Sometimes it's worth just keeping quiet

[Paul David]

We think differently to the majority of other people, that's why we have read the book or are members of this group.

Over the past few years i've found myself telling other people (friends and family) what i'm going to do, the lifestyle that i'm going to lead etc. I've been told "you're dreaming" or "you're never happy with what you've got are you?" or "we'll never have that type of house so stop showing me them" (the Wife). A friend as recently last week alluded to the fact that because i work from home i basically watch TV all day.

All the above comments i've stored in my head to help motivate me and push me everyday to prove them all wrong and make my dream's a reality. A year or so ago when i first got in bed at night i used to close my eyes and think about winning the lottery, how i'd react to the news, how i'd announce it to friends and family, the gift's i'd buy, places i'd go. Now when i close my eyes before sleep i think about how i'm going to tell for example My wife that she can quit her job because my business has is generating enough profit for that to happen. Or how i'd tell a friend "remember when i told you i was going to buy a Villa in Portugal and you said i was dreaming?, well i've just bought one."

I'm not waiting around in the slim hope that i might one day touch lucky and win the lottery, i'm going to create freedom and wealth myself with action. I've decided to stop telling people what i'm going to do and go out and do it instead.

People who don't think like us, the sidewalkers that MJ talked about or the people happy to have a mundane Ground hog day Monday to Friday job don't like to hear about us "dreamers" so the best advice i could give with regards to this is to not say anything. Don't make the mistake i did of telling people i was going to buy this house, or live in this Country etc or make this amount of money. The other people don't like to hear it.

Just go out and make it happen!

 

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[Jamesdoesmith]

imagine living with two older people who for the longest time were the authority on my choices saying you are insane. Get a job baby!!

 

[Iwokeup]

Whatever you need to do in order to motivate yourself..go for it.

You should see the cross eyed looks that I used to get when I mentioned my intent to leave day to day medicine behind for my own business. Most people can't or won't look beyond the reality that they've constructed for themselves (the "Slow Lane") and as you all know, moving beyond that veil is incredibly painful. Anything that reminds them that maybe they have invested in a failed "bargain" (save a dollar a day for forty years!) is painful.

Anyway, best to keep quiet except to those one or two people that you can trust and who share the vision.

Good luck!

 

[ilrein]

And yet our need to share, to be vindicated in our beliefs, and to be supported along our path is so strong...

We're social beings after all. Luckily we have this forum.

 

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[mowealth]

Great attitude. I usually just smile when such things happen, because when I disagree it turns into an argument (so I let them stick to their belief). The world is filled with small minded people who usually want you to play it safe; not wanting you to fail or some actually wanting you to fail. Ever done something someone said you couldn't? The look on their face, I LOVE IT!

 

[Mac]

I've tried to explain myself to my family about what I want to do and why I do not want to go to university and I've been met with the response "You're an idiot... You can never do it, etc." I've come to a simple conclusion — keeping my mouth shut. I take their advice with a grain of salt these days. I just listen to what they have to say, nod my head and then mentally disregard the Slowlane advice they have given me. (Opening a 401k, retirement funds, etc.) It's easier that way if you want to avoid confrontation. Also, you're more likely not to achieve your goals when you go around telling everyone because psychologically you believe that you have already accomplished them. Then when you fail, all the average people will be saying "I knew he couldn't do that." But when you do achieve those goals, you will be legendary.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

we'll never have that type of house so stop showing me them" (the Wife).

This strikes me as most concerning. How on earth can you be married to someone who doesn't support your dreams and goals? It makes absolute no sense to me as a friend, let alone, someone who you're supposed to live with for the rest of your life. And of course, once you start bringing home the bacon and she can smell it, then suddenly she'll be supportive? Meaning, she'll be there for the event, the results, but not the process? Sorry, but this stinks of "you're on your own", when marriage should be a partnership.

 

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[AntEmpire]

I never tell anyone what I'm up to. Nobody knows and I intend to keep it that way until I have some real results to show off.

 

[James Fake]

Yeah, anything dealing with socio-economics is a real tender subject for most and they can't handle it. More tender than religion IMO..

 

[Iwokeup]

This strikes me as most concerning. How on earth can you be married to someone who doesn't support your dreams and goals? It makes absolute no sense to me as a friend, let alone, someone who you're supposed to live with for the rest of your life. And of course, once you start bringing home the bacon and she can smell it, then suddenly she'll be supportive? Meaning, she'll be there for the event, the results, but not the process? Sorry, but this stinks of "you're on your own", when marriage should be a partnership.

Which is why he needs to work hard on showing her the process, the plan, etc. Remember, she has to shed her "Slow lane" beliefs too.

EDIT: a link to my own post in a similar situation. It's possible to change attitudes as long as you change yourself FIRST.

 

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[JAJT]

When you talk to people about stuff like this you upset their hard-accepted expectations of life.

Everyone starts out thinking they'll hit it big. Either they skipped college/uni because they want that head start they need to crush it in this world, or they go to college/uni and think their education is the obvious stepping stone to a prosperous future.

Then life gets in the way, obstacles crop up and they accept (consciously or not) that they are stuck where they are and just need to just keep doing what they are doing. The aspirations fade, reality sets in, and they get stuck squarely in traffic, slowlane all the way to the grave.

Then you come around with your dreams and aspirations and start showing proof of how it's possible, what you're doing about securing your future, and how you are actually being the person they thought they were going to be 'one day'. You've upset the balance of the slowlane. You've cracked open the door to the club that they are standing in line for but they KNOW they will never get in. So they spite you for it because that is the only recourse they have (or they could be happy for you, but we all know how rare it is to be genuinely happy for someone getting what you want and can't have...).

 

[ilrein]

@JAJT that's what mediocrity is.

For one to be genuinely happy for the success of another, with no reservations of envy or jealousy, one must be currently in a state of abundance, or have the unshakeable confidence that they will reach such abundance.

Then, the success of others isn't a cold reminder of the future they can never experience; but the radiant glow of inspiration that what one can do -- so can I.

 

[JoeB]

Playing devil's advocate, it could also be down to the ratio of 'how much you do' vs 'how much you talk'.

 

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[wilddog]

Sorry, but this stinks of "you're on your own", when marriage should be a partnership.

Why? Two slowlaners get married. Then one day you have a revelation and decide to enter the fastlane.
Just because you have had a revelation doesn't mean your spouse has one too.
The slowlane mantras have been ingrained in her head her entire life. It's all she knows and all she understands.
Of course she'll think you're insane for talking about Lamborghinis and mansions. In her head it's impossible. It's for other people.

In this forum, we cultivate the fastlane mindset. You need to help cultivate that same mindset in your spouse.
While a spouse should always be supportive. A slowlaner will react to you talking about riches like a life-long obese person will react to you talking about diets. Diets work for others, not me. Riches are for other people, not me.

We as fastlaners need to understand this. Instead of disappointment in our spouse's lack of belief, we need to remove the veil from their eyes and show them the endless possibilities we see.

 

[Paul David]

Absolutely Mac.

This strikes me as most concerning. How on earth can you be married to someone who doesn't support your dreams and goals? It makes absolute no sense to me as a friend, let alone, someone who you're supposed to live with for the rest of your life. And of course, once you start bringing home the bacon and she can smell it, then suddenly she'll be supportive? Meaning, she'll be there for the event, the results, but not the process? Sorry, but this stinks of "you're on your own", when marriage should be a partnership.

MJ my wife has admitted she's not an entrepreneur type. I think the comment came more from the fact that i've been saying the same things for years but not really made much progress against my claims. Like i said in my original post and another member pointed out it's difficult to convince other people and if you keep going on about without achieving it to them you're living in a dream world.

My Wife actually earns more than me at the moment although we share our money, she's a Finance Director for a major UK clothing retailer. She's more a happy with what we've got type of person.

Wilddog has provided an alternative response above which is excellent.

 

[Journey2Million$]

Put your nose to the grindstone and start making dem dreams come true!
You can do it!

Lately I've been thinking of a new theory, which is that doing the work to succeed is actually the relatively easy part, and the hard part is getting yourself to believe you can succeed (by succeed I mean succeeding really big). I think we have a lot of potential waiting to be unlocked, and the thing that unlocks it is a change of mindset. I think forcing yourself to do things you haven't done before helps change your mind. I think a lot of us are living in invisible cages that we created with our own imaginations.

 

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[Bila]

i think this is what being an entrepreneur is about, having the mental capacity, discipline and ability to go through the " lonliness " of being apart. It's about having the mental strengh to go through hardship and doubt, like a musician But without an audience to cheer us up, or an athlete but without the clapping of spectators....it's tough !

 

[Wal-Mart Vendor]

Sometimes it's just not in a persons personality. They are perfectly happy being a 9-5 robot. Most people I know would not know what to do if they did not have a set place to go and be told what to do....ding ding lunch at 12pm back at desk at 1pm.

I believe that either you are born with it or your not, usually it's who they were raised by, spend time with or they are forced to change due to divorce or other circumstances. When I was 5 I would cut out pictures of luxurious cars and houses and hang them up in my room. I was a dreamer and I knew what I wanted at and early age.

On the flip side, nothing has came to me without putting in the work along with disappointments (there has been soooo many of those). I did not even make it past the 10th grade! My lack of college education defiantly has slowed me down in some areas (grammar) lol. I can't even start to explain how many stupid things I have done along the way, later wth was I thinking calling the president of a company who am I? But. I just kept on moving and learning and watching. I was told " no" you will not get a patent and"no" you will not get and investor and " no way" will you ever get into Wal-Mart. Well shut the damn door...I did all of them! Not bragging at all... no it did not make me a filthy rich, but what it did do is give me the experience to move forward and live a great life helping others. I am now at my happiest when I help others see it can be done and to QUIT doubting there-self! I just hate that when people say " I can't do that" yes the hell you can so get up off your a$$ and make it come true! Sorry...got a little away with myself for a moment!

On the other side of the coin, I do not like it when I see people mortgaging their homes and putting the family in bankruptcy for an idea. You still have kids to raise and bills to pay so you have to keep the dreams in check, Go for it if you can, but not at the cost of putting your family out on the streets.

 

[axiom]

Yeah, hanging out around here and other 'fastlane communities' totally warps your perspective. I frequently feel myself assuming that everyone's dream is to start a business. The reality is that the majority of people don't. Many people love 9-5s and security.

I don't talk to 'slow lane people' (or normal people) about the things I'm doing because I know they have different priorities than I do. Its not as if fastlane is better than slowlane, they are just two very different mindsets.

 

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[Wal-Mart Vendor]

So true! @axiom You can't be a shark if you were born a chicken. You have to admit, living in the fast lane is a lot more fun!

 

[Mattie]

Just go out and make it happen!

In my experience, I learned people usually don't want to hear anything, but what they want to hear. Which means if you're not telling them what they want to hear, they don't agree, will object, create drama for the sake of drama, and no matter what you do, you can't win unless you say something they want to hear and agree with.

So, once you learn this key point! Go out and make it happen. I don't even tell people what I'm doing, because I really don't think people care in the first place, because they're more concerned with self-absorption and "Me". Without the drama it makes it so much easier to focus on your projects and have fun with it, and not stress about it. I"m just an introvert too. lol I don't like people in my business unless I choose for them to be there. I'm not dependent on other people emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

When I"m with other people, I'll listen to them, but I don't bring up my projects unless asked. Good reason being, I'm not there yet. So, offering that information or bragging about it, without significant results,doesn't make sense to me. You can talk about it all you want, but it always takes action, and never happens over night, and some how I just learned to enjoy the journey and the ride.

 

[bbrrookie]

I agree. Just make it happpen! Not everyone will understand

 

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[Shdreams]

I've always been a big dreamer. And I've Always been criticized. My grade 8 teacher told me I wouldn't make it out of high school. Blah blah fast food Job. She was rite, I dropped out in grade 11 because I Convinced my engineering student buddy to start a Tyvek installing Business with me. And I made around 40k for the next three years. 17 years old. We were literally the first people locally to think of it. To this day I wish I could thank her for that speech. Unfortunately everyone and there brother started a Vapor barrier company by the third year. And the prices we created were slashed to peanuts. I accepted My 3rd gen Carpenter life sentence. Almost 10 years later I'm breaking 40k again. Hatrers,jealousy, Backstabbers. F@*k every last one of them! And the Fat Horse they rode in on!
P.s. my wife basically wears the pants around our house. But she treads lightly when it comes to my goals, work, and dreams. She knows I'll gladly pay child support if she tries to stand in the way of my dreams.

 

[FlamingRemedy]

I learned this last year, alienated myself from a few people as well as cut people off who were more negative. Soon after, I started making more progress and it continues to this day, steady growth, not rich at the moment. Tough lesson for me as a teen thinking my school mates at the time were really my friends in that regard. Now I just do, avoiding nosy people at the same time.

 

[Shdreams]

Life in its self Can be very Negative. Hiding from the Nay-sayers, critics, haters,Thieves or whomever drags you down. In my opinion Will only Hinder your ability to Push through the Non sense. Resilience Has to be a key factor in Fast lane. I could very well Be wrong. But You will be hard pressed to convince me otherwise.

 

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[Unknown]

@Shdreams don't forget that a wife is meant to be your partner. Not just someone you live with, but your other half. Following your dreams is very important, but the best times of your life will be spent with those you love.

That wasn't meant to be a criticism btw. Just a reminder I think we all need sometimes.

 

[Shdreams]

@Shdreams don't forget that a wife is meant to be your partner. Not just someone you live with, but your other half. Following your dreams is very important, but the best times of your life will be spent with those you love.

That wasn't meant to be a criticism btw. Just a reminder I think we all need sometimes.

I agree %100 And I do forget it sometimes. I Know I can come off as a heartless Person at times, I know it. I am giving of myself to family, friends,strangers. More than I should be at times AND I love my Wife Dearly, We created an amazing family.I couldn't see myself anywhere else. BUT when WE Cook, clean, do diapers, I Walk the dogs. She works hard to. So I man up. It's 9:30 I just want two chapters of MJ's Book in the living room before I pass out. And I get some Hormonal response. I need to Remind her. I will only be getting Busier and Hopefully wealthier. And your emotions about going to bed alone for 20 mins are not going to prevent that from happening.

 

[AndrewNC]

At first they will think you're crazy, and after you hit it big - they will say you got lucky.

 

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[axiom]

Have you tried to get your wife to read the Millionaire Fastlane ? Especially the first half in her case--exposing her to the mindset.

 

[FlamingRemedy]

Life in its self Can be very Negative. Hiding from the Nay-sayers, critics, haters,Thieves or whomever drags you down. In my opinion Will only Hinder your ability to Push through the Non sense. Resilience Has to be a key factor in Fast lane. I could very well Be wrong. But You will be hard pressed to convince me otherwise.

I get where you're coming from and agree that resilience is in fact essential to this, but negativity isn't really useful to me unless it's a complaint I can remedy.