How to turn a bad situation positive

[Crissco]

Hey Fastlaners. Going to cut to the chase here. I have been an alcoholic for the last 15 years. Was living with my Dad, got into a huge argument with him 2 months ago and I got kicked out. I checked my self into rehab and am currently living a “sober house” with 15 other guys. Not the best situation but trying to make the best of it. Right now I can’t work or go to school until my 3 month mark living here is up.(I just got here).

I am being forced to sign up for welfare and social services to pay for my housing and food. I also am trying to enroll in a computer programming bootcamp at the 3 month mark (Second one I will be taking). - I hate living off of govt assistance but I feel right now since I am technically homeless it’s best for me to get my life head and life on track. I’ve made some good strides mentally these last two months and don’t want to slip back to drinking and mess it all up.

But of course for the most part I am very unhappy about this whole situation. Being on welfare in NY I can make up to $18,000 a year on the side. How should I go about this? I don’t have access to my personal lap top. Only the house computers which I can use, but not overuse. I want to get out of this situation as quick as I can but I know since I chose the school route I may be here a year and a half since the bootcamp is 10-11 months long on its own, then I have to find a job again..etc.

Any advice is appreciated

Crissco

 

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[Andy Black]

Hey Fastlaners. Going to cut to the chase here. I have been an alcoholic for the last 15 years. Was living with my Dad, got into a huge argument with him 2 months ago and I got kicked out. I checked my self into rehab and am currently living a “sober house” with 15 other guys. Not the best situation but trying to make the best of it. Right now I can’t work or go to school until my 3 month mark living here is up.(I just got here).

I am being forced to sign up for welfare and social services to pay for my housing and food. I also am trying to enroll in a computer programming bootcamp at the 3 month mark (Second one I will be taking). - I hate living off of govt assistance but I feel right now since I am technically homeless it’s best for me to get my life head and life on track. I’ve made some good strides mentally these last two months and don’t want to slip back to drinking and mess it all up.

But of course for the most part I am very unhappy about this whole situation. Being on welfare in NY I can make up to $18,000 a year on the side. How should I go about this? I don’t have access to my personal lap top. Only the house computers which I can use, but not overuse. I want to get out of this situation as quick as I can but I know since I chose the school route I may be here a year and a half since the bootcamp is 10-11 months long on its own, then I have to find a job again..etc.

Any advice is appreciated

Crissco

Make this the turning point.

I've a friend who was an alcoholic who now works for himself and loves it. So it's possible.


Watch MJ's video here:

GOLD! - HOT! - From Flat-Broke to Financial Freedom: How to Get Started When You Have No Money

I see this question a lot here, and posted in a lot of introductions. How do I get started when I have no money and no skills? I made a video to answer... Also there's an update on my next book near the end of the vid! Enjoy, and if you're broke with no skills, I hope it helps you!

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Try not to make "learning" your goal.
Watch the 8 minute video here:

NOTABLE! - MEETUPS - [TFLF Call Replay] - For teens & students getting started

Hi all. @Lawtiti (who changed his forum name to @Chet Shen) created a Meetup Thread a few days ago and had a Zoom call with @ZCP who gave advice on getting started etc. I offered to do a Zoom where I'll go through some of the main things I think holds people back when getting started, and how...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Good luck. Rooting for you. Happy to chat about any of the above.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Your first goal should be to find yourself a computer which is the key tool in escaping your situation.

There's nothing wrong with getting a job until that goal is achieved.

Congrats on getting yourself straight, one step at a time my brother.

 

[ZCP]

Give yourself some credit @Crissco !

First step is the hardest and you've already done it.

Short hurdles and build successes. Each day improve your health / mindset / skills 1/2 of 1%.
Do one more pushup. Be thankful for one more thing. Learn one new skill.
You got this!!

 

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[Crissco]

Thank you Andy and MJ for your responses.

@MJ DeMarco - I’m in a sober house right now and not really allowed my personal computer which is an issue. We have computers here which I can use with limits. I do have my phone all day which can be a positive if done correctly. I can always be a middle man. Find website clients outsource it on Upwork if anything and take a cut. Since I’ll be going to school through the state to increase my skillset, I have to be very careful how much I make per year or I’ll be cut off with no money

Also after 30 days I can go outside and go to the library for a couple of hours to work on the library computer also

 

[Crissco]

So good news. Eventhough I’m living in a sober house right now, I asked the supervisor if I can bring my laptop in since I heard some people have them here. She said yes, so this upcoming weekend / week, I’ll have my laptop back I’m a happy man today

 

[Crissco]

Got my laptop back, typing on it as we speak

 

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[GymBro]

From what you have said. I think that this would cause your mental health to be horrid. The first priority should be to improve it. Try stuff like (this will sound stupid, but it does work): Journaling, gratitude journaling, and meditation.
For journaling, write down something on paper that you don't want to think about or have been avoiding, face your fears. For gratitude journaling, write down 5 things that you are grateful for and why. For meditation. Pick a point of focus (usually breath), focus on it, when you think about something else, bring your attention back to your chosen point of focus, don't get mad when you realise that you were not focused, the whole point of meditation is bringing the focus back. Do that for 10 minutes. Do everything here and you will feel a lot better. After that, doing anything else will be easier. Hope this helps

 

[Crissco]

From what you have said. I think that this would cause your mental health to be horrid. The first priority should be to improve it. Try stuff like (this will sound stupid, but it does work): Journaling, gratitude journaling, and meditation.
For journaling, write down something on paper that you don't want to think about or have been avoiding, face your fears. For gratitude journaling, write down 5 things that you are grateful for and why. For meditation. Pick a point of focus (usually breath), focus on it, when you think about something else, bring your attention back to your chosen point of focus, don't get mad when you realise that you were not focused, the whole point of meditation is bringing the focus back. Do that for 10 minutes. Do everything here and you will feel a lot better. After that, doing anything else will be easier. Hope this helps

How right you are. When I was in rehab thats all I did, it was amazing. No laptop, no phone, nothing. Just me a pen and piece of paper like back in the day. Im going to AA meeting a well in the sober house which is helpful for me. Im going to start going to outpatient also which will have more groups I can attend, will only be helpful. Great advice, thanks.

 

[GymBro]

How right you are. When I was in rehab thats all I did, it was amazing. No laptop, no phone, nothing. Just me a pen and piece of paper like back in the day. Im going to AA meeting a well in the sober house which is helpful for me. Im going to start going to outpatient also which will have more groups I can attend, will only be helpful. Great advice, thanks.

No problem

 

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[GymBro]

No problem

Actually, just to start you off. Tell us 5 things that you are grateful for and why in this thread

 

[Crissco]

Actually, just to start you off. Tell us 5 things that you are grateful for and why in this thread

Today is a cold day in NY, so heat for sure
Being sober as long as ive been
My parents for being supportive
Internet / this forum for being a gerat resource / motivation
Code, the fact anything I can think of pretty much can be created, gives me a light at the end of the tunnel positive mindset

 

[GymBro]

Today is a cold day in NY, so heat for sure
Being sober as long as ive been
My parents for being supportive
Internet / this forum for being a gerat resource / motivation
Code, the fact anything I can think of pretty much can be created, gives me a light at the end of the tunnel positive mindset

great start.

 

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[Masterklm]

Hey Fastlaners. Going to cut to the chase here. I have been an alcoholic for the last 15 years. Was living with my Dad, got into a huge argument with him 2 months ago and I got kicked out. I checked my self into rehab and am currently living a “sober house” with 15 other guys. Not the best situation but trying to make the best of it. Right now I can’t work or go to school until my 3 month mark living here is up.(I just got here).

I am being forced to sign up for welfare and social services to pay for my housing and food. I also am trying to enroll in a computer programming bootcamp at the 3 month mark (Second one I will be taking). - I hate living off of govt assistance but I feel right now since I am technically homeless it’s best for me to get my life head and life on track. I’ve made some good strides mentally these last two months and don’t want to slip back to drinking and mess it all up.

But of course for the most part I am very unhappy about this whole situation. Being on welfare in NY I can make up to $18,000 a year on the side. How should I go about this? I don’t have access to my personal lap top. Only the house computers which I can use, but not overuse. I want to get out of this situation as quick as I can but I know since I chose the school route I may be here a year and a half since the bootcamp is 10-11 months long on its own, then I have to find a job again..etc.

Any advice is appreciated

Crissco

I don't know if you should take my advice, I've smoked weed, vape and had been addicted to p*rn for years, but have changed that, I literally don't do those things anymore. Here's the best I got for you in terms of your drinking addiction. Stop identifying as someone who is trying to quit but Identify as someone who simply doesn't do that. Your identity is powerful. If this doesn't sound credible, I learned it from a book named Atomic habits which is about starting good habits and breaking bad ones. Your identity must change to a new person. A person who doesn't drink. Once you leave out of rehab, and you get offered a drink, don't tell the person "no thank you, I'm trying to quit", tell them "no thank you, I don't drink". This will help solidify your identity because not only you believe it, but others believe it too, this will hold you accountable. Another thing is think about it, tell yourself this, "A drinker would have drank alcohol yesterday, and I didn't", this had kept me going, you have to morbidly believe it, you don't try to quit, you just don't do it, don't even say you don't drink anymore, you simply don't drink,end of story, then simply don't think about alcohol just live your normal life with new hobbies. Don't be like other people and count how many days/months it's been since your last drink, just live your life, forget how many days it's been, Since your a person who doesn't drink these type of people don't count days, the days should blend in with your normal life. It might be tough the first few times but I promise this advice will at the very least get you through dark days. And about the 12 month book camp... Depends on the programming language but I learned how to make website off YouTube in 4 months so i think there might be a faster way to learn that a 12 month boot camp but yet again, the bootcamp could teach you more than any YouTube video but for me YouTube is enough to learn programming. I'm still learning about these things I'm still a 17 year old but yeah I think it could help you.

 

[Pain Brain]

I don't know if you should take my advice, I've smoked weed, vape and had been addicted to p*rn for years, but have changed that, I literally don't do those things anymore. Here's the best I got for you in terms of your drinking addiction. Stop identifying as someone who is trying to quit but Identify as someone who simply doesn't do that. Your identity is powerful. If this doesn't sound credible, I learned it from a book named Atomic habits which is about starting good habits and breaking bad ones. Your identity must change to a new person. A person who doesn't drink. Once you leave out of rehab, and you get offered a drink, don't tell the person "no thank you, I'm trying to quit", tell them "no thank you, I don't drink". This will help solidify your identity because not only you believe it, but others believe it too, this will hold you accountable. Another thing is think about it, tell yourself this, "A drinker would have drank alcohol yesterday, and I didn't", this had kept me going, you have to morbidly believe it, you don't try to quit, you just don't do it, don't even say you don't drink anymore, you simply don't drink,end of story, then simply don't think about alcohol just live your normal life with new hobbies. Don't be like other people and count how many days/months it's been since your last drink, just live your life, forget how many days it's been, Since your a person who doesn't drink these type of people don't count days, the days should blend in with your normal life. It might be tough the first few times but I promise this advice will at the very least get you through dark days. And about the 12 month book camp... Depends on the programming language but I learned how to make website off YouTube in 4 months so i think there might be a faster way to learn that a 12 month boot camp but yet again, the bootcamp could teach you more than any YouTube video but for me YouTube is enough to learn programming. I'm still learning about these things I'm still a 17 year old but yeah I think it could help you.

Nice work in overcoming your addictions and developing a skill (though add spacing to your post so it is easier to read). Like @Masterklm mentioned, you can learn a lot quicker (and a lot more) without boot camp by taking on clients whether for free or not. For the front end you can be up to speed in less than a month.

 

[Johnny boy]

Your problem isn’t drinking your problem is being incredibly stupid.

Had a whole bottle of moscato last night

I feel great. What a great day to make more money and grow my business.

Don’t blame alcohol for you just making bad decisions.

Your thoughts and actions are the problem and you created them

Just go get a job dude

 

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