bigger project the next time around, and let it snowball. We can use something small as a stepping stone essentially. I've tried getting him to collude with me on bringing a small idea to life to be used as a stepping stone. The problem is, his mentality of what that stepping stone should be is completely off, in my opinion. Although there is no way to guarantee what will work and won't when it comes to business, I have presented countless different ideas. Here is a simple summarized idea for a stepping stone that I have shared with him. An e-commerce website. We can find a product with a decent demand that isn't too saturated. We can contact the manufacturers of such a product, try to work out a wholesale or drop shipping arrangement. Create a website. Run some advertising campaigns. Optimize our strategy from there once enough data is gathered to try to get an optimal return on investment and scale up from there by increasing our advertising budget, working out better deals with our suppliers, etc. This is basically just the run down version of only one of my ideas, but you get the gist of it. He does not like this idea at all. I am an open minded individual. If what you're saying actually holds some ground, I will listen. I am open to anything. That being said, with him bashing such an idea, I have asked him to come up with a better alternative. The alternative that he is stuck on might you ask? A landscaping business. As if there wasn't enough slow lane ideology for you in this thread already.

Some of the drawbacks I have pointed out to him regarding a landscaping business:

- Up front capital required: Trucks, Trailers, Lawnmowers, Weed Whackers, Safety Equipment, etc.

- Scalability: How many lawns can you possibly mow in one day?

- Customer Acquisition: Is knocking on doors asking if they would like their lawn mowed the best we can come up with?

- Time consumption: We're trying to escape working 8 hour days, not double down on it.

Some pros I have pointed out to him regarding e-commerce (although I am aware e-commerce has cons too):

- Up front capital: The monthly hosting cost for a website is usually extremely cheap. With my computer science background, I can build a website from scratch in a single day (or a rough draft at least). Also, there are very well designed templates that can be acquired for roughly $100. Also, an e-commerce website would likely get you your money back faster as the initial investment required is lower.

- Adaptability: We build a website. That product doesn't sell. We scrap the website. Redesign it for another product, try again with round two.

- Time commitment: (Although until it is fully optimized, an e-commerce website can eat away hours each day too) It generally speaking will require much less time than running a landscaping business.

Now here is probably the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal for me. Here is an actual conversation that took place last night:

Me: Why would I start a landscaping business when I can start an internet business?
Him: Why would I start an internet business when I can start a landscaping business?
Me: *Laid out the pros and cons above*
Him: *In one ear and out the other*
Me: "You know what you should do? Read 'The Millionaire Fastlane' as it's a great book and it will change your whole mentality. If you would just read the book you would understand why a landscaping or slow lane business model is not ideal. I read the whole book in a day. You can be done with it before you know it and you will see things with much more clarity. Once you read that book, please come back to me, and tell me with a straight face that you think a landscaping business is going to solve all of your problems."
Him: "F*ck that... I'm not reading that stupid a** book."

Over the last year or so I have mentioned reading the book to him countless times. He refuses. He doesn't read books because apparently, he has it all figured out.

I have no problem pursuing a venture on my own, but wouldn't mind taking my friends a long for the ride. However, there is only so much I can try to snap him out of it. Before I take that step I would like this to be a last ditch effort to snap him, and also a few other friends, out of this mentality. As I am not a multi millionaire entrepreneur (yet ) apparently what I say holds no weight. Therefore, I would like to take it to the people of The Fastlane Forum. If you could say something to this friend to try and bring him to the light, what would you tell him? (I plan on showing him these responses afterward.)

Thanks for your input! and I apologize for the length.

 

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[jon.a]

do both

 

[ZF Lee]

Hey Fastlane!

So here's the deal. I have this friend. We've been best friends the majority of our lives. I see the light, and I have tried numerous times to get him to see the light too, but nothing I say or do seems to get through to him. I think you all know where this is going. You've heard it before. Additionally, I am aware of the types of responses this will likely receive. Responses such as "you can bring him to the water, but you can't force him to drink it." or "If he's truly unwilling to put in the effort, maybe you should stop wasting your time and pursue a business venture with someone who is more willing." I am well aware of all of this. However, my purpose for this thread is a little different. My intentions are to take the responses of this thread, and show it to him, to make him read it, and for him to see that it's not just me saying these things, but successful people from all avenues agreeing on these principals as they truly are "the way".

Chances are, this thread and the value it provides at the end will be useful to way more people than just myself, as we all know people like this.

Now before we get started, I would like to give you guys a little background.

My friend, along with myself are both 21. I recently finished school for computer science. I am currently unemployed but am in the process of applying for jobs, which once landed will give me the spare cash needed to pursue an entrepreneurial venture. He was attending college but decided to drop out. He currently works two slow lane jobs. Job #1: he works 40 hrs/week @ $14 per hour, M-F. Then once he leaves, he clocks in at his second job as a server at a local restaurant. All in all, he works over 60 hours per week, usually every day, and by the time he gets home, he is usually too tired to do much else for the day. His favorite activity for when he is not at work, or at some form of social gathering, is to sit back, watch TV, maybe play some video games, and just take it easy. Although I am not perfect myself, usually, when I have free time, you will find me buried in a book, or scouring the internet teaching myself new skills that I will have ready to implement once I have a good job and some spare cash to play around with, which will be within a few weeks. While technically his income at the moment is more than mine, I would ask you guys, based off of this information, who do you think is more motivated? Who do you think wants it more?

Trying to escape:
The lifestyle he's been living lately is a textbook example of the slow lane. I have tried pointing out to him the fact that he is slaving away his days, and that this is hardly the lifestyle he should be aspiring to live. On the plus side, he does agree that working 60 hours a week is not the way to go. He agrees that the quality of his life would greatly improve if somehow he could make the same, or more money, while working less, being his own boss, and not having to wake up at 5-am each morning. I have on countless occasions tried to lay out a game plan. Neither of us exactly has a lot of spare money to play around with right now. As far as achieving an ultimate goal of financial independence, I believe it is best-accomplished step by step. Although I may not have an abundance of money to play around with right now, I do have enough. We both have enough actually, to where we could pursue something small, make a little bit of extra money and reinvest that money in a slightly bigger project the next time around, and let it snowball. We can use something small as a stepping stone essentially. I've tried getting him to collude with me on bringing a small idea to life to be used as a stepping stone. The problem is, his mentality of what that stepping stone should be is completely off, in my opinion. Although there is no way to guarantee what will work and won't when it comes to business, I have presented countless different ideas. Here is a simple summarized idea for a stepping stone that I have shared with him. An e-commerce website. We can find a product with a decent demand that isn't too saturated. We can contact the manufacturers of such a product, try to work out a wholesale or drop shipping arrangement. Create a website. Run some advertising campaigns. Optimize our strategy from there once enough data is gathered to try to get an optimal return on investment and scale up from there by increasing our advertising budget, working out better deals with our suppliers, etc. This is basically just the run down version of only one of my ideas, but you get the gist of it. He does not like this idea at all. I am an open minded individual. If what you're saying actually holds some ground, I will listen. I am open to anything. That being said, with him bashing such an idea, I have asked him to come up with a better alternative. The alternative that he is stuck on might you ask? A landscaping business. As if there wasn't enough slow lane ideology for you in this thread already.

Some of the drawbacks I have pointed out to him regarding a landscaping business:

- Up front capital required (Trucks, Trailers, Lawnmowers, Weed Whackers, Safety Equipment, etc.)

- Scalability. How many lawns can you possibly mow in one day?

- Customer Acquisition. Is knocking on doors asking if they would like their lawn mowed the best we can come up with?

- Time consumption. We're trying to escape working 8 hour days, not double down on it.

Some pros I have pointed out to him regarding e-commerce (although I am aware e-commerce has cons too):

- Up front capital. The monthly hosting cost for a website is usually extremely cheap. With my computer science background, I can build a website from scratch in a single day (or a rough draft at least). Also, there are very well designed templates that can be acquired for roughly $100. Also, an e-commerce website would likely get you your money back faster as the initial investment required is lower.

- Adaptability. We build a website. That product doesn't sell. We scrap the website. Redesign it for another product, try again with round two.

- Time commitment (although until it is fully optimized, an e-commerce website can eat away hours each day too, it generally speaking will require much less time than running a landscaping business.)

Now here is probably the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal for me. Here is an actual conversation that took place last night (based on the above pros and cons):

Me: Why would I start a landscaping business when I can start an internet business?
Him: Why would I start an internet business when I can start a landscaping business?
Me: *Laid out the pros and cons above*
Him: *In one ear and out the other*
Me: "You know what you should do? Read 'The Millionaire Fastlane' as it's a great book and it will change your whole mentality. If you would just read the book you would understand why a landscaping or slow lane business model is not ideal. I read the whole book in a day. You can be done with it before you know it and it will see things with much more clarity. Once you read that book, please come back to me, and tell me with a straight face that you think a landscaping business is going to solve all of your problems."
Him: "F*ck that... I'm not reading that stupid a** book."

Over the last year or so I have mentioned reading the book to him countless times. He refuses. He doesn't read books because apparently, he has it all figured out.

I have no problem pursuing a venture on my own, but wouldn't mind taking my friends a long for the ride. However, there is only so much I can try to snap him out of it. Before I take that step I would like this to be a last ditch effort to snap him, and also a few other friends, out of this mentality. As I am not a multi millionaire entrepreneur (yet ) apparently what I say holds no weight. Therefore, I would like to take it to the people of The Fastlane Forum. If you could say something to this friend to try and bring him to the light, what would you tell him? ( I plan on showing him these responses afterward.)

Thanks for your input! and I apologize for the length.

Can't both landscaping and the internet be merged into a hybrid?
If he has the experience or contacts for landscaping, it's not a dud.
Let him go for that industry if he wants too. And there are lots of industries supporting the landscape niche like transport, marketing, lead generation, tools, etc.

IMO, landscape is slowlane, but it can be Fastlaned. Yes, takes more time to Fastlane. But again, the difficulty to do so actually creates a stronger Entry barrier. But it is up to your friend. Let him choose. Give him freedom.

Even if he doesn't make it in the first round, he would have uncovered other opportunities as well to go for the second round.

There's nothing disastrous about the whole affair, and you shouldn't be very worried. But if your friend ignores reading TMF just because 'it's a stupid book', it's a warning sign. How is he going to continue his Fastlane education? To a degree we all need to read even when executing.

But good for you and your friend...you both are talking shop at least. It's a F*cking rarity to find twenty-year olds doing that these days.

 

[sam9530130]

Stop wasting your time and energy on trying to enlighten him and focus on your own stuff.

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Lol.

One of the wealthiest people I know owns a landscaping company.

Think less "mowing lawns" and more "hiring landscape architects to design 1/2 million dollar projects, using your own guys to do the work, and being the "go to guy" in a 3 state area"

 

[JWelch]

So you've spent countless days wasting your breath to convince this guy now you want us to waste our time doing the same thing?

If you want to convince him why don't you forget about what he's doing and focus on what you need to do to be massively successful.

It's pretty convincing when you are living UNSCRIPTED and he's still working two jobs and trying to save money and pay off a car etc.
You can do all of that and not say another word to him about anything ever again. He will just see it.

 

[jon.a]

Add option 3 to the survey. Unless, you're just trying to validate your choice.

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Lol.

One of the wealthiest people I know owns a landscaping company.

Think less "mowing lawns" and more "hiring landscape architects to design 1/2 million dollar projects, using your own guys to do the work, and being the "go to guy" in a 3 state area"

BTW,

Government spends BIG money on this kind of stuff.

Want landscaping to be fast lane? Do business with the governments...

Kids parks...
Civic centers...
Administrative buildings...
Schools...
Green space between curbs and sidewalks...
Downtown areas with trees, custom sidewalks, drainage, etc...

That's all "landscaping"

You think they just throw some grass down? Nope. All designed and built by highly paid professionals...

Think bigger.

 

[Iammelissamoore]

What I am understanding in my pursuit is that any business can actually go fastlane, it strictly depends on the techniques one uses to craft it this way. Surely it requires tweaking particular aspects of the biz with the philosophies highlighted in both books which assists in building a solid, fail-proof foundation and building from there, along with continuous engagement with our customer base to ensure we are continuously providing the qualities/values they require via our products/services.

 

[jfny]

Can't both landscaping and the internet be merged into a hybrid?
If he has the experience or contacts for landscaping, it's not a dud.
Let him go for that industry if he wants too. And there are lots of industries supporting the landscape niche like transport, marketing, lead generation, tools, etc.

IMO, landscape is slowlane, but it can be Fastlaned. Yes, takes more time to Fastlane. But again, the difficulty to do so actually creates a stronger Entry barrier. But it is up to your friend. Let him choose. Give him freedom.

Even if he doesn't make it in the first round, he would have uncovered other opportunities as well to go for the second round.

There's nothing disastrous about the whole affair, and you shouldn't be very worried. But if your friend ignores reading TMF just because 'it's a stupid book', it's a warning sign. How is he going to continue his Fastlane education? To a degree we all need to read even when executing.

But good for you and your friend...you both are talking shop at least. It's a F*cking rarity to find twenty-year olds doing that these days.

That's kind of why I'm turned off to the idea. It's just so slowlane. If I did actually decide to give it a go, of course I would implement fastlane ideaolgies to it. I just don't think a landscaping company is the best bet. But yeah either ends up happening, at least I'll have something

Lol.

One of the wealthiest people I know owns a landscaping company.

Think less "mowing lawns" and more "hiring landscape architects to design 1/2 million dollar projects, using your own guys to do the work, and being the "go to guy" in a 3 state area"

I know there is money to be made landscaping. I actually know a guy that owns his own landscaping company too. I just don't know if I would consider it the best option. Would you rather be a landscaper or an internet entrepreneur?

So you've spent countless days wasting your breath to convince this guy now you want us to waste our time doing the same thing?

If you want to convince him why don't you forget about what he's doing and focus on what you need to do to be massively successful.

It's pretty convincing when you are living UNSCRIPTED and he's still working two jobs and trying to save money and pay off a car etc.
You can do all of that and not say another word to him about anything ever again. He will just see it.

I wouldn't put it like that really. I'm sure there are other people on this forum who know people with similar mentalities that might find this useful as well. And that thought crosses my mind on all the time. Once they see money being made, then they'll believe it.

BTW,

Government spends BIG money on this kind of stuff.

Want landscaping to be fast lane? Do business with the governments...

Kids parks...
Civic centers...
Administrative buildings...
Schools...
Green space between curbs and sidewalks...
Downtown areas with trees, custom sidewalks, drainage, etc...

That's all "landscaping"

You think they just throw some grass down? Nope. All designed and built by highly paid professionals...

Think bigger.

If I did do it, those big jobs would be the way to go, but don't know if two 21 year olds have the capital required for something like that. I don't think a beater truck and some run down lawnmowers would get a job of that scale done well enough.

Add option 3 to the survey. Unless, you're just trying to validate your choice.

Added more

 

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[jsk29]

I'd avoid giving advice to anyone unless asked.

One day a friend of mine started talking about a "business opportunity." After a few questions it turns out he'd joined an MLM.

I spent a couple of weeks trying to talk him out of it. Even went to go meet his recruiter and have a "discussion" (turned into a mini debate).

The sole result was my friend resenting me.

 

[mrarcher]

I've said it a few times on this forum, success is measured on how happy you are nothing else. The way I see it is I do my thing, friends and family do theirs... I'm happy, they're happy why push it. If people want to change they will see what you are doing and start to ask questions. That is the time to give advice otherwise you are no better than one of these door to door religious people annoying everyone about something they don't want to hear.

 

[SquatchMan]

The lifestyle he's been living lately is a textbook example of the slow lane. I have tried pointing out to him the fact that he is slaving away his days, and that this is hardly the lifestyle he should be aspiring to live.

Dude. You don't have a job, an income source, or a business you're starting. All you do is read books about business.

You want me to be honest... The lifestyle you live is that of a wantpreneur.

Stop looking for excuses on why you can't start a business. Look for reasons why you can start a business.

A landscaping business. As if there wasn't enough slow lane ideology for you in this thread already.

You don't have a job, an income, or a business you're starting. Please stop bashing people that actually want to start a business and make money. Starting any business is better than reading about starting a business.

While technically his income at the moment is more than mine, I would ask you guys, based off of this information, who do you think is more motivated? Who do you think wants it more?

His income is technically more than you? Dude you don't have any income. He makes more than you.

He sounds more motivated. He works 60 hour weeks and is looking at starting a business.

You?

You read books about starting a business all day.

Please tell me this a joke.

 

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[mrarcher]

Dude. You don't have a job, an income source, or a business you're starting. All you do is read books about business.

You want me to be honest... The lifestyle you live is that of a wantpreneur.

Stop looking for excuses on why you can't start a business. Look for reasons why you can start a business.



You don't have a job, an income, or a business you're starting. Please stop bashing people that actually want to start a business and make money. Starting any business is better than reading about starting a business.




His income is technically more than you? Dude you don't have any income. He makes more than you.

He sounds more motivated. He works 60 hour weeks and is looking at starting a business.

You?

You read books about starting a business all day.

Please tell me this a joke.

This seems to be the modern college graduates attitude to life. "I've read the books so now I know everything."

 

[jfny]

Dude. You don't have a job, an income source, or a business you're starting. All you do is read books about business.

You want me to be honest... The lifestyle you live is that of a wantpreneur.

Stop looking for excuses on why you can't start a business. Look for reasons why you can start a business.



You don't have a job, an income, or a business you're starting. Please stop bashing people that actually want to start a business and make money. Starting any business is better than reading about starting a business.




His income is technically more than you? Dude you don't have any income. He makes more than you.

He sounds more motivated. He works 60 hour weeks and is looking at starting a business.

You?

You read books about starting a business all day.

Please tell me this a joke.

Are you joking right now? I don't have a job because I was in school. I will have a job (a pretty good one at that) within the coming weeks as a software engineer. He works 60 hours a week at $14 an hour. I was working full time at $28 an hour at 18 years old. He hangs it up once he clocks out and goes to watch TV. I'm going to keep educating myself even after I punch out of work rather than live like a sheep. I don't have any income? No, I don't have a job.* Yes I do still have income. One top of that, once I land a job in the coming weeks, my income will be a multiple of his. "He is looking at starting a business." - So am I? And not a landscaping business at that. "Starting any business is better than reading about starting a business" - I actually have started a business before as well, but closed up shop after some time. I'm seriously questioning if you're just trolling me right now. I think you misread this whole thread.

 

[jfny]

This seems to be the modern college graduates attitude to life. "I've read the books so now I know everything."

I never said I know everything. Wouldn't you agree that a person who spends their time reading books about business, and reading forums such as this might know more about business than a person that has LITERALLY, never read a business book in their life? While also refusing to participate in just about anything business related aside from the time he tried to pitch me some half assed idea about a landscaping company?

 

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[mrarcher]

I never said I know everything. Wouldn't you agree that a person who spends their time reading books about business, and reading forums such as this might know more about business than a person that has LITERALLY, never read a business book in their life? While also refusing to participate in just about anything business related aside from the time he tried to pitch me some half assed idea about a landscaping company?

Nope. There are plenty of people who haven't read business books that go on to have successful businesses. The best way to learn by doing. The books are just guidelines and vague ones at that. I think you have to take the time to sort yourself out as opposed to annoying your mate.

 

[jfny]

Nope. There are plenty of people who haven't read business books that go on to have successful businesses. The best way to learn by doing. The books are just guidelines and vague ones at that. I think you have to take the time to sort yourself out as opposed to annoying your mate.

He annoys me by telling me he's all down for making money and doing nothing to back it. Based off of these responses I pretty much know what I'm going to do which is simply do it by myself, and wait for him to come crying once he sees me making money.

 

[cutthroughstatic]

Lol.

One of the wealthiest people I know owns a landscaping company.

Think less "mowing lawns" and more "hiring landscape architects to design 1/2 million dollar projects, using your own guys to do the work, and being the "go to guy" in a 3 state area"

Ditto on this. It's closed minded to think that the only path to "fastlane" is internet business. Landscaping business can be super profitable or just provide a nice living. Why not let him focus on his own path? Everyone can't own a software/internet company.

If you're hell bent on making him start an internet company, go out and be successful on your own. If you think he's ignoring what you're telling him, he won't be able to ignore you if you can show him massive amounts of action/success

 

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[rollerskates]

Your problem isn't that your friend is fired up to be a fast lane guy but just needs your direction, your problem is that you give way more shits about your friend's life than he does. Take it from me, you can spend years being invested in your friends' happiness and success and in the end be left with nothing. Take care of you first. Your job, your health, your relationships. If your friend isn't a go getter at 21, who cares? In 20 years, you will wonder why you cared more about his life than he did and why you spent time on him that should have been spent on you.

He doesn't even sound like he wants a business and said landscaping because it was the first thing he thought of.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Dude sounds like a hard worker. Unfortunately he will need to be a "hard worker" for the rest of his life due to his know-it-all attitude and his refusal to learn anything new.

So with that said...

Him: "F*ck that... I'm not reading that stupid a** book."

Me: F*ck that, I'm not giving advice to a stupid a** drone.

 

[CareCPA]

[...]
I know there is money to be made landscaping. I actually know a guy that owns his own landscaping company too. I just don't know if I would consider it the best option. Would you rather be a landscaper or an internet entrepreneur?
[...]

I'd rather fill a need while looking for an opportunity to fill a bigger need.
You need to get out of the mentality that manual labor is beneath you. Being an "internet entrepreneur" isn't just sitting at home clicking a couple buttons. I know people who have had online businesses for years, put in grueling hours and effort, and are successful by most definitions of the word, but aren't exactly swimming Scrooge McDuck style through their vaults.

 

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[garyjsmith]

I understand trying to help friends. I've tried to pull two of them with me and both wouldn't budge, even on tremendous ideas.

Listen to this @ 4:28

View: https://youtu.be/ohqwBaFy1CI?t=4m28s

 

[Waspy]

The fastlane isn't for everyone. And it shouldn't be for everyone.

To some, the slowlane is "the light".

 

[Tanisha]

Hey Fastlane!

So here's the deal. I have this friend. We've been best friends the majority of our lives. I see the light, and I have tried numerous times to get him to see the light too, but nothing I say or do seems to get through to him. I think you all know where this is going. You've heard it before. Additionally, I am aware of the types of responses this will likely receive. Responses such as "you can bring him to the water, but you can't force him to drink it." or "If he's truly unwilling to put in the effort, maybe you should stop wasting your time and pursue a business venture with someone who is more willing." I am well aware of all of this. However, my purpose for this thread is a little different. My intentions are to take the responses of this thread, and show it to him, to make him read it, and for him to see that it's not just me saying these things, but successful people from all avenues agreeing on these principals as they truly are "the way".

Chances are, this thread and the value it provides at the end will be useful to way more people than just myself, as we all know people like this.

Now before we get started, I would like to give you guys a little background.

My friend, along with myself are both 21. I recently finished school for computer science. I am currently unemployed but am in the process of applying for jobs, which once landed will give me the spare cash needed to pursue an entrepreneurial venture. He was attending college but decided to drop out. He currently works two slow lane jobs. Job #1: he works 40 hrs/week @ $14 per hour, M-F. Then once he leaves, he clocks in at his second job as a server at a local restaurant. All in all, he works over 60 hours per week, usually every day, and by the time he gets home, he is usually too tired to do much else for the day. His favorite activity for when he is not at work, or at some form of social gathering, is to sit back, watch TV, maybe play some video games, and just take it easy. Although I am not perfect myself, usually, when I have free time, you will find me buried in a book, or scouring the internet teaching myself new skills that I will have ready to implement once I have a good job and some spare cash to play around with, which will be within a few weeks. While technically his income at the moment is more than mine, I would ask you guys, based off of this information, who do you think is more motivated? Who do you think wants it more?

Trying to escape:
The lifestyle he's been living lately is a textbook example of the slow lane. I have tried pointing out to him the fact that he is slaving away his days, and that this is hardly the lifestyle he should be aspiring to live. On the plus side, he does agree that working 60 hours a week is not the way to go. He agrees that the quality of his life would greatly improve if somehow he could make the same, or more money, while working less, being his own boss, and not having to wake up at 5-am each morning. I have on countless occasions tried to lay out a game plan. Neither of us exactly has a lot of spare money to play around with right now. As far as achieving an ultimate goal of financial independence, I believe it is best-accomplished step by step. Although I may not have an abundance of money to play around with right now, I do have enough. We both have enough actually, to where we could pursue something small, make a little bit of extra money and reinvest that money in a slightly bigger project the next time around, and let it snowball. We can use something small as a stepping stone essentially. I've tried getting him to collude with me on bringing a small idea to life to be used as a stepping stone. The problem is, his mentality of what that stepping stone should be is completely off, in my opinion. Although there is no way to guarantee what will work and won't when it comes to business, I have presented countless different ideas. Here is a simple summarized idea for a stepping stone that I have shared with him. An e-commerce website. We can find a product with a decent demand that isn't too saturated. We can contact the manufacturers of such a product, try to work out a wholesale or drop shipping arrangement. Create a website. Run some advertising campaigns. Optimize our strategy from there once enough data is gathered to try to get an optimal return on investment and scale up from there by increasing our advertising budget, working out better deals with our suppliers, etc. This is basically just the run down version of only one of my ideas, but you get the gist of it. He does not like this idea at all. I am an open minded individual. If what you're saying actually holds some ground, I will listen. I am open to anything. That being said, with him bashing such an idea, I have asked him to come up with a better alternative. The alternative that he is stuck on might you ask? A landscaping business. As if there wasn't enough slow lane ideology for you in this thread already.

Some of the drawbacks I have pointed out to him regarding a landscaping business:

- Up front capital required: Trucks, Trailers, Lawnmowers, Weed Whackers, Safety Equipment, etc.

- Scalability: How many lawns can you possibly mow in one day?

- Customer Acquisition: Is knocking on doors asking if they would like their lawn mowed the best we can come up with?

- Time consumption: We're trying to escape working 8 hour days, not double down on it.

Some pros I have pointed out to him regarding e-commerce (although I am aware e-commerce has cons too):

- Up front capital: The monthly hosting cost for a website is usually extremely cheap. With my computer science background, I can build a website from scratch in a single day (or a rough draft at least). Also, there are very well designed templates that can be acquired for roughly $100. Also, an e-commerce website would likely get you your money back faster as the initial investment required is lower.

- Adaptability: We build a website. That product doesn't sell. We scrap the website. Redesign it for another product, try again with round two.

- Time commitment: (Although until it is fully optimized, an e-commerce website can eat away hours each day too) It generally speaking will require much less time than running a landscaping business.

Now here is probably the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal for me. Here is an actual conversation that took place last night:

Me: Why would I start a landscaping business when I can start an internet business?
Him: Why would I start an internet business when I can start a landscaping business?
Me: *Laid out the pros and cons above*
Him: *In one ear and out the other*
Me: "You know what you should do? Read 'The Millionaire Fastlane' as it's a great book and it will change your whole mentality. If you would just read the book you would understand why a landscaping or slow lane business model is not ideal. I read the whole book in a day. You can be done with it before you know it and you will see things with much more clarity. Once you read that book, please come back to me, and tell me with a straight face that you think a landscaping business is going to solve all of your problems."
Him: "F*ck that... I'm not reading that stupid a** book."

Over the last year or so I have mentioned reading the book to him countless times. He refuses. He doesn't read books because apparently, he has it all figured out.

I have no problem pursuing a venture on my own, but wouldn't mind taking my friends a long for the ride. However, there is only so much I can try to snap him out of it. Before I take that step I would like this to be a last ditch effort to snap him, and also a few other friends, out of this mentality. As I am not a multi millionaire entrepreneur (yet ) apparently what I say holds no weight. Therefore, I would like to take it to the people of The Fastlane Forum. If you could say something to this friend to try and bring him to the light, what would you tell him? (I plan on showing him these responses afterward.)

Thanks for your input! and I apologize for the length.

sweety, your 21, right now your all talk no action, your friends at least trying it doesnt matter if your gonna make more if you never get started you'll never make nothing of your life, trust me i've had the same personality as you have and it wont get you far if you never put any action behind your words, you can justify yourself saying i will i will i will, well i will doesnt give you money, theres a saying "mind your own business" dont try to change others let them be and they'll let you be, seems more like your trying to drag your friend down to your level of lack of work ethic which would be ashame

 

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[jfny]

Ditto on this. It's closed minded to think that the only path to "fastlane" is internet business. Landscaping business can be super profitable or just provide a nice living. Why not let him focus on his own path? Everyone can't own a software/internet company.

If you're hell bent on making him start an internet company, go out and be successful on your own. If you think he's ignoring what you're telling him, he won't be able to ignore you if you can show him massive amounts of action/success

I did not state that I thought the internet was the only path to a fastlane business. Only mentioned I thought it was a better option than landscaping.

Your problem isn't that your friend is fired up to be a fast lane guy but just needs your direction, your problem is that you give way more shits about your friend's life than he does. Take it from me, you can spend years being invested in your friends' happiness and success and in the end be left with nothing. Take care of you first. Your job, your health, your relationships. If your friend isn't a go getter at 21, who cares? In 20 years, you will wonder why you cared more about his life than he did and why you spent time on him that should have been spent on you.

He doesn't even sound like he wants a business and said landscaping because it was the first thing he thought of.

You're right. I'm ready to go at it alone. I wanted to show him some of these responses and see if he would take anyone elses word for it since he wont take mine. But as I've already sent him a few and he didn't seem to care, I think I have my answer. I'm going to do it myself, maybe one day when he wakes up he can come to me rather than me coming to him.

Dude sounds like a hard worker. Unfortunately he will need to be a "hard worker" for the rest of his life due to his know-it-all attitude and his refusal to learn anything new.

So with that said...



Me: F*ck that, I'm not giving advice to a stupid a** drone.

That's what I've tried telling him but he doesn't want to listen. I actually showed him this response too because I thought it was hilarious. Oh well though. I'm ready to go at it alone. But btw, I have recommended the book to others before, who have loved it. Currently reading UNSCRIPTED right now myself.

I'd rather fill a need while looking for an opportunity to fill a bigger need.
You need to get out of the mentality that manual labor is beneath you. Being an "internet entrepreneur" isn't just sitting at home clicking a couple buttons. I know people who have had online businesses for years, put in grueling hours and effort, and are successful by most definitions of the word, but aren't exactly swimming Scrooge McDuck style through their vaults.

I did say "- Time commitment: (Although until it is fully optimized, an e-commerce website can eat away hours each day too) It generally speaking will require much less time than running a landscaping business." So I was already aware of this.

The fastlane isn't for everyone. And it shouldn't be for everyone.

To some, the slowlane is "the light".

I've noticed that most of the people in my day to day life don't have a hope. They just don't care. I was hoping he wouldn't be one of those people. The way its looking right now is that he is one of those people, and I can't keep wasting my time trying to snap him out of it. I will pursue it myself, and maybe one day if I'm lucky he'll begin to wake up.

I understand trying to help friends. I've tried to pull two of them with me and both wouldn't budge, even on tremendous ideas.

Listen to this @ 4:28

View: https://youtu.be/ohqwBaFy1CI?t=4m28s

Yeah I realize it's of little hope and it's probably best for me to just go at it alone. Snoop Dogg was speaking the truth though. He had a great way of putting it.

sweety, your 21, right now your all talk no action, your friends at least trying it doesnt matter if your gonna make more if you never get started you'll never make nothing of your life, trust me i've had the same personality as you have and it wont get you far if you never put any action behind your words, you can justify yourself saying i will i will i will, well i will doesnt give you money, theres a saying "mind your own business" dont try to change others let them be and they'll let you be, seems more like your trying to drag your friend down to your level of lack of work ethic which would be ashame

I'm "all talk and no action?" "My friend is at least trying it?" Did you read the post? My friend is trying what exactly? To get a new high score in a video game? "Not putting action behind my words?" I was talking about me being ready to put action behind my words and giving my friend one last chance to snap out of it before I go at it alone. "Drag my friend down to my lack of work ethic which would be a shame?" Ironic, because he works 60 hours a week, yet I still put in more work than him. I'd bet I likely put in more work than you too.

 

[Tanisha]

I'm "all talk and no action?" "My friend is at least trying it?" Did you read the post? My friend is trying what exactly? To get a new high score in a video game? "Not putting action behind my words?" I was talking about me being ready to put action behind my words and giving my friend one last chance to snap out of it before I go at it alone. "Drag my friend down to my lack of work ethic which would be a shame?" Ironic, because he works 60 hours a week, yet I still put in more work than him. I'd bet I likely put in more work than you too.

sweety your 21 you dont understand your a wimpy baby

 

[Thoelt53]

sweety your 21 you dont understand your a wimpy baby

No need to start hurling insults.

 

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[Iammelissamoore]

I had a conversation with my cousin 4 years ago regarding same, and I was asking her if she didn't want more in life? She had a job at an insurance company, was studying for her degree, married and has a young son, who, at the time was 7yrs old. She was contented, and for the life of me, I couldn't possibly understand how she was so comfortable with so much to juggle.

The other day, she contacted me, telling me how frustrated she is with her life and that she felt as if time just slipped by, she missed out on her son's 'child' years and she has nothing to show for all the time gone by, and even went on to remind me of when I had that whole conversation with her 4 years ago, she told me she now understands what I was speaking about then and that she wants to change things.

I was once like you, when I win, I want everyone to win too, friends, family, everyone, but, there comes a time when you recognise that this journey is a one-man journey, sometimes all the friends and family just have to be left alone because, the same way that I would have 'come to the light' organically, they have to experience same organically. Needless to say, I had my own piece of work to do on myself too, Unscripted was the head butt I needed too, so, I overstood that in life, every great action begins with a yearning for betterment.

My brother is living the rat race full-time, he complains a lot about it and admits he is tired of being broke, but what exactly is he doing about it? Nothing. I spoke to him about building business with me, while he keeps his job, even told him I'll lay all the groundwork, bought TMF for him, it practically sat and became a dust collector, even after I showed him reviews and spoke about how great a book it is. Now, when my brother speaks about how tired he is with the rat race, I don't sweat him, because I've learnt that he has to want that change bad enough that he reaches out to pursue it too.

So, here I am quietly grinding and literally minding my business in my personal life, because while it is ideal for everyone to come to their senses organically, what is even more empowering is when YOU become the Example they can now have as proof and drive to follow in similar steps, until then, you may feel as if you are fighting a losing battle and, you can show him as much responses from us, if he is comfortable where he is in life right now, he isn't going to be ready to budge.

 

[ZF Lee]

This seems to be the modern college graduates attitude to life. "I've read the books so now I know everything."

Why do you think most people are in college then?!

'I'll know everything, so I'll earn big bucks because everyone will have to give me a job!"
No different from typical money chasing.

SCRIPT learning in motion.