My Fastlane idea with test landing pages-honest feedback wanted

[Vic]

I thought I would show this first to the INSIDERS, here is my Fastlane idea and two landing pages to test it.

The gist of my idea is "use big ad agency methods to market your small business" and it is actually based on a process we follow with all new clients. If you haven’t guessed by now, I work in an ad agency and I was really impressed with the method established. The thing is it is focused on big clients. So I thought to myself, small business owners could really use something like this in order to not only create successful campaigns online, but build a brand in the process. Members would pay a monthly fee to get access to all the training material and the forums, plus one on one coaching with me and other experts I plan on bringing aboard.

So,I came up with the iStepMethodâ„¢ and it stands for:

• Investigate- this is where you research your target audience
• Strategy-How to create a strategy for your campaign
• Tactical plan-Based on the strategy, build a tactical plan
• Evaluate-learn to gain insights from the execution of your plan
• Performance-learn to optimize based on insights and increase performance

There is a shit ton more detail that goes into each and in the near future I will do an AMA about advertising online for the INSIDERS, however, right now I would really appreciate if you could give some feedback regarding a few things;

My idea overall, would you as a small business owner be interested in something like this?
The landing pages themselves, I am going to start a/b testing with these two:
(btw, it won’t reside on that domain)
Long form
Why Spend $1000s Dealing with an Ad Agency When You Can Have All Their Trade Secrets for Less Than $3.50/Day?
Short form
Learn Ad Agency Trade Secrets for Less Than $3.50/Day?

I really believe in this, however, I will drop it cold turkey if my test campaign doesn't convert.

Thanks and let me know if you have any questions!

 

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[SeanKelly]

Websites like that always seem like a gimmick to me

 

[theag]

Investigate- this is where you research your target audience
Strategy-How to create a strategy for your campaign
Tactical plan-Based on the strategy, build a tactical plan
Evaluate-learn to gain insights from the execution of your plan
Performance-learn to optimize based on insights and increase performance

sounds really innovative

 

[Vic]

sounds really innovative
View attachment 4324

Not sure what your image is supposed to represent, but I guess it's sarcasm? Do you have anything to add beyond that?

Websites like that always seem like a gimmick to me

You mean sales pages? They do, yet they work. Some of the most popular membership programs around almost all have a sales page.

 

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[SeanKelly]

I understand. At least yours is somewhat concise and doesn't include obnoxious colors. I just hate scrolling through the page knowing that after all the "too good to be true" information, there will be the inevitable price tag.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

My idea overall, would you as a small business owner be interested in something like this?

Yes, but not in the manner in which you have presented it.

Take some time and read a few books on copywriting. (There are a few listed in the bookstore [Books tab])

Your headline, and subheadlines are NOT BENEFIT ORIENTED. And because of this, I didn't read any further.

What you have here is a great example of a "feature" oriented ad that, unfortunately, won't convert.

In other words, they won't compel a person to action.

Here are your headlines:

Learn Ad Agency Trade Secrets for Less Than $3.50/Day?

Learn the ad agency 5 step method
Video training modules
Quick start checklists and questionnaires
Member only access
Advanced presentations and flowcharts
One-on-One access
A monthly newsletter

Now let me ask you ... why on earth would any of these listed items cause someone to say "YES! I want this!!"

What good does "video training modules" do for me, and my business? How does that improve my sales? I have no FN idea!

What good does "agency trade secrets" do for me, and my business? How does that improve my sales? I have no FN idea!

What good does "Quick start checklists and questionnaires" do for me, and my business? How does that improve my sales? I have no FN idea!

You've listed features, not benefits.

You've made the user extrapolate, guess, and speculate on the benefits of your approach. You've wasted your headlines which are the engine to your copy. The headlines will make people read further, or STOP.

I stopped.

You've made it highly unlikely a user will read any further because your headlines lack punch, and they lack benefit.

This is, and will be, grossly ineffective.

You seriously need to revamp your copy to highlight the BENEFIT of your approach. DO NOT MAKE YOUR USERS THINK.

Translate all your subheadlines into the real, tangible benefit.

For example "The agency secret that launched XYZ brand to create 1,400 Facebook friends in less than 3 days"
For example "2 quickstart checklists that will immediately expose your greatest earning opportunity, one that might be hidden below your nose! This one will shock you!"

Your potential customer can give two shits about all the things you've chosen to highlight.

No one cares, and no one will care.

In order to move money, you have to move emotions... in other words, you have to make them care and the only way to do that is to tell them the exact benefits, and how they will impact their life and/or business.

Hope this helps.

 

[Eskil]

In addition to what MJ has stated - the first thing that struck me with both of those pages was: "Who is this?"
Because - there is no logo or business identity in any shape or form at the top of the page. It just starts with a question / headline, but you have nothing identifying a brand, a product name, a service name, or anything.

It's like going into a big box store that has no name above the door as you walk in. You have no idea who you are dealing with or even what type of business they are in.

At the very least, place something in a header that tells me "oh ok, so this offer is from company X" - or make a simple "The iStep Method" logo there. Something.

 

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[Vic]

I really appreciate the feedback MJ. Eskil, you are correct, I have to add the logo. Alright fellas, I will revise and repost, thanks again!