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Help talk me into stop working for other people

Cat Lady

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 26, 2018
69
128
129
Portland, OR
Hi! I'm Cat Lady, a 30 year old that's 19 months into working on my business (personal finance niche market, I have a radio show, book, online course, and am college/corporate trainer - I want to be one of the entrepreneurs that MJ maligns in TFM for making their riches not through the investment advice they give). Gross revenue total in that time is in the mid-$40,000 range (and I live on about $1,300 USD per month for context) but I spent about 6 months of that building up my reputation and platform.

That income seems like enough for me to live on but it's highly variable, and this brings us to the mindset issue I'm having: risk.

I seemingly can't give side jobs or say no to "fast cash" working on other people's businesses. Even when that means putting in 25-40 hours a week on other people's businesses before I get around to mine. I'm not as young as I once was and I ended up crashing hard trying to work 7 days a week, and I know I'm missing out on income possibilities because I don't have energy for more than ˜55-65 hours a week. At the same time, I like the "safety net" of having multiple income sources and I'm terrified that if I did only my business, I wouldn't make any money and run through my savings and never be able to find a slowlane job again.

As long as I've been doing this business, I've worked side jobs (this was also true when I had a FT slowlane job because I never like to rely on one source of income).

I get offered jobs regularly due to my wide social circle and the good economy. I worked as COO for a friend's 3-person tech business for about a year at ˜12 hrs/week, I was doing some freelance graphic design, and now I'm doing freelance data contracting for a corporation (SQL/Digital Asset Management mostly), and I also work a one-day-a-week $13/hr job at a boutique gym in order to learn about the business model and get free fancy workout classes.

I have about 7 months personal cash runway before I'd even have to touch the Roth IRA or 401K, but I'm very stuck in scarcity mode from years of living on non-profit income.

I am always paranoid that my own business won't be able to cover an emergency despite having an emergency fund and a fastlane millionaire live-in partner (we're financially separate though) who wouldn't let me end up destitute, obviously, if disaster struck. (I also have a low likelihood of a costly medical disaster because I hit my OOP Max in Feb each year thanks to my hella $$$ drug with co-pay assistance.)

I need help saying no to offers of more work and changing my mindset with the business.

How do you make yourself willing to accept risk? If you're neurotic and anxious like me, how do you help fix this?


I am worried that the corporation I am working for is going to offer me money, health insurance, and a steady 20 hours a week and I won't be able to convince myself to say no.

But I simply cannot burn the candle at both ends anymore (esp with my lovely stupid disease that limits my energy) working as many hours as I am doing, and I KNOW there's more my business could be doing with my full focus, and it's likely I could be making $2000-$5000 a month by the end of the year if I would give up other work, which would be enough to save half my income on my expense level.

Thanks for the time.
 

Manchild_Unbound

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 30, 2017
79
175
141
31
Colombia
Hello Cat Lady,

I found your unanswered post on a search, and I have an idea that might help you. I understand that you have a personal finance business with plenty of products out there. How much of your work do you do online?

Basically how much of your work is location-independent?

I ask because if you move to a country with low costs of living (like Thailand, China, Eastern Europe, Latin America) then your income will stretch out so much more. $1300 a month would give you a high standard of living in Medellin for example. That's one crazy thing you can try.
 

minivanman

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Mar 16, 2017
1,114
2,755
659
49
DFW
Yeah, just pack up and move to China.... but since that probably isn't any type of option, read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. This might help you with your own problem. Just a thought.... better than moving to Thailand :eek:
 

Manchild_Unbound

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 30, 2017
79
175
141
31
Colombia
Yeah, just pack up and move to China.... but since that probably isn't any type of option, read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. This might help you with your own problem. Just a thought.... better than moving to Thailand :eek:
Interesting book recommendation for OP.

If everything is done online then that is an option. Here's a thread about digital nomads:
OFF-TOPIC - Location-independent/digital nomad lifestyle - ask me anything

Honestly, I put that because I first heard about The Millionaire Fastlane from someone who was did exactly that-- Victor Pride of Bold and Determined went to China and Vietnam to build his blog business. But if it is not right for OP then maybe that book is better.
 
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minivanman

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Mar 16, 2017
1,114
2,755
659
49
DFW
Yes, there is that 1 person out of a million that would want to move to another country but the odds are probably slim to none. Or let's say that I'm half wrong or 2 times half wrong, lol, so that makes 4 people out of a million. The OP could also get a tent and move to the mountains. Maybe Amazon would deliver her food and supplies via drone..... not a bad idea.
 

404profound

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Aug 27, 2017
1,222
2,504
658
Desert of Desertion
I can somewhat relate.

I am just now securing a new slow lane JOB after going a few months without.. and it was scary. I have very little net underneath me to fall into if things hadn't worked out.

Having seven months of savings + retirement egg is a relatively good net, but my anecdotal advice is to bite the bullet and take the slowlane gig until you solve the entrepreneurship puzzle. Most people have to do both concurrently. You are worried about the risk of taking a slowlane job, yet logically there is far more risk in avoiding it. If you are not someone who tolerates risk, the slowlane job in the short term would be the more logical option.

You ask how to make yourself tolerant of risk. This is akin to asking "How can I be accepting of potentially horrible outcomes?" The mindset is that of a stoic or buddhist, if you don't fear losing the things that make you comfortable, then your risk tolerance is higher. Most people who are used to modern conveniences find it nearly impossible to find that mindset (though it can be done).

Part of your challenge is that the things you are doing as a freelance (SQL/Digital Asset Management) are often outsourced to India / China for pennies on the dollar. This trend will only continue to amplify.
 

Manchild_Unbound

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 30, 2017
79
175
141
31
Colombia
Yes, there is that 1 person out of a million that would want to move to another country but the odds are probably slim to none. Or let's say that I'm half wrong or 2 times half wrong, lol, so that makes 4 people out of a million. The OP could also get a tent and move to the mountains. Maybe Amazon would deliver her food and supplies via drone..... not a bad idea.
Hoo-boy.

Dude, drop the sarcasm, and help the OP. Maybe crazy, but I found this thread by accident and it looked like something I could bump to bring attention to.

Here's a question that will directly help the OP:
What are some ideas and takeaways from Boundaries? How have you applied those in your own life?
 
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minivanman

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Mar 16, 2017
1,114
2,755
659
49
DFW
Why was it sarcasm? There are people that live in tents and nowadays they could have internet and basically live a 'normal' life as far as a life in the 'wild' goes. Better than moving across the earth or maybe about the same.

Maybe I should change my screen name to SARCASM because that's ME :)
 

Real Deal Denver

Gold Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 13, 2018
676
1,573
468
64
Denver, Colorado
Why was it sarcasm? There are people that live in tents and nowadays they could have internet and basically live a 'normal' life as far as a life in the 'wild' goes. Better than moving across the earth or maybe about the same.

Maybe I should change my screen name to SARCASM because that's ME :)
Well, to be fair, your posts do lean towards sarcasm. Personally, I like that - but that's me. I like direct in your face, don't sugar coat it, answers.

The reason I like your posts mini (hey, that has a sarcastic tone doesn't it?) is I consider you a realist. You are a get it done kind of guy. That's the drive that makes you successful, and I understand you can't be successful in one area, and turn it off in another. I'm that way too. People tell me that I get upset too easily - when I don't - I just express things more directly than other people do. I call it what it is, and also punch holes in it if the need is there. I expect, no demand, the same treatment. I don't need to be mothered and feel warm and fuzzy. Tell me the truth! You can't handle the truth!.... ya, ya, ya...

Just thought you'd appreciate the constructive criticism mini - from a true fan. You "could" take a bit of the edge off sometimes in your response. I hear that same thing from people too ~ {sigh}
 

Fotis

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Feb 26, 2014
134
259
174
30
My advice:

The first hour of the day should belong to you.

Invest those 60 minutes in your own business, and then work for others. Over time, this measly hour will compound.

It's a very healthy mindset to have if you're working for others, and especially in your case who already has something going on for you.
 

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