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Sorry, But MJ (or the forum) Can't Make Your Life Decisions For You!!

MJ DeMarco

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Bump.
 

Dopefish1337

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I think a major reason behind why people ask these major life altering questions, is because they don't really know much about themselves. They have no idea if they're introvert/extrovert, what kind of work suits them or they would be happy with etc. Which blows my mind, considering they're adults, they've had plenty of time to figure these things out, and they still don't know.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, but atleast I know certain things about myself. Like, I'm introverted for sure. And I don't give a rats a$$ if I "piss my parents off".

Knowledge like this has made me realize that a web development business was the best choice for me. And I'm going to look into SaaS eventually too. It might not be what I'll do in 5 years, but it works for now.

If you want to get to know more about yourself, there's tools you can use though. And I highly recommend it, it makes making major life changing decisions easier. Personality tests for example. Jordan Peterson has a personality test online to determine what traits you have, and from there, you know what kind of decisions you should make. Tai Lopez has some kind of personality test too. These type of tests will definitely help figuring out what decisions are most compatible to you. You just have to put in the effort.

Alright, that's it from me. Thanks for reading!
 

SIDI

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What? You mean I need to decide what's important to me and then act on it? But then who am I going to blame if this goes wrong?

MJ - this place and the books sold me "guarantees" of success......
 

MJ DeMarco

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D

DeletedUser84644

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I'm starting to receive a lot of emails, and even messages on this forum that request advice on major, life-changing decisions ... as if, I, and the forum, holds some type of crystal ball that knows the right decision for your life, your family, and your happiness.

Do I quit my job?
Do I move across the country?
Do I build the website myself? Or outsource?
Do I risk going into business with Joe Blow or stay in school?
Do I start this business? Or that business?
Do I wipe my a$$ with scented toilet paper or not?
Do I do this?
Do I do that?

Folks, I don't know!

I can't make these decisions for you.

The forum cannot make these decisions for you.


Everyone is different and only you know you. Some people are dealmakers. Some are introverts. Some are networkers. Some are analytical geniuses.

And yet, please understand that every decision of major consequence in your life carries with it RISK. And yet, RISK is fundamental to the Fastlane because it is the ROAD LESS TRAVELED and often involves sacrifice, and hard-work beyond the "well-traveled" road.

You have to do what is right for YOU and what YOU think will make you happy. And guess what? For some folks, that just might be a Slowlane -- no worries -- life is about happiness and being resolute in your dreams and goals. Whatever path you take, understand that everything extraordinary in life often involved an extraordinary risk.

If you are having trouble making a big decision in your life, I suggest you use the WADM decision matrix that I have used so many times in my life.

Got a Tough Choice? HelpMyDecision.com Helps You Make Better Decisions!

I have been HAPPY in every decision this matrix solved for me.

So to sum it up, I don't know if you should quit college.
I don't know if you should quit your job.
I don't know if you should move to another country.
I don't know if you should quit that business and start another.
I don't know if you should piss-off your parents and do what they don't want.
I don't know if you should learn how to code, or just partner.

And sadly,
the forum doesn't know if you should quit your job.
the forum doesn't know if you should move to another country.
the forum doesn't know if you should quit that business and start another.
the forum doesn't know if you should piss-off your parents and do what they don't want.
the forum doesn't know if you should learn how to code, or just partner.

While I'm flattered that I am asked about such big decisions, my answers are automatically BIASED based on my life experience. The forum responds in the same fashion.

This does not guarantee you will get a good answer based on what is best for YOU.

Take a deep breath, and ask yourself ... What is going to make me happy not just this week, but over the long term? Should you be blessed with another 40 years of life, is this the path you want to take? And remember, not all of life is rainbows and unicorns, the challenging path is the path of growth.

As for my take on decisions, you should already know what my answer will be ... the Fastlane path. But again, that is ME.

I am not you.

You may possess other strengths, talents, and attributes that make the other answer, BETTER.

:cool: :pompus:

Good luck and happy decision-making!


@MJ DeMarco I think you may want to link this somewhere in the Unscripted Network thing when people sign up for it, so that way people don't end up getting the wrong idea that it's a gateway ticket to infallible advice and answers to every single thing in existence that someone doesn't have the answers to. Given that I've been guilty of doing this myself and looking back in retrospect, it kind of makes me question what the real point / value of the Unscripted Network thing is other then the occasional insights you get from it. Given that you can be reached on the forum and via email, and that in 90% of cases, whatever someone may have in mind to say, it's often better placed and addressed on the forum where other people can benefit and etc than to just put what they have to say in private conversation. Essentially 99% of the time there's little legitimate reason to make exclusively private correspondence with you, especially with the "I don't have all the answers" thing in mind. I.e imo I just think the unscripted Network thing has no really additional benefit to what already exists and what can already be done with the existing fast lane forum software stuff.
 

MJ DeMarco

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@MJ DeMarco I think you may want to link this somewhere in the Unscripted Network thing when people sign up for it, so that way people don't end up getting the wrong idea that it's a gateway ticket to infallible advice and answers to every single thing in existence that someone doesn't have the answers to. Given that I've been guilty of doing this myself and looking back in retrospect, it kind of makes me question what the real point / value of the Unscripted Network thing is other then the occasional insights you get from it. Given that you can be reached on the forum and via email, and that in 90% of cases, whatever someone may have in mind to say, it's often better placed and addressed on the forum where other people can benefit and etc than to just put what they have to say in private conversation. Essentially 99% of the time there's little legitimate reason to make exclusively private correspondence with you, especially with the "I don't have all the answers" thing in mind. I.e imo I just think the unscripted Network thing has no really additional benefit to what already exists and what can already be done with the existing fast lane forum software stuff.

And posts (or "takes") like this is why I stopped responding to you personally on the Unscripted Network. I wasn't aware that you thought it was a personal, one-on-one mentorship where you would get my advice on demand, whenever you want it, complete with an expectation for every question answered, no matter how personal. That's not my fault, it's yours.

I suggest you unsubscribe to it since I was not able to be the personal, free, 24/7 on-call therapist/life-coach you wanted. I don't lead horses to water, I get them to drink.
 
D

DeletedUser84644

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And posts (or "takes") like this is why I stopped responding to you personally on the Unscripted Network. I wasn't aware that you thought it was a personal, one-on-one mentorship where you would get my advice on demand, whenever you want it, complete with an expectation for every question answered, no matter how personal. That's not my fault, it's yours.

I suggest you unsubscribe to it since I was not able to be the personal, free, 24/7 on-call therapist/life-coach you wanted. I don't lead horses to water, I get them to drink.
I am not upset about that and criticizing you for it if that's what it seemed (I am honestly ashamed of myself for that). I am just humbly saying that I think it could be relevant to link this post to there. But yeah it is fair to say that it's not your fault if people lack the basic common sense to see / know that. I mention this to save other people the headache of having to learn that the hard way... Sigh... In the most embarrassing fashion that I have.
 
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nothingness

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Now wait a minute, how am I supposed to pick the right colour for my Lamborghini without MJ's advice?
 

MJ DeMarco

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Courtesy bump. The forum can offer some insight, but ultimately it cannot think for you.
 

Isaac Odongo

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Some people deify the people they read. They've suddenly met a god. He knows everything. They should ask him, or pray to him. And his answer is the word of God.

That's shit. Such people need to grow. The Fastlane is growth. It is enlightenment. It is not some rituals some performed in some specialised manner.

I have decided to keep my dayjob. It pays me peanuts. I don't want another one. Even if it pays more. That's my choice. It allowed me time to read much fiction and write smoothly, clearly and simply. Besides, I learn much from the administration of the place. Something I cannot find anywhere easily.

I have decided to take on a course online. It needs numerous hours. I have a job. I sleep most times past midnight and wake up at dawn. I don't have time to talk to my friends as much. But in 12 months I will have a specialised skill. I can sell it or use to make a unit I may sell.

Decisions are majorly personal. You take action and are responsible for the consequences or results of such actions.

You can't outsource decisions to a virtual friend on the other side of the earth.

I like the you've handled this @MJ
 
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Vigilante

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Read this
 

PC123

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This thread should be a sticky so that new members can see it at the top and not make the same mistake.
Totally agree. Pinned to the top, if possible.
 

PC123

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One observation I have noticed about the most successful millionaires and billionaires is that they would become it again if you took everything away from them.There is a simple reason, and that is their state of mind, a state of being, and even a matter of confidence.
With out that, I think the rest is irrelevant, so you need to figure out what will get you to that mindset.

Only you know what is best for you. For me, I had to move. As in I just packed my car and said time to start over.
The schooling part was already over so that part wasn't a debate.

Nothing wrong with asking questions and getting input, but the final decision should be solely yours. I'd rather create be responsible for my own success or failure than have to attribute it to someone else.
Especially this part - " I'd rather create be responsible for my own success or failure than have to attribute it to someone else. " Just to add -- And when you achieve that self-made success, it's the sweetest feeling in the world. It's so empowering. It's so worth it.
 
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Chet Shen

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I really understand why people want MJ's opinions as he is literally the one who inspired us to start businesses and gave us wisdom ( lol, saying it like he's a god, maybe he is, maybe he's not, idk) but still cant expect him to make your big life decisions that could potentially change your WHOLE LIFE. Its your life, not MJ's life, think about what you want and what you need to accomplish, then make the decision, not just by asking some random stranger from the internet.
 

MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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Bump.
 

MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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Jai Mittal

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I'm starting to receive a lot of emails, and even messages on this forum that request advice on major, life-changing decisions ... as if, I, and the forum, holds some type of crystal ball that knows the right decision for your life, your family, and your happiness.

Do I quit my job?
Do I move across the country?
Do I build the website myself? Or outsource?
Do I risk going into business with Joe Blow or stay in school?
Do I start this business? Or that business?
Do I wipe my a$$ with scented toilet paper or not?
Do I do this?
Do I do that?

Folks, I don't know!

I can't make these decisions for you.

The forum cannot make these decisions for you.


Everyone is different and only you know you. Some people are dealmakers. Some are introverts. Some are networkers. Some are analytical geniuses.

And yet, please understand that every decision of major consequence in your life carries with it RISK. And yet, RISK is fundamental to the Fastlane because it is the ROAD LESS TRAVELED and often involves sacrifice, and hard-work beyond the "well-traveled" road.

You have to do what is right for YOU and what YOU think will make you happy. And guess what? For some folks, that just might be a Slowlane -- no worries -- life is about happiness and being resolute in your dreams and goals. Whatever path you take, understand that everything extraordinary in life often involved an extraordinary risk.

If you are having trouble making a big decision in your life, I suggest you use the WADM decision matrix that I have used so many times in my life.

I have been HAPPY in every decision this matrix solved for me.

So to sum it up, I don't know if you should quit college.
I don't know if you should quit your job.
I don't know if you should move to another country.
I don't know if you should quit that business and start another.
I don't know if you should piss-off your parents and do what they don't want.
I don't know if you should learn how to code, or just partner.

And sadly,
the forum doesn't know if you should quit your job.
the forum doesn't know if you should move to another country.
the forum doesn't know if you should quit that business and start another.
the forum doesn't know if you should piss-off your parents and do what they don't want.
the forum doesn't know if you should learn how to code, or just partner.

While I'm flattered that I am asked about such big decisions, my answers are automatically BIASED based on my life experience. The forum responds in the same fashion.

This does not guarantee you will get a good answer based on what is best for YOU.

Take a deep breath, and ask yourself ... What is going to make me happy not just this week, but over the long term? Should you be blessed with another 40 years of life, is this the path you want to take? And remember, not all of life is rainbows and unicorns, the challenging path is the path of growth.

As for my take on decisions, you should already know what my answer will be ... the Fastlane path. But again, that is ME.

I am not you.

You may possess other strengths, talents, and attributes that make the other answer, BETTER.

:cool: :pompus:

Good luck and happy decision-making!

PS: Remember this axiom: Hard choices makes for an easy life. Easy choices makes for a hard life.
That's a really great and much needed piece of advice.

Thanks MJ
 

Reezy64

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Wonderful post as always. This is definitely an example of one of the things that should be obvious to all of us but most of us never consider it because we are all looking for that 'sign from the universe' before we make big decisions but at the end of the day, only YOU know if an idea or certain course of action is the right one for yourself.
 

Robdavis

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I think that some people see MJ as a bit of a "Jesus" figure. So they think that he knows the "right" things for them to do or who they should become.

I think of MJ as more of a "Buddha" figure.

As it states here:


"The Buddha emphasized that he was not expounding an opinion but a Path, that is, a way of life, based on values and actions that lead to a holistic apperception, an experience, a realization."

and also:

"...the Buddha taught a path which some individuals may embrace, the more the merrier. But the path is walked by each individual based upon his or her own volition, his or her own Kamma, [ed: actions] his or her own collections of motives, strengths, weaknesses, wishes and fears. The path is chosen, and this activation of the sense of personal choice and intention is essential to its function as a guiding practice through the vicissitudes of life."



To my mind, MJ is like a Fastlane Buddha, our role as Fastlaners or potential Fastlaners is not to follow MJ but to try to walk the path (or drive it in Lambos) he indicates and to do it in a way that harmonizes with our character.
 
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