Moving in with friends to pursue the fastlane? In a new country?

[DreamLund]

26/5-23
As the title speaks
What is your opinion on moving in with 2 friends and going after the dream life side by side?
Is there any up- and downsides that comes to your mind?
Ideas on how we could use this friendship to our best advantage while not limiting each other?

Countries
Cyprus/ Malta/ Greece/ Spain
Currently
Scandinavia

Disclaimer
I know there will be a lot of unanswered questions here that will pop up.
Our thought is that this will create a lot of discomfort and challenge us to grow, and ultimately, succeed in business.
We will of course discuss this A LOT, and come to our own conclusions!
But insights would be really cool.
Short about the three of us!
Me:
21 years old man. Moved from home at age 15.
Quitting job: 11/7-23, $20k in savings.
A burning desire and obsession to reach the dream lifestyle through entrepreneurship.
Bought a 1000$ course in ecom space. tried the slowlane strategy to wealth aswell..
Books: TMF , Unscripted , $100m offer, Win Friends & Influence People, RichDadPD, Outwining the devil, think and grow rich +more.
Friend:
22 years old. Living with his parents in the same town as me.
No job after 15/7-23, $10k in savings.
Dropshipping business that did $28k revenue.
Now working on his own product with higher barrier to entry. (Not launched)
He only has 1 focus and it is his business
Books: Same books as "me"
MY GIRLFRIEND:
19 years old. Living with her parents hours away. Just about to finish our version of "high school".
No job, $2,5k in savings
Interested/reading about eCommerce.
We haven't seen a burning desire yet from her but she is really interested.
Books: Law of attraction, TMF , Think And Grow Rich, RichdadPoorDad, Atomic habits + 1-2 more

Things/Interests that we share:
-Personal Development
-Some of the goals in life, ex(Freedom/Location independence)
-"Escape" our old versions
-Fitness (Running+Weight training)
-No social media, no alcohol, remove old friends. in short: removing ALL distractions.
-To make each other the best possible version!
-Knows each other well (6+ years)

5/31-23
UPDATE!
I won't be moving in with my girlfriend!
But there’s a high chance that me and my male friend will travel/move in together.

Read #25 for more.

 

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[Mikkel]

I don't see a problem with moving in with people that want to pursue business goals. Others on this forum have done the same. You share the cost of rent and utilities. If all 3 of you continue to be dedicated to the grind, then it will probably be of benefit.

Watch out if your "friend" and "girlfriend" begin to lose interest. You don't want that affecting your drive.

In general, it seems like a better idea than paying full price to rent an apartment for yourself.

Best of luck!

 

[DistressedDenim]

How did you find Fastlane friends??? This has been very difficult for me.

Without knowing who they are, I can't spot any downsides of this. Just be wary about going into business with them. I prefer going solo because business partners usually aren't worth it. Just feed off the collective motivation you have between you guys and avoid any partnerships unless it is genuinely worth it. It usually isn't.

 

[Red]

Absolutely do it. What a great opportunity to start living life.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Generally speaking, moving in with friends with the same goals is a good move if you're young and with few responsibilities. In fact, it's the opportunity and experience of a lifetime.

However in this case, you're moving in with a couple, and they're young. This is problematic. If that relationship goes bad, you're in the middle -- including your living situation. And based on probability, the relationship will eventually end.

Or am I misreading? And there is no relationship?

"girlfriend" -- not sure if that means romance, or just a female friend.

 

[Johnny boy]

Nah don’t move the girlfriend in bro. She’s gonna just eat up your time and make you lazy and cause problems with your friend and try to isolate you and keep you to herself. Chicks want relationships to develop. That’s how they get you.

Keep it just you and your bro. Or bring in a third businessman.

Stay focused on the mission and don’t get caught in the same trap as everyone else!

 

[MarcusRich]

Generally speaking, moving in with friends with the same goals is a good move if you're young and with few responsibilities. In fact, it's the opportunity and experience of a lifetime.

However in this case, you're moving in with a couple, and they're young. This is problematic. If that relationship goes bad, you're in the middle -- including your living situation. And based on probability, the relationship will eventually end.

Or am I misreading? And there is no relationship?

"girlfriend" -- not sure if that means romance, or just a female friend.

Totally agree with this take. I seems like you guys have the right mindset but are getting into a bad situation on purpose expecting it to work as a growth opportunity. Stuff like that having a positive impact on a small business is EXTREMELY rare. If the relationship blows up or as a result of removing all others you end up in a triangle or cheat situation as young males it will go badly. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Have a backup plan in mind when you go forward assuming you do. Don’t be afraid to take a sales, marketing, or accounting job to make ends meet as well. The upside of those jobs is that a general knowledge of them is exceptionally valuable to an entrepreneur. You could even get yourself into an intrepreneur situation and find massive success with that. Plan, act, analyze, repeat. (Act being most important)

 

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[DreamLund]

I don't see a problem with moving in with people that want to pursue business goals. Others on this forum have done the same. You share the cost of rent and utilities. If all 3 of you continue to be dedicated to the grind, then it will probably be of benefit.

Watch out if your "friend" and "girlfriend" begin to lose interest. You don't want that affecting your drive.

Thanks alot!
Yes we have discussed all of this and I too belive it’s really f*ing important that the motivation and interest stay high to not lose drive

 

[DreamLund]

How did you find Fastlane friends??? This has been very difficult for me.

Just be wary about going into business with them. I

Ok so basically I used to be a HARDCORE slowlaner. Saving 75% of my income into the compound machine while being misserable, but I knew there was more.

Then 10 months ago. My male friend saw my interest in business and that i was ”different”. So he showed me TMF and i actually had a FTE while reading it, and since then my life has turned upside down, into a single focus: pursue entrepreneurship.

5 months ago me + my male friend began asking questions to my girlfriend about her life, her purpose and what beliefs she had about things. Then we convinced her to read TMF , because there was something about her that made us belive in her too. Now she can’t unsee her new reality and is sparked to build her dream life through business.

Really inspiring and cool story

 

[DreamLund]

Generally speaking, moving in with friends with the same goals is a good move if you're young and with few responsibilities. In fact, it's the opportunity and experience of a lifetime.

However in this case, you're moving in with a couple, and they're young. This is problematic. If that relationship goes bad, you're in the middle -- including your living situation. And based on probability, the relationship will eventually end.

Or am I misreading? And there is no relationship?

"girlfriend" -- not sure if that means romance, or just a female friend.

My bad MJ.
It’s actually my girlfriend.

We have been together for 6 years now.
Seeing eachother one weekend per month since start until now, and she has been there through my WHOLE journey actually.

(2017)From eating doritos, being semi-fat and playing xbox during highschool + archery
Living in a students appartment 600 miles from home
(2021)Then 1 year in the military (Tank)
(2022)Then I got into the national team in archery and went onto a world championship
(2022-present) Building my dream body and dedicating my LIFE to entrepreneurship

I think it would be an experience of a lifetime, yet I’m a bit afraid.
Our communication with each other are 10/10 and we respect everyone’s goals, but as you said: it’s a bit problematic that it’s a romantic relationship

By the way:
Thanks for what you have done for the three of us MJ!
Our friendship and my relationship have NEVER been this good before and it has sparked everything to life again.

 

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[DreamLund]

It seems like you guys have the right mindset but are getting into a bad situation on purpose expecting it to work as a growth opportunity. Stuff like that having a positive impact on a small business is EXTREMELY rare.

Yes, I belive we all share the right mindset.

But you don’t belive it will work as a growth opportunity for us personally? Or business-wise? Would be awesome if you could explain this further.

Have a backup plan in mind when you go forward assuming you do. Don’t be afraid to take a sales, marketing, or accounting job to make ends meet as well. Plan, act, analyze, repeat. (Act being most important)

Will do!
Thank you Marcus

 

[DreamLund]

Nah don’t move the girlfriend in bro. She’s gonna just eat up your time and make you lazy and cause problems with your friend and try to isolate you and keep you to herself. Chicks want relationships to develop. That’s how they get you.

Keep it just you and your bro. Or bring in a third businessman.

Stay focused on the mission and don’t get caught in the same trap as everyone else!

I love this take actually. Straight forward.

You can check my answer to MJ to give you more information about the relationship. But
-What if we force her to be ”egoistic” and only work on herself? Or scheduling daily so we all know when it’s fine to hang out?

-Or just remove sex from the equation and act like 2 friends focused on our own mission to succeed?
I will bring this up when we meet and discuss this further.

 

[DreamLund]

to be clear!
All comments will be discussed and be taken into consideration between the three of us.
We understand that communication is KEY and no one wants to screw it up because we really want to succeed.

 

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[MarcusRich]

But you don’t belive it will work as a growth opportunity for us personally? Or business-wise? Would be awesome if you could explain this further.

Business wise. If you end up having issues as a group it will no doubt distract from time that would be better leveraged productively. It could impact your friendship and relationships but honestly at your age if you’re still spending time with these people in 10 years it will be an exceptionally rare thing.

 

[DreamLund]

Business wise. If you end up having issues as a group it will no doubt distract from time that would be better leveraged productively. It could impact your friendship and relationships but honestly at your age if you’re still spending time with these people in 10 years it will be an exceptionally rare thing.

Interesting take!
If we reverse it.
Is it better to stay as it is, 2 of us living with their parent with all the distractions that comes with it? Or do you have another solution/idea on your mind?
Thanks

 

[Ing]

Do you 3 work on the same business? Or everyone on his own?
If all on the same, I wouldn t give away the ownership, so if one or two leave, you still have the business.
I see it as a good idea.


Why leave Scandinavia?
Southern countries are warmer. Would be a big reason for me.

Houses in Norway are cheap, electricity is cheap.

So where to go depends on what you want.

A good friend is thinking about Norway, as electricity is cheap, and building an e intensive business.

 

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[DreamLund]

Do you 3 work on the same business? Or everyone on his own?
If all on the same, I wouldn t give away the ownership, so if one or two leave, you still have the business.
I see it as a good idea.


Why leave Scandinavia?
Southern countries are warmer. Would be a big reason for me.

Houses in Norway are cheap, electricity is cheap.

So where to go depends on what you want.

A good friend is thinking about Norway, as electricity is cheap, and building an e intensive business.

No no no, we will build our future separately so we won’t be dependent on someone else.

Why leave scandinavia?
Mostly because we would like to grow, put ourselves in a totally different environment, and ”start over” our lives with new habits and beliefs. Hope it explains it
Thanks for your feedback

 

[Lyzmin]

Nah don’t move the girlfriend in bro. She’s gonna just eat up your time and make you lazy and cause problems with your friend and try to isolate you and keep you to herself. Chicks want relationships to develop. That’s how they get you.

Keep it just you and your bro. Or bring in a third businessman.

Stay focused on the mission and don’t get caught in the same trap as everyone else!

Exactly the reason I'm moving to another city in The Netherlands at the end of June.
Getting too comfortable living together with my gf in Amsterdam.

Getting a room with just the necessary facilities and will work at a start-up hub with other entrepreneurs.
Will go back Saturday evening till Sunday evening. Actually feels like back to my early sales days.

@HlundAlbin a suggestion:

• Research which continent you want to be in > research countries > research cities. GO for it.
• Make a top 3, focusing on entrepreneur-friendly countries. (The Netherlands for me, but I'm biased ;p)
• Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I've lived in different places in my life and learned a lot from the experiences.
I definitely recommend this!

Good luck!

 

[DreamLund]

Exactly the reason I'm moving to another city in The Netherlands at the end of June.
Getting too comfortable living together with my gf in Amsterdam.

How did you speak with her, and what did you tell her so that she doesn’t ”collapse”?
I have never lived with my girl but my weekends with her shows me kind of a scary truth.
I’m Comfortable! sex, non-productive, not focused, sex again, my thoughts are everywhere and it’s hard to be selfish and go my own way even if she would allow me too.

Getting a room with just the necessary facilities and will work at a start-up hub with other entrepreneurs.

Exactly what i have now, except I hate my location because of memories and unmotivated people that ”expect” things from me and it holds me back a bit.

Research which continent you want to be in > research countries > research cities. GO for it.

• Make a top 3, focusing on entrepreneur-friendly countries. (The Netherlands for me, but I'm biased ;p)
• Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I love it. Thanks for the response and I would love to know how you dealt with the relationship!

 

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[Lyzmin]

How did you speak with her, and what did you tell her so that she doesn’t ”collapse”?

Simple: Make it about your now and future together.
Work out your 10/5/1 Planesy together

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKt59HIl8Ok&list=PL7wg6TNPn5JPtovoocj-_v1QwWXwXgaV6&index=6&t=7s

Video from MJ on Youtube if you need a reminder.

From there It's about building your support system together and making it clear why you're moving.
Every Sunday night when I'm back it's date night. No exception.
Does your girlfriend want quantity or quality time?

My girlfriend supports me in full of all my ambitions and the other way around.
Otherwise, it would never work between us and she knows that.

Exactly what i have now, except I hate my location because of memories and unmotivated people that ”expect” things from me and it holds me back a bit.

The answer is in your reaction. Solve what you hate. So move.

 

[DreamLund]

My girlfriend supports me in full of all my ambitions and the other way around.
Otherwise, it would never work between us and she knows that.

Damn. I think this is true for my girlfriend too, which makes me more confident
Question: Is she an entrepreneur or is she working a job, or not at all?

Mine wants to get into business for herself but has not found a specific ”road” yet, if that could make a difference.
Thanks Lyzmin

 

[Lyzmin]

Damn. I think this is true for my girlfriend too, which makes me more confident
Question: Is she an entrepreneur or is she working a job, or not at all?

Mine wants to get into business for herself but has not found a specific ”road” yet, if that could make a difference.
Thanks Lyzmin

My GF is a student. Studying medicine to become a surgeon. She'll be in university for a long time.
But it doesn't matter what she wants to do, as long as she follows her dream.

If your girlfriend wants to be in business and you show her you support her and give her freedom.
How can she not give it to you?

What are you going to do this week to be execution focused?

 

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[vladikcm]

Hey here from Spain!

Probably not a good moment to make business here, entrepreneurs have a high tax to pay. If you want to be near Spain, I recommend you go to Andorra, which is less strict with stealing your wallet! A lot of entrepreneurs go there because of the facilities to live there.

Good luck!

 

[Dockid]

Its a good plan minus moving in with your girlfriend. It ruins the dynamic that you will have with your friend/biz partner. Living with your girlfriend will create so many potential issues and headaches that will disrupt your focus.

 

[DreamLund]

Its a good plan minus moving in with your girlfriend. It ruins the dynamic that you will have with your friend/biz partner. Living with your girlfriend will create so many potential issues and headaches that will disrupt your focus.

Thanks for your reply, much appreciated

 

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[DreamLund]

Huge update!
I won't move in with my girlfriend..
BUT I'm almost certain that I will travel/ move in together with my male friend!

So for the last evenings I've done a lot of staring-at-a-wall thinking and put the pieces together. I've concluded that the risks of bringing in my girlfriend that close into my life, at this stage in life, and at this age (20) is dangerous as hell, both for my love-relationship, but it could potentially ruin my friendship with my male friend.

Here are some of the factors that I weighed heavily
1. DISTRACTION, no matter how hard i try. When I'm with her, my ambitions and drive and to reach my goals, drops to the floor. They become second priority, because my brain wants to: take care of her, show her love, have sex, feed her, make her happy, give my attention to her and protect her.

2. ONLY ONE FOCUS When I'm alone or hanging out with my male friend my desire to reach my goals is definite, there is nothing in-between, succeed or die. When I'm alone my thoughts goes: I'm gonna get out of this, I will reach my goals, it's just a question about time. I have no responsibilities, I'm gonna build my dream body, Me and my buddy will make it.

3. HER SHORT TERM GOALS The goals were: Take responsibility, grow, get away from home, be uncomfortable, and find out what it is that I want to do and have to do to reach my long term goals.
The problem here is that we probably would ruin all of her wants too. She wouldn't grow because I would've taken car of her. Also, she doesn't really know what to put her focus into yet which she also has to figure out.

4. CHASE TWO RABBITS, CATCH NONE Right now It's impossible for me to try to get both of the best worlds, an Addicting Love-relationship and at the same time chasing my dreams through fastlane entrepreneurship. If I had picked my relationship first, my dreams would die and she would've had a sad boyfriend. If I pick my dreams first, the worst thing that can happen is that my girlfriend would've been selfish and not support me, which she did not! She had a big smile on her face when I told her we couldn't be both business partners and love partners at this stage.

5. MY GUT FEELING What would the scripted 99% do? MOVE IN together with your girlfriend! Yes, ignore your goals, settle for less, get a kid when you're both bored as hell. Get comfortable, stuck at the job I hate in a small town that sucks. It's all there! MJ.s books!

Her reaction?
I held a 8 minute speech about everything that I had to say for her and I expected her to feel left out, sad and disappointed. But I was so wrong, when I came to the important parts she started to smile ear to ear.
She supported me fully and said that it would probably kill both of our long term goals otherwise. She saw how it could benefit her, how she would be forced to take action alone and Grow. She would also get the fantastic memories only while removing all the mundane regular life we could've had. She mentioned that she had in fact seen how my drive disappear when I'm around her and that she got a lot of attention, not focusing on myself.

Thanks everyone for helping me solve a part of the question: if I should move in with my girlfriend at this stage!