I worked in Military Intelligence...

[Mike TG]

@Cruor Vult, absolutely.

One of the most vital things that people do wrong with talking to another person is talk. It is the old adage "God gave you 1 mouth and 2 ears for a reason." Listening to the people you are interacting with is important for 2 reasons.

1. It immediately builds rapport - Just the simple act of listening while someone else talks, asking follow up questions about what they are saying, makes that person like you more. He thinks more highly of you because you are different. The majority of the population is thinking about what they want to say next while you are talking. Asking a question related to what that person was just saying shows that you are in fact listening and care. The best scenario is to actually care but even if you don't, fake it until you make it.

2. It gives you conversational ammunition - I love this keynote by Michael Ellsberg. It's 26 minutes long so if you don't have time to watch, let me summarize. When he does the onstage demonstration, he asks the lady about her business. About the thing that gets her most excited and what is the biggest problem she faces. He is extracting key elements of her motivations to better connect himself with her. What you learn by listening to someone talk is often the key to their inner motivation, if you are listening for it.

Practical Example - I was once trying to sell a midsize order to a customer. This was about 4-5k worth of home improvement. By listening to tiny hints (we call them conversational gates in the trade), I realized that he and his fiance were having trouble getting upgrades approved by the historical society. It was small things, like the fact that when I threw out options, he kept saying, almost under his breath, "That should work as long as it gets approved." He didn't come out and tell me that the historical society in charge of that old neighborhood had to approve any work that was done to the house. By listening to the subtle hints, I came out and asked him what he meant by "getting approved." Once I had this bit of information (business intelligence if you like) the sale came naturally. At this point, I had an edge on the other 3 companies giving him bids. I assured him that our process and product could align with the standards of the historical society so that he would have nothing to worry about. I even offered to bring out samples of product so that he and the decision makers could approve before he bought. Needless to say, we got the sale. One simple observation combined with one question made me a good chunk of change.

My point in this is that if you are not reading between the lines, you're losing. When you are trying to convince someone of something (vendors for a better rate, affiliate program managers for a better commission, customers for a sale, etc.) you can't be focused only on what you are going to say next. You have to collect the information (through the conversation), analyze it to figure out how to better serve that person (through their motivations), and then sell it back to them (using the "intelligence" you got from the conversation). Information is not intelligence until you analyze it.

Action Item: In the next conversation you have, ask a minimum of FIVE follow-up questions in reference to what that person is saying to you. This might be a significant other, a girl at the bar, a customer, a vendor, etc. It may even be a random person on the street or behind the counter at Walmart. If you are sincere with that person, you will find out more than you thought possible about the person. The more information you get, the more effective you are. This advice is as old as Sun Tzu and The Art of War. I'll do a post on the proper way to ask a question (sounds silly but it absolutely works) after I answer the pending questions.



Motivation is the other key factor that I touched on a little in what I already wrote. Let me expound. I would say that motivations are probably the SINGULAR most important factor when dealing with people. If you look back at a lot of advice on the forums and definitely through TMF book, specifically about filling a need, you will see this come out quite a bit.

1. Motivations are why people do things - Check out this article on the hind brain. This is essentially what you are targeting when you are using someones motivations to persuade them to do something that you want them to do. This part of the brain is used for decision making. And what motivates a decision? Is it that your product is better or cheaper? Maybe. But what does that mean to the person you are talking to?

2. Motivations are potent in a conversation - This is what you have to grab a hold of by using your ears and asking good questions. It may be as simple as more money to the person who is buying your stuff. And it is possible to get the order or the sale you want on that alone. But it is way stronger if you can sell them on what this will do for them, for what is important to them. We used to call this the need behind the need. An example of this is money itself. It is a motivator for many people. But is it money that is the motivator? Or is it what that motivator will buy?

What is more persuasive?

"You know Mr. Customer, Widget X will save you a lot of money."

"I love Widget X as a product because it enables our customers to save so much money. Like yourself, many of our customers are trying to put their daughters through college. This product saves them money so that they can do things just like that."

This is the power of motivations. The second way sells them through their hind brain. It taps into what is actually important to them. Money is only a tool. Subconsciously, everyone is trying to get something with the money they are trying to get. This is the need behind the need.

Practical Example - I once had a human source in another country (can't be more specific). She had information I needed on crime in a certain area. She didn't know I was military intelligence (plain clothes, left the badge at home, etc.). I needed to get this information through regular conversation, appealing to her motivations. At the moment, the most important thing to her was her significant other. We were all "friends" and he came to the place she worked quite often. I used this to talk about recent dangers in the area, commenting on the fact that I hoped he wouldn't get hurt from the crime in the area when he visited. This motivated her to talk about crime in the area. Extensively. I got what I needed.

A business example. I was working with a local advertiser. During our meeting I was constantly trying to assess his motivations. Because I was asking questions about his life and business, I got the sense that his primary motivation in business was to feel important as a businessman. An important member of the local community. I figured out through subtle hints that his wife wasn't super happy with the business he was in and how much time he put toward his endeavors. I knew that I needed to make him feel good about what he did. So I started to talk about how much we appreciated his help in building the business of a couple of veterans through his advertising efforts. I told him about how hard it was to get the word out about our service. What I actually did was create a need that he could fill, and while filling it, feel very important, like he had contributed to a good cause.

End result? He almost doubled the advertising we were receiving for the same price. Now, don't get me wrong. He had the advertising space anyway. It didn't cost him a lot. But it meant the world to us. I'm not saying that a major TV station can double your advertising just because you understand the motivations of the salesperson. What I am saying is that you can get the most out of people by using these methods. Get them to give you more because you have addressed their need, their motivation.

Action Item: When you are asking good questions and listening closely, try to assess the motivation of the person with whom you are talking. Then test it. How? If the Walmart lady starts bitching about how late she has to work tonight because you actually cared and asked her a question about it, try to find out why. Then ask her. If she is dropping hints about her kids, ask to see if you are right about the motivation.

"Wouldn't it be great to have more time to spend with your kids?"

This may sound super awkward but believe me, most people are so wrapped up in their own heads, they just want to hear that someone understands them. It just feels awkward to you. And you can figure out if you are doing it right.



Listening and assessing motivations (the need behind the need) will make you a potent force when persuading people to work with you, buy from you, etc. Think about how fast your business idea would work/grow if you could convince people to buy it. To convince vendors to supply you at the right price. Your landlord to give you the right price on the lease. Very fast is the answer. This is just one facet of business, but an important one. If you could get the most out people, how would your business grow?

Ok, I think that is enough for this one post. Sorry to make these so long. This is much easier to teach in person. I hope I answered your question.

 

[Mike TG]

Bottom Line Up Front: I worked in the human intelligence field in the Marine Corps. I have received extensive training on persuasion based on motivations, human interaction, and information extraction from people. If you have questions regarding any of this, I would love to hear them and give you my best take on the situation.

One thing that I love about being an entrepreneur is the idea that you can be successful by adding value to other peoples lives. I think this true in all of life, not just business. Although I have owned a business before and have some experience there, I have a different skill set that I hope can be helpful to treps in the Fastlane community.

I spent five of my ten years in the Marine Corps working in the human intelligence field. Here is a brief summary of my qualifications:

- Certified Interrogator

- Trained and operated in Counterintelligence (protecting information) and Human Intelligence (getting information from people)

- Operated in a dozen countries in South America, Europe and the Middle East

- Cross-cultural communication training

- Established and used human networks to get information

- Instructed Marines in the above subjects

It sounds like a really cool job, and don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it. But there is a lot more paperwork and it is much less sexy than Hollywood would have you believe.

What does this have to do with The Fastlane?

When I had my last business, I used my skill set almost every single day. You name it, it came in handy. Employee relations, vendor relations, and of course, SALES. Even over the phone, I was able to use what I had learned to get to the motivations behind the person who was making the decision.

Although I never interrogated anyone in a business setting (that would have been interesting and probably not worked so well haha), the fundamentals of human intelligence work so well in business it should be illegal. As many have said on these forums, people like to do business with people they like. It makes it so much easier to understand a few fundamentals of what makes the person you are interacting with tick.

Some are simple "tricks of the trade" like mirroring someones body language so that they feel more connected to you. Others are much deeper, like selling a big order to a business owner because you uncovered the fact that he relies on that business to put his daughter through college and you show him that you can help him achieve his goals with your product. It's not about the order. It's about what that order does to help him achieve his goals.

To use someones motivations, you first have to find out what they are. 50% of my job in the Marines was to teach young Marines how to ask good questions (yes, there is a good way and a bad way to ask the same exact question) and to listen, truly listen, so that you could get to these underlying motivations and use them.

I won't be able to talk about certain things. The government has a paper with my name on it that says I can't disclose certain things about specific operations and things of that nature. But this thread isn't meant to be a "war stories" thread. I would just like to share some of the thought process behind HOW we got people to tell us things and then used that to get where we needed to get with them.

Hopefully this adds some value to your endeavors. I look forward to your questions.

 

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[Mike TG]

@codo3500, I've never been in the real estate biz (well, buying a house but that doesn't count lol) but this stuff is really the same no matter the industry IMO. People are people.

To answer your question, it depends on the person. But there are "shortcuts", if you like, that can get you comfortable with the process of asking good and relevant questions that will get you to the base motivators. I really believe that anyone that wants to do this can. It is a matter of effort and commitment, as with most things in life. The only Marines that I failed to get through the training were the ones who just stopped trying. I know this is cliche all day long but it really is true.

All of the below only works with steady practice. I find that a significant other is great to practice with. Don't even tell them what you are doing. Just ask a ton of questions about their day. It will score you points (always nice) and will give you good practice at asking questions the right way and letting the person answer.

When it comes to business, just remember that mastering this can lead to more sales, connections, funding, etc. And also notice when you do it and when it works. It will give you motivation to continue. My fresh students (the good ones) always came back after a weekend and were like "Wow! This actually works!" to which I would reply "No shit...". Lol

Ok now for specifics. First, I think we have to break down why it is uncomfortable.

1. People (and I think Americans and other people from industrialized countries especially) are horrible at letting there be an awkward silence or "pregnant pause" in the conversation. They feel like they have to fill the space with something. That something is usually their own blathering. Most people (and I am not saying this to be funny) don't think when they speak. It is just a natural reflex. So actually asking something that matters and shutting the f*** up until the person answers is also awkward.

2. Normal human conversation is chock full of loaded questions, leading questions, compound questions, etc. So asking a direct, specific question violates a social norm and makes people feel awkward.

3. People run out of things to ask, so they talk instead.

Here is what we can do about it.

1. Practice getting comfortable with a pause in the conversation. Sometimes the person is just trying to think because you just wrecked their brain housing group with an awesome question that is taking them a minute to actually think about. The standard sales adage applies here; He who speaks first, loses. There are times when you just have to let the space be there. Trust me, the other person is feeling the conversational pressure just as much, if not more, than you are. It is like an unspoken game of chicken. I had a sale one time where literally no words were said, after I asked a very poignant question, for like 30 seconds. 30 seconds is a freaking lifetime in a conversation. But I wasn't going to lose. It may be awkward the first few times, but I think you will see that as you do this more, you will appreciate the time. While the person you are talking to is busy thinking, you can be assessing their body language and figuring out what is going on inside. Valuable time.

2. Ask a good question. These are what we called the basic interrogatives:

- Who?
- What?
- When?
- Where?
- Why?
- How?
- What else?
- What other?

So the first 6 are pretty basic. The other 2 are great at making sure you didn't miss anything. Here is the more important part. When you ask a question, ask a specific question.

Bad questions:

Do you want to go to Burger King or Taco Bell? (compound question)

So you want to see the new Thor movie, right? (leading question)

What else do you want to know about my product? (vague question)

Good questions:

Where do you want to eat? (Singular)

What movie do you want to see? (Open ended)

What other questions can I answer for you about our order fulfillment process? (Specific)

Asking a question the right way gets your target's (or customer, vendor, significant other, etc.) brain to focus on one thing at a time and to give an honest answer.

If you think the brain can do multiple things, I have an experiment for you. Get 2 people, pens, paper, paperclips and pennies. The goal is to stack 5 pennies, clip 5 paperclips together and draw 5 stars on the paper. Have one person do each task one at a time until 5 of each are done. Have the other person "batch" the task. Draw 5 stars, then stack 5 pennies, then clip 5 paperclips together. The one focused on doing the tasks one at a time will always win. It works the same way when trying to extract information from someone (which is what a question is). Give them 1 thing at a time to focus on. One question. It will reduce the pressure they feel and make communication much more effective.

3. Running out of things to ask leads to dumb things being said before you have enough information. It also feels awkward to ask silly questions because we have nothing better to ask or say. Here is a game I used to play with my students. It is very simple. You can play with other people (a little more fun) or with yourself.

Get any object and ask questions about it. The simpler the object, the harder the exercise. I used to grab the pen out of my pocket and make my students ask questions about it. It sounds silly but you can ask hundreds of questions about a pen. Most people stop at the following.

What type of pen is it? What color is the ink? Do you like your pen?

Deeper questions - Where did you buy the pen? How much did you pay for it? Who manufacturers the pen? What is the pen made of? Is the comfortable to use? How many pens come in a standard pack?

The whole point of this exercise is that there is an unlimited number of questions to ask about anything. Running out of good questions is awkward and quite silly. Most people only go 1 level down. That is not where the motivations are. They are deeper.


Getting comfortable with this process just takes time. It is natural for me now. I still use bad questions sometimes, when I am not paying a lot of attention to the conversation. But when I need to, I can flip the switch and get into "debrief mode". That is when my questions become laser focused. I extract what I need from that person. It is a conscious effort that becomes more comfortable to switch to over time.

My best analogy would be swinging a hammer. The first time you do it, its awkward. It feels weird and you don't quite feel like you are hitting the nail correctly. After time and practice, you can swing harder and more accurately. Same with a question. It is a tool to extract the information you need from your target to get what you need done, to discover their inner motivation and use it.

 

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[Mike TG]

@Stephanos83, I'll answer your question in a second. I have to take a personal time out...

Everyone reading this thread, THANK YOU. I don't think you actually know what the response to this thread has done for me. Prior to this, I didn't really know what I had to add to the conversation. I wasn't sure of what value I could contribute. Knowing that I can help people understand the basics of human interaction and improve their business and their lives means everything to me.

My first child, Benjamin, was born 8 weeks ago. My little boy... Benjamin. I look at him, late at night, when my whole house is quiet, when he is sleeping in his crib and I realize that we all started there, as a small, helpless person. The only thing that has brought us to the point we are at today is the generosity of people, people who taught us and exposed us to new ideas. I think of the endless frontier of technology and progress that he will experience throughout his life and I know that it is not the wonders of innovation, but the people, the people who will be the most important part of his life. They will make or break his experience.

This earth is a cold, dark place without people like you. The connections we make warm our lives, as you have warmed mine. I truly appreciate each and every one of you who has participated in our shared discovery of human interaction in this thread.

STOP.

What are you feeling right now? What emotions did the previous sentences evoke? What images are floating through your mind?

I wrote this post to answer @Stephanos83's question. This is how to handle cold-emails or really any other written communication where you need to make an impact. Now, I don't claim to be a master of copy. I am much more of a student in that discipline. But I understand the fundamentals. Connect Emotionally. Most people don't want to do this because they don't want to admit that it works. And honestly, I probably didn't get everyone. There are a few who thought "What an emotional wuss" or "Grow a pair man" and that is just fine. This is a numbers game. You never bat a thousand. You don't need a thousand. You just need as many as you can get. And the sheople (sheep+people) of the world fall for this stuff hook, line, and sinker.

I want to break down the above paragraphs to give you my thought process behind writing this "hook" the way I did.

Set The Tone: So first I wanted to set the tone for what I was about to present. This is a subconscious setup. I just want to prime you for something different than what I've written before. So I call a "personal timeout" (what does that actually mean? Nothing.) to key your subconscious brain, your hind brain, that something different is coming, in order to make it more malleable for what I am about to attempt to do.

Open the emotion: I needed to prepare the subconscious mind for what I was about to write, so I gave emotion in order to get emotion. "...means everything to me." sets the bar for a big emotional exchange.

Paint the Picture: This is HUGE. I can't count the amount of times I have yelled this at a student of human intelligence in the Marine Corps. Paint the Picture means you have to give details, to verbally make your target imagine what you are saying. The devil is in the details. I brought a baby into the picture because that is a universal symbol. Even if you never want to have kids, you know what a baby looks like and what emotions that can evoke. Repetition of certain details ensure that your hind brain listens to what I am really saying. Specific details are as follows:

- "My little boy... Benjamin." --- I repeated child/boy and then the name twice each, because I wanted the picture of a baby in your brain, evoking tenderness and compassion.

- "I look at him, late at night, when my whole house is quiet, when he is sleeping in his crib..." --- You can picture late at night. You can picture a quiet house. You can picture a child in his crib. I have to take you into the story, to take you into the world I am creating.

- "...endless frontier of technology..." and "This earth is a cold, dark place..." --- These are very descriptive and have the proper adjectives to make you imagine and feel what I need you to feel. Endless possibilities in the first and cold desolation is the second.

- "The connections we make warm our lives, as you have warmed mine." --- This is an example of contrasts. There is no light without the dark. There is no warmth without cold. Contrasts are a great tool to push and then pull someone to different emotional extremes, filling the empty space in the middle with emotion.

Painting the picture is insanely important, whether written or spoken. If you have that persons motivation, the need behind the need, then you can paint the picture around this idea and effectively connect to the hind brain in order to affect a decision. I've used the "putting the daughter though college" idea before in this thread.

What does that really look like? What does that feel like? Where would it take place?

It depends on what college the persons daughter attends. It depends on what that place looks like. These are the details you need to capture and then paint in order to make an emotional connection.

"Imagine your daughter (insert daughters name), walking across that wooden stage to shake the dean's hand. As he nods in approval, you see the smile on her face, more than just happiness, but a smile of accomplishment as she becomes her own person. Such an amazing feeling to see our children go on to accomplish their dreams, isn't it?"

Context: An emotional connection trumps all, whether verbal or written. This sets the stage for the follow up. Write something with these principles and that person will remember you. Obviously the context of what I wrote had to do with this forum and what has been discussed prior to this post. But even in an absolute cold context, this works. I recently gave money to Wikipedia because the founder wrote a letter outlining his vision about what Wikipedia stood for and what he felt it meant for future generations. This hit me in the emotional crotch and I gave money. I felt the emotion from his words and I took action. Was he being honest? Was I in the above paragraphs? In the end, it doesn't matter. The action was taken.

So @Stephanos83, I hoped this helped. I love that I can help people but its especially great to know that a few of my brothers in arms are on the forums. What service were you in?

 

[Mike TG]

@Griffith, I agree. Human behavior is endlessly fascinating. I mentioned this in my intro post but even though my job and the military in general is very, very slowlane, I did enjoy it and learned things that I could learn no where else.

So NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)... They brought in a guy who had a master's degree in psychology to give us this class when I was in the school. In his words?? "I don't like it."

Let me clarify. Throughout the next couple of weeks, he clarified his position on NLP. It made sense to me then and made more sense to me after I operated in different countries. The problem with NLP is that people are so different. Trying to codify whether a look up to the left or down and to the right means the difference between lie and truth is nearly impossible. (BTW, I don't even know if that is right. That is how little standard NLP means to me.)

In theory, it sounds great. Certain areas of the brain are responsible for certain functions and the eyes and other body parts can tell you what part of the brain the person is accessing. The problem? Everyone is different. If you are a strict practitioner of NLP, then you get blind-sided when you meet the inevitable curve ball.

Here is what I advocate instead.

The eyes and body are absolutely the key to what someone is thinking. It is just not the same for everyone. Pick up a book on body language. It will give you an idea of the general ideas. And read about NLP. It will help you know what parts to focus on. But everyone is different. It is an art, backed up by a science. If you are paying attention to the changes in someones body language and eye movements, you will see when something changes from the baseline.

The baseline is something very important when playing this game. A persons baseline tells you what they are like normally. So while you are chit-chatting with someone, or BSing about the dodgers game that weekend, practice picking up what they are normally like in a conversation. Then throw them a curveball. Start talking about something you know interests them and see how the eyes flick up to your eyes and become interested. Microexpressions (google it) in the face are also important. A slight flex in the muscles that make a person smile can betray that they are happy about something you are saying, even if they are trying to hide it.

Treat it more like a poker game. What you are really looking for are tells. What does the person do when they are....

Uncomfortable?
Lying?
Sincere?
Desperate?
Happy?
Satisfied?
Convinced?
Etc...

It takes a little time to learn each person. We dealt with this in interrogations. You have to know when the person is "broken." You have to figure out what interrogation approach is working. It is the same in business. You have to figure out when the person moves from evaluating (or disbelieving) what you are saying to getting close to being sold on what you want or need them to do. That is when you ask for what you want. Do it to soon and they aren't ready. Do it to late and they might be irritated because they were ready to say YES ten minutes ago. I can tell you that something will absolutely change. Their posture may become more relaxed. They may start nodding their head. It is the subconscious clues you are looking for. Something will tell you when it is time to move from convincing to asking. Asking for the sale is probably the most profitable use of this but really anytime you need to convince someone to do anything, this can be used.

"NLP" is just a system trying to figure out when something changes internally. IMO, it is just to strict. It doesn't allow for all the differences people have. Figure out what that person's tell is and you have it made. This takes time and may not even happen on the first meeting. I can tell you that just by being interested in what a person's body language and eyes are telling you, you are light years ahead of most people. Being interested in what these clues tell you is absolutely the first step.

The flip side to becoming good at this is that you are more easily able to conceal your intentions and emotions. If you understand how you show excitement or happiness, you can either fake it or hide it, depending on the situation. This was part of the Counterintelligence side of my job. If a human source started talking about something that I really needed information on, I couldn't become super excited. It would show my cards. The next time a door-to-door salesman come to your door, step out of your house immediately after he finishes his immediate pitch and tell him that this is EXACTLY what you have been looking for. His face will light up (because he faces rejection all day long) and you will see what I am talking about. Most people can't control their emotions. If you can, you have an edge.

 

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[Mike TG]

I've ran a Door-to-Door sales company for almost 2 years, and I've learnt reading body language and learning to decipher thought-process is a skill that will change the way you view the world.

@Silverhawk851, I couldn't have said it better myself. This is a skill that does change the way you view the world. It's like peeking behind the curtain and seeing the wizard. And I definitely have respect for you running door-to-door sales. Very tough business. I would credit my time doing that with sparking a passion for deciphering human interaction. I wanted to know why people said yes and why people said no.

To answer your questions...

Here are the 3 resources that I recommend. I made every one of my guys have these as well.

1. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie - This one is a classic and kind of a no-brainer. This lays a good foundation for human interaction.

2. A body language book - I leave this open ended because there are so many out there, geared toward different situations. Body language in general, body language for executives, etc, etc. It really depends on how deep you want to go. What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro is a good one. Even Body Language for Dummies will give you a basic primer. A lot of these books say a lot of the same thing. I think it is more important to get in the right mindset for paying attention to little cues. Many books on this topic will do this for you.

3. The Interrogator by Raymond Toliver - This is the story of Hanns Scharff. He was the most effective Nazi interrogator. Period. He later moved to the US and actually helped shape a lot of US interrogation policy and practice.

A quick aside on the 3rd recommendation... The art of interrogation has a really bad rap. It is usually associated with "bad cop, good cop" or some cheesy hollywood version where people are getting tortured and shot in the knee cap. Cool to see on a movie, garbage in real life.

Here is a little secret... Interrogation is nothing more than a conversation. The difference between this conversation and one you have on a daily basis? The interrogator is purposely using his words to manipulate the emotional state of the detainee in order to apply the right amount of pressure to cause him or her to "break." That's it. We affectionately called it "Verbal Judo".

You can find WHAT the interrogation approaches are by googling them. The HOW behind interrogation approaches is a protected secret in the intelligence community.

But what does all of this have to do with business?

If you want a customer to get excited about a product, you are trying to manipulate their emotional state. If you are trying to get a vendor excited about doing business with you, you are trying to manipulate his emotional state. Some situations are easier than others. It is about trying to get the most out of the person with whom you are interacting. Hanns Scharff was a great interrogator because he spent time building rapport, befriending the prisoners, and then using the things he learned to break down their barriers so that they would talk. Sound familiar?

It happens a lot quicker on a door step but the fundamentals still apply. If you stand really close to someones door, it is going to freak them out when they answer. Good luck getting the sale from someone who is already creeped out by you. It applies even more when they are interested and your salespeople are trying to close. If you teach your salespeople how to pull a Hanns Scharff, to be likeable and to understand how to break down someones barriers on an emotional level, sales will go up.


My personal training was almost 5 months of school in an immersive training environment. 7 days a week and long days at that. 48 hours at a time of no sleep while running back-to-back interrogations. Things like that. After graduating and being sent to learn French, it was time spent in the field.

As far as methods that anyone can use to practice, a lot of the failures I saw out of the school had to do with really basic stuff. People that couldn't hold a conversation. People that ran out of questions to ask. People that did not dig deep enough. So the things I do and made my guys do to keep ourselves sharp was to practice these fundamentals. Everywhere. All the time. I think a lot of salespeople just practice when they are in front of the customer. Which sucks for the business owner because good leads get burnt by training a sales guy. Here are a few more:

1. The question game - I outlined this for @codo3500. The reason questions are such a great weapon to have in the arsenal is that it exploits a fundamental truth about humans. We love to talk. Just look at how long my posts are to see this truth in action. But it is very true. Training salespeople to see a hundred different questions in every situations means they will never be at a loss for words. Ask a good question and the conversation is off and running again. Ask a really good question at the right time and you will find out what problem is that you have to solve to get a yes. Questions are the foundation for human intelligence and in my opinion, for human interaction in general.

2. Steering a conversation - We all know the people that can steer a conversation simply because they don't let anyone else talk. That is not what I mean. That will burn rapport with your target. Artfully directing the conversation is vital. Always be closing is a great thing to say, but when you really break it down, it means steering the conversation closer to the close, ensuring the situation is set up for a yes. And this applies to anyone, not just a customer you are trying to sell to. This is something that can be practiced everyday and everywhere.

When I had my guys practice getting a piece of information from someone (say the target's mother's maiden name), they weren't allowed to directly ask for the name. They had to get it indirectly through the conversation. The target had to think it came up naturally (think the movie Inception, but less Leo and no dreams). They were practicing multiple things at once. How to introduce themselves and gain interest (we call it bumping the target), how to make small talk to build rapport, how to steer the conversation closer to what they actually want to talk about (the targeted information), and most importantly how to ask all the right questions to get to the prize.

3. Getting people to laugh - A well placed one-liner is probably one of the best ways to build rapport. Laughter is universal. Try to make the clerk behind the counter chuckle as you check-out. Try to make the bartender laugh (this can be a little harder). The more you practice, the more naturally it comes when you need it.

Finally, the thing that makes this all work is for a person to realize that you can't be one thing to all people. Reading someone on the fly and tailoring the conversation to who they are is where the magic is. When I first started to learn this, I treated it like a PPC campaign. Split test like crazy. I would crash and burn but learn something every time. If the conversation dropped off, I would obsess about it later, wondering why it happened and what I could have done better.

We called my job a personality based one. We definitely tried to recruit the right people first. Motivated, natural personality, etc. But the majority of the gains came through training. This skill can absolutely be practiced and made better, just like anything else.

 

[Mike TG]

@Zulu, that is not a silly question. That is probably the most common question I have gotten in the past.

In my opinion, Spy Game with Robert Redford and Brad Pitt probably comes the closest. It is still off by a long shot (they don't show 3 hours of paperwork for every 1 hour of sexy operations). But the way Redford trains Pitt is pretty accurate.

For example, I used to send my students out to do elicitation exercises. using real people out in town on the weekends. So I would give them a targeted piece of information like "Find out the target's mother's middle name." The point of an exercise like this was two-fold.

1. To get them out of their comfort zone. The crash and burn stories were hilarious. They had to get out and embarrass themselves a few times to get over the jitters. Same thing in business. Want to be good at selling something? Get out of your comfort zone. Give yourself many, many chances to try. Great thing about the earth? It is huge. Their are 6 billion+ people living on it. 90%+ of the people you meet, you will never meet again. So who gives a shit? Try something new and get out of your comfort zone. At least the Marines I trained only got yelled out for not accomplishing their goal. In the "real world", you make no sales and make no money.

2. To give them practice. Practice is needed to sharpen this skill, like most skills. So it didn't really matter what piece of information I told them to get. They had to find a way to work it into the conversation and get the info. I started in my teens doing door-to-door sales and telemarketing. Tough businesses but it taught me persistence and gave me SO MUCH practice. The human intelligence program in the Marine Corps has a failure rate of more than 80%, from application to school graduation. Business has an even worse failure rate. Life is tough. Get out and practice.

 

[Mike TG]

@DanielTArgueta The intelligence community is always looking for smart guys and gals. It is not fastlane (unless you own a private intelligence company) but it can be exciting and is very interesting, especially when you first get into it.

As far as digital mediums, yes we used them but no they are not what we usually target per se. I can tell you a quick story to highlight how I've used digital mediums that won't reveal anything sensitive.

I needed to get a guy to back off from a certain person at one point. By exploiting his social media page, I found out his likes, dislikes, family members, etc. I called him up, posing as someone from a dealership saying he was in the final running for winning a new (insert favorite make of vehicle) and that he had been submitted for the contest by (insert family member). Right away, my story is believable. He is excited because he let emotion go to his head. So I use this to start extracting a lot of personal and sensitive information, saying I had a package to send him in regards to the prize. After I had enough information, I turn the tables and tell him I am from such and such agency (not a real agency) and that he has to back off or charges will be brought against him for harassment which will affect his future career endeavors (a very important motivation, which I also found on his social media). He naturally gets extremely frightened and I back him off slowly, telling him that I think he is a good person in a bad situation (you have to give them a way out) and that I would shred the file if he did what I needed him to do. No more interference.

I tell you this to show you how powerful research can be, the human hacking side of the digital space. I am not advocating anyone do what I did. I lied to this person, extensively, because that was my job at the time. The lesson to be learned is that research can be insanely helpful. When it boils down, its just more information to help you target the conversation you are going to have. Sometimes you have to get it as you go.

I have not read that specific book but it looks interesting. I just added it to my "Books to Read" list. Thanks for bringing it up.

As far as methods for extracting specific pieces of information, it is more of a process called elicitation. For a specific thing like a phone number or email, it depends on what works for you.

I used to have a nearly fail proof way to get a phone number (I say used to because I am married now). As long as the conversation was going well, I would tell the girl that she was probably (making sure she knew there was room to improve) the coolest person (not girl, person, to take some of the pressure off and keep a little mystery) I had met that night and that we should hang out at some point in the future. Then I would step in and put my phone into her bubble (personal space) and tell her to put her number into my phone so I could text her my number. My phone was already pulled up to the dialer so there was no barrier. She would instinctively take the phone because of its proximity and then put it in. This worked quite often. Sleezy? Yea a little. But it worked.

My point in all of this is that you have to find a method that works for you, that you are comfortable with. It can be one line or two lines that you have practiced so they sound natural. I used to get emails and phone numbers from people or potential customers all the time using a similar method. The work of getting the number or email doesn't happen when you ask for the information, but in all the conversation before that point. If they are comfortable with you and you show them the reason you need that information and why it will be good for them, they will give it to you. Someone I met randomly who found out what kind of business I owned would start talking about a home improvement they wanted to do because I gently steered the conversation that way.

How does that translate into a lead?

Easy. I show them that I know what I am talking about (establish credibility) then ask them for a contact because I want to send them some pictures of some things I think would look great based on their vision of the home improvement they were talking about. They walk away happy they met me because I can help them solve a problem.

I don't want you to think I batted a thousand by any means. This kind of stuff is a numbers game. Even human intelligence is a numbers game. You may meet a hundred people who are not right for what you need or don't want anything to do with you. Then you meet the one who is. And you are off and running from there.

For your last question (and not to give you a shitty answer) but everything I am spilling on this thread is what was most valuable about my training. I don't mind sharing it at all because to be honest, I've seen the failure rate first hand. Not a lot of people will take it and use it to its full potential. Plus I feel like MJ and the whole TMF community has given a ton to me. Time to pay it forward.

 

[Mike TG]

@TedM, First off, a veteran is a veteran. And Benjamin is a great name! haha Thank you for your service, no matter when and where.

For everyone else, I know I have some pending questions to get to and I usually try to take them in the order I get them but I wanted to get to @TedM's question first because he has some action to take in the near future.

I love your coffee site and business. I can't tell you how many days my wife and I are sitting on our back porch drinking coffee, wishing we were at a Parisian cafe. Truly, it's more than just coffee. It's an experience and a trip down memory lane for those who have traveled abroad. So thanks for doing the work to make this available!

Opening the conversation is the most important part, in my opinion. It sets the tone and putting it in the right context will work wonders when you get into the bulk of the conversation. I don't even know who the business owner is so I'm just going to throw out some possible scenarios to try and help. The following will have very little to do with the business end of the phone call. You know your numbers, your price points, etc. My advice is about the other half of the conversation. Getting this guy to see value in YOU FIRST, then in your product.

1. Research - I am sure you have already done this on his company based on your specific knowledge about his product and brand. But who is he? Anything you can read on him (social media, news articles, linkedin profile, etc.) will give you a better idea of who you are talking to. And try to look a little deeper than just what he has accomplished. DO NOT be afraid to make an assessment about who he is as a person. You may be completely off the mark but at least you have a starting point. A starting point will allow you to quickly adjust if you can see that you either drew the wrong impression or that he has a different persona personally than the one he puts forward publicly.

Example: If during your research you see that he is involved in high society (galas, charity events, etc.) than you can make an assessment that he may be expecting to get to know you as a person first, to connect with you as a person before he commits to connecting to you as a business. If you see pictures of him doing a keg stand at a NASCAR race, you can assess that he may have a casual manner and so your opening would be more friendly than formal, like you are greeting him at a neighborhood barbecue.

2. Planning - Once you have done the research, approach your thoughts on this conversation like you would when split testing a website for conversion. You have to start somewhere. You must have an opening "salvo", so to speak. We were made to do this with all of our human intelligence operations. You have to make a plan first. More than half the time, the plan is modified on the fly. And that is completely fine. What the planning does is to force you to do your due diligence on who this man is a person so that you can then tailor your approach to what will be most effective with this individual. Once you have some "data" (i.e. it is going really well and your initial assessments were spot on or it's not and you have to go to plan B, from high society to NASCAR) from the first 1 or 2 minutes of conversation, you can adjust to try and get a higher return from the following minutes of the conversation. This may seem like a lot of thought to put into the first half of one conversation and really, it is a lot of work. This, however, is the difference between those who PLAN for a conversation to go well and those who HOPE a conversation goes well. Hope is not an action plan.

3. Practice - When I was a student at the Marine Corps intelligence school, the first day of class our lead instructor came in to introduce himself. He spoke to us about the rules, what was expected, etc. but the thing that really stood out in my mind was what he said about the curriculum. He said, "Gents, we are not really going to be teaching you anything new here. You have been having conversations your entire life. The only thing we are going to teach you is to how to have a conversation that has a purpose, a conversation that gets you what you need." That has stuck with me. The difference between the muddled conversations that random people have and the conversations I have is that I have a laser focus and the knowledge of how to get to that purpose.

So practice what you are going to say out loud, in your car, in the shower, wherever. I do not mean to memorize a script. That is about the worst way to try and have a natural sounding conversation. Instead, the practice will allow you to feel your way through what you are going to say and give you little bits to use when and if you need them during the conversation. Think about practice like this as building the tools that you are going to take into into the conversation. You don't know what the job (conversation) will entail, but the more tools in your tool bag, the better prepared you will be.


I am going to make an assessment about you. Based on your work background, the way you write, and even your picture (the style of the beard and haircut mainly) I would assess that you are not the kind of guy who makes senseless small talk. You like to dig into the deeper parts of a subject when discussing it, to make progress deeper, not wider. If we sat for an hour with a cup of coffee, I could see us talking deeply about 2 or 3 topics, but not widely about 9 or 12 topics. You can chit-chat if you need to, but prefer to be learning, teaching, or debating in a conversation. For you, the conversation is about developing an idea and developing a mind.

Now I may be completely off, but that is the approach with which I would start. At least I have a first plan of attack. If you turn out to be chatty beyond belief, no big deal. I can quickly change my tone and rate of speech in order to match yours and jump topics until your heart is content.

Some people are going to read this and think, "I am the way I am. I'm not changing it for anyone, let alone one conversation." That's fine. It's your success, not mine. I would say think about it this way instead. This catalog owner's time is valuable as evidenced by your efforts to get a hold of him. If it is valuable and he wants to spend half that time getting to know YOU (where you travel, what got you into the coffee business, etc.) because he believes this information is necessary for him, then go with it. If he wants to take this time to go deep and have an in depth conversation about pricing strategy and sales volume, then do that.

This will also give you more time to assess for his motivations. Your product is already his "baby". So you know he is interested. Why? What is his biggest problem? Does he want to feature you on the front cover so more people will pick it up? Does he think your product will add a mint to his bottom line? As you talk and get a feel for him, you will be able to assess this or gently introduce these topics so that he will start tipping his hand.

That was the long answer. The short answer, in my opinion, is to just start off with a friendly greeting and a gentle compliment on his catalog. Think professional admiration. By listening to his answer, you can read volumes into him as a person. If he gives you a solid two minutes on the vision for the catalog, you've got an ego and a man obsessed. If he shrugs it off with an almost embarrassed humility, different story. Either way is good. Like a split test, it is all about the data.

Quick Edit: In reference to your specific questions you want to ask him, I think you will find by doing the above, those questions will be no problem for you to ask. Once the relationship is established (and this can happen in conversation number 1), saying "I would love to get your thoughts on..." will get you whatever you need to know.

 

[Silverhawk851]

What are 3 resources you would consider a MUST in any human intelligence specialist's library?

How did you train to develop those skills, I.e what practice did you do? Methods?

I've ran a Door-to-Door sales company for almost 2 years, and I've learnt reading body language and learning to decipher thought-process is a skill that will change the way you view the world.

 

[Mike TG]

I was looking up Jordan Belfort from the new Wolf of Wall Street movie and I came across this gem. Although he used his abilities to break the law (spent 4 years in the federal pen and still owes over 100 million in restitution) the lesson is still golden.

This is from an article that talks about a scene from the movie, where Belfort asks a room full of salespeople to sell him a pen. Funny enough, when I was being interviewed for acceptance into the military intelligence field, I got asked to do this same thing.

How to Sell a Pen

“It’s sort of a trick question. Because when you say to a salesman, ‘Sell me this pen,’ you might find some will say to you, ‘This is a great pen, this pen writes upside down. It defies gravity, this pen is the cheapest pen on earth, this pen will never run out.’ They’ll say all the reasons the pen is good, they’ll start telling you the features, and the better ones will give you the benefits too. But that’s not what the real answer is.

“The real answer is, before I’m even going to sell a pen to anybody, I need to know about the person, I want to know what their needs are, what kind of pens do they use, do they use a pen? How often do they use a pen? Do they like to use a pen formally, to sign things, or use it in their everyday life? The first idea is that when you say ‘Sell me this pen,’ I want to hear [the salesman] ask me a question. ‘So tell me, how long have you been in the market for a pen?’ I want them to turn it around on me and start asking me questions to identify my needs, what I’m looking for. And if you do that, people don’t know what to do. Next thing, he is answering, and now I’m controlling the conversation, finding out exactly what he needs.

“Once I have that, I say, ‘You know, Bill, based on what you’ve just said to me, the pen I have here is the perfect fit. Let me tell you what it’s about…’ Then you can tell them about what you have, because you’re filling a need. Most average or newbie salespeople think that they’re supposed to sell you the pen, when a really seasoned salesperson will actually turn it into a qualifying session to find out what you need. That’s the truth of it. It’s like trying to sell someone a house and you don’t know if they’re in the market for a house, what kind of house they want, how many kids – so how can you sell someone a house? That’s the point.”


It's all about the needs...

 

[throttleforward]

I used to send my students out to do elicitation exercises. using real people out in town on the weekends. So I would give them a targeted piece of information like "Find out the target's mother's middle name."

I smell a business opportunity here. I bet there are plenty of people who would pay you to run them through a "sales improvement"/"public speaking"/etc. course designed around accomplishing and then reporting back on real world challenges you lay out.

I can see the headline now..."military intelligence agent teaches you the 4 secrets to making girls want YOU!"

 

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[Mike TG]

@randomnumber314 Yea they probably were. It becomes second nature after a while, and has to be turned off to maintain good and honest relationships with those you care about.

I was in a brick and mortar service business. I love that other veterans are on here. Want to fix the veteran unemployment rate? Give them all a copy of TMF as they exit the military! haha

 

[Mike TG]

@IAmTheJeff Love the motivation man! Let me know what you get when you try it. Like I said, crash and burn stories are great (if that happens) and success is even better. Let's get those mother's middle names! haha

@DanielTArgueta Let me know how it went for you guys. I could write another post specifically on conversational gates, steering the conversation, extracting specific pieces of info through elicitation, etc. if that is something that would interest you guys.

 

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[Mike TG]

@throttleforward Yea I could see that now. haha

What is funny about the "girls" aspect of using this skill is that it is a natural byproduct of the process of retraining yourself to see the world differently. I don't have a picture of me on the forum but trust me, it ain't this face that got me my hot wife. Lol Beauty and the beast. This beast simply perfected his Verbal Judo.

Out of respect for the ladies on the forum, my field just happened to be extremely male dominated. One thing I always said when I was operating is that us guys went to school for 5 months just to learn what you ladies learned in the womb. On average, women are more empathetic. My field opened up to women a couple years ago and the ones that knew what they were doing were GREAT.

 

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[Silverhawk851]

Great points @Mike TG. I've read all of those resources, and would give them as required reading to all my sales guys.

Another point I would stress upon is that FACTS TELL, EMOTIONS SELL.

Alot of people get too caught up in the reading, and mechanics of the sale, that they forget to focus on the 'feelings' of the sale or anything.
Remember, Feelings are Contageous. Most people do not have a strong will, and their emotional state changes with their surroundings.

If you come up with a genuine emotional state of confidence, happiness and spontaneity, the other person will feel it and also embrace that.
But if you roll up with a low energy, but try to 'perfect' your sales pitch, etc. You'll strike out and be wondering what happened.

To generate evoke good feelings in others, you must not only have a good emotional state yourself, but also create a Rapport with them. To create a rapport, you must understand, that the person you are speaking to, lives in a COMPLETELY different world that you.

They do not see things the same way. "We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are" - Unknown

You must understand their point of view, life from their "world", what values they have, what excites them, bothers them, affects their decision making. To understand and uncover these, you must ask the Right Questions. "Why does that mean so much to you?' "How do you figure?" "How did you decide on that?" "What motivated you to do that?" "What was it that influenced your decision?"

The key is to maintain your own emotional state, but suspend any judgement of their world, just be open and accept it for what it is, and use it to help navigate them.

Takes some time to develop that emotional strength, being unaffected by any circumstance.

I teach my guys to develop a strong emotional barrier, let nothing external, or someone else's state affect yours, and you will be able to lead. Emotional fortitude is a defining quality of leaders. People need to rely on leaders who are assured and emotionally stable.

 

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[Mike TG]

Remember, Feelings are Contageous.

Exactly. Emotion trumps logic, logic trumps emotion. Emotion is really the key to a lot of human interaction. Not to say intelligence agent's or entrepreneurs have to be running around crying on shoulders. But a positive energy communicated through words will tear down walls.

you must understand, that the person you are speaking to, lives in a COMPLETELY different world that you.

Spot on. THIS is the single hardest thing to get people to understand. Empathy sounds so touchy-feely. When in reality, it is just the ability to see that an emotion is happening to another person. Most people start feeling the original emotion when this happens (because they are contagious). The trained person recognizes it and makes a conscious decision on what to do in response. Huge difference.

 

[Determined2012]

Nice thread. I think I would do very well in this line of work. I have some of the traits and mannerisms already that you spoke about teaching the Marines how to cultivate.

Rep+++

 

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[ExecutionisKing]

Mike, thank you for your service.
This thread has some killer info in it! I’ve been taking notes…

1. It immediately builds rapport - He thinks more highly of you because you are different. The majority of the population is thinking about what they want to say next while you are talking

This is good. I do this a lot personally, and I definitely feel like it’s one of the reasons that I’m an excellent conversationalist (imo).

What you learn by listening to someone talk is often the key to their inner motivation, if you are listening for it.

This is so helpful in finding consumer needs. I’ve always used my insights of people to make the conversation interesting. This is a shove in the right direction for me. Namely that I need to start working from a producer mindset and start cataloguing consumer pains due to needs.
From this new angle. I can see that some of the needs may be caused by goals of unfulfilled motivations…

-If you are not reading between the lines, you're losing.
-Information is not intelligence until you analyze it.
-I would say that motivations are probably the SINGULAR most important factor when dealing with people.
-Listening and assessing motivations (the need behind the need) will make you a potent force when persuading people to work with you, buy from you, etc.
-Emotion trumps logic, logic trumps emotion.
-It is a lot of work. This, however, is the difference between those who PLAN for a conversation to go well and those who HOPE a conversation goes well.

These, along with the last one quoted are my favorite of your "one liners," so far. Not sure how many I missed though...

Action Item: In the next conversation you have, ask a minimum of FIVE follow-up questions in reference to what that person is saying to you.

I like this challenge. I’ll get into this more in a bit, but in general, at what point do people start feeling like you’re prying/really going after the hook, rather than letting them make their own decision? Or if it’s a good question, based on what they just said, maybe they don’t, since everyone likes to talk about themselves…

Regarding the widget example…

"You know Mr. Customer, Widget X ……
"I love Widget X as a product …

Here’s where I’m confused. I could be crazy, or looking at this from the wrong angle.
For me, as soon as a salesman or anyone trying to get me involved in something appeals to my emotions, I get, well… irritated?
I just don’t think I’m very susceptible to being sold too based on any “emotions” they try to trigger in me(at least not as the primary reason in anything I've bought yet). I think it actually shuts me down (just thought of this, maybe the emotional appeal is so strong I can’t mentally take it, and shut down? Highly doubt it, but it was a thought, and I caught it before it escaped...)

FACTS TELL, EMOTIONS SELL.

Again, this is where I find myself to be the opposite. For the most part, emotions don’t sell me, at all. They’re like a turn-off, where too much of them makes me feel like the product can’t sell me on itself, and must resort to bandwagon and happiness appeals.
The facts of what a product can do are what make me interested in it (don't remember any emotions felt over facts, it's either yes or no). I feel like “what the product can do for me” already helped lead me there, so making me think about it more doesn’t make me somehow emotionally attached, and eager to get it…

If I haven’t heard of it before and was being pitched on it, I honestly think I really only care about the facts, and make my own usefulness equation from that, and then take time to compare it to similar things. I don’t need a line about what great family memories I can build with it, or anything like that.

I’m trying to say that I think I evaluate pretty strictly on facts. Is that plausible? Are you hearing anything deeper behind everything that I’m not seeing?

Ex. Clothing store (long time ago). Tried jeans on, came out to look in the mirror (but didn’t think they were really my fit preference). Sales girl/shelf arranger (pops out of nowhere) and goes, “Wow, you look great in those!”

Now I was a little younger. I remember her as being pretty attractive, and ~5 years older than me. At that age (15?), I could’ve fallen for it. But instead I looked and thought, “These don't feel comfortable, or look "cooler" to me, I’ll try on the other pair” and then, “I wonder if she’s paid to say that?”
Tried the other pair on. Came out, liked them. She told me she thought I looked better in the first pair (she was actually really sweet, and wasn’t being nosey, just said it in an offhand/energetic way).

I knew I wasn’t going to get them, strictly because I liked the fit of the latter pair (neither pair looked much different to me anyways), and we had some playful banter over it, but I waited till she moved somewhere else to put them back (didn’t want to hurt her feelings, though I really doubt she cared that much).
Is clothing fitment emotional or fact-based? I think both? I felt it was simple. I liked the fit of the 2nd pair better. There was a WAY stronger emotional appeal for the first, but I just dismissed that, because what I felt were “the facts” made my decision clear, and was glad afterwards, because I realized I'd probably never see her again anyhow.
I remember that so strongly because I think that’s when I became aware of emotional pulls in sales, and began to tune them out. (Not because the emotional appeal was so strong that I couldn’t forget it. ).

Exactly. Emotion trumps logic, logic trumps emotion.

Could you explain this? Do you mean that the emotion invoked (in sales) trumps the logic (of price limit you’re blowing, the practicality of a product, etc) and then logic (of the emotions activated and now “controlling” you) trumps emotion (of the logic “crying out,” telling you it’s not the right decision)?

Sorry for the long post. I do talk a lot, but fast. That would've taken like 30 seconds tops...

 

[IAmTheJeff]

This thread is making me want to go ask people stuff, relevant to anything I have going on or not. Just stuff.

I'll report back tomorrow with mothers' middle names!

 

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[Stephanos83]

This a great thread. Rep transferred. I do have one question. Have you been able to transfer these skills to cold-emailing? If so, what dynamics do you have to overcome, and how do you do it? I understand that this would be the equivalent of online poker in contrast to live poker. It wouldn't be as effective as face-to-face or a phone call. Perhaps you know some psychological techniques for setting up a cold email to get the face-to-face or phone call where you can really start to work your magic.

Very insightful and stimulating information. Many thanks from a fellow veteran.

 

[Magik]

@MJ DeMarco - IMO, this has the makings of a gold thread.

 

[KLaw]

@Mike TG you write some great and very long a$$ posts (thats a compliment not a slam). Ive read some and skimmed over your posts and plan to really dig into these this weekend. This is truly fascinating stuff for me and I cant stress how much I appreciate you sharing it with us. Simple question - looking for a simple answer (if that is possible):
What / how do we become better listeners? Some of your earlier posts indicate practice, practice, practice. My problem is I just dont have the patience. You know what I mean? Is there a mind set I need to adopt? If so, how? Again, thanks a million for sharing. rep+

 

[Determined2012]

What skills do you think you got?

All the ones I think you DON'T got!!! LOL

I just have a way with people- with persuasion, and courting them, directing them, and them being unaware, just the interaction back and forth- the dance of it all. I would have to go through and pull out specific instances- but just saying overall the personality that he writes about- in regard to himself and what he teaches- I have that in me.

I have posted more about this before in the How do I talk to a stranger thread. I can easily and quickly disarm a person and gain their trust and get what I need/want from them.

I am very charismatic and charming during face to face interactions. I can effortlessly incite heavy emotions in a person.

I am not concise at ALL when writing (way took wordy, and I know this about myself), but verbally- I am an extremely effective communicator.

 

[workingtitle]

Thank you for this thread. You're providing incredible value.

 

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[Cruor Vult]

the fundamentals of human intelligence work so well in business it should be illegal.

Could you elaborate on this, with practical examples?

 

[Zulu]

This is a very childish question...but... what movie is closest to reality in terms of intelligence work?

 

[Griffith]

Thanks for this AMA. I find human behavior endlessly fascinating.

What is your impression of Neuro-Linguistic Programming? Is it accurate given what you know and do?

 

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[codo3500]

I'm a real estate agent, and the top trainers I've seen say exactly what you're saying about finding the root motivator and targeting that. They use techniques like "The 5 why's" .etc, but my question is: How long do you think it takes for questioning that way to stop feeling weird. For me, it still feels weird. Sometimes it just happens conversationally, but forcing it is a very manual process - how long do you think it takes for it to 'feel natural'?

 

[Daniel A]

This is awesome! I have been looking into this a lot recently. I was even considering and pondering if I should get into intelligence work for a while (Recruiters go on the campus of the university my mom works at).

"Established and used human networks to get information" - Are you able to say if you used digital mediums more than face-to-face mediums when getting information? Or were "human networks" your primary source of information?

Was the book "Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking" part of your required reading for your occupation?

Before engaging in communication with your 'target' you have to do a lot of research on the 'target' itself beforehand correct? Are there any methods and/or processes that you have for doing this that you are willing to share? For example: Andrew Warner (a guy that interviews entrepreneurs and is one himself) apparently has a method for getting anyone's email address. Do you know how to do that? If so, can you tell us the method?

Could you give us, specifically, what you found most useful in a business setting that you learned from being in the military and especially military intelligence?

That's all I have for now, but I will most likely ask more questions later

Thank you again.

PS: Your avatar depicts the truth, correct? Haha

 

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