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This is a simple system to reduce social anxiety and get more confident and present in social situations. I used to be extremely introverted and socially paranoid, never having friends and thinking someone passing by on a walk was judging my every move. I never found the advice "Just be yourself, no one is judging you!" helpful at all, and it's way too wishy washy to actually make progress with. I've been using this for a few months, and it's a drastic difference compared to how I used to be. If you're very introverted and want to become more extroverted and less socially anxious, I guarantee this will help.
However your social skills are right now, assume your level 0 with 0 points.
Every time you greet someone, add 5 points.
Every time you have small talk with someone, add 10 points.
Every time you hold a conversation with someone, add 20 points.
If you approach someone you find attractive, add 50 points.
If you go to some big social event like a party, add 100 points.
(no, texting does not count)
Set a daily social points goal that makes you uncomfortable. Keep count of your daily points using the calculator app on your phone. Every time you reach 1000 points, you level up.
It's impossible to level up just sitting in your house with an occasional Walmart trip, so put yourself in environments to talk to people. That could be taking a daily walk, joining a sports club, going to community events, whatever you can access.
Yes it's weird to track daily interactions as points and this is very tedious at first. But I promise, this will force you to improve your social skills and get into more social experiences. Your interactions will feel very awkward and forced at first, but it's so worth it. Life is infinitely better when you're socially connected with other people.
I also recommend to check out the earlier chapters in the book Charisma Myth. The mental tactics there work incredibly well.
However your social skills are right now, assume your level 0 with 0 points.
Every time you greet someone, add 5 points.
Every time you have small talk with someone, add 10 points.
Every time you hold a conversation with someone, add 20 points.
If you approach someone you find attractive, add 50 points.
If you go to some big social event like a party, add 100 points.
(no, texting does not count)
Set a daily social points goal that makes you uncomfortable. Keep count of your daily points using the calculator app on your phone. Every time you reach 1000 points, you level up.
It's impossible to level up just sitting in your house with an occasional Walmart trip, so put yourself in environments to talk to people. That could be taking a daily walk, joining a sports club, going to community events, whatever you can access.
Yes it's weird to track daily interactions as points and this is very tedious at first. But I promise, this will force you to improve your social skills and get into more social experiences. Your interactions will feel very awkward and forced at first, but it's so worth it. Life is infinitely better when you're socially connected with other people.
I also recommend to check out the earlier chapters in the book Charisma Myth. The mental tactics there work incredibly well.
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