Sorry, But MJ (or the forum) Can't Make Your Life Decisions For You!!

[MJ DeMarco]

Bump.

 

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[Chet Shen]

I really understand why people want MJ's opinions as he is literally the one who inspired us to start businesses and gave us wisdom ( lol, saying it like he's a god, maybe he is, maybe he's not, idk) but still cant expect him to make your big life decisions that could potentially change your WHOLE LIFE. Its your life, not MJ's life, think about what you want and what you need to accomplish, then make the decision, not just by asking some random stranger from the internet.

 

[Robdavis]

I think that some people see MJ as a bit of a "Jesus" figure. So they think that he knows the "right" things for them to do or who they should become.

I think of MJ as more of a "Buddha" figure.

As it states here:

The Buddha Did Not Teach Buddhism

www.buddhistinquiry.org

"The Buddha emphasized that he was not expounding an opinion but a Path, that is, a way of life, based on values and actions that lead to a holistic apperception, an experience, a realization."

and also:

"...the Buddha taught a path which some individuals may embrace, the more the merrier. But the path is walked by each individual based upon his or her own volition, his or her own Kamma, [ed: actions] his or her own collections of motives, strengths, weaknesses, wishes and fears. The path is chosen, and this activation of the sense of personal choice and intention is essential to its function as a guiding practice through the vicissitudes of life."



To my mind, MJ is like a Fastlane Buddha, our role as Fastlaners or potential Fastlaners is not to follow MJ but to try to walk the path (or drive it in Lambos) he indicates and to do it in a way that harmonizes with our character.

 

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[canadiangal]

Almost everyday ... and they are BIG decisions.

It is not fair to expect life decisions from you, but at least an opinion. The ultimate decision will come from the us, but the reason why one goes to an expert is to get an advice, an opinion, not a complete silence.
I haven't sent any private message, but I have posted a few times in here and expected to receive an opinion from you but you remained silent :-(.
I told myself that maybe it is because I don't have the 'I have read the book' mention yet, so I decided to order the book and am currently reading it, hoping to get an opinion from you; though the help and opinion of others have helped me tremendously.

 

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[hekks]

Personally, I think major life decisions should be made by the person taking them. That way, if things go wrong you can't blame someone else for your choice and if it turns out going right then you can be pleased that you chose a path and it turned out well.

Exactly! If you need advice from a stranger on a life decision, then you don't really understand major Fastlane concepts like CONTROL.

 

[Darkside]

This thread should be a sticky so that new members can see it at the top and not make the same mistake.

 

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[77startup]

MJ DeMarco,


When I first joined there was no "book" and it seemed like the majority of people had a leader personality which was great because there were so many great threads of people "executing" and gathering feed back on their well thought out ideas. After all to even find the forum you had to be motivated and serious enough to search it out.

However, since the book came out it's attracted a large amount of "Follower" types as well. Follower types who look for "inspiration" instead of looking for a "market".

Instead of looking at business as a non-stop fight involving attacking, defending,retreating and countering they view it as a test which contains questions that you have to answer correctly. Which is why MJ's opinion matters so deeply because he's already "passed the test".

I think trying to get them to "stop" would be a waste of time, instead I think it would be cool if you tried to monetize them.

 

[Likwid24]

I agree with you 100% MJ.

I have to admit it. I'm guilty of emailing you too after I read the book. It was for something so silly when I think about it now. It wasn't a question you should be answering for me. It was something I should have answered myself, which I did.

I could imagine what it's like having people messaging you for answers to such huge decisions in their life. Then if you did answer them and they failed or something went wrong in their life because of it, who knows how many lawsuits you might have against you or how much hate mail you would get.

It still might be good to post your big decision in this forum to get some feedback. You would probably get answers for and against your dilemma so you can see the positive and the negative and then make an educated decision based on the feedback.

 

[Talisman]

I find myself coming to these forums less. At first it's been interesting, but most of the posts are "help me with <stupid question #49871087>".. I even see that there's a Fastlane Fantasy Football thread.... WTF!

There are a few people that appear to be doing, but mostly it's people whose money I'll be taking in years to come, when I'm fastlane and they're still dreaming and wondering why it hasn't fallen into their hands.

Ah bah. </rant>

 

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[Anon3587x]

MJ should I use hair spray or gel?

 

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[^eagle^]

Its not necessarily the big decision that we make that makes the difference. Its the little decisions we make afterwards that make the difference.


Well anyway it sounds good. Something about chaos and the universe and how its all connected in there somewhere. LOL

 

[Jonleehacker]

The guys behind Freakonomics have put up a website designed to help people make decisions (and teach you a lot about decision making)

https://www.freakonomicsexperiments.com/home/experimental_design

The funny thing about decisions is they are like ideas, they mean a lot less than we think

 

[Dan Willis]

I'm starting to receive a lot of emails, and even messages on this forum that request advice on major, life-changing decisions ... as if, I hold some type of crystal ball that knows the right decision for your life, your family, and your happiness.

Do I quit my job?
Do I move across the country?
Do I build the website myself? Or outsource?
Do I risk going into business with Joe Blow or stay in school?
Do I do this?
Do I do that?

Folks, I don't know!

I can't make these decisions for you. Everyone is different and only you know you. Some people are dealmakers. Some are introverts. Some are networkers. Some are analytical geniuses.

And yet, please understand that every decision of major consequence in your life carries with it RISK. And yet, RISK is fundamental to the Fastlane because it is the ROAD LESS TRAVELED and often involves sacrifice, and hard-work beyond the "well-traveled" road.

You have to do what is right for YOU and what YOU think will make you happy. And guess what? For some folks, that just might be a Slowlane -- no worries -- life is about happiness and being resolute in your dreams and goals. Whatever path you take, understand that everything extraordinary in life often involved an extraordinary risk.

If you are having trouble making a big decision in your life, I suggest you use the WADM decision matrix that I have used so many times in my life.

Got a Tough Choice? HelpMyDecision.com Helps You Make Better Decisions!

I have been HAPPY in every decision this matrix solved for me.

So to sum it up, I don't know if you should quit college.
I don't know if you should quit your job.
I don't know if you should move to another country.
I don't know if you should quit that business and start another.
I don't know if you should piss-off your parents and do what they don't want.
I don't know if you should learn how to code, or just partner.

While I'm flattered that I am asked about such big decisions, my answers are automatically BIASED based on my life experience. This does not guarantee you will get a good answer based on what is best for YOU.

Take a deep breath, and ask yourself ... What is going to make me happy not just this week, but over the long term? Should you be blessed with another 40 years of life, is this the path you want to take?

In general, you should already know what my answer will be ... the Fastlane path. But again, that is ME.

I am not you.

You may possess other strengths, talents, and attributes that make the other answer, BETTER.

:smxB:

Good luck and happy decision-making!

This is exactly it! Where does the responsibility for your life fall? On you! Own it.

 

[Rawr]

Now what?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Bump. And retagging to GOLD. More people will read it.

 

[Deleted20245]

I guess this would be a really bad time to ask what I should eat for lunch...

According to Douglas Adams, this would be the most sophisticated question you could ask.

 

[Mr3Thirty5]

This is a great thread. What's life without risk? It may be scary but you gotta try it to know if it works or not. I've made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, but you know what? I don't blame anyone because I made those decisions. If I hadn't made those decisions on my own, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I ask a lot of questions, but those questions are used to help me make my decision, but never will I ask someone to decide for me. Lots of good influence on this forum.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Bump.

 

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[458]

lil wayne said it best; repetition, repetition, repetition

this forum can't provide you with any of that

 

[4x4ord]

The book Originals: How Non-conformists move the world by Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandberg would support your approach, Jon L. The book is all about successes that went against conventional wisdom.

I just finished this book and highly recommend it.

 

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[lowtek]

@JWN

Based on the things you say, I think you need a mindset shift before you will find real value in these forums.

 

[SquatchMan]

Anyhow, what are your thoughts? Good or bad, just be honest.

Since you asked. Pretty dumb in my opinion. You left your ship for 10 days to go to Aruba and smoke weed, talk to girls, go diving, and write a novel. Your price is a Less Than Honorable Discharge.

If I was an investor, then I wouldn't invest in you.
If I was looking for a business partner, then I wouldn't partner with you.

Will you quit when the going gets tough?

 

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[Olie Sins]

Since you asked. Pretty dumb in my opinion. You left your ship for 10 days to go to Aruba and smoke weed, talk to girls, go diving, and write a novel. Your price is a Less Than Honorable Discharge.

If I was an investor, then I wouldn't invest in you.
If I was looking for a business partner, then I wouldn't partner with you.

Will you quit when the going gets tough?

Since you asked. Pretty dumb in my opinion. You left your ship for 10 days to go to Aruba and smoke weed, talk to girls, go diving, and write a novel. Your price is a Less Than Honorable Discharge.

If I was an investor, then I wouldn't invest in you.
If I was looking for a business partner, then I wouldn't partner with you.

Will you quit when the going gets tough?

Since you asked. Pretty dumb in my opinion. You left your ship for 10 days to go to Aruba and smoke weed, talk to girls, go diving, and write a novel. Your price is a Less Than Honorable Discharge.

If I was an investor, then I wouldn't invest in you.
If I was looking for a business partner, then I wouldn't partner with you.

Will you quit when the going gets tough?

SquatchMan,

I appreciate your comment, I like the bluntness of it too. It's nice getting a perspective from someone outside of the military.

Not that it makes a difference, but I didn't go to Aruba for a vacation, though I get that it certainly seems that way. I could have gone anywhere, even hung around town when I left the ship, I just decided, if I'm going to hang around anyway, why not go to Aruba?

I smoked weed because that's a sure way to get kicked out, not because I enjoy doing it, though it was pleasant to smoke. I really never plan on ever smoking weed when I get out of the Navy either.

As for the girls and the diving, I did that because they were there.

And I didn't go to Aruba TO write a novel, only to continue working on a novel that I've been working on all year.

Lastly, I really like your quote "will you quit when the going gets tough?" I'm not sure if that's part of your comment or if that's your stationary quote, but I actually asked myself that many times over the last couple years. If I quit this, what else will I quit?

And I'm a firm believer in never throwing in the towel for things that I want in life, however, the Navy is not one of the things I want from life. The way I see it, and this is just my own rationalization, people quit their jobs all the time to go off and do better things, I looked at this as quitting a job, only quitting this job had more severe consequences.

All the same, only time will tell how this will turn out.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I printed out your reply and have it stuck on my vision board.

Nice! Thanks for letting me know.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Bump.

 

[jon.a]

Bump.

I knew that was coming

 

[Dave Daily]

Just posted my own request for yous guys to make decisions for me, he said, feeling justifiably chastised and chagrined.

 

[Dopefish1337]

I think a major reason behind why people ask these major life altering questions, is because they don't really know much about themselves. They have no idea if they're introvert/extrovert, what kind of work suits them or they would be happy with etc. Which blows my mind, considering they're adults, they've had plenty of time to figure these things out, and they still don't know.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, but atleast I know certain things about myself. Like, I'm introverted for sure. And I don't give a rats a$$ if I "piss my parents off".

Knowledge like this has made me realize that a web development business was the best choice for me. And I'm going to look into SaaS eventually too. It might not be what I'll do in 5 years, but it works for now.

If you want to get to know more about yourself, there's tools you can use though. And I highly recommend it, it makes making major life changing decisions easier. Personality tests for example. Jordan Peterson has a personality test online to determine what traits you have, and from there, you know what kind of decisions you should make. Tai Lopez has some kind of personality test too. These type of tests will definitely help figuring out what decisions are most compatible to you. You just have to put in the effort.

Alright, that's it from me. Thanks for reading!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Bump.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

@MJ DeMarco I think you may want to link this somewhere in the Unscripted Network thing when people sign up for it, so that way people don't end up getting the wrong idea that it's a gateway ticket to infallible advice and answers to every single thing in existence that someone doesn't have the answers to. Given that I've been guilty of doing this myself and looking back in retrospect, it kind of makes me question what the real point / value of the Unscripted Network thing is other then the occasional insights you get from it. Given that you can be reached on the forum and via email, and that in 90% of cases, whatever someone may have in mind to say, it's often better placed and addressed on the forum where other people can benefit and etc than to just put what they have to say in private conversation. Essentially 99% of the time there's little legitimate reason to make exclusively private correspondence with you, especially with the "I don't have all the answers" thing in mind. I.e imo I just think the unscripted Network thing has no really additional benefit to what already exists and what can already be done with the existing fast lane forum software stuff.

And posts (or "takes") like this is why I stopped responding to you personally on the Unscripted Network. I wasn't aware that you thought it was a personal, one-on-one mentorship where you would get my advice on demand, whenever you want it, complete with an expectation for every question answered, no matter how personal. That's not my fault, it's yours.

I suggest you unsubscribe to it since I was not able to be the personal, free, 24/7 on-call therapist/life-coach you wanted. I don't lead horses to water, I get them to drink.