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My First Product Launch !

JokerCrazyBeatz

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Copy needs some work, just spelling and grammar, for professionalism, but it's looking better imo
Yea I'm terrible with grammar haha ,I might need to find someone to proof it for me
 
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andrewhook

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Just checked it from my iPhone and it's not bad.

dc0c94985917ad0d8211503f8f5c78dc.png


Surely copy need to be improved but we are on the right path.

Now I truly recommend you to start using InspectLet!




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Marge H.

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I'm butting in here to say this still isn't making me trip over myself to get a copy. How is what you've got going to benefit ME? As a prospect, I don't care about you or your background or why you're doing this or anything else (unless you're famous.) All I want to know is what's in it for ME and you haven't shown me that.

Keep going though -- you're getting closer!

How about something like, "Top music producer reveals secrets for creating award-winning rap songs. Now YOU can learn the strategy all the pros use!"

Just my 2 cents. :)
 
Last edited:

Waspy

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I'm butting in here to say this still isn't making me trip over myself to get a copy. How is what you've got going to benefit ME? As a prospect, I don't care about you or your background or why you're doing this or anything else (unless you're famous.) All I want to know is what's in it for ME and you haven't shown me that.

Keep going though -- you're getting closer! :)

While normally I would agree, the reader wouldn't care about his backstory. Ok this occasion I am inclined to disagree.

He is selling his knowledge of the industry, without a backstory I would be thinking "Who are you to tell me how to rap? You don't know shit" When in fact he has a number of years of experience which is where the value lies for the reader
 
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Marge H.

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While normally I would agree, the reader wouldn't care about his backstory. Ok this occasion I am inclined to disagree.

Wouldn't that apply to nearly every ad out there?

I'm saying the landing page doesn't need to focus on his background. The report itself would be the best place to do that.

The only goal of a landing page/squeeze page is to get an email. That's it. Leave the actual selling for later.
 

andrewhook

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Wouldn't that apply to nearly every ad out there?

I'm saying the landing page doesn't need to focus on his background. The report itself would be the best place to do that.

The only goal of a landing page/squeeze page is to get an email. That's it. Leave the actual selling for later.

In fact, his landing doesn't focus on his background. There's just a phrase about it!

He is selling his knowledge of the industry, without a backstory I would be thinking "Who are you to tell me how to rap? You don't know shit" When in fact he has a number of years of experience which is where the value lies for the reader

Totally agree with you!

Of course, the page isn't completed yet!
 

Mr.Chaos

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http://www.halbertology.com/?hop=halberts

It is for a course on copywriting. However, if you can analyze this very sales page that course becomes almost unneeded.

Do you see how the copy pulls you in?

Your landing page should read with the same effect.
 
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G

Guest34764

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"Fire warden won't let me hand this training guide out in public, because it makes those mix tape fiyaa"

Stop while you're ahead.

To @JokerCrazyBeatz shouldn't your ad give off a "rapper" feel.The background of the landing page looks a bit too clean.Change it up a bit to something a bit "harder".
 

andrewhook

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Now it's 1000 times better than the last time!
Prices table has still to be improved :)

PS.
you have your domain, don't leave your gmail address as a contact :)
create your own email address (like info@jokercrazymusic.com) instead. Probably some mail addresses are included within your hosting!
 

Waspy

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Looks miles better! But, is it a different product/service?
 

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