Is goal setting B#LLSH@t?!

[0to100]

What is the forum's consensus on goal setting? I have a mindset problem that I have been struggling with for some time.

In one camp, you always hear about the importance of goal setting in personal development circles. Without goals, you'll be a ship without a sail, etc.,etc,. Think Anthony Robbins.

On the other hand, you hear people say goal setting is bullshit as most people will never achieve them and that you should be more concerned with habits. Think compound effect and Scott Adams.

Whenever I set a goal, I usually miss the target end date for whatever reason. I start to feel negative about myself.

Whenever I try to develop habits, it leads to action faking.

I need to fix this brain of mine, any suggestions from anyone here?

The programming in your brain is always leading you to goals. Unless you've consciously made goals, then your UNCONSCIOUS goals will be a result programming you've inherited from upbringing, surroundings, etc. Some people's (unconscious) goals are actually depression, broke, poor relationships, etc. Writing down conscious goals, constantly reminding yourself of them, and TAKING ACTION, then you will be programming your mind for actual goals.

So, you actually always have goals. Whether they're conscious or unconscious is your choice. Cheers!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[WJK]

I will begin to help the people, to achieve their goals, charity, more time for my family and I think that I will find a new big goal for me because all impossible, is possible.
Think about it!

Yes, that all sounds good. We'll see IF you still feel the same way when you get there... And yes, I have thought about the issues a lot over the years. And now I'm there. Yes, my current life's work involves helping a LOT of people. I tried retiring, but I'm not very good at it. It was boring.

That moment when you achieve your big goals is a crisis for most people. Dopamine floods your brain during anticipation. It's that high-energy feeling that puts you into the flow. You feel daring-- like you can win the world. But, when you "arrive" that flood of dopamine is gone. It's a very flat, sobering moment. That's when you say yourself, with some hesitation, "Next?" It's not anything like you thought it would be. And that's when a lot of people screw up. They blow the moment and lose everything that they have work for during all those years.

Here's an example that happened to me this last year...
I paid off my biggest and badest blanket commercial loan. It covered 3 major properties. Since I'm in RE, I have been working to be in this position for 35 years. I paid it off online during the pandemic since the banks were closed to customers. I waited a month. Nothing happened. So, I called the bank to find out where my paperwork was to reconvey my property titles. I was talking to a young man who answered their phones -- who was probably at home -- in his bedroom slippers...

Me, "Sir, I'm calling to ask about my paperwork on this loan I paid off."
Him, "That loan isn't paid off."
Me, "OK. What is the balance?"
Him, "0"
Me, "It sounds like it's paid off to me."
Him, "You did it all wrong!" he shouted at me through the phone.

Come to find out, they wanted me to call them before I paid it off so they could charge me a $75 fee. Yes, I paid the fee. It still took almost 2 more months to get the paperwork.

I had dreamed about this moment for years. I thought that balloons were going to fall from the ceiling. I thought that someone would shower me with confetti as I walk by. I was going to have an aurora of gold light around me. I was planning on copying that thick stack of papers I signed and have a mortgage burning party with the copies. We're were going to have a steak barbeque. Instead, I was told by a silly young man that I had done it wrong. Worse, they sent me one single piece of paper where they recorded the reconveyance of all three properties. That wasn't enough to build a fire and toast one marshmallow. I learned that bank was very unhappy that I had paid them off. Oh well.

Notice that all my expectations started with "I". But the actual experience wasn't like that at all. Do I want to make more big goals and try to climb the next mountain? I don't know right now. Give me time to catch my breath, and I'll let you know...