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There is a scene in the movie ”Anger Management” where Dave is asked a simple question: “tell us, who are you?”
As you can see it evolved quickly into a comical moment where Dave flipped out. Clearly it’s not a simple question!
That question is the most important one for every one of us to answer as we travel our paths through business.
In fact, I’ll tell you now, some of you reading this aren’t being honest with yourselves. And it is holding you back. And it is a source of a lot of conflict in your life, including on this forum.
The answer to this question is never some epiphany, it’s a long arduous process of self discovery through your actions. Watching your own results, reflecting - you get a glimpse at who you are. Leaning into it will help you become more successful.
Members of the FLF miscommunicate often. Often because we are at different stages and can’t understand each other. A person in a Survival mode want answers on how to make enough to pay rent. Those who‘ve made a few things work and are now buying Lambos are chasing status, they want the world to see that all those struggles paid off. But typically if they continue, they hit their exit number and achieve freedom. I think a good example is the 8-figure duo: @fastlane_dad and @NeoDialectic. They had their status while still in business, once they sold it, most of their stories here are now about freedom. And then there are people like @MTF who values freedom above all else, including status, actively avoiding showing off his status. To him it’s about being able to enjoy life of travel, activities etc. Then there is the man himself @MJ DeMarco who clearly travelled through to the Purpose, the main reason we are here: his books. You don’t write books like that for any other reason, it’s too much work.
If you are just starting out, it’s easy to get stars in your eyes. You’ve read the books, you come here and see a few threads with success stories and boom, you want it all, how can you not? But not everyone should be an entrepreneur. Not everyone is cut out to be one or should even try. Self-reflection can save you a lot of grief.
Those who read about MJ’s lambo, often (or most of the time) don’t see the struggle and stress that came before it.
What’s most important to you?
What if I asked you to choose between having a family (children) and having a lambo - which would you choose?
If you have kids, what is the amount of money it would take for you to skip your child’s play? You know that disappointed look in their eyes because you weren’t there and they wanted you to see?!
How many hours of work do you feel is reasonable to put in into your business per week and for how long? Are you prepared for the 18 hour long days, bitter disappointment of not landing what you hoped and starting “from scratch” again while your family watches you?
Who are you? Deep down, you know parts of the answer to that question. You could be like Elon musk or maybe freelance solopreneur is better suited for you… or maybe being an employee is the best choice. Steve Balmer was an employee… this should open your eyes to see that employees can get big rewards too! But only those who act like entrepreneurs inside their organizations.
So again, who are you? How does it align with what you want?
Are you lazy and risk averse but dreaming of making f-u money? That’s contradictory and you’ll need to either change what you want or change YOU.
Change is hard… most people talk about change but a) don’t look inwards to understand what needs changing and do nothing, b) may realize some superficial weaknesses but still sabotage any real change. Humans default to what is familiar, we repeat what we know or experienced in the past.
Rock bottom doesn’t happen on a whim. It’s a culmination of many (typically years) of poor choices that lead to “F*ck this, never again” event. This is where change is less painful than not changing at all. Honestly, this is where typically you see people finally let go of attachments to the past and are finally willing to change.
When I was a kid, I never thought of becoming a business owner. I thought a good job would be well… good. But the disfunctions within my family and fights over money left me convinced that I can’t be happy without money (generally false but was true to me). That association made me notice how the richest pepole we knew, those who didn’t seem to have money problems were all business people. Same family disfunction made it easy for me to leave the nest at 17. Most will struggle to leave the comfort of home! My “rock bottom” happened a few times in life, but different each time. I not only left home, I left the city and the country. I became fluent in English and moved continents. Never coming back…
One day working as a janitor at a hotel, I was reprimanded by my “manager” for taking home a roll. Rule was: if the roll is less than 1/3 full, you can throw it out and replace it, otherwise don’t. Apparently my eye judgement wasn’t same as my “manager”. It killed me inside … to live in a way where someone is judging me over a F*cking 1/3 roll of toiler paper! F*ck. Rock bottom. Never again.
I had to change myself. And I did…
Years later, when people look at our family and how we live, it’s easy to get the impression it was and is now all easy … it wasn’t and it isn’t. And here’s the kicker, Elon Musk is a billionaire yet It’s still hard for him. The stress is always there.
Is this the life for you?
Knowing yourself is a lifelong pursuit too. But without even trying, you could be hitting the wall and not knowing why you can’t succeed. People like @Black_Dragon43 are driven to the point of massive sacrifice, people like @MTF aren’t. It took me years to start realizing how our differences aren’t bad, they are good. To be happy we must align who we are with what we do. I can’t imagine the misery I’d feel if I ”retired” because I feel I was meant to run a company, to be part of making deals, creating teams and products. Yet I am not willing to sacrifice all family time, quite the opposite. I am unlikely to become an Elon because I am not willing to work the way he does, to make sacrifices the way he does. @Kak won‘t ever retire either, spending time on a beach with a fruity drink will bore him to death. He’ll drive hard fro as long as he’s moving to do bigger things. Yet he too won’t leave his family just for some dollar bills. He values that balance while the kids are young to teach kids all he knows. That’s part of Purpose.
So, dear reader, who are you? Have you thought about it?
As you can see it evolved quickly into a comical moment where Dave flipped out. Clearly it’s not a simple question!
That question is the most important one for every one of us to answer as we travel our paths through business.
In fact, I’ll tell you now, some of you reading this aren’t being honest with yourselves. And it is holding you back. And it is a source of a lot of conflict in your life, including on this forum.
The answer to this question is never some epiphany, it’s a long arduous process of self discovery through your actions. Watching your own results, reflecting - you get a glimpse at who you are. Leaning into it will help you become more successful.
Survival -> Status -> Freedom -> Purpose
Members of the FLF miscommunicate often. Often because we are at different stages and can’t understand each other. A person in a Survival mode want answers on how to make enough to pay rent. Those who‘ve made a few things work and are now buying Lambos are chasing status, they want the world to see that all those struggles paid off. But typically if they continue, they hit their exit number and achieve freedom. I think a good example is the 8-figure duo: @fastlane_dad and @NeoDialectic. They had their status while still in business, once they sold it, most of their stories here are now about freedom. And then there are people like @MTF who values freedom above all else, including status, actively avoiding showing off his status. To him it’s about being able to enjoy life of travel, activities etc. Then there is the man himself @MJ DeMarco who clearly travelled through to the Purpose, the main reason we are here: his books. You don’t write books like that for any other reason, it’s too much work.
Don’t judge people based on their outcome
If you are just starting out, it’s easy to get stars in your eyes. You’ve read the books, you come here and see a few threads with success stories and boom, you want it all, how can you not? But not everyone should be an entrepreneur. Not everyone is cut out to be one or should even try. Self-reflection can save you a lot of grief.
Those who read about MJ’s lambo, often (or most of the time) don’t see the struggle and stress that came before it.
What’s most important to you?
What if I asked you to choose between having a family (children) and having a lambo - which would you choose?
If you have kids, what is the amount of money it would take for you to skip your child’s play? You know that disappointed look in their eyes because you weren’t there and they wanted you to see?!
How many hours of work do you feel is reasonable to put in into your business per week and for how long? Are you prepared for the 18 hour long days, bitter disappointment of not landing what you hoped and starting “from scratch” again while your family watches you?
Who are you? Deep down, you know parts of the answer to that question. You could be like Elon musk or maybe freelance solopreneur is better suited for you… or maybe being an employee is the best choice. Steve Balmer was an employee… this should open your eyes to see that employees can get big rewards too! But only those who act like entrepreneurs inside their organizations.
So again, who are you? How does it align with what you want?
Are you lazy and risk averse but dreaming of making f-u money? That’s contradictory and you’ll need to either change what you want or change YOU.
Rock bottom (FTE)
Change is hard… most people talk about change but a) don’t look inwards to understand what needs changing and do nothing, b) may realize some superficial weaknesses but still sabotage any real change. Humans default to what is familiar, we repeat what we know or experienced in the past.
Rock bottom doesn’t happen on a whim. It’s a culmination of many (typically years) of poor choices that lead to “F*ck this, never again” event. This is where change is less painful than not changing at all. Honestly, this is where typically you see people finally let go of attachments to the past and are finally willing to change.
When I was a kid, I never thought of becoming a business owner. I thought a good job would be well… good. But the disfunctions within my family and fights over money left me convinced that I can’t be happy without money (generally false but was true to me). That association made me notice how the richest pepole we knew, those who didn’t seem to have money problems were all business people. Same family disfunction made it easy for me to leave the nest at 17. Most will struggle to leave the comfort of home! My “rock bottom” happened a few times in life, but different each time. I not only left home, I left the city and the country. I became fluent in English and moved continents. Never coming back…
One day working as a janitor at a hotel, I was reprimanded by my “manager” for taking home a roll. Rule was: if the roll is less than 1/3 full, you can throw it out and replace it, otherwise don’t. Apparently my eye judgement wasn’t same as my “manager”. It killed me inside … to live in a way where someone is judging me over a F*cking 1/3 roll of toiler paper! F*ck. Rock bottom. Never again.
I had to change myself. And I did…
Years later, when people look at our family and how we live, it’s easy to get the impression it was and is now all easy … it wasn’t and it isn’t. And here’s the kicker, Elon Musk is a billionaire yet It’s still hard for him. The stress is always there.
Is this the life for you?
Who are you?
Knowing yourself is a lifelong pursuit too. But without even trying, you could be hitting the wall and not knowing why you can’t succeed. People like @Black_Dragon43 are driven to the point of massive sacrifice, people like @MTF aren’t. It took me years to start realizing how our differences aren’t bad, they are good. To be happy we must align who we are with what we do. I can’t imagine the misery I’d feel if I ”retired” because I feel I was meant to run a company, to be part of making deals, creating teams and products. Yet I am not willing to sacrifice all family time, quite the opposite. I am unlikely to become an Elon because I am not willing to work the way he does, to make sacrifices the way he does. @Kak won‘t ever retire either, spending time on a beach with a fruity drink will bore him to death. He’ll drive hard fro as long as he’s moving to do bigger things. Yet he too won’t leave his family just for some dollar bills. He values that balance while the kids are young to teach kids all he knows. That’s part of Purpose.
So, dear reader, who are you? Have you thought about it?
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