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How To Properly Thank A Fastlaner

Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by WealthyMarketer, Mar 29, 2019.

  1. WealthyMarketer
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    WealthyMarketer Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Picture This: You’re in a luxurious Tiffany-blue velvet-lined ballroom at the Las Vegas Wynn hotel. The sound of slot machines fills your ears, and the smell of free coffee and popcorn fills the air.

    It’s 6:30PM, and Gary Vaynerchuk is up on stage right in front of you. He just wrapped up a two-hour long lecture.

    His talk changed your life. You made changes to your sites as he spoke; changes that just earned you $25,000 worth of new business. That’s more than double your cost of attending the entire three-day seminar.

    You feel extremely grateful.

    Suddenly, you see him walk by. You tap him on the shoulder, intending to express your gratitude. He turns around and you two make eye contact.

    Suddenly, it dawns on you...

    You Have No Idea
    What To Say!

    You’re feeling extremely grateful, and you want to express it. After all, this guy changed your life!

    Afraid that he’ll walk away again, you clumsily sputter the first words that come to your mind.

    “I just want to say… thank you… for everything!”

    He Shrugs You Off

    Guilt suddenly pangs your chest. You thought you expressed the deepest gratitude humanly possible.

    Was it because he’s a producer and you’re a ‘nobody’?

    Not At All

    I’ll tell you why. You expressed something to Gary. However, what you said, or at least what you thought you said, turned out to be something vastly different than what he actually heard.

    He didn’t hear you say, "Thank you.” What he actually heard you say was:

    “I Liked Your Speech,
    But I’m Too Lazy To Tell You Why.

    Shocked?

    Don’t worry, I was too when I first discovered this.

    There’s a right way to say “thank you” to someone, especially a high-level producer. There's also a wrong way to do it; an absolutely wrong way. The thing is, you’ll be shocked to discover what the wrong way is because you probably do it all the time. The wrong way works just fine for sidewalkers and even for some slowlaners. However, it doesn’t work for Gary Vee, nor does it work for MJ or the other producers on here.

    Curious to know what the right ways (and the wrong ways) are to say “thank you”?

    Read on.

    5 - “Thank you for everything.” [Absolutely Wrong]

    This is the absolute worst way to say “thank you”. When you say “thank you for everything,” what you’re actually saying is:

    “I feel like I should express gratitude on a deep level, but I’m too lazy to make the effort. I’m too lazy to think about and express to you what it is specifically that I’m actually grateful for, so I won’t.”

    This is why Gary Vee blew you off.

    You, after listening to him preach about hustling for two straight hours, showed him just exactly how lazy you’re still willing to be. You thought you were expressing the deepest gratitude you could from the deepest part of your heart. In reality, you expressed that you’re too lazy to think of and tell him even one thing you liked or one thing that changed your life. Even after he made the effort to travel to where you are. Even after giving his heart and soul to you for two straight hours.

    [Remember, for high-value producers, currency is measured in time, not money. Gary values two hours of his time infinitely more than the homeless panhandler harassing tourists in the lobby.]

    Think about it: How does saying “thank you for everything” provide value to the other person? The other person won’t know what it is you’re thankful for. They won’t know what it is they did that helped you or added value to you. All they know is that you felt like expressing gratitude at some point, but you’re not willing to make the effort to say or even think about why.

    4 - “Thank you.” [Very Weak]

    While this is fine if the other person did something really small for you (like if they held open the door for you or passed you the salt), it doesn’t really establish intimacy or rapport, and it doesn’t really provide value to the other person. It’s more something that you do automatically because you were programmed to and you don’t want to sound rude.

    Unless it’s blatantly obvious, it also doesn’t tell the other person why you’re grateful. Unless they’re a mind reader, don’t assume the other person knows what you think they know.

    3 - “Thank you for the [noun].” [Weak]

    Example: “Thank you for the seminar.”

    While better than the first two methods, it’s still not the greatest. Like, if someone gave you a book, you could say, “Thank you for the book.”

    This is the method sidewalkers and slowlaners use when they want to express deep appreciation and gratitude.

    However, there is a problem with this method.

    Thanking someone for a noun doesn’t actually add value. To use MJ’s vernacular, if you thank someone for a noun, you’re expressing gratitude for an event. Which is fine, but don’t you think it’d be much more powerful if you expressed gratitude for the process the other person endured in order to deliver the event to you?

    Yeah, I thought so.

    Here’s the good news: The last two methods I’m going to talk about here today address process. They are tools you can use to express your deepest appreciation and gratitude for the process the other person endured to add value to you. When you use these two methods to express your gratitude to the other person, you add a tremendous amount of value to them. To use them is to make them feel appreciated and valued. It will encourage them to work harder to provide even more value to you in return.

    Most people go their whole lives without being thanked in this manner.

    I credit the next method of saying “thank you” to saving my marriage on more than one occasion. I automatically say “thank you” in this manner to my wife (or to anyone for that matter); however, what she hears is “I notice and appreciate all the hard work you do”.

    I once thanked a co-worker in this manner, and she went on and on about how she's been with the company for 25 years, and I was the very first person ever to acknowledge that she has to do a certain difficult task, and that I was the very first person ever to make her feel loved and appreciated for what she did.

    Are you ready to learn what these two earth-shattering methods are?

    Yes?

    Read on.

    2 - “Thank you for [doingness]...” [Best For Sidewalkers and Slowlaners]

    Example: “Thank you for doing the laundry.”

    Another Example: “Thank you for washing the dishes.” “Thank you for lending me your copy of UNSCRIPTED.” “Thank you for putting together a free 15-Day copywriting course.”

    For 99% of the people out there, this is the absolute best way of expressing gratitude and saying “thank you.” Most people out there don’t get thanked for what they do. They’ll slave away at their jobs 8+ hours a day, go home, and slave away at chores for another 4+ hours, and the only feedback they’ll receive is: “You missed this.” “You did this wrong.”

    And, if they did do get thanked, it’s either just a “thank you” or a “thank you for the report.”

    Saying “thank you for doing…” can help you close a sale. Or, it can even save your relationship. I know because it saved mine a number of times.

    Saying “thank you” in this manner makes the other person feel extremely loved and appreciated. They also feel helpful and useful. This will encourage them to do more of what they’re doing. And, yes, thanking someone for doingness adds value to them.

    If you thank someone for doingness, you’re thanking them for the process they’re engaging in (for your benefit, not their enjoyment), not for the event at the end.

    Believe it or not, there is one more way of saying “thank you”. And, it’s even better than the last. It’s the most powerful way by far, but it’ll only really resonate with someone who operates at a high level. If you’re reading this, you operate at this level. However, beware: Most people out there do not. If you thank a sidewalker or a slowlaner in this manner, they won’t feel appreciated or loved. They’ll think you’re being strange and disingenuous. They’ll laugh it off. They’ll ask you if you’re drunk or high.

    However, if you thank a fastlaner or someone who operates at a really high level in this manner, they’ll feel loved and cared for on a spiritual level.

    Enough chatter. Ready to discover what this last method is?

    Here you go:

    1 - “Thank you for being…” [Absolute Best]

    Example: “Thank you for being my bright light and source of inspiration while I was brutally battling the demons in my mind.”

    Another Example: “Thank you MJ for being so generous and kind with your time, your effort, and your knowledge. This forum and this community that you tirelessly spent putting together drastically changed my life and re-wired my entrepreneurial DNA. It has made me a much more productive member of society than I previously was as a value-cheater.”

    Thanking Someone For Their Beingness
    Is the Deepest Way You Can Express Gratitude

    It’s one thing to thank someone, another thing to thank someone for what they did, extremely shitty to thank someone for “everything”, but it’s another to thank someone for who they are.

    Not only will thanking someone for their beingness encourage them to keep doing what they’re doing; it will encourage them to keep being who they are.

    Now, note: If you just walk up to someone on the street and thank them for “being such a powerful source of inspiration for you”, they would probably call the guys in the white lab coats. But, if you have a deep connection with someone; if you say thank you to them, if they operate at a high level, or they have extremely high self-esteem, then you can thank the other person for beingness.

    I don’t need to go into how much value you’d be adding to the other person if you say “thank you” in this manner. I’ll just say that it’ll resonate with their spirit and their core being. This is beyond “process.”

    Stop.

    It’s 6:30PM on a Sunday evening. You find yourself in a Tiffany-blue velvet-lined ballroom in Las Vegas’ Wynn hotel. The sound of slot machines fills your ears, and the smell of free coffee and popcorn fills the air.

    Gary Vee’s on stage. He’s just finishing up his final speech. His talk changed your life. You put some of his wisdom to use as he spoke, and you just landed a $25,000 contract.

    Suddenly, you see him walk by.

    You tap him on the shoulder, and he turns around.

    You two make eye contact.

    What Do You Say?

    ***​

    By making this post, my intention was to provide you with a free and easy to use tool you can use to give others value. To give you the ability to build and establish a deep and spiritual connection with another person. To help others feel loved and appreciated. To make someone feel acknowledged for something you didn't even know they worked very hard on.

    This Tool Has The Power To Close Sales
    And Even Save Your Relationship

    This tool provides you with a framework to work off of when you want to express the deep gratitude you feel when you want to express appreciation to a high performer.

    Sidwalkers and slowlaners say, "Thank you," "Thank you very much," and, "Thank you for everything."

    Fastlaners say, "Thank you for doing..." and, "Thank you for being..."

    Thank you for spending your precious and valuable time with me, and thank you for being such a wonderful reader and value producer.

    You’re a beautiful person.

    -Dan


    P.S. Cut out the “I was just about to say…” before you say, “Thank you for…” Those six words are just preamble. Preamble is nothing more than the words you say before you start talking. Preambles don’t add value to the other person. All they do is give you a tiny wall to hide behind.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2019
  2. chuckypita
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    chuckypita Bronze Contributor

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    Dude - that 15 copy write course has done you well! BOOM! Great post.

    As an educator, when I work with students the principles apply there too.... I don't say, "Good job Becky" - I say, "Becky! Awesome work with your Photosynthesis Essay, your insights were well researched..." or something with qualitative specific feedback. The results are much higher levels of student engagement and student's who are willing to do the extra work...

    Anyway - great post!
     
    NMdad, Sheens, Andy Black and 4 others like this.
  3. WealthyMarketer
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    WealthyMarketer Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Wow, thanks for being so generous with your praise :) And good point!
     
    Andy Black likes this.
  4. alekssiht
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    alekssiht New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Thank you for sharing this valuable piece of a puzzle. In addition, for being so generous with recognizion we all need to push on!

    Have a wonderful day!
     
    WealthyMarketer and Andy Black like this.
  5. Overdrive
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    Overdrive Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    WealthyMarketer, I just pressed "like", but I realize that's just equal to a regular "Thank you". Therefore, to show my appreciation, I'd like to say thank you for writing this very insightful post which is a great reminder to me (and probably all of us here) to always feel and properly express gratitude towards the people in your life.
     
    WealthyMarketer, Andy Black and 100k like this.
  6. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Thank you for the nice write up. I really never thought of "thanks" this way but now that you mention it, much of it I agree with.

    I love receiving any kind of thanks.

    But the difference between, "Thank you I enjoyed your book"

    and

    "Thank you, you changed my life as I now am a millionaire with a growing business and I freed myself from the tyranny of convention."

    are light years different.
     
  7. WealthyMarketer
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    WealthyMarketer Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Wow, thank you for being so kind and generous with your feedback! I’m glad you got some value from my writeup :)
     
  8. Sire Bryan
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    Sire Bryan New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Wow! Thank you for taking the time to put this together. You just gave me an extremely insightful perspective on not only how to properly express gratitude, but also why I can sometimes be dismissive when people thank me the "lazy way"!
     
    WealthyMarketer likes this.
  9. Fox
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    Fox Moderator Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    That was great. One of those things you read and it clicks right away.

    Funny how one-word choice (doing/being) makes such a huge impact.

    Rep sent.
     
    NMdad, WealthyMarketer and Sheens like this.
  10. ProcessPro
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    ProcessPro Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Thank you @WealthyMarketer for taking not just your time to write that, but to write it so well that you pulled me in as I skimmed the threads on the forum's homepage and kept me reading long enough to get your point. I needed that. Thing is, I have a good heart and there are people I love and try to express my gratitude to often, but I've never really been thought a proper 'how', the way you just taught me. Now I know better. I will be putting this into practice.

    Where did you learn copy by the way?
     

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