Late Bloomer's touchy-feely exploration of feelings and actions

[Late Bloomer]

As a personal rule, If I don't get kicked in the face at least every two weeks, it means I'm not growing.

If that's what helps you grow, then I hope you get all the kicks needed for you to grow as much as you like.

Life and death themselves have kicked me in the face hard enough, that no further kicks are needed in this lifetime from any keyboard warriors in order to inspire the full flowering of my business potential.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

@Late BloomerDon’t give up on this forum, open up and try to take the critiscim on board, if it’s rude or unhelpful, ignore it.

Thanks Paolo. Apparently although posts can't be deleted, users can be blocked. If that's the case, then I can design my own "three strikes" rule or whatever is useful for me. I've already made some extremely positive connections here and got some wonderfully kind and helpful comments, so I'm not going to give up on this forum. I am going to think about how to use it more selectively.

 

[Late Bloomer]

In my defence, by the time I read this thread, the OP had deleted all of the cancer stuff

It's in my intro post from my profile page.

I'm sorry for the loss of your sister.

Thanks for your kind wishes.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Not me, I think the OP did.

Yes, that was me.

@Late Bloomer -- would you like me to move this thread to the EXECUTION category? That type of thread takes on more of a diary thread, might be suitable for your updates.

Thanks MJ. I'd like to wrap up and then abandon this thread. I hadn't explored the Execution category much, I'll do that. It might be appropriate for me to make a new thread there that's more action focused, and another in the mindset forum for the more inner focused stuff. I can see that the mix of execution and inner life material here might have been confusing to some users as to what to expect. To the extent that people reasonably thought this was going to about action and were disappointed it was instead about psychology, I apologize for some confusion I did inadvertently create with that shift in tone.

 

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[Late Bloomer]

@Late Bloomer -- to echo what has been said, we're your cheerleaders, but we're also here to coach as well. A coach instructs, corrects, and encourages. The coach wants you to win. We want you to win and make progress. And be proud of where you are going.

I appreciate that.

In addition, a good coach adapts their coaching style to the player. If the player responds well to being punched in the face, that's what they provide. If the player responds better to a kind word of hope with a smile, they offer more of those than they do punches in the face. This seems to be a foreign concept to some forum users, who seem to think everyone is best served by others appointing themselves as their personal drill sergeants. If I could have a fresh start, I'd make clearer from the start what is more useful to me.

Also, a good coach does not go beyond what they are qualified to advise. For example, I have no qualifications to teach anyone how to be a better hockey player. And so far, I've not seen anyone on this thread provide their qualifications to be a psychologist or spiritual counselor for me, despite several appointing themselves in that role.

My concern is that some of those who decided to instruct and correct, did so based on things they only imagined about me. You've never done this yourself to me, and I haven't seen you do it to anyone else. But some of the others have.

For example, assuming every day of my life is about pencils instead of asking me, or believing me, when I said that one day was a non-typical, unusually unproductive day.

For example, imagining that I had a millenial snowflake's upbringing of helicopter parenting and participation trophies, and scolding me on the basis of that supposition, without bothering to notice that I've said I'm not a father but I am the age of the parents of millenials. And that I had a post about how my experience is the opposite of a "participation trophy winner." That was some extremely presumptive projection by the other user.

For example, refusing to believe me that there were medical causes for my financial losses. And, when I told them that what they guessed was wrong, they then very angrily denounced me for not honoring their superior wisdom and insight about my own life.

With all due respect, that kind of confrontation lacks all due respect.

It's not been any one post, it's been the relentless insistence that I have to accept people's confrontations based on their own false perceptions, that's been so emotionally exhausting to me.

That's what I've found very objectionable.

Being emotionally exhausted in my situation is not unusual, and does not show a need for any forum users to assume they can diagnose and treat anything... see, I need to include that yet again as a disclaimer against further personally confrontational attack. WTF. That's why, if threads could be deleted, I'd wipe out this one and start fresh.

 

[Late Bloomer]

O and by the way, Fiverr / Upwork violate commandment of control. Use them to hire people to get things done for you, not give yourself a new employer.

That's a great point I'd like to dig into in another thread. Is there already a post here that already discusses freelance gigs vs. a Fastlane business? I see freelance gigs as the onramp, not the Fastlane itself. The only appeal of the freelance gigs is that they seem to offer more control and flexibility than a day job, for this week's basic living expense money. As soon as I can move more into Team Producer to sell something scalable, then all of these time-for-money trades should fade away to the rearview mirror.

 

[Late Bloomer]

The market has no empathy. Will focusing on hardships you have endured help you advance in business? Most likely not.

Some markets don't have any empathy, but some do. There are people who have shared their own experiences of hard times, and audiences, clients, and customers who have respect and empathy choose to buy more from someone who has been through tough times and shared from the heart about that experience. In some markets such as writing and conducting seminars about personal growth topics, the very depth of what I'm sharing can be a cause of success, not a roadblock to success.

For other types of markets, the personal story of the founder is irrelevant. To make up an example, suppose I learned that Sprint was founded by someone who started a phone company because he had no other way to be in touch with loved ones who had fatal illnesses. I'd be touched by the story, but it would have nothing to do with my purchase decisions for phone plans.

What I post here is not the same as my own personal and professional marketing materials. I don't include irrelevant personal stuff in professional material targeted to an audience that's never claimed to care about mindset and personal growth. (MJ's audience can be expected to care about mindset and personal growth, as it's obviously a major theme area for his work.)

 

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[Late Bloomer]

Dude, WTF.

Your response was upset when I complained that someone dropped a cryptic haiku rather than saying something useful for me. He has since apologized publicly to me here for being unhelpful with his comment that I criticized as unhelpful. Was he wrong in making that apology to me?

 

[Late Bloomer]

I'd like to touch on the direction this thread has gone, since I don't think this is what you were hoping for when you created this thread, and I'd like you to get back on track.

If this forum had a way to add a celebration gold star with an exclamation point, I'd put it in here. Best response of all. Thank you so much.

So when our good intentions get shot down, it's not received well.

That's true all the way around. If I hadn't felt that I posted something for which "let me politely suggest a better way to think about it" would be appropriate, I wouldn't be upset at getting so much less than that. And obviously that's true of those who responded as well.

Stop spending time resopnding to your critics. Even if it takes 10 minutes, it's not worth your mental and emotional energy.

That's very helpful advice. I already used it today. There was one totally flippant and pointless response on here. I just put the person on ignore rather than saying anything about it.

 

[Late Bloomer]

Outta here for today, see ya tomorrow. Gotta get back to work, and do a bunch more writing so that I get to keep the money my client sent me earlier today.

 

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