The "Choice" of who to hang with..

[MitchM]

As others have said it definitely depends on who you are as an individual. By the way, I don't think that it is necessarily the jobs and ideologies of the people that you hang out with that matters - I differ with all of my friends on this front. What matters is whether or not you are surrounded by people who are narcissistic, apathetic, and negative. These are the general things that I avoid in people.

If you surround yourself with people who are giving, driven, and positive, as I have done, you will see that your relationships can elevate and sustain you through your journey.

As someone with a family that has fit the former category (and is thankfully coming out of it), I can tell you that those mindsets and emotions can wear at you and act as a black hole.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

My opinion is.. it depends where you are in life, and the kind of person you are.

I agree with this. And your age. When you're younger, you're more easily influenced by peers. When your my age, or even older such as @SteveO, what other people do, or how they live their lives is less important as you learn to find the common ground.

However the common ground has limits...

I'm not going to hang out with victims, whiners, and the "pay your fair share" types -- if I want to hear about manufactured injustices, all you need to do is turn on the TV. There's a reason I watch very little TV, and if hanging out with someone is like watching an hour of CNN, cya later.

The bottomline is, is this person fun? Trustworthy? And are they generally supportive of you? If so, their career or net worth is irrelevant.

 

[MoreVolume]

What better reason is
And... I hate to say this but perhaps you were giving out vibes that you were "prey". Toughen up!

i guess i should've been armed like the terminator just in case his car broke down at night in an area of town where crime is common

We all have special behavior we prefer on people and that might change over time when we make new experiences. I understand that you don`t want to hang out with him any more because you don`t see any sense in his behavior of beeing lazy or let´s say not beeing able to get important things done because you are in bussiness which implies that you are responsible - otherwise you wouldn`t be in bussiness for too long...

its not even the laziness because i rarely rely on him for things
its just that now that im making real progress, im realizing that being around him is just a waste of time
with some friends, i gain knowledge and fresh perspectives
with this guy i just lose...time, money, patience, etc. its just better not to have those type of people around

 

[SteveO]

I agree with this. And your age. When you're younger, you're more easily influenced by peers. When your my age, or even older such as @SteveO, what other people do, or how they live their lives is less important as you learn to find the common ground.

Yep... But, the youngsters that have the gumption to move/see past this will have an easier path. If you are hanging with people that are just getting loaded and playing video games and you don't want to do that, then it is time to move on to something different.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SteveO]

I have personally found that I gravitate toward those that are more like-minded philosophically.

So.... You hang out with people that like to stir the pot, raise a ruckus, and then laugh at everyone making fools of themselves?

 

[Christopher777]

So many people feel that you need to hang out with people that support your business or entrepreneurship direction. I have disagreed with the statement that you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most.

To be accurate, I think it means, you BECOME the average of the five people you hang out the most with. It was classic self-help wisdom that was intended to make people search for better associations IF the ones they currently have are limiting them.

In this picture is a police officer, massage therapist, doctor, mid-level sales manager, real estate investor, and professional sports team owner. The other half of the team that is not pictured consisted of a librarian, long term Honeywell employee, real estate agent, teacher, housewife, and engineer.

It is obvious what united us as friends and acquaintances. We hung out on a regular basis as part of a running club. We would meet up 3-5 times a week and train together.

Why would I ever consider dumping them as friends? We have something in common that we enjoy.

Exactly. Why would you. They have a positive impact on you and they look like excellent people to be with. You all have the same vibe. And the concept still stands.

Personally, I think it comes down to your current situation, location and goals at the moment. These things change all the time, except of course priority goals. These things affect who we associate with. I guess it's more about being deliberate and strict because everywhere you turn, you can be potentially influenced.

And one last thing, snapshots of reality doesn't contain the whole context of relationships. All sorts of stuff happen in there. One moment, everything's ok. The next, a totally new issue comes up. Life is a movie. A continuous sequence of events. And after all the fun and games, we all go back to hustling. That's why you had a hard time seeing their fun sides.

I believe the concept emphasizes that if you associate OFTEN with people MORE successful than you, then the dynamic will affect you in subtle ways that will eventually culminate in you performing on the same level as them.

That doesn't explicitly mean that you have to ditch your real and true friends right?

 

[SteveO]

That doesn't explicitly mean that you have to ditch your real and true friends right?

I do believe that is implied.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Christopher777]

I do believe that is implied.

Well, just like you, I won't. It might just mean that i'll be busier and have less time for them.

 

[GlobalWealth]

So.... You hang out with people that like to stir the pot, raise a ruckus, and then laugh at everyone making fools of themselves?

More or less...

Sent from my VTR-L29 using Tapatalk

 

[GlobalWealth]

So.... You hang out with people that like to stir the pot, raise a ruckus, and then laugh at everyone making fools of themselves?

I actually just had a conversation with a friend this morning over breakfast about this topic.

I believe most people tend to stick to their routine and thus their 5 friend list happens by default.

Like it or not we all tend to "blend" with those we most closely associate with.

We will likely either become complacent if our friends are at a lower socio-economic status, or we will rise to their levels.

We will also tend to share and develop similar habits and hobbies and likely mindset.

Alternatively we can take a proactive role in shaping our lives by actively seeking out people we admire and wish to emulate.

This requires stepping out of your comfort zone. It can mean starting a new hobby or attending conferences.

Maybe learning a new language or moving to a new city, state or country.

Regardless we tend to be the average of those we spend the most time with either by default or by actively seeking growth.


Sent from my VTR-L29 using Tapatalk

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SteveO]

This old post just popped up on my radar. More relevant to me now than ever.

 

[ShamanKing]

Most people don’t want advice. They are looking for you to support them to get a little high hence make them feel better for themselves. Usually The right advice will be against their way of thinking, so I just let them know what I would do in their situation.

 

[SteveO]

Most people don’t want advice. They are looking for you to support them to get a little high hence make them feel better for themselves. Usually The right advice will be against their way of thinking, so I just let them know what I would do in their situation.

Are you talking about a situation where someone asks for advice? If so, I agree with you.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ShamanKing]

Are you talking about a situation where someone asks for advice? If so, I agree with you.

Yes

 

[Kevin88660]

My opinion is to be people who are relevant and useful to your goals. Basically people who can stay together for a long period of time usually provide some form of tangible and intangible benefits to one another.

I have to entertain jobless spoilt brats who drive a Porsche because his father is rich. If he calls me at 12pm to tell me why his life sucks I have to listen empathetically and agree for the next hour. I am in sales so too bad.

Again for example if you run a business you look for a partner with complementary skill sets. You do not discount him or her simply because he is weak in an area you are strong in and you worried about getting dragged down.

Again there is area where the logic applies that you will be the average of people you hang out with. If you want to lose weight and learn a sport you should meet up with people who have similar interest.