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My failures have led me here

Zamin

New Contributor
User Power
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167%
May 30, 2021
3
5
Hello everybody,

5 years ago I started studying international business management and Japanese at a university in South Germany, at the time I thought I had it all figured out, probably like most 21 year olds. What I didn't foresee was my then relationship turning out to be more toxic than any animal you could find in Australia. I was basically going to uni from 8-5 then working from 6-9, sleeping at 11 (rince and repeat). After 3 years I was of course miserable, especially because uni didn't seem to teach me anything actually valuable but just either selling me half truths or useless courses simply to fill in the curriculum. I realized I didn't want to end up with jobs that could be janked away from me as soon as the company was feeling like it, I wanted to be my own man but mama didn't raise no quitter....so I didn't quit and instead my body did, my psyche did.

I went from a sporty, optimistic martial artist, to a cynical, obese, clinically depressed and on the verge of suicide piece of crap. After my then gf left me for my uni friend, I hit rock buttom because I got so depressed that I failed my course and was thrown out of uni. I was done, I wanted change, I did an apprenticeship to become a sexual therapist, which I did but not to earn money but mainly to simply help people (which is why my rate was quite affordable) it worked I actually changed some people's lives and felt better about myself.

I started studying again but this time international engineering and management, not for myself but so that my middle eastern/asian mom would stop seeing me as a failure...But it's not my future I wanted to become independent not only for me but for my dreams of actually changing the world for a little better by building special orphanages that would treat the children with love and compassion so they see it as a home instead of a facility, to help people get the medical treatments they need in countries without free medical care.

I need money for these things so after I closed my sexual therapy I gathered up all the money I could grab and invested into two franchise businesses.

One is a service delivering goods from a bakery directly to the customers right after production before breakfast time, the other is a tech repair service.

So atm my days consider me waking up at 3:30AM delivering goods till about 8AM, going back home and working from 10-6 at the tech repair store, while studying for uni at the store.

I read the Millionare fastlane after I had already invested into these franchise and now I slightly regret those investments but then I thought I will use these as opportunities to gather experience and think of my own franchise/service/business ideas.

I'm giving my best to improve and learn from my mistakes and I'm happy to be at a forum where I'm able to speak to like minded people, because honestly most of my family and friends think I've gone insane effectively working 16 hours a day 6-7 days a week but I keep telling them I want to do things that most people can't so I'm doing stuff that most people won't.

Happy to be here and thank you for accepting me into this forum.

Zamin
 
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kleine2

Bronze Contributor
Read Fastlane!
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Sep 15, 2013
155
210
Hello everybody,

5 years ago I started studying international business management and Japanese at a university in South Germany, at the time I thought I had it all figured out, probably like most 21 year olds. What I didn't foresee was my then relationship turning out to be more toxic than any animal you could find in Australia. I was basically going to uni from 8-5 then working from 6-9, sleeping at 11 (rince and repeat). After 3 years I was of course miserable, especially because uni didn't seem to teach me anything actually valuable but just either selling me half truths or useless courses simply to fill in the curriculum. I realized I didn't want to end up with jobs that could be janked away from me as soon as the company was feeling like it, I wanted to be my own man but mama didn't raise no quitter....so I didn't quit and instead my body did, my psyche did.

I went from a sporty, optimistic martial artist, to a cynical, obese, clinically depressed and on the verge of suicide piece of crap. After my then gf left me for my uni friend, I hit rock buttom because I got so depressed that I failed my course and was thrown out of uni. I was done, I wanted change, I did an apprenticeship to become a sexual therapist, which I did but not to earn money but mainly to simply help people (which is why my rate was quite affordable) it worked I actually changed some people's lives and felt better about myself.

I started studying again but this time international engineering and management, not for myself but so that my middle eastern/asian mom would stop seeing me as a failure...But it's not my future I wanted to become independent not only for me but for my dreams of actually changing the world for a little better by building special orphanages that would treat the children with love and compassion so they see it as a home instead of a facility, to help people get the medical treatments they need in countries without free medical care.

I need money for these things so after I closed my sexual therapy I gathered up all the money I could grab and invested into two franchise businesses.

One is a service delivering goods from a bakery directly to the customers right after production before breakfast time, the other is a tech repair service.

So atm my days consider me waking up at 3:30AM delivering goods till about 8AM, going back home and working from 10-6 at the tech repair store, while studying for uni at the store.

I read the Millionare fastlane after I had already invested into these franchise and now I slightly regret those investments but then I thought I will use these as opportunities to gather experience and think of my own franchise/service/business ideas.

I'm giving my best to improve and learn from my mistakes and I'm happy to be at a forum where I'm able to speak to like minded people, because honestly most of my family and friends think I've gone insane effectively working 16 hours a day 6-7 days a week but I keep telling them I want to do things that most people can't so I'm doing stuff that most people won't.

Happy to be here and thank you for accepting me into this forum.

Zamin
What failures?
Good for you, you did some amazing things :)
 

Zamin

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
167%
May 30, 2021
3
5
What failures?
Good for you, you did some amazing things :)
Mainly me failing my first studies, while building up student debt as well as letting myself be dragged to the point of suicide because of the studies and the toxic relationship.
Tbh I also have difficulties accepting praise because I always think that I'm a fraud and everything I built up could collapse any second. Guess I have a long way to go
 
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Zamin

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
167%
May 30, 2021
3
5
Exactly my thought. You are doing alot.

Right now do you feel happy? If not, why?
I'm trying to be happy but I keep on having thoughts of being a fraud because the businesses I've built up haven't built up enough revenue/income to actually make me a living yet. I am constantly improving mentally but I'm still somewhat stuck in the past but working on it to overcome these thoughts and fears :)
 

simplymoto

Bronze Contributor
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
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Sep 21, 2019
216
191
I'm trying to be happy but I keep on having thoughts of being a fraud because the businesses I've built up haven't built up enough revenue/income to actually make me a living yet. I am constantly improving mentally but I'm still somewhat stuck in the past but working on it to overcome these thoughts and fears :)

I am sure you have moments of happiness and negative (fraud) when you think about ur business. Can you try to visualize at which moment when you feel happy and when you feel like a fraud?
 

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