Scientist tired of trading time for money

[4symmetry]

... pretty much cuts it. 28, female, and want to contribute to the Science community at some bigger level than just pipetting something in my corner of the lab.

 

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[4symmetry]

Okay, now I finally found some time to actually introduce myself.

I'm 28 old, originally from Austria but now working in Munich, Germany. I'm a scientist by training and just graduated last July with my PhD in biology/biomedical research. Now I'm working on a 2 year contract as a PostDoc, i.e. trained, underpaid and discardable scientist.

I started my studies at Uni just being interested and curious. I went on to be not sure whether I made the right decision around the time I got my Bachelor's degree, once I realized that the only "good job" (as in fun, creative, intellectually challenging and not a sales job at a pharma company or similar things) was to stay in academia and do research, or score a pharma research job right after graduation (but those are rare).
I knew I wanted to pursue a Phd because I just love learning, and I feel I'm smart enough to potentially make a contribution to science and medicine later in life.

Doing a PhD sucked at first, and I almost fell out of love with science. Disaster struck, however, and saved me from that fate. 1.5 years into my PhD, the institute I worked at was dissolved, and all our equipment was taken away. I had to make do sneaking in at other institutes and begging for even basic stuff to do what I'm paid to do. It was horrible for a while, but ultimately led to a move to Munich, where I finished my PhD last year. Here, the institute is huge, the group itself is quite big (~10 people compared to 3 back in Austria) and the money is abundant. Opportunities are endless. And my supervisor, a micromanaging Postdoc who's great at what he does but doesn't think big and works way differently than I do, stayed behind in Austria.
So once I was here in Munich, I realized: I didn't hate science. I loved it! What I hated was working on an uninspired project by an unimaginative boss and being micromanaged by his OCD Postdoc. That's when I learnt that science is, indeed, fun, and I can maybe do something worthwile after all. (I also learnt how important environment is, I underestimated it way too much! Environment was literally the make or break element in the decision whether to stay in science or not!!!!).

So yeah, here I am. I'm super excited to do what I'm doing.
However, the old frustration is creeping back in. Science is extremely competitive. You basically have to fight to the death with smart and well-funded competitors who work round the clock, competing for a fixed/group leader position. That's when you get freedom to pursue your own ideas. Before that, you're basically put on a project that your boss got funding for. You can choose it, of course. As in take it or leave it. Or: leave. And those positions are always temporary, high pressure etc.

I don't mind that part. I like what I do and I like working hard.
What I'm pissed/frustrated about is that you have to fight with numerous competitors over a tiny piece of the cake, and even IF you win, there's NO WAY you can get to financial freedom on a group leader/professor salary!!!

I only realized this after I started reading TFM, when I did the math and it just doesn't work out
So now I'm here. I'll ask for advice and help in another forum category


Btw, if anyone's curious: I'm typing this while waiting for my 3 "test" mice to F*cking finally eat my hand-made strawberry flavoured jelly.
I'm trying to train them to eat a drug I want to administer voluntarily, so that I don't have to put a tube down their throat and force-feed them every day. So I made them a nice strawberry jelly. I made it myself, so I completely control it. It's not that simple, force feeding is way easier, so there's some entry barrier. I created a need for food by fasting them overnight. And once I'm sure it works, I can scale it to 36 mice, hopefully. What I'm missing right now is time . I'm still sitting here waiting for the last mouse to finally taste the goddamn jelly

So at least, being a scientist, I am already used to failing....

 

[jpanarra]

Hey welcome, Fellow 28 year old scientist here!

Graduated with a BS in chemistry though, kinda saw through the facade in the science community where people would just spin their wheels in academia by doing breakthrough research for larger companies and when they do come up with a million/billion dollar solution.

I still work full time in a manufacturing environment but I've started my journey a little over a year ago and that light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and brighter as time goes on.

Good Luck to you!