- Joined
- Jun 3, 2015
- Messages
- 2,166
Rep Bank
$3,160
$3,160
User Power: 161%
I have seen a few feedback posts on TFF recently and it set me thinking about how people usually do it wrong.
Huh? Feedback is feedback isn't it?
No, it isn't.
Let's break it down, it's not rocket science, or (the much more complex) brain surgery, however it should be somewhat analysed and categorised.
So you can either get feedback from family, friends, colleagues or strangers and those people (hopefully) care about you in descending order, whereby your family love you most and strangers couldn't care if you live or die. Most of us believe this is a good guide for asking for feedback, we believe because our families care about us and strangers don't, that this will somehow create a reverse correlation with the quality of advice we get when asking about our projects.
This is patently untrue.
Of course your parent (hopefully) cares more about your feelings than I do, however we both have something in common, we are human beings and therefore contain DNA subjected to the evolutionary pressures of natural selection. Put simply, we are both herd animals and thusly are programmed not to upset the applecart so to speak. In other words, neither of us want to unnecessarily hurt your feelings. So if you rush enthusiastically into a room, eyes wide, wearing a big smile, sweat dripping from your brow and ask, "What do you think of this guys?" Both I, and your parent will say something along the lines of, "I like it, it's cool."
After that point we may, depending on your reaction to our initial response, try and give you some constructive (more honest) feedback, however we will be monitoring your facial expressions and general body language for clues that what we're saying isn't offending/hurting you.
Okay, so simple solution, before asking for feedback tell people you are not afraid of their criticism.
Hmm, yeah, sorry, social interaction doesn't work like that.
Imagine you have a female friend who has just spent a small fortune in the hairdressing salon. She leaves the salon, gets home, looks in the mirror and decides she actually hates the hairstyle and starts to have some very uncharitable thoughts about the stylist.
She calls you up to bemoan her bad luck. "Oh my god! The hairdresser has totally effed up my hair! I don't even want to go out!"
"I'm sure it's not that bad." You say.
"It is! It was meant to be a reimagining of a 60s beehive, but I just look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards!"
"You're such a drama queen, I bet you look beautiful as ever."
"I'll prove it, I'm sending you a pic right now." Your friend says.
She sends over the pick and she's right, it's truly awful. Your friend is attractive, but the hairstyle ages her and isn't symmetrical. However you realise in order to fix it, she'll literally have to get a buzz cut and let it grow back, which she isn't going to do.
"See, I told you! Come on, be honest, I can take it; It's awful isn't it?"
"No! It's not that bad...."
Why didn't you tell her she looks like a weird old granny from sixty years ago?
Okay, maybe one or two of your friends you can be honest with in this way, because you are constantly bantering and ribbing each other, but on the whole, even if someone says "be honest", we won't, because we don't want to hurt feelings.
Alright, get on with it then. What's the right way to ask?
Concentrate on the negatives, instead of asking, "Do you like this?" ask, "What don't you like about this?"
Don't ask "What would you change about this?" Instead ask, "Can you spot any flaws in this?"
Instead of, "Do you think people will like it?" Try, "What potential complaints do you think I'll get?"
By framing all of your questions in the negative, you are sending a subconscious signal to the person you're asking, that you are fine with negative feedback, in fact you welcome it. Which of course, you should. Locking yourself in a "that's awesome!" echo chamber, will probably lead to you making some very costly mistakes.
Also, before you ask, never and I mean never, tell the person you're asking for feedback from, how hard you've toiled on this, it will make it a hundred times harder for them to be honest with you.
BONUS!!
I've just been reading @Beijing's excellent progress thread on going back to the slowlane whilst they build up capital for their business and I saw a way of asking for feedback that never even crossed my mind and it's absolutely brilliant.
Wherever possible, don't even tell the person you're trying to get feedback from, that the product is even yours! Tell them it's from another company/artist/whatever.
By doing so you will alleviate their cognitive burden and honesty will flow forth! Careful though, make sure your skin is thick, because you will get a completely unfettered response, if the thing is crap, they'll tell you and it's up to you not to be hurt by it, because then you probe them further and find out why they think such a thing.
So, go out there and whether you're asking for feedback in a live situation, on this or another forum, use the rules above and give all your questions a negative skew and prepare yourself for a ton of honest feedback.
Much love and good luck!
Huh? Feedback is feedback isn't it?
No, it isn't.
Let's break it down, it's not rocket science, or (the much more complex) brain surgery, however it should be somewhat analysed and categorised.
So you can either get feedback from family, friends, colleagues or strangers and those people (hopefully) care about you in descending order, whereby your family love you most and strangers couldn't care if you live or die. Most of us believe this is a good guide for asking for feedback, we believe because our families care about us and strangers don't, that this will somehow create a reverse correlation with the quality of advice we get when asking about our projects.
This is patently untrue.
Of course your parent (hopefully) cares more about your feelings than I do, however we both have something in common, we are human beings and therefore contain DNA subjected to the evolutionary pressures of natural selection. Put simply, we are both herd animals and thusly are programmed not to upset the applecart so to speak. In other words, neither of us want to unnecessarily hurt your feelings. So if you rush enthusiastically into a room, eyes wide, wearing a big smile, sweat dripping from your brow and ask, "What do you think of this guys?" Both I, and your parent will say something along the lines of, "I like it, it's cool."
After that point we may, depending on your reaction to our initial response, try and give you some constructive (more honest) feedback, however we will be monitoring your facial expressions and general body language for clues that what we're saying isn't offending/hurting you.
Okay, so simple solution, before asking for feedback tell people you are not afraid of their criticism.
Hmm, yeah, sorry, social interaction doesn't work like that.
Imagine you have a female friend who has just spent a small fortune in the hairdressing salon. She leaves the salon, gets home, looks in the mirror and decides she actually hates the hairstyle and starts to have some very uncharitable thoughts about the stylist.
She calls you up to bemoan her bad luck. "Oh my god! The hairdresser has totally effed up my hair! I don't even want to go out!"
"I'm sure it's not that bad." You say.
"It is! It was meant to be a reimagining of a 60s beehive, but I just look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards!"
"You're such a drama queen, I bet you look beautiful as ever."
"I'll prove it, I'm sending you a pic right now." Your friend says.
She sends over the pick and she's right, it's truly awful. Your friend is attractive, but the hairstyle ages her and isn't symmetrical. However you realise in order to fix it, she'll literally have to get a buzz cut and let it grow back, which she isn't going to do.
"See, I told you! Come on, be honest, I can take it; It's awful isn't it?"
"No! It's not that bad...."
Why didn't you tell her she looks like a weird old granny from sixty years ago?
Okay, maybe one or two of your friends you can be honest with in this way, because you are constantly bantering and ribbing each other, but on the whole, even if someone says "be honest", we won't, because we don't want to hurt feelings.
Alright, get on with it then. What's the right way to ask?
Concentrate on the negatives, instead of asking, "Do you like this?" ask, "What don't you like about this?"
Don't ask "What would you change about this?" Instead ask, "Can you spot any flaws in this?"
Instead of, "Do you think people will like it?" Try, "What potential complaints do you think I'll get?"
By framing all of your questions in the negative, you are sending a subconscious signal to the person you're asking, that you are fine with negative feedback, in fact you welcome it. Which of course, you should. Locking yourself in a "that's awesome!" echo chamber, will probably lead to you making some very costly mistakes.
Also, before you ask, never and I mean never, tell the person you're asking for feedback from, how hard you've toiled on this, it will make it a hundred times harder for them to be honest with you.
BONUS!!
I've just been reading @Beijing's excellent progress thread on going back to the slowlane whilst they build up capital for their business and I saw a way of asking for feedback that never even crossed my mind and it's absolutely brilliant.
Wherever possible, don't even tell the person you're trying to get feedback from, that the product is even yours! Tell them it's from another company/artist/whatever.
By doing so you will alleviate their cognitive burden and honesty will flow forth! Careful though, make sure your skin is thick, because you will get a completely unfettered response, if the thing is crap, they'll tell you and it's up to you not to be hurt by it, because then you probe them further and find out why they think such a thing.
So, go out there and whether you're asking for feedback in a live situation, on this or another forum, use the rules above and give all your questions a negative skew and prepare yourself for a ton of honest feedback.
Much love and good luck!
Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member:
Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)
Membership Required: Upgrade to Expose Nearly 1,000,000 Posts
Ready to Unleash the Millionaire Entrepreneur in You?
Become a member of the Fastlane Forum, the private community founded by best-selling author and multi-millionaire entrepreneur MJ DeMarco. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has poured his heart and soul into the Fastlane Forum, helping entrepreneurs reclaim their time, win their financial freedom, and live their best life.
With more than 39,000 posts packed with insights, strategies, and advice, you’re not just a member—you’re stepping into MJ’s inner-circle, a place where you’ll never be left alone.
Become a member and gain immediate access to...
- Active Community: Ever join a community only to find it DEAD? Not at Fastlane! As you can see from our home page, life-changing content is posted dozens of times daily.
- Exclusive Insights: Direct access to MJ DeMarco’s daily contributions and wisdom.
- Powerful Networking Opportunities: Connect with a diverse group of successful entrepreneurs who can offer mentorship, collaboration, and opportunities.
- Proven Strategies: Learn from the best in the business, with actionable advice and strategies that can accelerate your success.
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most..."
Who are you surrounding yourself with? Surround yourself with millionaire success. Join Fastlane today!
Join Today
