Mental health affecting my business

[Bling]

I know this isn't the place to discuss mental health problems, but I need help...

Who I am:​

I just turned 18 and I had 3 business ideas which I had executed and they failed terribly. A few days back when I was grinding on my business the reason for my grind was my girlfriend, I loved her I wanted to give her every possible thing I could so that's the reason I started the business so that I can earn money and become stable. it didn't turn out well, I failed terribly and she left me I also have some health conditions some doctors say I couldn't become a father and I was so depressed I left everything and just became degenerate and also left my martial arts. I read a lot of books, but at the time I was reading "The Millionaires Fastlane", because of her leaving and my depression taking over me, I left reading the book. I don't want to feel anything, I just feel to bury my head in mud and not do anything.

My problem:​

Whenever I start researching business and trying to figure out how to make my idea come true, My gut says "YOU ARE YOUNG!! YOU NEED TO ENJOY DON'T WORRY just watch some anime, jak off, sleep, don't worry." Even if I listen to my gut I feel terrible and hate myself more than ever. After she left me I isolated myself and didn't talk to any of my friends which turned out no one ever texted me again and no one even cared I felt so alone. I really want to improve my situation, I've developed this fear of failing because I've failed 3 times in business and many times in life and my mind just says I am a loser, I hate the motivation I see on youtube, Insta, etc...
And most of all, what business should I get into? I'm really confused, hope someone can help me saying this on a forum was difficult for me, but i finally did it...

 

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[Robdavis]

Don't worry about having had business ideas fail.
Look back over them and see what you can learn from what happened. Some of the best entrepreneurs have had businesses fail. What matters is that when the first one failed, you got back up and started a second and when that failed you started a third.

Find people around you that you can help and get paid for helping.

Have a look at this thread:

MARKETING - Just start already

It was just after midnight on 10-Nov-20 and I was annoyed with myself for not starting a particular project I'd been thinking about for a few weeks. I decided to quickly post a short note to my Facebook profile before hitting the hay. At the time I had 880 friends on Facebook and had been a...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

There are a number of young guys like you who have recently started property services businesses. Things like window cleaning, lawnmowing and gutter cleaning. You could find some of their threads and see if that gives you some ideas for something simple that you could start and hopefully get some success with fairly quickly.

SIDE HUSTLE - [FULL GUIDE] Starting a Window Cleaning Business (by @piano)

Preface This is a long guide with a lot of information. Before you read this, I just want to tell you something: The reason you don't need this guide. When I started out, I didn't have such a guide but it was ok because I had a starting point; I need the tools, ok I searched for them and bought...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

NOTABLE! - EXECUTION - Drop Out to Building a $95,000/mo service business

Hey Fastlaners! I am starting a home service business in exterior cleaning. Here's a bit of my background. I just turned 20 years old. When I was 16, I moved out of my parents' house and flew outside of my country to continue my studies in Canada since there is no future for me in my home...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Nightwolf]

My gut says "YOU ARE YOUNG!! YOU NEED TO ENJOY DON'T WORRY just watch some anime, jak off, sleep, don't worry." Even if I listen to my gut I feel terrible and hate myself more than ever

Thats not your gut saying those things, it's the social norm trying to pull you down and hold you back. Resist it. The fact that you are aware of it makes you better than the majority of people.

After she left me I isolated myself and didn't talk to any of my friends which turned out no one ever texted me again and no one even cared I felt so alone.

You should be happy! All your fake friends revealed themselves! And you shouldn't be bothered that she left you, that should rather motivate you to prove her wrong.

I've failed 3 times in business and many times in life and my mind just says I am a loser, I hate the motivation I see on youtube, Insta, etc...

Failure is not the opposite of success. Opposite of success (or failure) is not trying. Trying is all that matters. And to succeed you must fail. Just like to ride a bike, you must fall. To be good at something, you must be bad at it first. Do not fear failures. It's a part of our lives.

 

[Bling]

Thats not your gut saying those things, it's the social norm trying to pull you down and hold you back. Resist it. The fact that you are aware of it makes you better than the majority of people.

You should be happy! All your fake friends revealed themselves! And you shouldn't be bothered that she left you, that should rather motivate you to prove her wrong.

Failure is not the opposite of success. Opposite of success (or failure) is not trying. Trying is all that matters. And to succeed you must fail. Just like to ride a bike, you must fall. To be good at something, you must be bad at it first. Do not fear failures. It's a part of our lives.

What about the thing which says to me that I would have to sacrifice my happiness, but I really don’t think watching tv shows all day long would make me any happier. How would you recommend me to over come this thing?

 

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[Plushy]

It sounds like you're processing the grief of the breakup, so of course you're going to feel depressed. Isolating yourself will make you feel worse, but so does not doing anything. At your age I also went through a situation where all my friends abandoned me, but looking back it was for the best bc I got new ones. The friends you made as a teen watching anime and jerking off are not going to be the best influences.

Try to think of your business adventures as a good distraction from your depression instead of something you can't do because you're depressed. Every time I miss someone it is motivation to work harder. Not only will you get dopamine from work, you'll also feel like you're in control of something, and quite possibly set yourself up for more success in the future. More freedom. As messed up as it sounds, I believe if you had money, you could have saved the relationship. You would have more options like being able to go to counseling, go on trips, move in together, etc. Pain and regret can be a source of motivation. Alex Hormozi once said if all you ever feel is sadness and anger, use it for motivation.

It is NOT TRUE that working hard means giving up your happiness. The bibles says it is a joy to work. Steve Jobs said the effort is the reward. Saying work is hard and TV is good is more of societal scripts trying to keep you down. Of course television advertises itself as a way to "wind down" when all it does is make you stagnate and waste your youth! If you have 3 failures under your belt, good, keep going. The more you try the sooner you'll get lucky. I've had plenty of failures too, but successes also, because I never stop trying. The more you do, the happier you feel.

Most importantly, take care of your health. Your brain is a reflection of your body. Eat clean, sleep on time, and get exercise. Even if you don't take action yet, getting healthier will reduce stress and anxiety, and it'll make it easier to work in the future. These feelings will pass. It sucks now, but take care of yourself. You are in good company.

 

[Nightwolf]

What about the thing which says to me that I would have to sacrifice my happiness, but I really don’t think watching tv shows all day long would make me any happier. How would you recommend me to over come this thing?

Define happiness. Happiness is subjective. You shouldn't chase happiness, at least I don't. I get it that you're feeling low right now, but all I can recommend you to do is take action.
Thinking about the past while sitting in a corner won't do you any good.
A few years ago I was chasing happiness too. But the more you chase happiness, the more you realize how much you "lack" it.
I don't think about whether I am happy or not because I am busy improving myself and my business, and i recommend the same to you.

Let's get to work (inspired from heavy_industry)

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I have terrible mental health, but it’s not affecting my business. In fact it’s probably positively affecting it.

I often feel like shit even though compared to most people I’m doing amazing. But my goal is billionaire, and as a result when I see how far I am from that goal I feel depressed. Almost every day I wake up in a terrible mood.

But guess what. I hit the gym. I do some cardio. I feed my cat. And I get to work like a chad. Then I spend my evening with my girlfriend, going for walks, watching a movie and reading.

I just turned 18 and I had 3 business ideas which I had executed and they failed terribly. A few days back when I was grinding on my business the reason for my grind was my girlfriend, I loved her I wanted to give her every possible thing I could so that's the reason I started the business so that I can earn money and become stable.

Dude of course she left you, you’re 18 and you’re broke. She didn’t get the comfort and experiences she needed from you. It’s a terrible idea imo to do your business for external motivators, including people you love. You should do your business for yourself.

Mental health is an excuse imo. You should be working hard BECAUSE you’re depressed. Just imagine bro… wtf are you doing with your life? That bitch left you, because you don’t look sexy af like Brad Pitt. And because cash isn’t falling out of your orifices like Warren Buffet. And because you’re not cool, entertaining and fun to be around with like F*cking James Bond.

Who the F*ck is going to fix that?! You have a lot of work, and being depressed is good. It means you have fuel. So use it.

 

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[The-J]

it didn't turn out well, I failed terribly and she left me

Congratulations, man. You dodged a bullet my friend! Oh man, you are lucky. You learned a wonderful lesson young! You know there are forum members here who have gotten divorced and lost half of their stuff in that same situation? You know there are forum members who got SUCCESS and had their wives leave them?

That girl was going to kill your dreams for her comfort, but she did you a service by leaving you. Now you're free.

After she left me I isolated myself and didn't talk to any of my friends which turned out no one ever texted me again and no one even cared I felt so alone. I really want to improve my situation, I've developed this fear of failing because I've failed 3 times in business and many times in life and my mind just says I am a loser, I hate the motivation I see on youtube, Insta, etc...

Get off of social media. Also, what that other poster said is right: those friends were fake. Also, failing is part of this. You got started and failed. GOOD! That means you're one step closer, because now you know what failure is like. You know what your market doesn't want. Now ask them what they want and give it to them!

What about the thing which says to me that I would have to sacrifice my happiness, but I really don’t think watching tv shows all day long would make me any happier. How would you recommend me to over come this thing?

The "comfort" part of your brain wants you to sleep in, jerk off, watch anime, play video games, whatever you find comfort in. That part of your brain will keep you stuck! But no you don't have to sacrifice your happiness. You have to sacrifice comfort. Comfort isn't happiness, you know that because you're comfortable and depressed!

Look bud. You HATE your life, right? You're literally sick and tired of living the way you are. You're sick of being a loser, right? Sick of jerking off to girls you'll never get in real life? Sick of watching other people have fun on social media while you sit at home, no friends no GF no money? You CAN do something about it!

You're on your way, kid. You'll be alright. Get back to work.

 

[Kokaka]

I know this isn't the place to discuss mental health problems, but I need help...

Who I am:​

I just turned 18 and I had 3 business ideas which I had executed and they failed terribly. A few days back when I was grinding on my business the reason for my grind was my girlfriend, I loved her I wanted to give her every possible thing I could so that's the reason I started the business so that I can earn money and become stable. it didn't turn out well, I failed terribly and she left me I also have some health conditions some doctors say I couldn't become a father and I was so depressed I left everything and just became degenerate and also left my martial arts. I read a lot of books, but at the time I was reading "The Millionaires Fastlane", because of her leaving and my depression taking over me, I left reading the book. I don't want to feel anything, I just feel to bury my head in mud and not do anything.

My problem:​

Whenever I start researching business and trying to figure out how to make my idea come true, My gut says "YOU ARE YOUNG!! YOU NEED TO ENJOY DON'T WORRY just watch some anime, jak off, sleep, don't worry." Even if I listen to my gut I feel terrible and hate myself more than ever. After she left me I isolated myself and didn't talk to any of my friends which turned out no one ever texted me again and no one even cared I felt so alone. I really want to improve my situation, I've developed this fear of failing because I've failed 3 times in business and many times in life and my mind just says I am a loser, I hate the motivation I see on youtube, Insta, etc...
And most of all, what business should I get into? I'm really confused, hope someone can help me saying this on a forum was difficult for me, but i finally did it...

It seems you have a high conciouencious trait. Solution to this when its whack is not to take it easy but to move forward and do something. Worst thing is to do nothing and thinking if you relax you will get energy and feel better. People like this feel better when they do and accomplish stuff.
If I were in your shoes. I would dedikate myself to martial arts for a few month and become in the best shape of your life. Train, eat and sleep clean. You will bounce back fast. I did the same, helped alot and the process is detailed in my blog.

Now, regards to your business venture. Failure is a part of the process. Bill Gates, Donald Trump etc has all failed and gone bankrupt and look where they ended up. Failure is a part of the process, but guess what. Whit this comes learning. If you instead look at it as experiments, you will see them with new eyes. You experiment untill you find a formula that work. Its very rare somethings work right out the gate. Be it busiess, new medicine or engineering. It takes time, trial and error and expertice. All this you go through now.
Its a part of the process, and if you experience long enough, have enthusiasm and try to learn and adapt. Who knows what can happen in the future.

 

[Bling]

Congratulations, man. You dodged a bullet my friend! Oh man, you are lucky. You learned a wonderful lesson young! You know there are forum members here who have gotten divorced and lost half of their stuff in that same situation? You know there are forum members who got SUCCESS and had their wives leave them?

That girl was going to kill your dreams for her comfort, but she did you a service by leaving you. Now you're free.



Get off of social media. Also, what that other poster said is right: those friends were fake. Also, failing is part of this. You got started and failed. GOOD! That means you're one step closer, because now you know what failure is like. You know what your market doesn't want. Now ask them what they want and give it to them!



The "comfort" part of your brain wants you to sleep in, jerk off, watch anime, play video games, whatever you find comfort in. That part of your brain will keep you stuck! But no you don't have to sacrifice your happiness. You have to sacrifice comfort. Comfort isn't happiness, you know that because you're comfortable and depressed!

Look bud. You HATE your life, right? You're literally sick and tired of living the way you are. You're sick of being a loser, right? Sick of jerking off to girls you'll never get in real life? Sick of watching other people have fun on social media while you sit at home, no friends no GF no money? You CAN do something about it!

You're on your way, kid. You'll be alright. Get back to work.

But how do I know if I’m on right path? Sometimes people fail and that’s the time they should quit and some don’t which lead to their failure.

 

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[The-J]

But how do I know if I’m on right path? Sometimes people fail and that’s the time they should quit and some don’t which lead to their failure.

I don't know, where do you want to go? Lots of paths lead to lots of destinations and if you don't know where you want to go, how will you ever know if you're on the right path?

 

[Bling]

I don't know, where do you want to go? Lots of paths lead to lots of destinations and if you don't know where you want to go, how will you ever know if you're on the right path?

The thing is i lost my path I don’t know where I am and I don’t know where I want to go, but I want to change the world create something become rich. I don’t even care if I get broke I want to be someone who changes the world even if its in the least way possible. So, how do I find my path?

 

[Nightwolf]

But how do I know if I’m on right path? Sometimes people fail and that’s the time they should quit and some don’t which lead to their failure.

"It's just a leap of faith" - Peter Parker (spider verse)

In all seriousness though,
It's time to quit if nothing works (which almost never happens, you can make money doing even the dumbest and simplest things given that it solves a problem). If you have tried 1000 different things and still fail, it's time to quit.
But if you try the same thing 1000 times, maybe try doing something different? There's a subtle difference.

"A stupid person is someone who expects different results by doing the same things again and again" - someone I don't remember

But instead of worrying when you should quit right now, start working. Think about it when it's actually time to consider changing paths. Stay on one thing long enough to see if it works for you. You might make $500,000 but still quit because it's not scalable anymore being a local business for eg.

It all depends on your long term goals, so don't worry about when to quit because you can make money solving the simplest of problems.

 

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[Nightwolf]

The thing is i lost my path I don’t know where I am and I don’t know where I want to go, but I want to change the world create something become rich. I don’t even care if I get broke I want to be someone who changes the world even if its in the least way possible. So, how do I find my path?

You see, you are already on the path. By joining and interacting on this forum, you have already taken your first steps.
You lost your path before because the destination was dependent on external factors.
This time it's different, the destination is internal and you have already started the journey.
You don't need to overthink everything. Believe in yourself and get to it.

 

[Bling]

You see, you are already on the path. By joining and interacting on this forum, you have already taken your first steps.
You lost your path before because the destination was dependent on external factors.
This time it's different, the destination is internal and you have already started the journey.
You don't need to overthink everything. Believe in yourself and get to it.

To be honest I feel so broken, who ever I trust eventually breaks me down. Now, I’ve decided I’m done living for others. I’ll live for myself from now on, but sometimes I miss her. I don’t know where life would take me, but I won’t give up.

Thanks man and than you everyone here who replied to my post, I really appreciate you all guys.

 

[Kokaka]

To be honest I feel so broken, who ever I trust eventually breaks me down. Now, I’ve decided I’m done living for others. I’ll live for myself from now on, but sometimes I miss her. I don’t know where life would take me, but I won’t give up.

Thanks man and than you everyone here who replied to my post, I really appreciate you all guys.

If she cant take you on your worst. She does not deserve you when you're your best.

 

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[RightyTighty]

When I get really down, l try to look outside myself by volunteering a few hours at the soup kitchen or the animal shelter. The engagement takes my mind off of my negative internalizing, and the service aspect always make me feel better. It’s hard to snap out of a deep funk when you feel like a Volkswagen is parked on your chest. Reaching out as you did here is a good start. Try to get some exercise to generate endorphins and give yourself some time. The changes in your life are an opportunity to re-boot on a positive path.

 

[Bling]

Congratulations, man. You dodged a bullet my friend! Oh man, you are lucky. You learned a wonderful lesson young! You know there are forum members here who have gotten divorced and lost half of their stuff in that same situation? You know there are forum members who got SUCCESS and had their wives leave them?

That girl was going to kill your dreams for her comfort, but she did you a service by leaving you. Now you're free.



Get off of social media. Also, what that other poster said is right: those friends were fake. Also, failing is part of this. You got started and failed. GOOD! That means you're one step closer, because now you know what failure is like. You know what your market doesn't want. Now ask them what they want and give it to them!



The "comfort" part of your brain wants you to sleep in, jerk off, watch anime, play video games, whatever you find comfort in. That part of your brain will keep you stuck! But no you don't have to sacrifice your happiness. You have to sacrifice comfort. Comfort isn't happiness, you know that because you're comfortable and depressed!

Look bud. You HATE your life, right? You're literally sick and tired of living the way you are. You're sick of being a loser, right? Sick of jerking off to girls you'll never get in real life? Sick of watching other people have fun on social media while you sit at home, no friends no GF no money? You CAN do something about it!

You're on your way, kid. You'll be alright. Get back to work.

I got up and started working on my dream again and this time just for me. To be honest this feels amazing and now I realise she doesn’t even deserve me. I could get girls, but doing so will just get me comfortable. I started to hate comfort again, started skin care routine and fixed my self and started dressing better. Also started flipping stuff, and earning from it. I’m continuously working on my dream. All I can think about is the guys of my age doesn’t even come close to what I do, so do and I like their company. I lost many friends, but got to know who to trust and who to call for help when needed. Thanks sir, I really appreciate everyone here who motivated me to do and get started again.

I just wanted to ask, I’m preferring solitude more than ever. And disliking people, and I’m afraid of myself acting this way. Is this normal? I’m preferring meditation over entertainment. I now fear women, I feel like women always cheat. And I want to become leader. I don’t fight with anyone else, I think fighting is just waste of energy and time. I like closing deals, I like improving my self constantly. And this is not normal at my age. What do you think about this? Is it ok to continue? And about women, can you help me about thinking that?

 

[Kokaka]

I got up and started working on my dream again and this time just for me. To be honest this feels amazing and now I realise she doesn’t even deserve me. I could get girls, but doing so will just get me comfortable. I started to hate comfort again, started skin care routine and fixed my self and started dressing better. Also started flipping stuff, and earning from it. I’m continuously working on my dream. All I can think about is the guys of my age doesn’t even come close to what I do, so do and I like their company. I lost many friends, but got to know who to trust and who to call for help when needed. Thanks sir, I really appreciate everyone here who motivated me to do and get started again.

I just wanted to ask, I’m preferring solitude more than ever. And disliking people, and I’m afraid of myself acting this way. Is this normal? I’m preferring meditation over entertainment. I now fear women, I feel like women always cheat. And I want to become leader. I don’t fight with anyone else, I think fighting is just waste of energy and time. I like closing deals, I like improving my self constantly. And this is not normal at my age. What do you think about this? Is it ok to continue? And about women, can you help me about thinking that?

Congrats. You have started to get in a good trajectory.
I would advice you this for a while then things will resolve itself over time:

 

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