MINDSET Nobody Responds to your Cold E-mails? You might be Selfish.

[workingtitle]

I want to share a valuable learning experience (goof up) I just had in the hopes that it might make other people more aware when sending out cold e-mails.

I wanted to reach out to a VERY successful entrepreneur (let's call him John), about a project I had in mind. I took a half hour to construct what I deemed to be the "perfect" e-mail, one that would guarantee a response. Here's how it looked.

"Hi John,

You're the man! Love your work on ..., you have a great story, and kicked a$$ on ...'s podcast.

I know you genuinely love helping people so I thought I would reach out directly.

My friend and I are starting a website that aims to ... It's an $11billion industry that's so full of ..., that .... That's where we would come in.

Thing is, we're both business guys and don't know the FIRST THING about building a GOOD site. That's why I'm reaching out to you.

You have an incredible technical knowledge and I want to involve you in this process (Give you money!!)

I would love the opportunity to have a call on Tuesday for 15 min @ 10 AM PST. Would this work for you?

Thanks in advance! I would genuinely love to connect.

Best,

..."
​

Now, by sending this e-mail I thought a few things.

1. I was being affable, friendly, and casual (which would get a response)
2. I was showing him that I actually did my homework on him (which would get a response)
3. I was asking for a brief amount of time, and presenting a specific call to action by proposing a time (which would get a response)

Well, I did get a response. One minute later. It simply read

"No thanks."
​

I wanted to dig a little deeper so I responded:

"No worries. Thanks for the response!

Out of curiosity, did anything jump out at you that I can improve for future cold e-mails? I'm always trying to get better."
​

He responded

"Your e-mail was all about you."
​

I had to go back and think about it. All about me? What? I re-read and re-read and it suddenly became clear.

The entire e-mail was me trying to get something from him. I wanted to involve him in a project, I wanted his time, and I wanted his experience. Nowhere in my e-mail was there any mention of really collaborating, working together, building something as a team, etc. The e-mail was written from a fundamentally selfish perspective of "I need something from you and I'm going to get it". I thought that by mentioning money in the e-mail I would elicit a response. I was wrong on every level.

A good takeaway for both myself and the people learning from my mistake is to ask yourself whether your e-mail is coming across as selfish when you send it. What is the real purpose behind your words? If it's trying to get something from someone else, it will fail.

MJ speaks about adding value when creating a business, the same thing is true in e-mails. Does your e-mail add value? Are you producing value for the recipient of your e-mail, or are you consuming their time?

Might be worth keeping in mind next time you send out a cold e-mail

Have you received a selfish e-mail? (Did it make you not want to respond?)
Have you sent a selfish e-mail? (Did the receipient not respond?)

- WT

 

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[Tom.V]

Just wanted to point out that the same can be said for cold calls or any other means of communicating with prospects. But you are spot on with your analysis.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

As someone who receives these types of email pretty much daily, let me give you a summation of your email, at least how I interpret it:

Hello!

You know how to execute.

My buddy and I do not. (But we have a billion dollar idea.)

We want you to execute it for us.

Give us a call.

BTW, this is a GREAT post so SPEED to you.

 

[theag]

Thing is, we're both business guys and don't know the FIRST THING about building a GOOD site. That's why I'm reaching out to you.

You have an incredible technical knowledge and I want to involve you in this process (Give you money!!)

So you admit that you are too lazy to do your homework before contacting him AND you insult him in the same sentence.

Then in the next sentence you praise his technical knowledge, while just 1 second ago you insulted him for not knowing a single thing about building a site.

And you are wondering what went wrong? Seriously?

The email sounds like a 12 year old female groupie writing to justin bieber, just in business context. Not selfish, just stupid.

This thread is just as epic as Omerta's recent "what does your day look like" OP.

 

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[workingtitle]

So you admit that you are too lazy to do your homework before contacting him AND you insult him in the same sentence.

Then in the next sentence you praise his technical knowledge, while just 1 second ago you insulted him for not knowing a single thing about building a site.

What are you talking about...? Did you even read my post? Your entire post is incredibly offensive and wrong.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

while just 1 second ago you insulted him for not knowing a single thing about building a site.

I think he was referring to him and his partner (having no skills) but the guru/mentor does have skills. (incredible tech knowledge.)

 

[AllenCrawley]

I think he was referring to him and his partner (having no skills) but the guru/mentor does have skills. (incredible tech knowledge.)

Haha, @theag, talk about a face palm.

 

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[Thriftypreneur]

The problem isn't that you were being selfish, it's that you weren't playing to his selfishness.

People, by their very nature, are all about "me, me, me." Even the most kind-hearted soul on the planet spends the vast majority of their time thinking about themselves, how to get what they want, how to do what they want, etc.

The guy didn't refuse your offer because you were selfish, he refused you because he was selfish.

The moment you realize that people, all people, really only give a shit about what you can do for them and what they can get from you, and apply that to your sales and business, is the moment you can start getting some great results.

While the above may sound cynical, its pretty much true. Not saying people don't do things to help others or to be kind, I'm simply saying that the majority of the time, they are in "me, me, me" mode and understanding that can lead to sales.

And good post, by the way.

 

[jon.a]

Send him back another email thanking him for teaching you a lesson, drop a link to this thread.

jon

 

[1step]

Hey, Neil Patel wrote a blog post that I found interesting that somewhat addresses a way you could better attack a situation such as this.

How I Built My First Business Through Email Marketing

If you attack it how Neil did and analyze his business and figure out a way to help him I think it could help you out much more in the long run. See the email Neil sent to "Michael" and his four quick points that he outlined.

I know your post didnt specifically ask for other solutions but I just read this QuickSprout blog post a few days ago and felt it fit perfectly in this conversation and could help you or others.

Good thread by the way!

 

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[AllenCrawley]

Hey, Neil Patel wrote a blog post that I found interesting that somewhat addresses a way you could better attack a situation such as this.

Yes ^^^ This is what came to mind for me as well. Great article.

Also, I recently watched a talk by James Altucher where he talks about his failed attempt at cold emailing and then what he did to get their attention.

Forward the video to 8:12...

[video=youtube_share;CsuCFL-SQLg]http://youtu.be/CsuCFL-SQLg?t=8m12s[/video]

 

[DennisD]

Speed+

I'm about to be cold emailing a few people if I can't find their phone numbers. I'm going to have to keep this in mind.

 

[Pinnacle]

I once got the president of a regional supermarket chain to call me back on a sales letter I wrote specifically to "whom it may concern". I described specific dynamics of their business, how their shoppers response to my offer would specifically help their stores, what I would do for their shoppers that would increase their loyalty to the stores and hard numbers on what my offer would cost them and how much money they would make by taking it.

I had no idea he would be the one calling me back. It just so happened he was the one who made decisions on the subject matter I was describing. The point was that I made the letter about them (the store chain). He even has a gatekeeper (who I later got to know by first name) but it was the president of the company who picked up the phone to call me back following my very first outreach attempt.

Of course, the right message at the right time had something to do with it, too. He is normally a VERY hard man to reach and he called me back at a time on a day that was not as busy as usual.

You would be amazed at what you can accomplish by talking about "them".

 

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[TK1]

How to Get George Bush or the CEO of Google on the Phone

 

[TedM]

Also, I recently watched a talk by James Altucher where he talks about his failed attempt at cold emailing and then what he did to get their attention.

I just listened to that talk - there was a massive insight there, when he talks about selling 50% of a business... and how much more engaged the partner is, than were he to buy 3%....

very very powerful - when i think about looking for partners.

 

[Sir Ingenious]

"Giving, Getting to 'YES', Offering more services and then really building well."

Significant quote from that video above.

 

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[H. Palmer]

A time saving technique for investors is to rapidly scan all the sentences in a first email from an entrepreneur and count the number of "I´s". "I this", "I that". In the opening post of this thread you see roughly the same number of sentences and I´s.

My gut feeling is that the drop off lies somewhere at one "I" for every five sentences. At or below that, it´s ok for an investor to proceed with the entrepreneur. Above that the entrepreneur is unable to create enough value by himself and is too much in "me me me" mode.

 

[socaldude]

I wrote a thread a while back titled "The Parallel Between Entrepreneurship and Relationships".

In it I explained exactly how relationships are formed.

The problem here was that you demonstrated ZERO VALUE to his selfish NEEDS. We are all selfish creatures, no exceptions there is no such thing as altruism, yes I said it, there is NO such thing as altruism. You become friends with people / partner with people because you are BOTH selfish. Selfishness is not bad, quite the contrary.

Think of a Venn Diagram, The two opposing circles are opposing forces of selfishness and the middle part where the two circles meet is called MUTUAL BENEFITS. This is where you become friends, peers, partners, etc. This is where you say: I have something that can benefit you! And you have something that can benefit me.

@ workingtitle

Here is my radical argument: You were not being selfish ENOUGH.

I know it sounds crazy but heres why: What you were doing was SELF-SABOTAGING, the opposite of selfishness!

The biggest thing I have ever F*cken learned in life is that the more selfish you are, the more friends and partners you make. Why? Because you see that its completely in your benefit to be of value to others! To benefit, to contribute, to help out etc. This in turn helps you!

When Warren Buffett donates billions he is actually being selfish. Think about that very carefully. He does that to FEEL good about himself, isnt that selfish?

In Philosophy this is called: Enlightened Self-Interest. Where the more selfish you are the better person you become! The more friendly and the more generous you become because you see that its in your best interest!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

This needs a bump -- but I doubt the message would get to the intended person.

 

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[RogueInnovation]

Pretty relevant for me recently, so I really dug this post.

Edit:
I finally started getting what this meant when I read that Altucher thread. Pure magic

Thanks for bumping this

 

[TedM]

This thread needs to be read w/the Altschuler thread - together they offer a complete view of how to work:

1. target your audience correctly
2. give value for free,
3. earn trust

 

[zoomzoom]

This is thread is a fantastic lesson WorkingTitle, thanks for sharing your "what's in it for me" insight!

I have to say the first thing that stood out like a farm tractor in the fast lane is not that the recipient didn't agree to work with you but that you got him to open your email so quickly, you said "a minute later"...

and I wondered... what on earth was your subject line?

If this is a "very successful entrepreneur" I'm guessing his inbox is overflowing with mail. The content of your mail may have been self serving but the subject line HAD to have gotten his attention. Do you mind sharing what that was?

 

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[RogueInnovation]

Here is something that is helping me right now, I try to look into the person better and get a better feel first:
- What are his main guiding principles? What are his aims? What are his dreams?
- What irritates him about his current interactions and processes? (maybe a project is eating up way too much of his time?)
- Who does he usually turn to? What does he usually ask from those he hires and pays?
- What kinds of businesses does he like? What is his ideal day at work?

If you start asking these questions, you might feel them better. I think the next step is being as unintrusive as possible and not taking up their time or consuming their creative spark, but you don't want to be timid with that, you want to be confident because you put the effort in.

 

[workingtitle]

and I wondered... what on earth was your subject line?

"15 minute call on Tuesday"