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I just left my girlfriend of 3 years, for business. Am I a selfish prick?

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Esoteric Wealth

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With just that I would say you made a fair decision. I'm always against young people shackling themselves down too early when they haven't truly experienced jack shit yet. They end up miserable because they settled on the first person to give them the time of day which isn't wise.
BUT...
You say your reasoning was "business", but your true reason was wanting to sow your wild oats. It's evident because you went into more detail about that than business.
If you decide to leave her because you wanted to focus on bettering yourself, making money/a business, building a better future, but she didn't fit in the plans her attitude or mindset, I'd still be with you. Like if she was controlling, combative, lazy, or any other negative assumption I couldn't think of, of course leave her behind, that wouldn't aid you on your journey. If she wasn't those things and you just wanted to get your dick wet whenever or where-ever you could get it, I can't help but feel bad for the girl.
If she was supportive and a keeper then yes you are a selfish prick, but sometimes you have to be a bit selfish to get where you want to go.
All in all it was your choice and trying to get validation from strangers online won't stop your conscience from eating at you.
You're gonna carry that weight.

P.S. No matter the book always take it with a grain of salt and look before you leap.
Luckily I had actual reasons. She was supportive, but to a degree.. she had no real interest in what I was doing, and was completely unlike me.
Yes, lazy, unmotivated, always complaining about the way her mom treats her when I could tell she was just acting like a child.

I was always constantly reminded about the passage in TMF , where MJ talks about who's in your passenger seat, and mentions, "or is the relationship like luke warm water? Not too bad, not too good, but just comfortable to stay down pat".
(I know that's not word for word, but hopefully someone knows what I'm talking about.

That's EXACTLY how I felt in the relationship, I'm confident I ended it for the right reasons. Yes I may want to sow my "wild oats", but the outcome of this decision is just so, so much more than that now.

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jmusic

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I know a handful of people who absolutely regret knocking someone up/getting knocked up at that age. You can absolutely do things you'll regret/set yourself up for struggle for the rest of your life.

Truth. I was 21 when my daughter was born and 36 now. I love her lots but the $1100/mo child support payments have been a big part of the reason why I'm still in a slowlane job.

I've been a wantrepeneur for longer than OP has been alive...
 

Esoteric Wealth

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Luckily I had actual reasons. She was supportive, but to a degree.. she had no real interest in what I was doing, and was completely unlike me.
Yes, lazy, unmotivated, always complaining about the way her mom treats her when I could tell she was just acting like a child.

I was always constantly reminded about the passage in TMF , where MJ talks about who's in your passenger seat, and mentions, "or is the relationship like luke warm water? Not too bad, not too good, but just comfortable to stay down pat".
(I know that's not word for word, but hopefully someone knows what I'm talking about.

That's EXACTLY how I felt in the relationship, I'm confident I ended it for the right reasons. Yes I may want to sow my "wild oats", but the outcome of this decision is just so, so much more than that now.

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk
Also, she couldn't take advice for shit. Would get offended at the slightest suggestion that maybe she should follow Stoic philosophy to help solve her problems.

The arguments were horrible, I could not disagree with anything said.

The list honestly goes on and on, I'm starting to actually be able to recall them now as my emotional attachment to her has completely faded away.

When I first broke up with her, the "good" things about her popped in my head, but I now realize the bad outweighs the good by a F*cking long shot.

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TheRegalMachine

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She was supportive, but to a degree.. she had no real interest in what I was doing, and was completely unlike me.
Yes, lazy, unmotivated, always complaining

Also, she couldn't take advice for shit. Would get offended at the slightest suggestion that maybe she should follow Stoic philosophy to help solve her problems.

The arguments were horrible, I could not disagree with anything said.

The list honestly goes on and on, I'm starting to actually be able to recall them now as my emotional attachment to her has completely faded away.
"No relationship is perfect" would be the cliche line someone would throw your way at this point but if you felt that her personality, attitude, and presence in your life would impede on your goals and dreams then you maybe you made the right choice.
"You can't bring everyone with you." is a saying I've kept near to my heart. Because some people can't go with you to the top. They will only hold you down or endanger your success because they're just not ready and may never be ready for the journey ahead.
Grant Cardone in one of his books books talks about how he worked super hard to get with his wife. He literally chased after this woman just to get a first date. Despite the effort to date her he sat her down before getting engaged and made one thing very clear to her: He loved her but if she ever decided that she was more important that his goals or dreams it was over.
Plain and simple. Luckily his wife has the same mindset and determination as he does so they've strived.
Some may say that's a bit cold or extreme but unless you have a partner willing to support you during the struggle or go into battle with you what's the F*cking point in keeping them around?
 
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bringitnow28329

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Come on....don't see girls that way! They are individuals just like you and me too!
Do respect the ladies. Random banging ain't gonna solve the problem, respect aside.
I'm sure OP isn't into that kind of thing lol.

To each his own however I didn't say anything about not respecting ladies. What I meant is not everyone is looking to settle down and fall into the script that you are referring to. Having one women for life is pretty miserable and depressing for a lot of guys.



I know a handful of people who absolutely regret knocking someone up/getting knocked up at that age. You can absolutely do things you'll regret/set yourself up for struggle for the rest of your life.




Funny enough, this is how most of them accomplished that.

People that knock somebody up are fools and make foolish decisions like going to the bar and getting drunk and then having sex. I've banged over 300 women and did not knocked one up. It just takes discipline and common sense. I am not saying my lifestyle is for everyone but for a young guy it may be ideal, especially after a breakup. I realize there are religious folk on hear that think they will rot in hell for living this way and for these people I feel very sorry that they have been brainwashed by the church and the book.
 

MidwestLandlord

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She was supportive, but to a degree.. she had no real interest in what I was doing, and was completely unlike me.
Yes, lazy, unmotivated, always complaining about the way her mom treats her when I could tell she was just acting like a child.

Big difference between:

"Supportive"

and

"not unsupportive"

Does that make sense?

It took me about a decade longer to realize that difference than it should have haha. Glad you learned it early.
 

Esoteric Wealth

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Big difference between:

"Supportive"

and

"not unsupportive"

Does that make sense?

It took me about a decade longer to realize that difference than it should have haha. Glad you learned it early.
YES... "not unsupportive", that's the perfect way to describe it.

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Sanj Modha

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I know a handful of people who absolutely regret knocking someone up/getting knocked up at that age. You can absolutely do things you'll regret/set yourself up for struggle for the rest of your life.




Funny enough, this is how most of them accomplished that.

I was referring to the context of the OP. Since he's dumped his GF - there's less chance of knocking her up but I see your point.
 

Esoteric Wealth

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Ex is now attempting to defile my name publicly on social media.

Glad I got rid of this one. Always one for the petty drama.

I wished her nothing but the best too.

Just gonna live my life and ignore this. I'm better than it.




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The Abundant Man

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It's a damn if you do and damn if you don't. Do whatever you want.
 

Esoteric Wealth

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Hahaha... funny this thread is being brought up again. According to the date I started this thread - It's been about 11 months since I broke my self-made beta shackles. I regret nothing.

I've learned so much, I've broken free of years (lifelong) of feminist indoctrination through public schooling, the media, hollywood, music, etc. I've never seen so clearly. I've learned about truly embracing my masculinity which helps in every area of my life, including entrepreneurship.

This break up, and "red-pilling" myself is one of the best decisions I've made in my life and I know it has completely altered the course of my life as I know it. Positively of course. I'm aware enough now that I know it is rare to understand what I do at my age (21). Just as the young people on this forum are very fortunate to be exposed to fastlane ideals. Many men will not learn until it is too late.

As men, you must fight against the feminism of today. Do not embrace it. There is a slaughter against us. Against our nature. Fight it. And if you are a man, and you are not comfortable with that fact, then take a good look in the mirror. You may the be the one that needs it most.
 

LeoistheSun

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Hahaha... funny this thread is being brought up again. According to the date I started this thread - It's been about 11 months since I broke my self-made beta shackles. I regret nothing.

I've learned so much, I've broken free of years (lifelong) of feminist indoctrination through public schooling, the media, hollywood, music, etc. I've never seen so clearly. I've learned about truly embracing my masculinity which helps in every area of my life, including entrepreneurship.

This break up, and "red-pilling" myself is one of the best decisions I've made in my life and I know it has completely altered the course of my life as I know it. Positively of course. I'm aware enough now that I know it is rare to understand what I do at my age (21). Just as the young people on this forum are very fortunate to be exposed to fastlane ideals. Many men will not learn until it is too late.

As men, you must fight against the feminism of today. Do not embrace it. There is a slaughter against us. Against our nature. Fight it. And if you are a man, and you are not comfortable with that fact, then take a good look in the mirror. You may the be the one that needs it most.

I agree with some parts, but like many things (such as feminism), it has its place, its just taken too far.
 
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MTEE1985

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As men, you must fight against the feminism of today. Do not embrace it. There is a slaughter against us. Against our nature. Fight it. And if you are a man, and you are not comfortable with that fact, then take a good look in the mirror. You may the be the one that needs it most.

Right? They belong back in the kitchen, unable to vote, drive cars or think for themselves. WTF is wrong with you? Are you actually in Florida or are you in the Middle East or somehow stuck in the 1920’s? Former me would’ve simply ignored you and this thread but this is absurdity. There is no “slaughter” against men unless you’re an idiot who can’t keep his hands to himself or his di*k in his pants.

Not only that, but my call to the Sexual Marketplace has been increasing over time

I’m assuming you’re secretly Christiano Ronaldo otherwise the sexual marketplace doesn’t give a sh*t about you. Had you not said the above quoted paragraph this might have qualified for the dumbest sentence I’ve ever read on this forum.

@MJ DeMarco can we give some thought to #landfill for this?
 

Esoteric Wealth

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Right? They belong back in the kitchen, unable to vote, drive cars or think for themselves. WTF is wrong with you? Are you actually in Florida or are you in the Middle East or somehow stuck in the 1920’s? Former me would’ve simply ignored you and this thread but this is absurdity. There is no “slaughter” against men unless you’re an idiot who can’t keep his hands to himself or his di*k in his pants.

Funny, you're just the type of man I was talking about in my last sentence. I don't care if you agree with me. You're perception on the issue has no effect on the clarity I feel now. I used to be like you once. I wasn't so outspoken about it as you have been fooled to be, but that's how I was conditioned to think too.

Oh well, if you want to learn, then you'll learn. Until then good luck. Not asking for anyone's approval on this forum. I know people will disagree with me. I have strong self-taught convictions and beliefs now, that align with how I've always felt deep down but couldn't express because I had nobody to show me the light.
 

Esoteric Wealth

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@MJ DeMarco can we give some thought to #landfill for this?

Also the fact that you choose to silence and landfill thoughts you don't agree with says a lot about you.

That and the aggressive manner you chose to respond in... I smell fear.
 
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MTEE1985

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Also the fact that you choose to silence and landfill thoughts you don't agree with says a lot about you.

That and the aggressive manner you chose to respond in... I smell fear.

There is very little that I fear, my primary fears revolve around the safety of my children and being on my deathbed regretting any part of my life. My exact reason for being on this forum is the incredibly diverse and honest thinking/opinions that come from different people, at different ages and from different parts of the world.

The exact reason for the landfill is for threads that do not apply to entrepreneurship. Unless there is a business idea here around men rising up against the alleged injustice we face then this thread belongs on a relationship forum. The entire first post is about the relationship. @eliquid brought great value to it but as of this morning it’s headed in a ridiculous direction.

Landfill or not doesn’t really matter because I’m blessed with the ability to ignore.
 

Esoteric Wealth

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There is very little that I fear, my primary fears revolve around the safety of my children and being on my deathbed regretting any part of my life. My exact reason for being on this forum is the incredibly diverse and honest thinking/opinions that come from different people, at different ages and from different parts of the world.

The exact reason for the landfill is for threads that do not apply to entrepreneurship. Unless there is a business idea here around men rising up against the alleged injustice we face then this thread belongs on a relationship forum. The entire first post is about the relationship. @eliquid brought great value to it but as of this morning it’s headed in a ridiculous direction.

Landfill or not doesn’t really matter because I’m blessed with the ability to ignore.

I respect that, you're right, discussion of this nature belongs on other forums. The thing is, I wasn't asking to discuss this at all. I'm just writing what my experience was and what I've learned and that's that.

If someone wants to discuss, I'll gladly private message or direct to the appropriate forum/blog. I'm not going around starting threads about it on here. I just put my experience out there to help anyone going through the same thing and happen to come across this. They can agree or disagree, but if it even helps one person, it's worth it to me. I'm not preaching or forcing anything down anyone's throats.

If I found someone of my now mindset back in the day with my ex while on this forum, it would have helped me tremendously. Luckily I was exposed to it by other means.
 

hydemx

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Wow, just wow. My fiancee just dumped me yesterday so I have insomnia and I'm feeling down right now. However starting back in January I decided to educate myself better and started reading a lot of books.

If I take all the pain and grief away from my current situation I feel kind of identified with a lot of users who have replied here. At the end what matters the most is the ability to pursue our own dreams and goals. Sadly for me I couldn't keep my relationship in the process of becoming a better person.

Behind all the bad feelings and loneliness I feel the burning desire to become what I've always dreamed. It's nice to see that other guys feel the same way.

Sent from my Redmi Note 5 using Tapatalk
 
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Ayanle Farah

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Hahaha... funny this thread is being brought up again. According to the date I started this thread - It's been about 11 months since I broke my self-made beta shackles. I regret nothing.

I've learned so much, I've broken free of years (lifelong) of feminist indoctrination through public schooling, the media, hollywood, music, etc. I've never seen so clearly. I've learned about truly embracing my masculinity which helps in every area of my life, including entrepreneurship.

This break up, and "red-pilling" myself is one of the best decisions I've made in my life and I know it has completely altered the course of my life as I know it. Positively of course. I'm aware enough now that I know it is rare to understand what I do at my age (21). Just as the young people on this forum are very fortunate to be exposed to fastlane ideals. Many men will not learn until it is too late.

As men, you must fight against the feminism of today. Do not embrace it. There is a slaughter against us. Against our nature. Fight it. And if you are a man, and you are not comfortable with that fact, then take a good look in the mirror. You may the be the one that needs it most.
I agree, there is a silent war being waged against men. Never let anyone shame you for being the way you are.
 

Dramolion

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When I was younger than you, I would have said yes you were selfish in public.

Deep down inside though, I would have secretly thought to myself you were doing what you should for you. I always thought I was selfish on the inside, so I masked that on the outside.

People ARE selfish, and they should be.
Who's going to dress you up in the morning, then make you breakfast ?
Who 's going to work your job or fastlane-enterprise so you can have an income ?
Who's going to pay for all the things you need/want in life ?

Mother Teresa said you gotta help the person(in need of help) closest to you and then move on to the next.
she said nothing about you not being a person or not needing help.
 

Kak

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Right? They belong back in the kitchen, unable to vote, drive cars or think for themselves. WTF is wrong with you? Are you actually in Florida or are you in the Middle East or somehow stuck in the 1920’s? Former me would’ve simply ignored you and this thread but this is absurdity. There is no “slaughter” against men unless you’re an idiot who can’t keep his hands to himself or his di*k in his pants.

There is a lot of middle ground between the grotesque, destroyer of women, that feminism is today and your quote above.

I'm inclined to agree with @Richard Espinosa that the feminist indoctrination of young men is pretty sickening.

What the hell us wrong with a woman that cooks?
 
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MTEE1985

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There is a lot of middle ground between the grotesque destroyer of women that feminism is today and your quote above.

I'm inclined to agree with @Richard Espinosa that the feminist indoctrination of young men is pretty sickening.

What the hell us wrong with a woman that cooks?

I also agree but only up to a certain point. Admittedly, having a 9 month old daughter and seeing phrases like “men need to rise up” or “men are under attack” gets me fired up more than it would have in the past. Men will always be under attack, it doesn’t mean they need to fight back, it means I need to raise my son to be a good person with common sense and not a moron who thinks he’s superior.

Forgive my politics for the moment, but yes, it’s absurd how our media and certain politicians try to portray men as guilty until innocent. BK’s reactions in his opening statements were that of common sense regarding his record as a judge, father and husband, not as a man fighting back against women.

Another example that my fellow WSJ readers would know about is that California is trying to MANDATE a female board member at companies. These are extremely dangerous precencents being set. What I was alluding to above, albeit rather over the top, was that it is adherently just as bad to make statements leading in the other direction like males are on a path to losing alpha status on this earth. That is something I don’t see happening.

(If we ever get together for a round of golf we can chat further on this, I’m sure we’ll have a good laugh)
 
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Xeon

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Wow, just wow. My fiancee just dumped me yesterday so I have insomnia and I'm feeling down right now. However starting back in January I decided to educate myself better and started reading a lot of books.

If I take all the pain and grief away from my current situation I feel kind of identified with a lot of users who have replied here. At the end what matters the most is the ability to pursue our own dreams and goals. Sadly for me I couldn't keep my relationship in the process of becoming a better person.

Behind all the bad feelings and loneliness I feel the burning desire to become what I've always dreamed. It's nice to see that other guys feel the same way.

Sent from my Redmi Note 5 using Tapatalk

There is one guy here, I can't remember who was it, but he had a mentor who said something along the following lines:

"Women will make you lose money. Money will not make you lose women".

Every guy needs to follow these words. Tbh...those lines are golden and true, and needs to be carved on the hallowed walls of the home of the Heavenly Father.
 

Kak

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I also agree but only up to a certain point. Admittedly, having a 9 month old daughter and seeing phrases like “men need to rise up” or “men are under attack” gets me fired up more than it would have in the past. Men will always be under attack, it doesn’t mean they need to fight back, it means I need to raise my son to be a good person with common sense and not a moron who thinks he’s superior.

Forgive my politics for the moment, but yes, it’s absurd how our media and certain politicians try to portray men as guilty until innocent. BK’s reactions in his opening statements were that of common sense regarding his record as a judge, father and husband, not as a man fighting back against women.

Another example that my fellow WSJ readers would know about is that California is trying to MANDATE a female board member at companies. These are extremely dangerous precencents being set. What I was alluding to above, albeit rather over the top, was that it is adherently just as bad to make statements leading in the other direction like males are on a path to losing alpha status on this earth. That is something I don’t see happening.

(If we ever get together for a round of golf we can chat further on this, I’m sure we’ll have a good laugh)

Admittedly, I looked at his comments FAR more figuratively than literally. His language was sharp, but in a figurative sense I agree.

The left pinning men against women. One race against another. The rich and the poor. It's all reprehensible and those that don't recognize it as a political tool of mass manipulation are fools.

Wedge driving and affirmative action of any kind is by definition unequal. If women want board seats, they should earn them.

Looking forward to that golf round.
 
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Bryan James

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To the OP:
Dude, you're 20 years old! The right woman will eventually come into your life. Also, I think what you did was great because this is the time to become financially independent, which makes dating and relationships a whole lot easier once you've accomplished that. If I were you I'd focus on the business and worry about dating and relationships later. Your life though, your decision.
 

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