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HOT TOPIC Is it possible for very rich people to hang out with poor/working class people?

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ExaltedLife

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There's this rich guy in my hometown, who hangs out with regular guys - just drinking vodka and bsing around :D

He has a working-class background, and the industry he's in deals with tough, roughneck type workers, who perform hardcore manual labor type of work.

He's a regular dude, doing regular dude things (except for the occasional traveling). It's almost as if he has built a system and he's just using it to make a ton of cash, without identifying as some kind of high-class ''mindsetist''. In a sense, he's the same as he was when he was just another worker.

So of course it's possible - it just depends on what kind of crowds the rich person prefers - if he's fine talking about basic shit, without discussing any intellectual/deep/financial topics, he'll do just fine with less wealthy as long as these people are not leeches.
I grew up around rich farmers just like that
 

jlwilliams

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Maybe some exceptions exist but in general no.

If you surround yourself with five millionaires you will become the sixth. If you surround yourself with five drunks you will become the sixth.

A wealthy man who decides to hang out with "regular guys" is aiming for mediocrity. The scenario brings to mind successful rappers and athletes who try to keep close to their street cred. The saga ends badly.
 

SteveO

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This is all so true. It is not me though. I grew up poor and remain such in attitude.
I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.

The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.

The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck, it was dishonesty.

The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.

The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.

The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.

The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.

The rich persue goals and the poor do not.

The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.

Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.

They raise their families in vastly different ways.

They have differing hobbies.

The poor often are hostile of the rich.

The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.

All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.

This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.

I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.

When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.

Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.

 

Kak

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This is all so true. It is not me though. I grew up poor and remain such in attitude.

I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.

You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!

From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.

You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"

I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.

The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."
 
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biophase

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I think this all depends on the attitude of the rich person and the non-rich person. I think that both people need to have respect for where others are in their own lives. I have alot of friends that still do the 9 to 5. To be honest, I don't know what half of them do for a living.

You just have to be self aware.

For example, once I asked my friend if she wanted to go see a movie on a weeknight. She asked if we could go on Friday because that's when she got paid. Obviously, there's a big income divide here. I could have just said, don't worry about the ticket, I got it. But my generous offer could have been seen as pity. It's their life, they have a budget and they are sticking to it. Good for them.

If I'm with MJ, I could complain about why my Ferrari sucked and why I got an R8 instead and it would be taken at face value. But doing that within a different crowd and you sound like a bragging douchebag. So you just have to be aware of that.
 

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I think this all depends on the attitude of the rich person and the non-rich person. I think that both people need to have respect for where others are in their own lives. I have alot of friends that still do the 9 to 5. To be honest, I don't know what half of them do for a living.

You just have to be self aware.

For example, once I asked my friend if she wanted to go see a movie on a weeknight. She asked if we could go on Friday because that's when she got paid. Obviously, there's a big income divide here. I could have just said, don't worry about the ticket, I got it. But my generous offer could have been seen as pity. It's their life, they have a budget and they are sticking to it. Good for them.

If I'm with MJ, I could complain about why my Ferrari sucked and why I got an R8 instead and it would be taken at face value. But doing that within a different crowd and you sound like a bragging douchebag. So you just have to be aware of that.
Each level has its own challenges. My dad used to tell me about the second grader versus his older brother, the seventh grader. The second grader thinks that his older brother has it made. He gets all the privileges and rights that go with being older. The older brother thinks that his younger brother has it easier because the second grade school work is elementary and he's treated more like a baby. The younger brother is not expected to be as responsible. Neither brother can see the other's challenges.

The differences between the "haves" and "have-nots" is similar. The challenges are so different, and so are mindsets. Even the "boot-strap" guy who has clawed his way up the business mountain, many times can no longer relate to people left in his dust. Over time, he's had to completely change his view of the world. Like the seventh grader, he forgets how hard the lessons were for him when he was on the second grade level - the beginner's level. From the top of his mountain, those lessons look down right easy. And beginner in business doesn't even recognize the challenges of the guy at the top of the heap. All he can see are the rewards and the perks. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation that lacks basic points of understanding.
 

thechosen1

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In my opinion and in my experience, a "rich" person who can hang out with and be friends with "non-rich" people generally is a healthier and happier person. (I'm sure this depends - I don't know any billionaires. I know people who are worth 7, 8 figures but probably not more than that.)

A "poor" (I hate saying poor because many people call themselves poor even though they are NOT poor) person who can befriend and hang out with someone more materially successful than them without envy, jealousy, or hate is also on the fast track to being successful themselves.

I think about this a lot and I think it's really important as a "fastlaner." You should be comfortable with people ahead of you and people who are on their way. Talk to both. Learn from both. They can all teach you something.

LEARN from people. I've met so many folks who are actually poor who, when talking to a business owner about their business, will not SHUT UP and listen. Like... they know more about business than they do? Really? Same with guys who have big paychecks and act all high and mighty and ignore wisdom from people without money.
 
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SteveO

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I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.

You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!

From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.

You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"

I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.

The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."
I have tons of stories to talk about from times of abundance and times of poverty and despair. I pull from this depending on the crowd.

I don't feel animosity coming from others very often. Of course there are people that don't like me but I don't care.

I like to do things. Thus, I like to hang with people that share these same interests.

Currently on a 5 day off road trip through Arizona and Sonora Mexico. Sitting in a beachside hotel as I post this.

Some in the group chose a more modest lodging in town but we all still hang together during the day. I inserted a couple photos.

Same goes with softball or my running group. I only cared about our group interaction and ability to be competitive. Never cared about what others did for a living.
20201201_090318.jpg

20201202_130933.jpg20201202_125553.jpg
 
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SteveO

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I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.

You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!

From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.

You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"

I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.

The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."
Btw... thanks for the glowing statements about me and my traits. Not 100% accurate but appreciated.

I am at my highest comfort level at our fastlane meetups. The freedom to express ourselves in that environment is incredible.

As for daily interaction, @biophase and @MJ DeMarco can tell you more about my traits although they probably won't. My wife likes to comment "there goes steveo making friends again" as I'm in the middle of a tough interaction. :)

I once got an entire softball team kicked off the field that involved the police and threats against me. They were jackasses and I let them know repeatedly. Since I was pitching, they kept trying to hit me with the ball. One of them took a swing at me when I tagged them out.
 

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Dianne Cohen

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I don't really care how much money someone has, fortunes are made and lost all the time. I care more about their beliefs and values, certain beliefs attract wealth (monetary and otherwise).

Trust me, you can't be friends with side walkers. They will drag you down if you don't cut them out of your life.
Mostly true. I do know some sidewalkers who know that about themselves and prefer the "safe" route. They also can have great, interesting, and intelligent conversation with fasteners.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people?

I played softball some years ago with lifetime job people who were always complaining about work, money, etc -- I never felt welcome or part of the group which was proven later. I was usually an afterthought for other activities, even some of the games. Im sure they weren't comfortable with the Lambo pulling up to the games or that I was too happy for their own comfort... a remember sitting in silence with no comment as someone bragged about making $80,000 a year as a pharmacy tech just because they spent 3 years in grad school and 6 figures in student loans. All you can do is nod your head and smile approval.

@SteveO was also on some of those teams, he showed up in an old rusty truck. They loved him to death ... I'm guessing because he "stayed in their lane" and he seemed like he was coming straight from his job as a janitor.

Once I took a year hiatus for some needed surgeries and recovery, I was never invited again to play.

On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
 

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must ask, what position did you have @MJ DeMarco play @SteveO ??

i can just see MJ with his hat backwards and long socks with stripes (pulled up of course) yelling how many outs there are from left field........ lol
 

MJ DeMarco

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ust ask, what position did you have @MJ DeMarco play @SteveO ??

I played every position, most comfortable in outfield, did a lot of pitching when Steve couldn't make it.

My worst position was third-base, I didn't have an accurate or a speedy throw.

SteveO was always the pitcher ... who incidentally, had the yips on throws to first base. He'd underhand it, roll it, kick it, anything but a normal throw! Odd, because he was pretty darn accurate pitcher to home plate, not first base. LOL. :rofl:
 

WJK

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On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
I like to fly under the radar too. It's easier. Then I get to ask a lot of questions and get them talking. My success has been more modest than MJ's, but it's still a social problem with a lot of people around me.
 

SteveO

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I played softball some years ago with lifetime job people who were always complaining about work, money, etc -- I never felt welcome or part of the group which was proven later. I was usually an afterthought for other activities, even some of the games. Im sure they weren't comfortable with the Lambo pulling up to the games or that I was too happy for their own comfort... a remember sitting in silence with no comment as someone bragged about making $80,000 a year as a pharmacy tech just because they spent 3 years in grad school and 6 figures in student loans. All you can do is nod your head and smile approval.

@SteveO was also on some of those teams, he showed up in an old rusty truck. They loved him to death ... I'm guessing because he "stayed in their lane" and he seemed like he was coming straight from his job as a janitor.

Once I took a year hiatus for some needed surgeries and recovery, I was never invited again to play.

On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
You making fun of my old work truck? Haha. I was in dire straights for a while and that truck was necessary.

But you are right. I don't look like someone with money. Never have.

Those yips were strange. Lasted a couple years.

They were intimidated by you for sure.
 

MoneyDoc

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I played softball some years ago with lifetime job people who were always complaining about work, money, etc -- I never felt welcome or part of the group which was proven later. I was usually an afterthought for other activities, even some of the games. Im sure they weren't comfortable with the Lambo pulling up to the games or that I was too happy for their own comfort... a remember sitting in silence with no comment as someone bragged about making $80,000 a year as a pharmacy tech just because they spent 3 years in grad school and 6 figures in student loans. All you can do is nod your head and smile approval.

@SteveO was also on some of those teams, he showed up in an old rusty truck. They loved him to death ... I'm guessing because he "stayed in their lane" and he seemed like he was coming straight from his job as a janitor.

Once I took a year hiatus for some needed surgeries and recovery, I was never invited again to play.

On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
Wait... what Lambo do you drive right now???
 

WJK

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You making fun of my old work truck? Haha. I was in dire straights for a while and that truck was necessary.

But you are right. I don't look like someone with money. Never have.

Those yips were strange. Lasted a couple years.

They were intimidated by you for sure.
We have some of those old work trucks and old heavy equipment. We don't look like we have much $ either. It works for us and we don't have to explain anything. People are always under estimating us. It's a real advantage most of the time. We just blend in with our surroundings. On the other hand, if we want something, we simply buy it -- but, there's very little that we want at this point in our lives. Who do we have to impress????
 

MJ DeMarco

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Wait... what Lambo do you drive right now???

No more Lambo ...

Decided to retire the crowded roads for the empty desert.

IMG_0543.JPG
 

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justindircksen

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I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.

The problem is MINDSET... NOT MONEY.

The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.

The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck, it was dishonesty.

The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.

The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.

The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.

The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.

The rich persue goals and the poor do not.

The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.

Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.

They raise their families in vastly different ways.

They have differing hobbies.

The poor often are hostile of the rich.

The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.

All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.

This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.

I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.

When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.

Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.

Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
 

Kak

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Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
Sure! I respect the hustle tremendously! Your book stats are off the freaking charts. You should be proud of that. That is a hell of a lot more reading than I currently do.

You also wrote an intelligent post, and based on what you just posted here, you clearly aren't the type to be hostile of someone that expects more out of life than a 9-5 and complaining over beers on Friday.

Like I said, respect is the difference for me. I respect you doing what you need to do to be an entrepreneur.

Don't conflate needing to respect someone to be friends with them with needing to somehow get something out of them. That is social climber weirdo stuff.

If you're serious, shoot me a direct message. Let's chat!
 
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thechosen1

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Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
This is exactly what I was saying earlier!
I bet you could teach everyone in this forum a lot about trucking, the industry, the “load board” (I think that’s a thing?), how shipments are handled, etc.

Not to mention finding common ground in, I don’t know, hobbies and things unrelated to business :)

oh and other fastlane opportunities, like car washes for 18 wheelers (they’re still pretty rare), weighing stations, all sorts of products that make the life of a truck driver better or easier, parts and technical information, I can go on...

Everyone has something to offer!!!
You can learn something from everyone.
 

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Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
Yes. People like me want to friends with people like you because a bunch of us started exactly where you started. And we wanted more. So, we worked and we worked. And then we worked some more. We learned, Then we struggled to apply what we learned. You're getting ready to join our ranks.
 
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thechosen1

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MJ started out driving limos.
My grandpa started out as a drilling rig roughneck.
My uncle, who now owns and operates his own liquor brand (they manufacture it AND sell it), got a history degree (lot of use that was) then went to Alaska to work as a crab fisherman.
Being a truck driver does not put you out of “the circle!”
 

Illusive_Man

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I have a friend who is extremely rich. And I being not so much. We hang out but you can tell there is just a different mental process that goes on, it makes the connection much tougher. What I have noticed though is, when that person wants to do an activity with me, they don't choose the craziest most expensive activity. They are very considerate in the realization of the differences between our economic status. So it is possible. It just depends on the person.
 

UK_Mike

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Sep 10, 2020
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What I have noticed though is, when that person wants to do an activity with me, they don't choose the craziest most expensive activity. They are very considerate in the realization of the differences between our economic status. So it is possible. It just depends on the person.
That trait alone is very valuable, and shows that they're conscious of the difference in situations and don't want to cause a problem, therefore value the ability to hang out with you more than the activity. So much nicer than either just picking expensive / extravagant activities or, perhaps worse, picking expensive things and offering to pay for you too. The latter is nice once in a while, but not as a habit.
 

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