Private: Women only

[manta]

I'm a woman, not sure about a women only section. It would be nice to know who are the female forum members, as it is sometimes easier to relate to other women. There are some unique challenges women face due to the business world seeming to still be largely a patriarchal space, at least from my perspective. I joined 10 or so days ago but actually only posted for first time today because of how male dominant this forum seems to be, though as another poster mentioned the world is mixed if you cant cope in here you probably wont be able to cope "out there".

 

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[IceCreamKid]

Having said that, it is a bummer that there are not more women here. I wish there were.

There are probably a lot of women here, but lurking. I bet if just ONE ultra successful female came onto the forum and started posting regularly, masses of ladybirds would start posting.

The stiletto movement is alive and well.

 

[ChickenHawk]

I joined 10 or so days ago but actually only posted for first time today because of how male dominant this forum seems to be

Please don't let that stop you. I've never felt like I was treated differently for being a gal. Welcome to the forum!

 

[AroundTheWorld]

I joined 10 or so days ago but actually only posted for first time today because of how male dominant this forum seems to be,

I am a woman....
I was active here, years ago.
I just recently returned, and since returning,

I have had several women PM me to share that they are so happy that I am here and outspoken. Now that I am here, they feel more free to post what they *actually* think.

It makes me wonder about how many of us are lurking out there, and what else can be done to make this forum more female friendly?

I tend to just write what I think and hold my breath as I hit "Post Reply" knowing that some of the alpha males out there will probably roll their eyes at me. But, I do it anyway because:

1) I am who I am. Take me or leave me and
2) Back in the day I had a positive reputation, so it helps me have the courage.

But, I recognize that women that are new to the forum, or lurkers, may not have this background and therefore may choose not to participate, or may not participate as authentically because there isn't enough "support."

SO.... my question is this...

ARE there female lurkers out there that want to participate? If so, what would make this place more user friendly to you? Post here, and let us know!!

 

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[IceCreamKid]

What else can be done to make this forum more female friendly?

There needs to be a highly respected male figure in the forum who focuses solely on posts that discuss how it's absolutely okay for us men to be in touch with our emotions.

Men don't know how to be men anymore. We're all stuck on portraying this fake sense of "coolness" instead of being our authentic selves. There are 50 year old men acting like boys.

So here's what needs to be done: teach all the young'ns that the root of success comes from being very in touch with your own emotions and the emotions of others. Keeping a business open long term is an insane rollercoaster ride and if you're not in touch with your emotions, you will exhaust yourself due to the inability to handle these feelings.

Teach them that when you are in touch with the emotions of others, you can feel their pain EASILY and be able to spot opportunities everywhere due to this ability. I see pain everywhere...just today I was thinking about a bunch of businesses with pains: veterinary clinics, wineries, self-storage facilities, firearm dealers, VC's, investment companies, sports medicine practices, swimming pool construction, kitchen cabinets, funeral homes, transportation brokers...good lord the ideas just flow when you feel the pain of others.

If women actually felt that men were more sensitive to everyone's emotions, they'd probably feel more free to express themselves on this forum.

 

[ChickenHawk]

If women actually felt that men were more sensitive to everyone's emotions, they'd probably feel more free to express themselves on this forum.

Oh dear. I can't believe I'm actually going to disagree with this, because in truth, I think the sentiment is admirable. But here's my own probably wacky opinion on this. I think our current society is too obsessed with sensitivity and demographics of any variety.

True, this forum can be blunt at times, but I'd much rather hear a hard truth here on this forum than fail out there in the real business world because I was coddled for being a woman. We all want to succeed and make money and become financial independent. If you put up something for sale, whether it's a book/product/whatever, and the world doesn't like it, they'll tell you very bluntly, by not purchasing it. It's cold and cruel, and it sucks.

Even though I like to think of myself as a relatively nice person, I actually appreciate how "insensitive" this forum can be. Forum members aren't cruel, but they don't pull punches either. No one here gets a trophy just for showing up, or just for being a female, or just for being a male, or whatever. And I think that's the way it should be.

Specifically, about the whole female thing, I used to work at a government facility. They were so obsessed with genders and other demographics, that IMO, it was just a distraction to the real work that needed doing.

Speaking from experience on this forum, the guys are great! The gals are great! And if someone acts like a pig, they'll be called on it. Seriously, come on in. The water's fine!

 

[mayana]

Such as?

And @MJ DeMarco I'm curious about what prompted this thought.

Lol.... I was surprised to see a comment again on here

There seem to be a lot more women on here in the past several months than there were, say, a year or two ago, so this doesn't hold quite as true as it did when I first made this post.

Disclaimer: I am in NO way trying to discount single dads, or dads that are very involved in the daily care of their kids, so this isn't meant to offend anyone at all ... please.

As everyone here knows, starting a business is a very challenging process, and it is always a struggle to balance the needs of our family (men and women both experience this, of course). But there are certain things that women face uniquely, both because of biology and society.
I'm thinking mainly things such as pregnancy and nursing a baby. When I first joined this forum, my youngest was very small, and I was going through a lot of these things, and I just didn't feel comfortable talking with the guys about it. I have a great husband who does EVERYTHING around the house and with the kids, but even so, he is a heavy sleeper and the minute my three-year old whimpers in the middle of the night, I'm up and in her room within seconds... (again, I'm not saying that NO guy does this!).

I was also a single mom (divorced -even though I shouldn't have to specify that) for a long time (statistically, it's more common for women to have custody of children than men - before anyone says anything about that...), and there are a lot of unique issues that single parents (both men and women) face, that a lot of people don't understand/don't care about/don't have much insight to offer about.

There are other things that I wouldn't want to discuss in open forum, lest I be labeled (and I don't want to start any arguments, of course), but these and similar issues are the most obvious.

However, as I said, I am happy with the forum and don't really think a private area is necessary (though I would use it if it were there).

To those who say it would be sexist, I struggle to understand why it isn't fair that you wouldn't be able to read about how to breastfeeding while updating a website... though I can see the allure

 

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[Enki]

I struggle to understand why it isn't fair that you wouldn't be able to read about how to breastfeeding while updating a website...

Mr Milker – Now Men Can Breastfeed

 

[Jonleehacker]

How will you know if someone is female or male to allow entrance to the "women only" forum?

 

[Deleted21704]

I find that men have some pretty constructive things to say

Gee, thanks

 

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[Red]

I prefer not knowing if someone is male or female. I do, however, like to know their track record, both in business & in contribution to the group. That is how I ascribe merit to the words that have been typed.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

How will you know if someone is female or male to allow entrance to the "women only" forum?

Access, or maybe posting ability, would be simply to check off that you're a female in your member profile. So its like a bathroom door -- sure you can walk inside, but you'd better be representing correctly.

It makes me wonder about how many of us are lurking out there, and what else can be done to make this forum more female friendly?

It really has improved in the last year. It could be the "no douchebag" rules we have in place.

Keep the "Bar Stool" Language At Home.
I'm sorry, but none of us want to hear how you are a master at "slaying chicks", "getting laid" and "pulling tail". Women entrepreneurs have some of the best insights. If we are to benefit from their opinions, you must refrain from posting immature bar-stool guy talk— keep this stuff to your own private networks. Look at this forum as a CEO boardroom composed of half women, half men. Don't be a douche.

 

[Jonleehacker]

Access, or maybe posting ability, would be simply to check off that you're a female in your member profile. So its like a bathroom door -- sure you can walk inside, but you'd better be representing correctly.

My point was that is will be so easy for anyone to gain access, the concept of it becomes worthless. Unlike in a real bathroom, there is no social pressure using anonymous credentials on the internet.

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

It really has improved in the last year. It could be the "no douchebag" rules we have in place.

Yep, I can see where this would make a huge difference

 

[mayana]

My point was that is will be so easy for anyone to gain access, the concept of it becomes worthless. Unlike in a real bathroom, there is no social pressure using anonymous credentials on the internet.

I don't think this would be a huge problem, plus, none of us are as anonymous as we might think ~ even online.

Sent from my Venture using Tapatalk 2

 

[Red]

But I did want to say thanks for even asking that question, MJ. When I first joined, I felt the forum was much more locker-room talk & some pretty in-poor-taste "golddigger" references were made (some even directly at me). I personally really appreciate the job that you & the other mods do to keep this place cleaned up & focused on topic. I value this forum & the people that comprise it. I am proud to call quite a few of your personal friends & I only hope that I can contribute back in the way that so many of you have done for me.

 

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[Danny G]

Please don't let that stop you. I've never felt like I was treated differently for being a gal. Welcome to the forum!

Same here! It's more about what you do/say than gender thing. And I do agree that men are so much more than women here (I'm a woman). If MJ decides to create a private forum for women only I would join it

 

[cautiouscapy]

"no douchebag" rules

On this site the policies in place work well and make me feel "safe" from being offended or whatever. I've seem MJ rap people's knuckles for off-colour remarks and I really appreciate that.

I like that it's been suggested. I'd go for an area that I could talk to ladies, but would it need to be locked? If you want advice on something deeply personal (not business) then you probably ask in another forum or your local friends. If a guy came for a look, he'd probably just get bored.

It's nice to have a place to "chat" about things where you'd like a woman's perspective - the sexes do relate differently sometimes!

I am a member of another site that has a "Powder Room" (and a "Locker Room"). The doors aren't locked, anyone can wander in (so, for example, one guy came over to the Powder room to ask advice about replacing his wife's cashmere sweater that he'd shrunk in the wash...where better to ask?)
But that forum is like this forum, it's populated by intelligent people, none of whom want to play war of the genders on that forum. No-one's having "bar-room" conversations even in the girls/boys room.

I'd bet a lot of money that most of the women on here are like me in that we love talking about business, technology, get on well with guys as friends and colleagues, and are not deeply interested in talking about girly stuff. When I used to work in IT, I loved to hang out with the other ladies (we were 10-25% of any project I worked on. I loved fact that we could talk techie and business but, once in a while, girl-things if we wanted.

Me, I'd wondered about something similar on here; as Mayana says, for example, some women have kids and therefore business issues that their menfolk just don't have.

Meanwhile Ladies if anyone does want to have a virtual "meet for coffee" then please come here;
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...tlane-virtual-meetup.49794/page-2#post-345822
I'll be posting some suggested times tomorrow (Thursday) if any ladies are interested.

 

[AroundTheWorld]

I am a member of another site that has a "Powder Room" (and a "Locker Room"). The doors aren't locked, anyone can wander in (so, for example, one guy came over to the Powder room to ask advice about replacing his wife's cashmere sweater that he'd shrunk in the wash...where better to ask?).

I like that idea.

I agree there are times I may engage in topics or conversation that aren't necessary "private" but would probably simply be boring to most guys.... some of which were mentioned above.

How to type with a baby nursing in your arms
How to deal with the work / SAHM conflict
Tricks for running your biz out of the home when you have babies / toddlers
etc.

And, I really like the idea of a locker room too, because I'd rather not have to wade through the threads about cars. Ugh. Though, I know you, @Red would probably be hanging out in there

 

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[cautiouscapy]

And, I really like the idea of a locker room too, because I'd rather not have to wade through the threads about cars.

Cars were what I was thinking about, too...the sexes do have some differences . So if a guy wants advice about dyeing his hair, he can come and chat to the ladies, and if a girl wants to talk about cars, she can risk the locker room?

We'd surely still be civilized even in our semi-private spaces - this is TMF !

I don't want too much division though. I remember in one of my first jobs, long ago before smoking bans, deals were done in the smoking room. I never went into the smoking room...

 

[Red]

ha ha, I LIKE the car threads! And I have to be honest, I don't do the kid thing, so the threads that most women would frequent wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. I think it's a great idea to have as a resource if it's wanted (because it sounds like it would benefit many women in here -in itself, reason to do it) but I would probably not be there, as I have no valid input or any points of reference, lol. Now if you ladies want input on something with two or four wheels, I'm your woman!

 

[Mrs. BRKb]

Love the Powder Room, perhaps with an equivalent Gentlemen's Cigar space.

They could have a practical function for market research, in addition to chatting. Why do guys here ask for feedback from the whole forum (from men) when their product or website is for women? Ask women. And vice versa.

If these lounges could be on the Inside, all the better.

 

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[mayana]

If these lounges could be on the Inside, all the better.

I agree with this 100%. Also, it would be more incentive to join the INSIDERS

 

[Mattie]

It doesn't bother me. I've been brought up with men. They've challenged me to be the best. Never waited for me to keep up. They expected me to keep up. lol

 

[Nadia]

I'm a woman and I attend women's business events and mixed events both. Sometimes you need other women to understand, as feminine way of doing business is much calmer, however--I have learned so much from the men on this forum and the few women that ACTUALLY speak up (myself included!).

I appreciate MJ's thoughts on a Female Forum, however

 

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[CarrieW]

I don't feel its necessary... I would use it if it were here. but I don't think its "needed" there are plenty of boards out there for women. they are terrible catty places. (idk about the other females here but I have always "clicked" and communicated with guys better anyway I am not the typical girl tho)

I have shared many personal female things here, (miscarriages, problems with kids in school, just to name a few) everyone was understanding and nice. I feel totally comfortable speaking in front of women and men.

if someone needed specific female input just put it in the title