Trying to get in the fastlane while my wife rides the slowlane

[bukavu]

Money talks, bullshit walks.

Always. I love this quote, I use to have facebook contacts who would say very nice words when their lives are not even slow lanes, kind of NO LANES as PatrickC said here.
I deleted that account, having 5000 useless "friends".

I'm thinking of buying the book (I'm in the UK) because I hear alot of good reviews here, hopefully soon before I go back to my third world country.

 

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[andyredsox]

Try to talk to her and let her understand fully what your plans are. You should not give up easily on that. Let her understand all the benefits she can get when you continue with that plan. Try hard to get her support. Do whatever it takes, so that she can understand you.

 

[CEBenz]

In my own case, I've pretty much decided I'm no longer going to date someone who isn't, at least, supportive. Ideally, she will have the same views about money that I do.

 

[yahdmon]

This is so honest it is scary. Your battle is half won. Now you just need the wisdom needed to help her to see what you see and the strength to get onboard with your vision.

LOL. I am not in the fastlane but did get a job 4 years ago that made way more money and I gave my wife the option to stay home and take care of the kids. She wasn't so sure at first but now my running joke is I don't think I will ever get her to go back to work. She loves doing her own thing even though she is a very talented interior designer.

She is not interested in being wealthy but me making enough money for her to not work (outside the home).

I am sort of in a similar boat.

I call my day job my right side because it is what most of us start out using, and my business venture my left side.

Right now my right side is prospering (wonderfully too) and my left side is dragging a$$ along... how I have gotten my mate to see my desire for wealth is by telling how it will benefit us. One way I did that was by reiterating over and over and over how I want my time back so I can spend more time with her and how I hate to leave her in the mornings. I kept saying that over and over and over and now she is on board.

Today, she wants my left side to prosper so that I can have more time with her... she has verbalized my motivation and I am sure she has her own unspoken reasons too. Well, that is my. Try that for a few weeks and see if that works for you too... you must mean it though.

If that does not work then you need something that works; in our house, the theme is to get our days back. All the best.

 

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[Nadia]

I dated drones in my late teens, even up to early 20's.

One guy, an lawyer ex of mine, a workaholic---made me feel SO BAD for not holding down a proper job and being a slave to someone else. At 21, it was hard because I genuinely loved him and didn't realise it was emotional abuse.

You cannot pull someone into the Fastlane Mindset, however you keep doing what you are doing and someone smart enough will take interest. My boyfriend works for someone else and before he met me, he said it wasn't even an option to work for someone else. It was like a one day situation. But after meeting me, and seeing me run my business, the cogs in his head started turning.

I don't discuss flat out business with him as I would here, as he isn't of that mentality it and I don't know if he ever will be, so I learned to appreciate him as he is AS LONG as he supports me wholeheartedly, that he can be asleep at 3 am and I am awake, planning my client calls for the next morning. He sometimes thinks I work like a maniac (only SL people think this), and yet I am never the one waking up to an alarm...

The hardest bit is having a partner not support you. It is OKAY if they don't run the same course as you but no support ?

Nada.

 

[Harley]

Good thread - I struggled with this for years and about 3 years ago seriously considered getting divorced. went as far as down payments on a condo etc.
My wife has always been supportive but never shared the dream and like others, I have felt she is secretly thinking "yeah right, how many years have I heard this, dream on" - Despite seeing me improve year on year, financially and in every other aspect of life.
What got me to thinking divorce was a Tony Robbins audio book where he discussed having a partner who wanted the same things in life and how if that was not the case, then maybe best to move on to someone who did, however hard. Apparently this was his personal experience too.
Then the more I researched success etc. the more I kept hearing that only 5% of the population ever reach financial success and this resonated with me, as most of my friends and colleagues, like my wife, spend their spare time playing silly IPAD games, sports, Facebook, reality TV etc etc. And just never get it. They think all successful people either inherited it, won the lottery, or are just plain lucky.
So, I guess unless we are super lucky in finding that like minded person, we have to be grateful to at least have someone to support us and let us spend evenings weekends, etc researching, reading, or doing whatever we need to succeed.
I too have tried many times to get her involved and have her read at least one of the motivational books that I have found of most value. But, she sits there playing some silly bubble game and never takes up the challenge - Sigh! We can only try.

 

[Vigilante]

a little recap of whats going on with me, I have heating and cooling franchise that I consider to be a slowlane venture. I am putting alot of time and effort into this venture, and its been a struggle to profit from. Its a job that barely pays, I want to move into the fast lane. I am in too deep with this business and feel I have to continue in order to dig myself out.

I want to start something on the side so that I can someday get rid of my heating business. I have been doing it 3 years and beside doing 400K in yearly sales, I am the last to get paid. Royality fees are not killing me, but they are not helping either

I've have learned alot since buying a franchise, but I wouldn't do it again.

I am constantly trying to educate myself through books and online research to better myself so that I can find something I can eventually turn my focus too

I try to share with my wife the vision I have for our future, passive income, free to live anywhere, debt free, and free from the 9-5.


She doesn't have the entrepreneur mindset. She has no desire to achieve anything higher than her current job, I on the other hand want a life that none of my family or friends have ever thought of, I have trained my mind to believe anything is possible, I want what most of us on this forum want

We don't always see things the same way, she says I am a dreamer. why can't I be happy with what we have. she says.

We have the typical middle class life. 2 cars, nice house, stuff, food on the table, and of course the debt.


She enjoys the comfort of a secure income from a job. I can't talk to her about the ideas I have in my mind, she humours me but doesn't show the support I wish she did.

I talked about giving up my heating business and she asked me where I was going to go to work, not fully understanding that I wouldn't go back to being an employee unless it was temporary. She doesn't understand how I have changed and wont go back


I am trying to get into the fast lane alone.


Anyone in the same car alone? how do you handle it.

OP is long since gone. I imagine we know what his fate likely was.

 

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[Vigilante]

Yup, I can relate to this, alright. My husband is wonderful, funny, interesting, etc., but I can see his eyes glaze over when I start talking about passive income or my current wealth-generation idea. But to be fair, I probably give him the same look when he talks about elk-hunting.

All I can say is, "Thank goodness for this forum!"

@ChickenHawk did this change?

 

[Vick]

a little recap of whats going on with me, I have heating and cooling franchise that I consider to be a slowlane venture. I am putting alot of time and effort into this venture, and its been a struggle to profit from. Its a job that barely pays, I want to move into the fast lane. I am in too deep with this business and feel I have to continue in order to dig myself out.

I want to start something on the side so that I can someday get rid of my heating business. I have been doing it 3 years and beside doing 400K in yearly sales, I am the last to get paid. Royality fees are not killing me, but they are not helping either

I've have learned alot since buying a franchise, but I wouldn't do it again.

I am constantly trying to educate myself through books and online research to better myself so that I can find something I can eventually turn my focus too

I try to share with my wife the vision I have for our future, passive income, free to live anywhere, debt free, and free from the 9-5.


She doesn't have the entrepreneur mindset. She has no desire to achieve anything higher than her current job, I on the other hand want a life that none of my family or friends have ever thought of, I have trained my mind to believe anything is possible, I want what most of us on this forum want

We don't always see things the same way, she says I am a dreamer. why can't I be happy with what we have. she says.

We have the typical middle class life. 2 cars, nice house, stuff, food on the table, and of course the debt.


She enjoys the comfort of a secure income from a job. I can't talk to her about the ideas I have in my mind, she humours me but doesn't show the support I wish she did.

I talked about giving up my heating business and she asked me where I was going to go to work, not fully understanding that I wouldn't go back to being an employee unless it was temporary. She doesn't understand how I have changed and wont go back


I am trying to get into the fast lane alone.


Anyone in the same car alone? how do you handle it.

my wife use to think this way as well.

it takes time for her to change.

you need to show by example, that u can make something (on your own) from nothing, and sell it.

after that, she'll see the light.

but you need to show her. not just tell her about it.

after my first online business (that was a failure) she completely believed in me after that, even though it was a failure, I proved I could make something and sell it.

I showed her that it was possible to make something from basically nothing.

otherwise it's just a dream to them.

 

[Vick]

OP is long since gone. I imagine we know what his fate likely was.

lol, well, i just wasted 5 min

 

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[ChickenHawk]

Yup, I can relate to this, alright. My husband is wonderful, funny, interesting, etc., but I can see his eyes glaze over when I start talking about passive income or my current wealth-generation idea. But to be fair, I probably give him the same look when he talks about elk-hunting.
All I can say is, "Thank goodness for this forum!"

@ChickenHawk did this change?

Ah, a most-excellent question...Oh yeah. Definitely! He shows quite a bit of interest in my projects these days. In fact, the difference is pretty stark. It's not that he was technically unsupportive before, but his interest level was mildly polite at best. These days, he'll gladly help me solve a tricky plot issue, do whatever to free up more writing time for me, and just be a great cheerleader along the way. It's amazing what a little success can do!

But all that aside, he will never have the Fastlane mindset for himself, meaning that if I fell off the face of the Earth tomorrow, he would never pursue a fastlane path for himself personally. For whatever reason, he's just not wired that way. And maybe that's a good thing. He's warm and funny and a lot more relaxed than I'm ever capable of being. Probably, the balance is good for our family, because I tend toward the workaholic side. (He does work very hard. He's an electrical contractor and spends lots of time in hot attics, dirty crawlspaces, etc. But as far as that real entrepreneurial passion, that's just not him.)

Thinking out loud, maybe a Fastlaner/Slowlaner blend isn't all a bad thing, as long as the Slowlaner doesn't actually stop you from pursuing your ideas. Definitely food for thought...